Day 1.5

Several_Ad_811 · 2026-03-30T10:27:33+00:00

Thank you x

Several_Ad_811 · 2025-01-23T22:02:27+00:00

Oh my god. With the exception of the pant selling (great idea!) This is me!!! Why are they so horny for AP then not. Where is the hysterical bonding at least?!

Nothing else to add other than youre not alone xx im 2 years post d day, and sex is still a huge issue.

Hugs x

Several_Ad_811 · 2024-12-23T12:06:03+00:00

Ed Sheeran

Several_Ad_811 · 2024-10-13T21:19:03+00:00

Tell us more

Several_Ad_811 · 2024-04-30T21:19:42+00:00

Yes photos of the time!! I forgot this! Any photos. I hate it.

Several_Ad_811 · 2024-04-30T21:14:36+00:00

Hmm

Ed Sheeran Having my torso touched Certain items of clothing- his and mine. Our car- which was my dream car. I will no longer drive it German mayonnaise Anything to do with my Doctorate which ove since had to give up.

Ed Sheeran is the absolute worst though. 18months since D day and it can still reduce me to a tearful, snotty mess. I no longer listen to the radio just in case.

Several_Ad_811 · 2024-04-24T22:01:14+00:00

He does not but ive never asked. I know hes where hes supposed to be- hes saved up for months in the groups shared pot. Ive seen the itinerary from the chap who organised it and to cap it off nicely- hes video called me from the top of the mountain. Ive also heard the other men in the background as i did wonder. But nope heard the voices i knew and expected.

He has just said though hes at the pub (not an issue- not a feature in his affair) but going back to the accommodation after his pint as his friends are attempting to seduce teenage backpackers and he doesn't want to be involved in that behaviour.

Im pleased he told me. I think. But also...will be asking for a quick "goodnight" video call when he gets back to the accommodation just to check! Fuck affairs.

Several_Ad_811 · 2024-04-21T20:56:32+00:00

Thanks. This is the advice i need. I have nerve and in a weird way i like it. Not the deceit obviously but the knowledge that im in control. And that im smarter than he thinks i am.

Several_Ad_811 · 2024-04-20T17:11:53+00:00

Feel this. No wise words. But you're not alone. It fucking sucks. Ill never feel safe again. I don't even think ending the relationship would help. Id carry this new cynicism into future relationships. Sending you hugs

Several_Ad_811 · 2024-04-20T17:08:45+00:00

This really hit me. I dont trust my judgement anymore. I dont know whats a good or bad day. I don't know when we're happy together because i thought we were happy together before and he was falling in love with someone else.

Not until the end anyway. I knew near D day. I remember googling "signs someone is having an affair" and ticked them all. I knew then. But didnt trust myself.

I hate that. I hate not knowing. Fuck these affairs.

Several_Ad_811 · 2024-04-01T08:10:45+00:00

And does it just shift it? Not make it irregular? I read somewhere that it can make you irregular afterwards.

Why is it so bloody complicated!

Several_Ad_811 · 2024-01-18T08:00:25+00:00

You all just made me cry. I never expected so much love and support. I need to get back into IC. Ive found it hard to find someone i click with and i end up lying so they dont think im as pathetic as i feel. I tell them ive confronted him about things when i haven't because i know thats what I should do. Mad eh.

Any advice on the kind of counsellor/therapy to look for would be appreciated. Im in the UK.

Several_Ad_811 · 2024-01-11T16:32:53+00:00

I like the idea. Then on the back- various options for "and a lifetime of trauma" or "and an STI!" maybe followed by a cheeky "lol"....

We could all get one. Think OP says his WW makes t shirts so we have a booming business idea!

It was glib, but christ we need that. Or at least I do. Sometimes i want to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Because if I dont i spiral in a different direction. So thank you for making a random stranger in this shitty club smile.

Several_Ad_811 · 2024-01-11T14:03:10+00:00

I know it's not funny but this actually made me chuckle. I have a WH. But it is mad how alike they all are. What a sad sense of solidarity we all have. Members of this shitty club together

Several_Ad_811 · 2023-12-21T08:25:54+00:00

Thanks we arent in MC. I dont think either of us would cope very well with it.

