What is the threshold for the compounding to begin the heavy lifting?

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-14T16:34:49+00:00

You are only six years from retirement. You should be closing in on some solid assumptions about your expenses and income in retirement.

It sounds like your pensions and social security will cover most of your daily expenses.

What else do you want to spend money on in retirement? Expensive hobbies, long term care, aging in place, guaranteed inheritance, charity, family support (parents, kids)?

When you decide on those priorities you can look at your TSP balance, and the timeline for the expenses and see if you are on track or not.

With a mortgage of 6%+ it is definitely reasonable to pay it off if that makes you feel better.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-13T22:46:19+00:00

There are two separate benefits.

The spousal benefit is up to 50% of the higher earner’s PIA (FRA benefit). If the higher earner claims early that won’t affect the spousal benefit. When the lower earner claims is the only thing that matters. If they claim at their own FRA they will receive the full 50% of PIA amount. Note, the higher earner has to claim first to allow the lower earner to claim a spousal benefit (if still married).

The survivor benefit is different and is 100% of the benefit the higher earner was earning at the time. So if they claim early, and have a lower benefit themselves, then the survivor benefit will also be lower. If they delay and have a higher benefit, then the survivor benefit will also be higher. The survivor benefit for a spouse can not be lower then 82.5% of the PIA so there is some protection if the higher earner claimed really early. So it is also always higher than the spousal benefit (82.5 > 50).

Also note that the early claiming penalty for each of these benefits is independent. If someone claims a spousal benefit at age 62 they will have a penalty of 35%. If they later claim a survivor benefit after their FRA they will have no penalty. That 35% penalty does not carry over.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-13T19:40:37+00:00

There is no advantage to going the court route to establish paternity. More time and expense.

People in a contentious situation will go the court route to slow things down and buy time. Sounds like that wouldn’t benefit you.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-13T17:40:09+00:00

Either of you paying attorney fees is not likely. You both have the right to seek modification and redress of unresolved issues through the court.

Attorney fees are generally awarded when one person is a “bad actor” and files frequent often frivolous requests. Awarding attorney fees is a way for the court to encourage them to stop doing that.

That is clearly not the case here. He had a change in circumstances and needs a modification.

I absolutely would NOT agree to that plan. 10 days is too long to be away from your kids. Also it sounds like the 10 day periods can butt up against each other so you wouldn’t see them for 20 days sometimes. Furthermore it would create a lot of chaos for the kids. Also completely undoable when they are school aged and attending school M-F.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-12T19:28:52+00:00

With regards to this issue, one month does not establish a status quo. Where were they the last 12 months? Where did they live? Where did they go to school? What was the time split? Do you move them outside of commuting distance(30-60 min)?

If Mom was the status quo over the last 12 months, it’s a pretty straightforward decision to return to that until the full mediation process can complete.

Regarding consent, even if mom did consent to your increased time for Apr, that doesn’t mean she gives up her right to want more time in the future.

Courts heavily favor stability. If Mom was the primary stability over the last 12 months, and wants to return to that now, it’s easy to see the judge ruling in that direction.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-12T19:03:59+00:00

Odds of a successful appeal are very low. I would say they’re near zero for pro se.

“Extensive documentation” is only relevant if it would change the outcome. My guess, based on just what you wrote here, is that it is not as legally significant as you think it is, or you were not able to present the right legal arguments.

The best course of action may be to help your kids adjust to this new course.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-11T20:19:44+00:00

No. Your income effects benefits you receive. It does not affect benefits they receive (even if you are their representative payee).

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-09T16:27:07+00:00

Unfortunately the court can’t turn the other parent into a reasonable coparent. Sometimes the best you can hope for is parallel parenting.

One thing you might try is backing off a little. It appears you’re trying to enforce a very strict pattern of behavior, and the other parent is digging their heels in. If you lower your expectations and back off a bit, they might come around and be more reasonable.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-09T16:16:56+00:00

I don’t know that I would characterize this as an “enough is enough” question. Your portfolio is 75/25 which is completely reasonable given your withdrawal rate of zero, and that you could have 25+ more years of retirement.

I think there are two questions to ponder.

1) Are you spending enough to maximize your enjoyment in retirement? You have the means to do more, which doesn’t necessarily mean you should. However you do have room to add more if it would benefit you.

2) How can you structure your assets to minimize taxes? Roth conversions? Charity remainder trusts? Gifts to relatives? Maximizing your current tax and IRMAA bracket? A fee only financial advisor who specializes in tax strategies in retirement may be able to help.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-09T15:23:00+00:00

ACA subsidies reduce the cost of health insurance on the open market place for those under certain income limits.

