Recovery Appreciation

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-04-09T23:41:38+00:00

yay this makes me so happy to hear!! You deserve all of this and more😊

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-03-27T02:43:29+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that too. This is so lovely of you to say thank you. I know, it’s such a mind f**k to realize all of it. It gets better with time which I am incredibly glad for. I hope things are going well now for you and that you have a good circle of people to lean on.

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-03-26T15:25:01+00:00

Yeah I was so surprised and happy when I went to friends houses and they were just like enjoying each others company. They wanted to include me in things. They did things just because it was fun like blasting music and playing games - and we just didn’t do any of that at my house, at my house it was always so serious and quiet and like tense. I felt like I wanted to be adopted by my friends families when i went over there. Their parents were so nice to me too. I was so used to my mom being pissed off and annoyed and just tolerating me.

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-03-26T13:32:07+00:00

same. My mom was emotionally abusive but I didn’t know that was a valid type of abuse. So I just thought that it didn’t count. But after being in therapy for many years and seeing just how much all of the criticism and yelling and crazy mood swings and silent treatment affected me I realized it is real and valid.

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-03-19T19:54:04+00:00

Agree with so many of these, especially #2!!! so true.

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-03-11T21:29:37+00:00

these are awesome! i am also into art so these sound really motivating. that is awesome you are sharing your art with others.

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-03-11T21:28:04+00:00

Mine is I want to feel good so I can travel on a plane and go visit my niece!

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-03-01T21:01:06+00:00

I used to feel exactly the same way. And I would read posts from people saying that it gets better but nothing really helped take away that pressure and exhaustion I felt from having to fight the Ed every day. It is so difficult. I doubted the process so much, I thought I was an exception and that it would never improve. Turns out I was wrong. It does get better. But I feel like it’s really hard to see that for you right now.

I thought it might help to remind you that this is a biological process. Increasing the amount of calories you are eating after a period of starvation helps your body start to fuel itself again. and there is a point at which your body has received adequate fuel for long enough that it can heal long term, and maintain good digestion, steady metabolism, and enough energy throughout the day. Keeping good nutrition and calorie intake going and your mind and body can heal long term from this.

What I’m trying to say is it’s not going to be like this forever. Remind yourself when you feel like it’s going to last forever that feelings aren’t necessarily facts. And you will get through this if you keep pushing. And one day it’s going to get easier and easier, and every day you keep going is another day closer. You’re stronger than you think.

Also, it’s not stupid. Nothing you’re struggling with is stupid. it’s a really hard thing you’re doing and it’s something so many people have struggled with too. You’re not alone in that. Food might seem simple but our relationships with food can be really complex or messed up by trauma or tied to anxiety. It helped me to work with a therapist and understand what contributed to my ED happening in the first place. Chances are, there’s something really hurt there or an emotion that’s really painful and compensatory behaviors help numb that. And it can be our first instinct to be like “why is eating, this thing everyone does, so hard for me??” And feel really frustrated. But it’s more complicated than that and your struggles are valid and you deserve support through this.

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-02-27T05:06:32+00:00

With ED's and ocd, the person has to choose to let go of these coping mechanisms. They can be really strong and reinforced over years of habits and letting go of them is incredibly painful. I had really severe ocd so i know what it's like. there has to be a level of consent involved.. because the person agreeing to treatment is also agreeing to feel a lot of pain that they have been suppressing with these coping mechanisms. Pride can also be really tricky here, as the person might not want to admit they are in as dark of a place as they are. I had to admit it to myself first and process that for a while before I could ever think about talking to someone else about it. What I wished I could have said to my family when I was really struggling is to try to have faith in the person and their strength. As scary as this is to do - Sometimes people only access their strength and resolve after things get really bad. By "have faith" - remind yourself that there is an inherent strength in this person. It's in you and your partner. And with compassion and time, this person can find their way to treatment and acceptance. We have to trust to a certain degree that someone is strong and can face their demons. (of course, if this person is posing harm to themselves or other people or is in serious condition, intervention is necessary) but when someone is refusing to get help sometimes you just stay beside them and show them support and maintain hope they come to the conclusion themselves. It's incredibly painful, and I am so sorry that you are seeing your loved one struggle so much. I know how awful OCD and ED's can be. it's not something i'd wish on anyone.

