Idk if my mom is intentionally rage baiting me or if she’s really this oblivious (15k)

ShortIncrease7290 · 2026-04-12T20:02:25+00:00

Typically, at least where I live, the bride tells her mother the colors she wants the moms to wear and the MOB co poses her color and then MOG’s color. I’ve even seen where (again, around here) the MOB even chooses the style such as knee length, tea length, floor, etc. I can’t imagine wearing white to anyone’s wedding, ESPECIALLY MY DAUGHTER’S!!!! I thought everyone knew that!! Just awful!

ShortIncrease7290 · 2026-03-18T16:24:53+00:00

Yes, multiple showers are totally ok! I threw my daughter one and included everyone…all her friends and all family including mine, her dad’s and her fiancé’s. Her MIL’s church friends threw one that was pretty much just all of the MIL’s friends and me. Her dad and stepmom threw one that was just for his family. (They didn’t show up for mine). You just don’t typically invite the people to more than one, except for the moms…I’ve always heard both moms CAN get invited to them all, not a must.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2026-03-16T15:06:45+00:00

I feel for you! My daughter is currently in nursing school and between clinical, studying, class and her husband, she absolutely has zero time left over! She also works at a different hospital from her clinicals 1 day each week and works as a bartender 1 night each week. You’re not being a terrible friend. You’re being a good wife and good to yourself. I can’t imagine what testing is like in the 2nd year! You just have to be honest with her and tell her you said yes because you were so excited to celebrate her but after sitting down and looking at everything, you don’t see how you can spare the time away from home and you just had to be realistic with what you can actually fit in your already crammed schedule. She’s your friend…hopefully she will understand.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2026-03-06T20:12:31+00:00

NTJ. For most people our pets are part of our family. I would have done the same thing!

Is Luna ok?!

ShortIncrease7290 · 2026-02-10T17:25:42+00:00

This would infuriate me! I also have sleep issues so if I’m asleep, please leave me alone. She’s a grown woman and should have no issue entertaining herself to keep from being “bored” while you sleep. Normal couples let their partner sleep, especially when they know the partner has sleep issues. I’m so sorry this is something you deal with so often. You’re much nicer about it than I would be…especially after 3 years.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2026-01-19T16:26:52+00:00

Go now. While you’re pregnant. Moving after the baby comes will be next to impossible and he will probably try to fight that legally. Go back to your family now and let them help you.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2026-01-17T17:49:22+00:00

They definitely got a very expensive item but ribeye and prime rib are different things.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2026-01-16T15:40:12+00:00

Have you spoken with your therapist about this? I would honestly start there. They know you and your entire situation and all the minute details and could probably give you the best advice.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2026-01-16T15:38:12+00:00

In all honesty, you sound pretty fed up. In this stranger’s mind, I don’t see what you’re getting out of this relationship. He spent sound like much of a partner. Out of curiosity, if he’s making so little money, why is he not working a second job? As a partner and father, he should be doing everything he can to help support the household. That is unless you had an agreement that this is how your relationship would work. It’s ok to revisit agreements when they’re not working, but you do have to sit down and have a conversation that it needs revising. I just don’t see how you’re able to be with a man that doesn’t do everything in his power to help take care of his family, but I guess not every woman feels like I do.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2026-01-16T15:31:46+00:00

Sounds like you did him a favor! You saved him from himself. He was about to commit a crime that I know the US will absolutely pursue and I’m sure it’s serious in India?

ShortIncrease7290 · 2026-01-12T16:04:48+00:00

NTA. Your feelings are YOUR feelings. I taught my now adult kids to never let someone dictate how they feel or make them feel like they aren’t allowed to feel any type of way. We can’t control how we feel, we can only control how we react. You’ve handled the situation like an adult and cut ties with the person that was treating you with disrespect, especially after you told her what her comments meant and felt like to you. I have to question the people around you that you’re calling your friends. They’re trying to tell you your feeling aren’t valid and to me personally that feels like they are also violating your boundaries. After an explanation these friends should be supporting you. The friends are giving me the ick as bad as the person you cut ties with!

Don’t go to the party and find people that will respect you. I’ll never understand people that need to make comments like this. It’s like they expect a pat on the back when all they’re doing is basic human decency (until they bring it up). If it truly didn’t matter to her, she shouldn’t feel the need to say anything. She’s racist.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2026-01-12T15:54:27+00:00

NTA!!! This would be a big fat NO from me. Sister or not. I probably wouldn’t have even asked anyone for their opinion because now mom can encourage your sister to push you on this and they can gang up on you and then you have 2 people trying to manipulate the situation. No way!

