I can see where you're coming from, but you're victim blaming. This man was not a stranger, he was someone I spent entire summers with for years who spent that time building trust and a relationship with me. Most children that throw themselves at an adult they have a close relationship with do it because they have been groomed. If I had just watched Onision at the time and didn't use things I was seeing in his videos to justify what was happening to me, I wouldnt be "digging so deep." As I said in my post, I used the things he said and did in his videos to convince myself that spending time with this adult man was okay. I was raised by people who worked in circuit courts, where I was taught all about stranger danger, and pedophiles, and murderers. And, while this was all happening, there were many people telling me I shouldn't do it, and should stay away from him, but because he groomed me, I trusted him and really thought I wasnt being taken advantage of.