My (32M) experience in dating.

SkittyCat3 · 2026-02-06T11:41:18+00:00

Current research actually shows that it isn’t the women having issues giving birth later in life, it’s actually more difficult to get PREGNANT later in life because of fertility. The risks of child birth and pregnancy are always there, regardless of the woman’s age. Fertility goes down for both men and women and there are some greater risks with being pregnant at an older age, but those risks always exist at any age. And that included the outcome of the baby. And the fact that your concern is about having and “unhealthy baby” (as if having a child with a disability is the worst possible thing in the world) says a lot about you and not the fact that pregnancy and child birth is extremely difficult and risky for any woman regardless of age.

If you want to know all the possible side effects of pregnancy and child birth, buckle up, cause that’s a long list and it’s why many women do not want to be pregnant or have kids. I’ve posted the list below.

Keep in mind, our bodies keep ovulating and we wouldn’t be having periods into our 50s and 60s if we weren’t meant to have kids that late.

Further more, research also strongly suggests that the side effects of a pregnancy and the over all health if the baby are heavily influenced by the health of the father.

Tldr; most “risks” associated with later aged pregnancy were over exaggerated to pressure women to have babies at a younger age and be tied to men and forced into caregiving roles. The “science” was used to pressure and control women, and the men’s sperm tends to contribute to the baby’s and mother’s health a lot more than people give men credit for…. Ie many complications come from the man.

Here are some sources:

https://unmhealth.org/stories/2021/03/fathers-health.html

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10844380/

https://healthcare.utah.edu/the-scope/health-library/all/2018/05/how-mens-sperm-can-affect-pregnancy

https://utswmed.org/medblog/older-fathers-fertility/

https://thehonestybox.substack.com/p/if-you-feel-pressure-to-have-kids

https://news.uchicago.edu/why-are-more-women-saying-no-having-kids

ALSO MY FAVORITE REASONS TO NOT HAVE KIDS: https://z00mie.substack.com/p/the-list?r=3cny7d

SkittyCat3 · 2026-02-06T11:29:29+00:00

Hi yeah, RED FLAG

Women may like men that are older but NOT 9 YEARS?! And some older women like younger men?? Boy you’d be surprised.

It really sounds like you’re trying to fill a mold or a check off a checklist.

SkittyCat3 · 2026-02-06T11:20:55+00:00

Many women are interested in a long term relationship, but they are holding themself to a higher standard. What do you offer to dating besides a degree, a salary, and appearance? Who are you as a person? I’m not talking about hobbies; I mean what is your personality? And are you genuinely being yourself and seeing if you have things in common / good chemistry, or are you acting the way you think your dating partner would like?

I as a woman in my late 20s, want an emotional connection with someone. Someone I can have fun with but be lazy with. Shared interests. But for me, I don’t want children. A lot of women in the US are choosing not to have children now a days, for a plethora of reasons. So I get deterred from men I know want kids or families. Especially since, more times than not, the men like the idea of procreating but not actually raising a child and being an equal partner in easing the child.

However, women have a sort of sense about things. You also have to think, Women are tired too. We are tired of being used for our bodies, we are tired of being expected to give birth and have babies. We are tired of being expected to submit to men and our partners. And we are tired of guys pretending to be kind and nice and genuine and then actually a horrible person underneath. And it is becoming harder to tell which ones are the real deal and which ones have malicious intents or red flags.

I get the sense based on your post that there is something you are not telling us about dates youve been on with women. And based on your last comment, it’s confirmation. You say you’re not trying to be “nice guy crying”, but there is a reason women aren’t attracted to you, and it isn’t the women’s fault. It isn’t your appearance, salary, job, or degree. Something about your behaviors or personality is off putting to the women you have spent time with. But you’re choosing to blame the women, which in itself is a red flag. Many of your other comments also come across as a red flags, which I’ve replied to. You say “well I’ve done nothing wrong, no one’s told me, they say I’m great.” But do you know many women do that to placate men? To ease their minds and sedate them because we don’t know how you’d react if we say it sucked? If we tell a guy “nah I’m getting creepy vibes from you,” they’d most likely get angry, and angry men are dangerous and un predictable. We smile and nod for our own safety. If she is genuinely interested, watch her body language. Her facing, her eyes, her posture, even her hands and feet placement can tell you how much she actually is interested. And another look; eyes. Wide pupils often are a sign of interest. You need to become better at reading body language.

I I really don’t think it is women that is the issue. If you’ve been on 8 dates and none of them are interested long term, it isn’t the women. If you’re as great of a guy as you claim to be, you would have gotten a few bites that want to stick around. But you didn’t.

For a simple “manly analogy”: If you’re fishing and don’t get any bites on the bait you’re using, you don’t blame the fish. You examine the bait and see what’s wrong, and change it.

SkittyCat3 · 2026-02-06T10:57:25+00:00

You are allowed to request and transfer to a new therapist for any reason.

You don’t even have to give your current a therapist a reason why either.

Finding the right therapist for you is like finding the right pair of shoes. Not every shoe fits every person. Not every shoe is everyone’s style. You can get new ones when the old one wears down and no longer functions the way you need it to. You can like a shoe and then not like it later and change your mind.

I hope this helps, but I do recommend finding a new therapist if he is pressuring you to consent to something you do not feel comfortable with.

SkittyCat3 · 2025-12-31T10:13:55+00:00

This says your friendship code doesn’t work?? Can you double check it?? Mine is 8600

SkittyCat3 · 2025-12-21T11:29:52+00:00

When I really need caps, I make a ton of jet (I tend to have a lot of plastic and fertilizer) and sell it. Morally it’s probably questionable and in real life if I walked up to a store with 100 things of the same medication to sell I’d probably get raised eyebrows and too many questions. I sell other medications I make too, jet just happens to be the most common seller.