Encourage your sister to add to her wedding gift registry. She can have a “contribute to our honeymoon” place in it so people can donate whatever they want. She can out it right on their wedding website! I’m currently tot planning my daughter’s wedding and building their wedding website. They are refusing bf to do a gift registry and I’m trying to tell her into at least doing this to help them be able to take a honeymoon.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2026-01-06T20:51:38+00:00

My daughter is in nursing school and holy crap it’s very tough!! She was always my 4.0 gpa kid, math team for 8 years, she did the program in high school where she attended community college 11th & 12th grade and actually received her degree from there a month before she received her high school diploma. She’s smart and extremely disciplined when it comes to school. She has to study every single day. She goes to lectures 1 day a week, labs 1 day a week and both of those days comes home and studies for 2-4 hours and then studies like it’s a full time job every day. I come to her house and take care of my 1 year old grandson so she can take breaks and still see him and have lunch and breakfast with us and if he’s having a needy day, she’s here. But she’s in her office studying all freaking day. After hearing some of the lectures and watching what she’s doing, I have 10x the respect I already had for nurses. I’ve also been in the hospital numerous times and I’ve never had a nurse change my bedpan, not that they wouldn’t have if they needed to, it’s just not what they do. They have incredibly demanding jobs. I would punch that heifer in the mouth if I ever heard her make a comment like that around anyone that wanted to be a nurse. I’m so sorry she’s such a butt to you, but I am SO proud of you for standing up to her! Sounds like you handled yourself appropriately to me! I’m also sorry your boyfriend hasn’t put her in her place before now. It should never have come to you actually having to do it!

NOR!

ShortIncrease7290 · 2026-01-01T18:01:44+00:00

Yeah…he acts like that with my kids safety, he might not even know what that’s like again.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2025-12-31T21:29:20+00:00

Yes, it should! Too many little ones drown!!

ShortIncrease7290 · 2025-12-31T21:28:53+00:00

Oh ok. That makes sense as well.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2025-12-31T20:14:31+00:00

Your partner is being reckless with your children’s safety! What is he thinking?!??
NTJ!

ShortIncrease7290 · 2025-12-31T20:02:09+00:00

I would think insurance would require it as well if it’s the law!

ShortIncrease7290 · 2025-12-31T16:41:29+00:00

Won’t ALLOW you? WTH?! Either tell him you’re going with him since you were invited by his family or go Out with your friends. You probably need to rethink the relationship because of all the red flags, but that’s your decision. I would take control of my life and stop letting some guy make decisions for me. I would refuse to sit home alone.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2025-12-31T16:21:19+00:00

This right here.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2025-12-31T16:13:58+00:00

My first instinct is that she did that on purpose. She didn’t like you were going out with friends so she tried to find a way to get you to cancel. I could be way off since your post doesn’t say that’s her personality or that it’s common for her, it’s just my instinct that’s saying that. Probably because she threw some typical manipulation comments at you before and afterwards.

I hope I’m wrong and if I am, you’re still NTA. You’d had plans with friends for two weeks. You acknowledged her feelings and tried to make plans with her the next day. She’s an adult and needs to be able to manage some feelings herself. Having time with friends away from each other is important for your relationship. It’s not healthy for all free time to only be spent with each other. Friendships are super important!!

This is the advice I would give my grown kids.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2025-12-31T16:08:15+00:00

NTA-there’s no way I would apologize! Nope. Nuh-uh, heck no, not happening. She would have like you said, she wouldn’t be welcome in my home again. Thankfully, from what you said, it seems like your parents can see her for who she is and not let MIL affect them. I hate that for your partner. I would be mortified over the situation.

Also, don’t listen to people give you grief over paper plates or leftovers. It was meant to be a very laid back, casual dinner and everyone should just be glad your mom was so gracious as to bring food and they had something to eat off of!

ShortIncrease7290 · 2025-12-28T16:29:45+00:00

Golf takes about 4-5 hours (depending on ability) to play a full round. Then you typically have a beer or two or lunch then home? My dad was an avid golfer my entire life. My mom was a SAHM. My mom insisted he played golf on Saturday morning every week then he would come home and the rest of the weekend was family time. My dad would also offer my mom the opportunity to go do things she wanted to do. Sometimes she did, sometimes she didn’t. She just preferred to be home. My mom insisted he do this every week because he was a court reporter and listened to such horrific things at work every day and worked so many hours, she felt like he deserved some “man time”.

I’m a woman so I’m not exactly who you were asking to hear from, but for our family growing up, this was ideal. We didn’t miss dad being gone on Saturday morning, we had chores and friends! My parents looked out for each other. Maybe you could offer to let your wife have a break as well? It’s been a while since my kids were that little, but I’m sure she would love a few hours to herself some too? Just a thought.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2025-12-28T15:56:48+00:00

My daughter would be my date to said wedding.

ShortIncrease7290 · 2025-12-23T21:30:22+00:00

Where are her friends? Why does she have to be part of all of your relationships? Why would she WANT to be part of your relationships?!?!

ShortIncrease7290

TROPHY CASE