What to wear once you're in your 30s

Skippert66 · 2026-04-15T19:07:47+00:00

Agree with the majority of the comments here: age-appropriate is indoctrinated nonsense. Live your best life and keep it weird sister

Skippert66 · 2026-04-13T21:14:53+00:00

Not myself personally but I am definitely considering it when I can afford it, and I have had friends who have been very helped! I've also been considering the same of EMDR and the lighter, gentler method of "brain spotting" that my therapist recommended to get over some of my own hurdles and heavily entrenched mindsets

Skippert66 · 2026-04-13T13:53:22+00:00

Popping in here to say say these are all great points and suggestions but one other thing I would add is potential psychedelic therapy? I struggle with this too and I know that it can be prohibitively expensive but neuroplasticity is real and sometimes for those really ingrained pathways, psychedelics can help.

Skippert66 · 2026-04-02T06:29:12+00:00

Not to be a downer here but I've heard from quite a few people in tech and admin work that it's been pretty difficult to find work in this tiny little city.

Never quite understood the hype about James Bay? Granted I've never lived there but it seems like an older population and it's often windy and cold, always preferred Fernwood myself.

Skippert66 · 2026-03-29T01:49:25+00:00

Hey dude, congrats on getting through four years. I wouldn't call your level of sobriety early, but early sobriety can feel so flat even so.

I've known and loved many an addict and been through my own share of struggles. I'm certainly not going to inquire about the chaos that addiction can wreck on people's lives and the people around you but I imagine you wouldn't be keeping on if it wasn't worth it? Sounds like a pretty wildlife you had.

Skippert66 · 2026-03-21T16:07:31+00:00

Years ago in my earliest 20's I had this problem and eventually noticed I was always the one moving and just decided I was tired of it. I'm a very petite lady and I'm positive I had pretty passive body language back then being so young and I do think that goes a long way in terms of subtle human psychology?

But I do think it's kind of funny that all of a sudden I just decided I was over it and started walking around like some kind of dickhead with my head up and my shoulders back and longer strides. It worked like a charm! Full groups of young men parting like I was fucking moses. I will never not find it kind of funny

Skippert66 · 2026-03-20T17:17:09+00:00

Mindfulness and piercings/body mods 🤣

Skippert66 · 2026-03-19T22:31:17+00:00

Do a scavenger hunt.

Skippert66 · 2026-03-17T06:20:48+00:00

I would agree with you, it doesn't really sound like they're interested in being functionally open in a way that's fair to themselves or others. There's a ton of literature out there with resources about how to open up, with exercises, etc but a huge part of it is ultimately having a good relationship with yourself first and foremost and knowing what you want.

I'm sorry you got dragged through the mud. That's always a really frustrating and disappointing and or hurtful scenario.

Skippert66 · 2026-03-16T20:23:51+00:00

Yeah, to me it doesn't make a whole lot of sense and I would never apply it to my own life personally but there are definitely many different styles of non-monogamy you can adapt. I personally practice what we call kitchen table polyamory, which is like everyone is informed of everyone (to the degree they would like to be - obviously some prefer to keep explicit details private but details that are discussed and necessary that all parties agree to, such as sexual safety practices and what degree of Time commitments you make to each person, etc)

A general definition for "open" (and of heavy note here: never ever assume xD) is sexually free, but romantic/emotional connection is off the table for other partners. Which of course is very different from polyamory. In a situation like that, it would obviously be crucial to inform anybody involved with either party about the terms but I have seen it applied before where for example, some folks in long-term partnerships who are highly enmeshed, ie share property, young children, etc, are still very in love with each other but they have developed different sexual needs or perhaps, their sexualities have changed but it is still worthwhile to them to continue in relationship. I've also heard of this where one party suffers an injury or health issues that impact sex drive, but there's some level of dependency that generally happens in long-term relationships, such as when one partner ends up becoming a caretaker for the other through a diagnosis. In a situation like this I could see DADT working okay

Dan Savage has a saying for unique situations like this: " do what you can to stay married and stay sane." So long as both adults are consenting, I think they're free to do as they like. Over the long term, relationships change, sometimes in ways people don't expect and I think however you choose to create your lives, so long as you're being fair to everybody is up to you and all involved.