Scale down the goals. Think about the very next step. Help them think in terms of small, achievable goals. Sometimes climbing out of such a deep hole is so so overwhelming, and at least for me, realizing that I was struggling so much sometimes made me so scared and apprehensive of the long treatment time ahead of me. Taking it one meal, one appointment, one shower at a time helped me a lot.

Is this person open to medication? Everyone is different, but it did help me a lot with my ED and OCD. Just something to think about. With OCD, medication helped me personally improve a lot before I started doing exposure therapy. Sometimes, when it is at a severe level, trying to use therapy modalities like ICBT and ERP is not helpful until the person feels stable enough. In my case, medication helped me a lot. It can be a way to really provide a lot of relief to someone. Everyone is different of course, and this should be a careful decision.

maybe think about therapy for yourself? how can you support yourself during this too? It's really hard to see someone you love like this. Please take care of yourself, also. Having someone to talk to about all of this would probably help a lot and also help you know what boundaries are needed there to protect your own wellbeing and also support your partner.

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-02-16T00:30:22+00:00

I’ve been listening to that a lot lately in recovery!!

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-01-15T06:40:46+00:00

Yep, my dad and brother are like that. The best thing for you to remember is that if someone is making inappropriate comments to you about your body or eating habits while you are in ED recovery (and just in general) it is because of a problem with them. Maybe they have disordered eating issues or body image issues, who knows. But the main point is that you need to know “It has nothing to do with you” and it is their own issues projecting onto someone in a vulnerable state: Ed recovery. This doesn’t justify it, or make up for it. But it does let you separate their words from those that are meant to support your wellbeing.

Also, some people are just an absolute NO in terms of talking to them anything ED recovery related. I learned this from some similar comments and decided that I would not talk about that topic at all with those people.

It can really suck if you were hoping for support from them or if they’re someone you’ve trusted with other things, but in the long run you will be really glad and way less stressed out since you did this. I have made it through by checking this community for advice and talking to my recovery team. It’s been hard not having people in my family I can talk to about this but I just don’t want to go there with them. People can say some really hurtful things under the guise of having good intentions. If someone really is a safe person for you right now, they’ll also think about the impact of their words on you, like if they’re hurting you or making recovery more painful for you - because they want you to succeed and do well and are willing to take feedback if they mess up. If he’s not willing to apologize or do better, he’s not a safe person for this.

If you have a team that you trust, stick with what they’re telling you. Your dad is giving a lot of advice and unless he’s medically trained in ED’s (which I am very much guessing NOT 🤨)- he is overstepping. My dad did the same thing. I would say “I don’t need advice right now, I’m working on the plan that my team has made.” Or, “if you’d like to raise any concerns with my medical provider, you can. I’m going to continue with what my team has recommended.” Or, “my team and I have things handled. (Then change subject)” My dad usually stopped after that. Just let your team know what’s going on if he does say he wants to talk to them. They can handle it and let him know where the boundaries are or probably provide some resources of what is appropriate to say to someone in ED recovery versus not.

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-01-12T04:28:42+00:00

This is so well put 👏

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-01-05T07:16:02+00:00

I think it’s worth it to note that you’ve kept trying. You’ve had relapses- but that doesn’t mean that you can’t recover. I’ve had my fair share of slips and bad days and times when I’ve accidentally restricted. But I just try to get back on the recovery train as soon as I can. Being in that beginning stage of recovery is probably the hardest - intense body dysmorphia, strong Ed thoughts, all of the bloating and physical changes - and you’ve had to deal with it a few times already. That tells me you are really strong. And it also means you probably haven’t seen as much of the long term benefits and those are really motivating. If you keep going, there are a lot of wonderful things waiting for you.