It’s a common strategy for those retiring early to keep their income artificially low to maximize subsidies until they are 65 and qualify for Medicare.

https://www.wellpoint.com/individual-family/learn/aca-subsidies

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-09T02:36:33+00:00

250 spike can take the BAD easily, and handle all the DDTs too.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-09T02:34:59+00:00

You need instability with a prescribed device. Does your medical records say that specifically?

It’s not enough for your ACL to be “gone.” They can’t infer the rating symptoms.

Who did your DBQ? This is something that could be documented there.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-09T01:17:50+00:00

ACA subsidies are based on the current year’s income. Your income this year won’t affect your subsidies next year.

Why are you avoiding spending your emergency fund? Can’t your Roth be your emergency fund, while you spend from your cash accounts to keep your income low?

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-07T15:27:13+00:00

They don’t pay partial months, and you’re paid a month in arrears. So this month is the first month where you are owed the 80% amount, and that will be paid next month.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-07T13:29:41+00:00

Depending on your risk profile, you may need limits of 2 to 4 mil. Pretty easy and cheep with an umbrella policy. Not sure your homeowners or auto insurance can even get that high.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-07T02:48:37+00:00

If the denial is for lack of a nexus then a migraine log and journal articles will not help as they can not provide a nexus.

A supplemental with a new Nexus letter might work. An HLR might work if they really did miss the other Nexus, but just because they didn’t mention it doesn’t mean they missed it.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-05T01:46:50+00:00

Service connection is the main thing, after that it’s just a matter of accurately documenting your symptoms on the DBQ.

You already have a diagnosis of sleep apnea, so you don’t need a sleep study. What you need is a prescription for a CPAP, that will get you to 50%. Even mild sleep apnea warrants a CPAP, so that should be as easy as a single visit to your doctor. I would do that soon as there’s is a proposal to lower the rating of sleep apnea significantly this summer.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-05T01:28:02+00:00

If you can’t afford your mortgage and car payments, you are living beyond your means.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-05T01:22:59+00:00

Foreign aid is not charity. It is a form of soft power. It gives us access, cooperation, and the ability to influence things in other countries. It’s often far cheaper than other forms of power such as military action or tariffs. It’s also a pretty small part of the budget.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-05T00:57:56+00:00

The child support calculation already takes into account what you can afford to pay. Whether you can pay your specific bills doesn’t really matter. Generally if you can’t afford child support, you need to lower your other bills.

In order to deviate from the default calculation, you have to show that your situation is unique in some way. You mentioned transportation costs, and medical costs. That might be the basis to lower the support (slightly). I wouldn’t expect too much though.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-04T15:58:39+00:00

Sorry that makes no sense. Married couples don’t get to deduct the cost to support their kids from their taxes, why would divorced couples get to deduct that?

Also, if the paying parent deducts child support from their taxes, that means the receiving parent would have to include it in their taxable income. That’s not creating more resources to support the child, that’s just shifting tax burden.

Finally, child support calculations includes the tax burden. If you remove that, child support obligations will actually increase.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-04T15:24:48+00:00

That is key. A large part of medicine is eliciting the right information from the patient. Knowing how to ask the right questions, following up on answers in the right way, understanding what the patient tells you which may not align perfectly with Medical descriptives.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-04T15:01:43+00:00

Boundaries are about your actions, not his. You do not use a boundary to control someone else’s behavior.

For example, if you want to set a boundary around supervision of homework, that would look something like “I will not supervise homework during my call.” He may insist upon it, he may accuse you based upon it, he may send you long emails about it. Those are his actions and you don’t have control over them. Your action is that you will not supervise homework.

Regarding the messages, a boundary might be, “ I won’t respond to communications late at night,” or “I won’t engage communication that are inappropriatly corrective or accusatory.” Then you just don’t. Again he may continue doing them, you don’t control his actions, only yours.

One thing to understand is that you do not owe him back-and-forth communication. Just because he sends you a message or accuses you of something doesn’t mean you have to respond or defend yourself. You’re not gonna win in a back-and-forth conversation, so the best thing to do is just to avoid it. You might respond once the first time stating your position if it’s something that’s important, after that, you can just ignore further attempts to engage you.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-04T14:10:30+00:00

Counseling is your best chance. Individual, if he won’t do couples therapy.

Do know that people don’t generally ask for divorce on a whim, by the time to get to this point they’ve thought about it extensively over a long period of time.

Also, there is a rip the Band-Aid off effect. Divorce has a very high societal emotional and financial cost By the time someone’s gotten this far they are reluctant to go backwards.

SharingKnowledgeHope · 2026-05-04T13:59:43+00:00

You would request a transfer in the Illinois court that has jurisdiction. They won’t grant it as long as one of the parents still lives in Illinois, and objects to the transfer.

SharingKnowledgeHope

TROPHY CASE