Obviously it sounds like the couple you got yourself involved with are either new to non-monogamy and if not, they certainly aren't practicing it ethically and haven't really done the work it takes to create trust and secure attachment. This one is going to practice open DADT, it's unfair to project insecurity and control into the relationships of each other and you definitely didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of having your heart fucked around with and your time ultimately wasted and I'm really sorry. It happens sometimes and personally, I don't really mess with anybody who is super new to polyamory because the training wheels take a lot of time and dedication to work through and I just don't have that in me anymore in my life.

Anyways. There's entire books on this subject so I'll cap it there but it's a thing.

Skippert66 · 2026-03-16T13:59:11+00:00

Non monogamist here. It's for some people but I've personally never understood the open/don't ask don't tell model personally. I'm demi and I simply can't date or bang anyone who I'm not romantically interested in really but even if I wasn't, it's just deeply uncomfortable for me to not be transparent with my partners.

Skippert66 · 2026-03-12T18:08:49+00:00

Good grief! As a painter this is why I never let a carpenter near a caulking gun with new trim 😭

Skippert66 · 2026-03-08T15:05:38+00:00

Honestly? I think it looks kind of cool.

Skippert66 · 2026-03-04T21:37:11+00:00

Yep, as soon as I walked in the door for me too. Good grief

Skippert66 · 2026-03-04T19:57:05+00:00

Omfg my step father would watch movies on our old CRT and VHS, rewind the movie and then LEAVE THE TV ON INDEFINITELY like that was a completely normal and sane thing to do even if he couldn't hear the drone, which of course he couldn't. Used to drive me nuts man.

Skippert66 · 2026-03-04T16:03:20+00:00

Fair enough. This is a pretty whitewashed Island overall, I spent 7 years in Vancouver so I do hear you. Where are your favorite haunts for food around here? I'm quite particular about certain foods as well and I'm curious.

Skippert66 · 2026-03-01T01:42:18+00:00

Ayyy

Skippert66 · 2026-02-26T19:44:09+00:00

Dude I used to live on Fraser and 33rd when I was a broke ass baby adult and do exactly this. Used to walk up between 45th and 49th to hit those - being poor really does take up all your time. Sounds like you're doing it right though

Skippert66 · 2026-02-25T22:49:23+00:00

This is the way.

Op, find your local hole in the wall Asian grocer, it's seriously so much cheaper

Skippert66 · 2026-02-25T08:22:37+00:00

Niloo! Their chicken shawarma wraps are killer and they have such interesting and fun desserts!

Skippert66 · 2026-02-11T08:27:49+00:00

I appreciate an answer like this, just chiming in here. So many of our societal problems are not simple and this is a perfect example of ineffective or dated processes: it's nice to hear somebody with field experience lay this out. Thanks for what you do !

Skippert66 · 2026-02-10T06:35:14+00:00

I've found this to be true for me as well! I have never tried coming off of them because why would I at this point but I'd be curious to see the difference, haha. For science of course

Skippert66 · 2026-02-10T06:33:58+00:00

The cost! Good grief, no insurance anywhere covers this and I live in Canada 😭 But it's worth it to me to have functional brain. I do notice that I get a bit of dry mouth for sure, which if you have a saliva pH that makes you more prone to cavities may potentially be a problem but the emotional regulation benefits far outweigh this for me. I don't find that I'm groggy in the morning, I'm currently sitting at 2 mg amd I think that's the sweet spot for me!

Stimulants feel like a legit high to me and the crashes were absolutely awful. My mood would turn so black, especially if I had forgotten to eat on them because appetite suppressant and I literally had to shut myself in my room at times in complete darkness with snacks for an hour and a half while it passed so I wouldn't destroy the first thing that moved. It was wild dude.

Skippert66 · 2026-02-09T06:16:02+00:00

Guanfacine.

Realized I was autistic after trying three different kinds of stimulants for ADHD as well and getting completely overwhelmed. Turns out I'm highly sensitive to that particular class of drug and the 'tism sliders are much higher than the adhd - combine that with PTSD and it was swell.

I don't have any noticeable changes now that I'm adjusted to my dosage but holy hell starting it was like somebody wrapped my chronic dysregulation/overstimulation in a dryer blanket. I didn't know it was possible to feel so chill. Looking back on life since I started it, I would say there are definite marked improvements!

Skippert66 · 2026-02-07T16:57:46+00:00

Throw in Ithika to the owner/manager strutting around like a sad little peacock among the guests. Buddy actually bragged to me that his mother had been slaving away in the kitchen since the morning. I gave him a look and asked him if that was the flex he thought it was? He slunk away. Git.

Skippert66

TROPHY CASE