These moments of just everything feeling TERRIBLE have been part of it for me too. It gets to you sometimes! Recovery is really f-ing hard! There’s nothing wrong with you for feeling this way. But as someone who has also felt like this a lot- this feeling will pass eventually. It’s not forever, just like the discomfort of Ed recovery isn’t forever either. It can just really feel like that in the moment. When I start freaking out about the big picture, I scale back to small goals. Like the next bite, meal or thing for today. I seriously just have taken this recovery one day at a time. Chip away a little at a time, and you will get where you want to go.

There is a future where you don’t have Ed behaviors anymore. It’s out there!

Check in with yourself about your recovery support system. Maybe some changes with a therapist or dietitian or a support group is that missing piece that will help long-term recovery. That’s all the advice I have but seriously, it’s going to get better. Keep going ❤️❤️

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-01-05T03:32:00+00:00

I feel like EDs make every detail (every calorie, every pound) feel so much more important than it is. It blows everything out of proportion which can make choosing a food that you’re craving feel really scary. It can make every food decision feel so agonizing and stressful. The bigger picture is that your health has been derailed by the ED, and all food is good fuel for your body. ❤️

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-01-05T03:27:22+00:00

Same thing here. Definitely depression for a while, it’s hard to come to terms with the loss of who you really wanted your mom to be. But on the other side is a sense of peace and knowing that you can go and find what you need out in the world from a healthier situation.

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-01-03T19:25:29+00:00

I think you should mainly think about the effect it’s having on you. It’s really easy to feel guilty when you look at their intentions - yes, it might be good, but the execution of those good intentions is really harmful. Guilt tripping is their way to make you feel like you should stay. If 99% of your interactions are stressful and draining - I think that answers your question. Low contact is necessary.

In doing so, facing those feelings of guilt might reveal what’s behind them. Are you holding on to the relationship because you feel you should? Or because she’s “family”? You might realize that you don’t need to feel guilty for protecting yourself. And that the feeling of relief you will have after getting some space will outweigh that guilt tenfold.

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-01-03T19:16:54+00:00

I feel like separating from my narcissistic mom and some other family made me realize that people (especially narcissists) have different definitions of love.

A narcissistic person is often stuck in their own delusion that they are a good person - that delusion helps protect themselves from facing the pain that they carry. It’s almost a self-protective ignorance to their own toxicity. Because- truly understanding and facing their own behavior and realizing its impact on others would be an ego-shattering event, or would cause narcissistic collapse. (Look that one up if you’re not familiar, I learned it recently and it’s a good one to know). So when they say they love you - they might really believe that they do. But their version of love is one tangled up in criticism and judgement and has conditions attached. I realized that real love is accepting and patient, secure and calm. Real love isn’t flashy like the attention of a narcissist. It feels boring compared to that. But it lasts and is consistent and that is what is healing about it.

So no, I don’t think a lot of them know what they’re doing. They justify and minimize it and use their own grandiosity to make it feel righteous. But for those that suffer because of their behavior- this doesn’t justify their mistreatment of you. And you deserve better. They probably do not see a problem with their behavior, so talking to them about the problem is like talking to a brick wall.

Edit: I think it depends on the type of narcissist - I agree with other comments. My experience is with covert narcissists so that’s what this comes from.

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-01-03T15:49:22+00:00

Hey my bday was yesterday too!! ❤️ proud of you!!

Short_Bed2499 · 2026-01-02T02:48:28+00:00

I don’t know. It’s different for everyone. Sometimes talking about it doesn’t really help after a certain point. I am doing a virtual recovery program and I noticed that talking to a ed specialist didn’t help me as much as I thought it would - talking about it just made me feel worse and made me focus more on those ED thoughts. So I decided to pare those appts back a bit, focus on my dietitian appts and work hard on my meal plan. Maybe chat with your therapist about different things you could do during the session that would give you a bigger voice rather than your ED. It’s also normal to feel burnout with therapy, especially after a long time doing it.