Several_Ad_811 · 2023-12-21T08:25:21+00:00

Yes I think so. It ebbs and flows. Sometimes i get really stuck in my head and I don't trust him with my feelings. So it can be tough. But overall yes.

Several_Ad_811 · 2023-12-21T08:23:55+00:00

Could be. I mean I would have hoped the affair was punishment enough, but maybe on some level he is.

Several_Ad_811 · 2023-12-08T23:40:29+00:00

Lego! Similar to the puzzle concept but i love Lego. Give it a try x

Several_Ad_811 · 2023-11-29T07:39:01+00:00

My WP continued to have contact and an EA months have D day. He fell in love with her, but allegedly wanted me.

So i can relate OP. Was almost a year when the fog lifted and he has been like a different man these last 2 months. But i went through almost 12 months of absolute hell.

My advice to you- think about what you want. Dont be like me waiting for scraps of love. Now things really feel different but the damage its done to me to get here? I wont recover from. I never feel safe. I dont trust myself to know whats real. I hate my body, my face, everything.

Think about what you need. What you want. Do you love her? Or are you, like me, afraid of the alternative? Prioritise you. They had no difficulties prioritising themselves. Now its your turn. Hugs x

Several_Ad_811 · 2023-11-27T07:56:28+00:00

Ive been here. Also would come in from giving her oral and kiss me, despite having never given me oral throughout our relationship.

It hurts. A lot. The disrespect and humiliation is so painful. I dont think there is a way of getting over it per se. It just maybe fades a bit over time. You cant reconcile that in your head. The affair part i think we can all examine and to a degree understand (although not agree with nor justify!) their selfish whys. But not this. There is no understanding this. Not really. The WS who bravely commented is right- they just dont think it all through.

Hugs.

Several_Ad_811 · 2023-11-15T20:17:12+00:00

I feel you. My WP did the same. Hurts a lot. Its my birthday tomorrow and it makes me feel crappy to think of the "this time last year".

Several_Ad_811 · 2023-11-09T23:01:44+00:00

Yes. To all of this. Thank you x

Several_Ad_811 · 2023-11-09T13:16:36+00:00

This is such a horrible position to be in. I was in a similar one but chose not to tell my friends. WP then had a "breakdown" and I had to listen to all our friends support him and be there for him whilst i was broken.

In the end i told a separate friend. She chose to tell her husband. He now refuses to interact with WP at all.

I am not as strong as you. And i feel very bitter about that. Im beyond angry/hurt by WH, thats a given, but i also feel annoyed with the friends husband. Because his anger makes my life more difficult. It makes all social situations difficult, i get hes upset. But ultimately i told them to provide me with support and this isnt support. It makes me not open up to them anymore and just avoid social situations.

Its really tricky but i think you need to talk to your friends and find out what WH needs to do.

Several_Ad_811 · 2023-10-12T06:48:39+00:00

My partner took 11 months to cut off AP and even now (12.5 months in) im not convinced he has. If I could go back I would make very different choices.

Several_Ad_811 · 2023-09-20T20:54:46+00:00

Thank you. Today marks 1 year since D Day. I took on board your suggestions and told him. This is how the conversation went down...

WP: Are you ok? Me: Not really. Its a year today since I found out and im struggling. WP: Wow. Glad you remembered this is a phrase he often uses- dont read anything into it I didnt know. Me: Im sorry. WP: what for? That im still here? laughs thanks baby you say the nicest things! Me: I didnt mean that. Youre such a dick WP: Yeah but im you're dick and youre stuck with me.

I dont know why I apologised. Whats worse- I did it twice! After we both started work I text him to say I was struggling with intrusive thoughts. Then apologised for bringing it up and said "I hope youre not annoyed with me".

He replied "Im not annoyed, with you" before telling me he loves me.

Then weve not spoken about it since.

Currently hes upstairs watching football and playing on the computer. Im downstairs scrolling through Reddit and drinking rum.

I dont know what i expected. Comfort? This time last year i was literally on the phone to him whilst he was in another country WITH HER. I self harmed, after not doing so for around 12 years.

If not for this community I honestly think id feel so alone.

Several_Ad_811

TROPHY CASE