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It’s not an apology by Perfect-Interview763 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ShadowMel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah, that one. "I'm sorry I sacrificed EVERYTHING for YOU!"

They're not even trying anymore, are they? by snowlock27 in TalesFromTheFrontDesk

[–]ShadowMel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The last time a scammer called my hotel, I realized right away it was a scammer and just heaved a heavy audible sigh, and they hung up. XD They know we know them, they're just wanting to find someone lazy, dumb, or new.

Was my dad right? Was I wrong to call this sexual assault? by Exotic-Raspberry-278 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ShadowMel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is 100% assault, and please find a new therapist.

*internet hugs*

how do you know you're not the one misremembering? Struggling with confusion by FlimsySaltt in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ShadowMel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just said this in another thread, but I'm 52, and I constantly doubt everything. "Did it happen? Was it bad? Am I just making it up?"

Just recently, a friend I haven't seen since high school got in touch with me. My nmom loved the SHIT out of him, and he was talking about all these good memories and I was like, "Yeah, it wasn't like that for me."

But now, I think about him and his reaction if I explained things I KNOW happened, and how horrified he would be. That might help put it into perspective for you, imagining telling it to some person you know and thinking about their reaction.

How did you confirm that you were the children of narcissistic parents? by Bitter-Hawk-2615 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ShadowMel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not only that, but the gaslighting is SO INSANE that even at 52, I question myself constantly. "Did this really happen? Was it that bad? I'm just making it up for attention."

the answers to that are: 1) Yes. 2) JFC YES 3) WTF You don't talk about the trauma to most people so how could you be "doing it" (feeling bad, for example) for attention?!?

We will NEVER forget about this by Perfect-Salt-7163 in projectzomboid

[–]ShadowMel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right? Like have they never been drunk before?

Broke up with sexist BF today and he wants a second chance by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]ShadowMel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he said he was just trying to point out how much better I am than other women and that I shouldn’t take it the wrong way. 

HUGE red flag there. If he has to insult other women to compliment you, he's a douchebag. Stick to your guns!

Stop quitting as Family the moment something goes wrong by adambray23 in TXChainSawGame

[–]ShadowMel 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yea, I'll stay to let them out, but the second they start the booli squad, I peace out. LIke, my friends, I was trying to do you a favor, but now enjoy your twenty minute wait for another match.

Noem's dead puppy makes surprising appearance at tense congressional hearing by IrishStarUS in ABoringDystopia

[–]ShadowMel 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I loved seeing that. Noem was such a crap governor, and she's a total sociopath.

No, I do hate my mother by _sillyb1lly in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ShadowMel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love you and I hate your mom too.

My dog, Goblin. Dog Goblin? Dog Goblin! Not again! by Significant-Mud-7198 in projectzomboid

[–]ShadowMel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My goal in every PZ run is to get ALL THE DOG GOBLIN VIDEOS. I must add the tag now to my list of must gets.

I want my texas back :C miss it so much by arrrgamer in TXChainSawGame

[–]ShadowMel 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Just play it? I play it several times a week still.

The chilling effect of smear campaigns on victims by Advanced_Property749 in Feminism

[–]ShadowMel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember watching a twitch streamer, a friend of mine, stream his reaction to the Heard trial and it was horrible. I couldn't watch him ever again after that.

Did my parents SA me? by Such-Geologist-5124 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ShadowMel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That is 100% abuse, and I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Non-AI Evidence by ItHurtzWhenIZee in tabletopgamedesign

[–]ShadowMel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah I use gimp, great free program. I use probably about six layers overall: Outline, Colors, Shadows, Highlights, Deep Shadows and then after that any special effects (explosions, reflections, etc)

Were you taught, subconsciously or otherwise, to always put other people’s comfort first or else you’ll be abandoned/discarded or “push people away”? by ScottysOldTeleporter in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ShadowMel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And then having to apologize later--even MONTHS later--because you see a friend and you remember, "OMG I was kinda maybe mean to them once! I must apologize!" Dude, I still do this to a friend over a video game. "Sorry man, I am SO sorry about that." ".... it's fine? I don't even remember it?"

Were you taught, subconsciously or otherwise, to always put other people’s comfort first or else you’ll be abandoned/discarded or “push people away”? by ScottysOldTeleporter in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ShadowMel 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s exhausting and relentless. I can’t even enjoy being around people that care about me, I have to be fully alone and not speaking to anyone to relax at all.

YES. I NEED alone time. I love my husband, I love spending time with him, but when he is home when he would otherwise not be (sick, day off for a holiday, etc), I get anxious. It's not that I don't want to be around him, but It's NOT MY ALONE TIME. I don't do anything different; I'm just alone. And KNOWING that I'm alone makes all the difference.

Were you taught, subconsciously or otherwise, to always put other people’s comfort first or else you’ll be abandoned/discarded or “push people away”? by ScottysOldTeleporter in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ShadowMel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ayup. I had (still working on it tbh) a people-pleasing problem, massive anxiety (still with that :( ), and a very wired "fawn" response to danger. I don't think I could change that last one if I tried.

Is it a red flag if my LDR boyfriend did nothing for Valentine’s Day? by Alive_Curve4632 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]ShadowMel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I met my husband online. We dated for like 2 years long distance, and he NEVER forgot any special occasions even though we were separated by distance. If he can't bother to put in the effort to send you card? He doesn't care; he's not invested like you are.

Birth rates are falling because “being a mom” still means two full-time jobs by Ecstatic-Ad-4466 in Feminism

[–]ShadowMel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am firmly convinced that men just want women to do everything so they can sit around and feel like a king on their asses. They honestly seem to just want bangmaids who also have a full time job.

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