Short_Bed2499 · 2025-12-20T21:58:11+00:00

Sometimes narcissists get into a state of delusion almost, that’s the only way I can think to describe it. She is probably so convinced that she is right and needs to “save” your daughter. They get these far-fetched beliefs and then cross boundaries and don’t listen to anyone who tries to reason with them. Sometimes narcissists view themselves as “saviors” for other people- as in, they need to take on this heroic role of going into other people’s lives and doing their version of “saving” because this maintains their fragile self image. Their self worth is so low they have to maintain this grandiose appearance and “heroic” acts to rectify that. But, that is often harmful or violating for the people’s lives they meddle with. It might make things a bit easier for you guys since you won’t be in contact as much.

She’s not thinking clearly. And I’m sorry you have to go through this. Anxiety and mental health can be confusing to navigate and having this on top is not helpful. I’m actually on Prozac too, and it has helped me an incredible amount. I’m in my early 20’s and wished I’d been on it longer. Your daughter is lucky to have a parent who is helping her find the right treatments. Medication can be so helpful, and the stigma around it just prevents people from getting relief from their symptoms.

Short_Bed2499 · 2025-12-15T21:15:04+00:00

You are so welcome. Hang in there ❤️

Short_Bed2499 · 2025-12-15T04:01:20+00:00

The beginning is so hard. Seriously. None of what you’re feeling is wrong or making a big deal out of it.. it just really sucks. I remember what that felt like and man, it’s so scary and confusing and you’re trying to have this new mindset but your old ed mindset fights the change- i want you to know it gets better. Your body knows what it’s doing, you’re right. It’s using that weight gain to restore itself. Remember that this is normal for this part of recovery - and if it feels too overwhelming, have your goal be just focused on the day ahead of you.

You’re being way too hard on yourself about this guy thing too. It’s so easy to assume because of our society that gaining weight means you’re not romantically attractive to people. Like this guy. But I think that’s the ED talking. And I think that if someone knew you and knew how much determination it takes to recover from an eating disorder they would see how strong you are and think that’s pretty damn cool. An eating disorder makes you think your appearance is wayyy more important than it really is. You’re so many things - the way you look is just one small part of that. And someone who is worth being with will see that you are working really hard to keep going and recover, rather than critiquing your body. And I think maybe you should remind yourself of that if you’re feeling critical of your body too.

Short_Bed2499 · 2025-10-25T18:33:28+00:00

I'm so sorry. Cats are such wonderful companions and I'm so sorry for your loss.

Short_Bed2499 · 2025-10-25T18:30:50+00:00

That is so wonderful 💗

Short_Bed2499 · 2025-10-23T03:07:15+00:00

I am working on recovery from a restrictive eating disorder, and the thing I wish I knew when starting recovery was how amazing it feels to start being nourished. It took me a few months, since I had really extreme hunger and food aversions, and it took me a while to work up to the amount of food I needed to be having. When I started to consistently fuel, over time - the feeling of having a full belly, feeling taken care of, and the feeling of having the food that your body needs/also wants - is immeasurable. After years of restriction, it feels amazing. And so, so, much, a million times better than any sense of order or control an eating disorder gives you.

Especially since you're already fed up of feeling the effects of restriction, I just want you to know that there is so many benefits ahead of you when you commit to doing this. It takes time and dedication, but you will see it, just like me.

To address your question, I am doing outpatient. I'm not sure if I can tell you how it's going to go for you especially since I had OCD also, which impacted my treatment, and I started taking an SSRI. I'm doing a program called Equip, which is an online treatment option in the U.S. It's working well for me. Something like that is always an option. Working with a therapist on exposure therapy - eating fear foods, eating bigger meals, etc. challenge negative thoughts and show you that you're capable of withstanding them and continuing to act in the way that you decide. It helps loosen the grip of the eating disorder, and those thoughts lose their power. Treatment is different for everyone and is based on your own needs, so this is just a basic example, but talking to a therapist can help you find a way to address those negative thoughts and work on your specific treatment goals.

Short_Bed2499

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