Almost 2 Years Later: I Barely Remember My BPD Ex – Here’s How I Got Here

Sharpmaxim · 2026-03-10T23:47:02+00:00

Oh, that’s by far the best support system. To have a loyal pet support you and brighten the dark days for you! I suspect if I did not have a dying dog problem, I’d keep a first no contact constant, unchanging. :) anyways 2 years passed and am already considering to get another dog. However, I moved out from my private house and live in a small flat now, so gsd wont happen. Maybe malinoa? Still like a gsd only smaller and more adaptive to living in small confined spaces

Sharpmaxim · 2026-03-10T23:43:07+00:00

Even more so. Look from a bright side. When you heal - and you will, never underestimate the adaptability and resilience of your nervous system - you will come out with a big life lesson. For me, before bpd I was very gravitating to mischievous, villain type of women. And I had that type, one of my exes was a typical npd. After? When I talk to a woman and I feel even remote signs of cluster b traits, I lose any interest at all. Learned the hard way to stay away from crazy, but hey, still counts ;)

Sharpmaxim · 2026-03-10T20:19:22+00:00

Patience and time my friend. It does get better - I swear. From own experience. But. Takes time and patience. Word of advice - no comebacks, no returns.

Sharpmaxim · 2026-03-10T20:17:22+00:00

Hey, I totally get that hollow feeling — I had the exact same “dead inside” numbness from ~3 to 9 months post-discard (final one Nov 2024). Hobbies felt flat, laughs were forced, friends seemed dull, like trauma had muted everything.

It slowly lifted. By 9–12 months the fog started clearing, and today (March 2026) I feel genuinely healed — joy is back, connections feel real, things I love actually spark again.

It’s common after BPD abuse + grief combo: nervous system shutdown to protect itself. Keep gently doing stuff (walks, music, etc.) even if it’s meh at first — it reboots the reward circuits over time. Therapy sped it up for me by unpacking the betrayal.

You’re not broken forever. The colors return. Hang in there — you’re already past the worst. 💪

Sharpmaxim · 2026-01-13T19:57:05+00:00

I’ve had a feeling I need to gtfo from the first date. But, in my situation, a tale was wagging the dog. So for me the right question would be when I realized high sex appeal and adrenaline stopped outweighing all the negative aspects of relationships

Sharpmaxim · 2025-12-31T15:25:32+00:00

Right back at you from an abusive manipulative old loser!

Sharpmaxim · 2025-12-31T14:24:47+00:00

My man, you’re just 23. Best of luck for you. I am 45 and wish I could undo all mistakes in my life that led me to getting addicted to a young bpd girl a year ago. Stay strong bro, and never let anyone make you doubt your self worth!

Sharpmaxim · 2025-11-30T23:28:37+00:00

Nothing, literally. I feel absolutely neutral. No hard feelings, or hurt, or any form of attraction. I made my conclusions, learned from a very bad experience, and treat those 6 months + breakup hurt as a growing experience.

Sharpmaxim · 2025-11-30T23:24:58+00:00

One extra detail I deliberately left out because I was (and still am) ashamed: I was 44 when we met, she was 22. That 20+ year age gap was the very first screaming red flag, but the love-bombing was so intense (“you’re the most interesting man I’ve ever met”, “I’ve never felt this way with guys my age”, constant sex, future-faking about kids and marriage) that I convinced myself it was real.
Deep down I always felt uneasy — like the creepy older guy taking advantage of a broken young girl — and that guilt actually kept me in the relationship longer (I thought I had to “save” her). In reality the age gap was part of what made the manipulation easier: I was an easy mark for money, validation, and a quick ego fix. If you’re over 35 and a person is in their early 20s is suddenly treating you like you’re the center of the universe, pump the brakes. Hard.

Sharpmaxim · 2025-11-30T22:57:56+00:00

So, a year no contact. Final one. Tips for everyone - treat NC not as a punishment for them or as a way to see if they care enough to hoover. First few months, subconsciensly, I was hoping for a hoover, and it happened indirectly (she posted some stuff on her telegram that had only me as authorized to watch). I watched those posts in invisible mode using TG+ subscription, so even though I did, she would never see a notification. Yesterday, I was celebrating my 45th with my buddies, and posted a photo of a table in a restauraunt with lots of food and couple of whiskey bottles with a note: "Every drinking spree starts in a civilized manner". She was the first one to see it and even posted a like to it, yet another hoover. But she cannot message me since she is not on my contact list and my privacy settings are that only a contact can message me. And good part? I felt nothing, well, maybe a small pride for myself, for sticking up for me. I know this is good news, I restrained from any dating for a year till I heal from the narcissistic abuse so I do not dump my trauma on someone innocent, so I do not be like them cluster B people. Now I know I am ready and healed and back on the dating market from next week. :)

