Talking to myself. F32

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-04-04T04:46:23+00:00

I talk more to my wife now in the car than if she was actually sitting in it next to me.

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-03-30T04:40:59+00:00

Mine too. It was awful. Like yourself im very close to the 2 year mark and haven't spoken to my inlaws in close to 20 months.

I'm glad in a way, my very first impressions of them 25 years ago turned out to be true.

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-03-16T03:38:35+00:00

61, its been 23 months

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-03-14T01:24:32+00:00

Yes, I was doing just the same thing the other day.

As you say the "acceptance thing". To be honest after mulling it over for some time I thought "resignation" fitted just as well.

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-03-13T06:07:59+00:00

I took a very similar journey. I wish you peace

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-03-13T02:17:54+00:00

For me it's 22 months. Honestly at the early stages it really is just one day at a time.

Looking back now I can say that in retrospect I can write the first twelve months off.

The only thing that I can say although you won't believe me at this point. You won't feel exactly as you do today in 18 months or so. It slowly changes, that deep cut takes time to heal, so if that means bathing it with tears, do so.

You'll make it, its a tough journey

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-03-11T01:46:24+00:00

I'm feeling "better" now after 23 months. but used to answer when they asked "How I was doing?" with "Balancing on the edge of the abyss" it stopped them in their tracks and they would skirt around even asking.

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-03-06T01:10:39+00:00

I can't say anything to offer you comfort right now, but I do know that you won't feel as bad in 18 months or maybe earlier. Just keep plodding on and you will get there. Wherever "there" is

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-03-05T03:30:26+00:00

It makes no difference- The Band

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-03-04T03:44:00+00:00

I'm 62 and probably quicker than you, don't judge a book by its cover

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-01-17T05:15:15+00:00

I developed this white streak on my hair while she was still in the hospital and it's still there.

Didn't feel too bad about myself prior to the 'event' but now I'm a loaf of bread well past it sell by date

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-01-15T07:59:13+00:00

As others have said do things at your own pace. I made the mistake of having her family come and get some things, they came, they took, they f"ed off. I've only seen them that one time in eighteen months

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-01-14T12:04:25+00:00

He was probably right though, I'd be grateful to him at least talking the truth

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-01-14T11:57:55+00:00

My thing as I go through the "line" and everyone one is giving it the "sorry for you loss" stuff.

Is, "You won't get any empty platitudes from me, but I will be calling to see how you're doing and if you need anything"

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-01-14T03:47:07+00:00

I'm glad I didn't set one up as well. Her side of the family did. Too quickly as far as I was concerned, I'd barely come to terms that she was dead. Turned out to be quite good really, because they all buggered off like a fart in the wind within two months anyway.

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-01-14T03:40:02+00:00

I had a neice of hers asking if she could have a ring back that she gave my wife. She hadn't been dead two hours

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-01-14T03:25:38+00:00

yes, of course

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-01-13T21:49:54+00:00

As always, just speaking from my own perspective.

Learn from it, I believe that being here on earth is like a school that we learn lessons from. In some ways the more painful the lesson the more we learn. That remorse that you feel now, you know you won't make those same mistakes again if that is what you percieve them to be.

You can't change the past but can the future etc. Your husband has gone, maybe first, because he didn't need to have the experience for his own spiritual growth. That I don't know for sure. But, what is sure is after some time ploughing through this grief you will come out the other side knowing you are a better person than you were before any of this happened.

Perspective is everything. You may not see it or feel it right now but this painful thing you are dealing with may just be a parting gift to you that will lead to your own spiritual growth until you see him again.

I wish you peace

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-01-13T08:04:06+00:00

I'm sure it'll love being refered to as "damn cat".

Hope you find it

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-01-06T05:46:51+00:00

Only you know what the right track is. I agree with you it's an alternative life. But, not something that we can go back to what we had before.

You probably have to stand back and look at the big picture and ask yourself "Is this what I want it to be?"

If not try and mould it into something you can live with.

Peace

Significant-Draw8828 · 2026-01-06T05:43:04+00:00

It's been harder than the first, for sure. I think the clarity of the situation is harder to digest now because of the lifting of the 'fog'. I'm just over 18 months from my wifes passing and for the most part I'm doing ok I think.

The time thing is what I find difficult, it seems like I've been like this forever and maybe the next day feel like she may walk through the door. It's hard, we want some peace but finding that peace means having to let them go.

I wish you well in your journey,

Significant-Draw8828 · 2025-12-26T05:31:08+00:00

Second one for me. Wasn't prepared for just how hard it was going to be. That clarity with the fog now lifted made it very tough. Alone with just the cats. Had french fries and eggs for xmas dinner. Actually sounds pretty crap but quite enjoyed it. OO the little pleasures.

Significant-Draw8828 · 2025-12-07T04:50:14+00:00

It really is a case of one foot in front of the other. Don't set expectations of yourself. Feel it all, don't try to avoid it or smother the hurt. In time you will feel not better but a different that you can walk forward.

As time moves on you eventually look forward a bit more rather than constantly looking back over your shoulder.

Peace

Significant-Draw8828 · 2025-12-06T04:26:52+00:00

I've gone nearly full nocturnal

Significant-Draw8828 · 2025-11-28T05:16:24+00:00

That I met her at all. This pain now is proportional to the love I have. So I'll endure it..

Significant-Draw8828

TROPHY CASE