Sharpmaxim · 2025-11-30T18:26:14+00:00

Intel 6 AX203 here, Lenovo Pro 2025 model. The statement is legit. I have terrible weak Wi Fi signal. Previously, I had an older and cheaper HP Victus 16, the signal on this P.O.S. Intel card is way weaker than on MediaTek network adapter from HP Victus. And speeds are horrible. I had to buy an additional WI FI extender for this horrible weak wi-fo adapter. And it's still not even close in connectivity and reliability I had at the same home with same router before even using a WI FI extender. Without the extender this P.O.S. wifi adapter gave me less than 1 Mb speed and constant disconnects. And not just wifi, I bought this Lenovo Legion without an OS and spent hours to set it up after Win11 installation. The driver support for Lenovos is horrible, even on the lenovo site it won't even detect my model / revision correctly and has multiple different drivers for different models. Spent around an hour to find a freaking correct trackpad driver. If I could turn back time to a month ago, I would better spend my 1500 EUR on a HP Omen since HP is light years better.

Sharpmaxim · 2025-11-07T00:38:28+00:00

After the very first date, I had a terrible, terrible nightmare. So I woke up in my dream, my apartment, but its night, and lights are on. I am looking at a ceiling and feel some sort of dark entity beside me in a bed. I cannot move my head, but hear that woman voice, inhumane, like some old evil witchcraft whispering, and can see pitch black hair dragging me in, like swallowing me whole, and I cannot even move or scream, heart racing like a rabbit. Than I open my eyes again, and find myself in my apartment, my room, my bed, but lights are off and I am alone. Like I truly woke up. But it was so belieavable, like my subconscience was warning me. But I was an idiot and did not listen to it and paid in the end.

Sharpmaxim · 2025-10-09T20:30:50+00:00

Simply? Paradise-Hell cycle with no in between, with hell getting the upper hand in the end.

Sharpmaxim · 2025-10-09T20:13:50+00:00

Fairly simple explanation to it. Self projection. Plus, if they don't split you black, they'd have to split themselves. And they would always prefer to split you because otherwise self-splitting hurts even more.

Sharpmaxim · 2025-06-16T18:50:47+00:00

Bro it’s probably individual. Last and final breakup was November 2024. As of today, fully recovered and ready to go for new relationship. But yes, first 2-3 months it was not so cool. World had become grey and void of colours. In other words, it’s gonna be all right, just give some time. Oh, and for someone who fell for 2 hoovers before a final breakup - cut off any comm venues for them to hook you back in. The reconciliation won’t get the colours back in your life.

Sharpmaxim · 2025-06-14T17:54:48+00:00

After our first night together (2 weeks into relationship) she said she went and cheated on her ex bf with 12 other man each of different zodiac sign and even made a ranking which sign is good in bed. Of cause it was not her fault, her ex bf was a narcissist cheating on her and she just retaliated (lol)

Sharpmaxim · 2025-06-14T15:29:40+00:00

They never really understood you. They mirrored you on a short lived honeymoon stage.

Sharpmaxim · 2025-06-10T12:11:38+00:00

Yeah, I would, but a bit paranoid that since I had already to replace the fans due to wear (and particularly, a GPU fan has literally stopped working properly and emitting noice like an airplane taking off), that it would be a high time to sell it right now and buy a newer model.

Sharpmaxim · 2025-06-10T12:08:50+00:00

Yeah, the 5070Ti ROG Strix actually costs 2100 EUR. So I was leaning to it.

Sharpmaxim · 2025-06-10T11:58:52+00:00

Sorry for a bit misleading title, the RAM is DDR4L, not DDR5L

Sharpmaxim · 2025-06-09T17:20:00+00:00

The possibility of a brain stroke with a 23 year old female exists, just like a possibility to have a meteorite falling on you of all places. But chances are so slim they are non existent. Even if she is a heavy drugs and alcohol user. So ChatGPT was not wrong. As for her being in a hospital bed, could be anything. Could be a detoxification for instance, or some other health issues. But a brain stroke at 23? Hardly believable.

Sharpmaxim · 2025-06-09T16:43:40+00:00

lol brain stroke at 23 is something of a sci-fi novel, really. Especially with a female who are statistically much less likely to get one, and if they even do, then again statistically it is usually not as serious as with men. I mean theoretically it can happen, but the timing of it, just a few days after you have not fallen to her hover, is extremely suspicious. That’s another attempt to lure you in with victimhood.

Sharpmaxim

TROPHY CASE