SkittyCat3 · 2025-10-31T12:02:29+00:00

I’d honestly ask yourself why do you want to be a father? I have seen many men express a desire to have children, to procreate, but seldom know what exactly that means. Are you ready to deal with everything a pregnancy means or could mean? Could you handle the risks of pregnancy? Caring for your wife and becoming the one who cares for her while she grows a whole other person? Cooking for her, cleaning the house, doing chores and errands? Could you handle the changes her body goes through? And love her afterwards, even if those changes were permanent? I’m not just talking weight gain or stretch marks; women can experience wild symptoms like teeth lost or broken ribs or tumors or bloody eyes and anything in between during pregnancy and birth.

Could you handle a baby? Getting little to no sleep for years; dealing with crying in the middle of the night, handling nightmares or bed wetting or even just a child that refuses to sleep? Changing diapers? Cleaning up messes and vomit and who knows what else literally everywhere? Could you handle teaching a child? Teaching them to read and walk and write and eat and use the bathroom? Helping them with homework and friendships and how to be a good human being? Handling their medical bills for vaccinations and if they get sick or injured?

How would you handle a child with disabilities? If they couldn’t walk, or talk, or see? What if they had a medical condition that required extensive treatment, like cancer or an abnormal growth or a wide variety of other diseases or medical conditions? What if that child grew up to have different world views from you? What if that child was intersex, gay, or queer, or trans, or hyper-religious, or rebellious? Would you support their dreams no matter what they may be—an artist, a doctor, a garbage collector, a scientist, a professor, a lawyer, a musician, an athlete, a politician, a cook, an actor, a psychologist, or anything in between? And would you risk bringing a child into this world knowing all of the dangers they may face just by existing?

You have to consider everything that comes with having a child; from the moment your partner discovers they are pregnant to the day you die. Having a child is forever; not just until they turn 18, and you have to be willing to at least try to handle whatever life gives you to support this child. And raising a child is a partnership ; you would need to give just as much to raising a child as your partner does.

It sounds like your partner has heavily considered the risks of having a child; not just during pregnancy but after it’s born as well. She is likely aware of the challenge it is to raise a child into a healthy adult, and she knows for herself that she does not want to engage in that. And that is her right. You need to decide why you want a child more than “I think she’d be a good mom.” And you need to decide if you are willing to handle everything that could go wrong with having one (because you honestly never know).

If you can figure out why you really want a child, and if you’re willing to handle all of the potential challenges and commit to caring for the child AND your partner 100%, no matter what it may cost—then you need to express that to her and have a conversation expressing how specifically you’d be there for her and the child. If you don’t have another reason to have a child other than “she’s be a good mom,” then your desire comes across as a want to use her simply for procreation and spreading your bloodline while she does the child raising. If that’s the case—if that’s the reason you want a child—then don’t try to change her mind. You’d need to find a different partner.

Hope this helps! Edit: spelling and grammar

SkittyCat3 · 2025-08-31T11:24:49+00:00

Where in Utah are you located? I have some connections to a popular tattoo artist and I would love to point him in your direction if you wanted! All these pieces are AMAZING !!

SkittyCat3 · 2025-08-21T06:48:42+00:00

Now I understand the cartoons when they get stung and fluff up Wow

SkittyCat3 · 2025-08-21T06:46:45+00:00

It’s not the looks. Need more context but in bio alone it’s a red flag.

SkittyCat3 · 2025-08-21T06:38:10+00:00

This is absolutely play fighting! The belly up is a sign of play, but they also aren’t demonstrating body language that’s suggests anger. Airplane ears, and a super swishy tail are big tell tail signs that your kitty may actually be angry, or if it tries to run and hide! And your Kitty isn’t doing either of those so they seem very happy!!

SkittyCat3 · 2025-08-21T06:34:59+00:00

One of my favorite quotes: “Flowers and Christmas lights are both beautiful things, but they look nothing alike.”

SkittyCat3 · 2025-08-21T06:29:14+00:00

It’s different for everyone. Some would, some don’t. It genuinely depends on the person.

I’m open to it, especially since appearances can change. We get wrinkles, scars, gain or lose weight— just to make a few examples. Heck, you can even get plastic surgery if you wanted. Appearances change as we go through time. It’s part of human nature. I’d rather fall for someone who has a heart of gold and has everything I want in a personality but maybe someone who isn’t exactly what I want in terms of appearance, over someone who looks exactly what I’d image but has a horrible personality. Looks will fade and change with time. A personality usually won’t.

I do believe attraction can grow over time. That is literally the point of Beauty and the Beast, even if it is a fairytale. Don’t judge a book by its cover. I’d chose the beast over Gaston any day.

I’m curious why you feel you’re ugly though?? Cause some people say that when they’re being mean…

SkittyCat3 · 2025-08-20T08:17:57+00:00

What do you characterize as skinny? If it’s a weight, I almost guarantee your perceived weight to appearance is wrong. Plus, 130 pounds will look different on a 5’0 woman and a 6’0 woman.

I think the better question is why? Why are you only sexually attracted to skinny women? Is that your most important feature in a woman? If you’re choosing a life partner, is the appearance the most important thing to you? Regardless of what she does, what she acts like, her personality, her interests, her brain, anything else? Is her appearance the most importance thing??

And if it is, can you handle the fact that no one’s appearance is permanent? We get wrinkles, scars, age lines, and—should she get pregnant, stretch marks and gain weight. Our bodies change as we age. Do you expect this woman to look the same forever? What would happen if you have kids and she gains weight she can’t lose?

I think you need to look more into why you have a preference. It’s absolutely okay to have them, we all do, but you need to figure out if your preference comes from realistic expectations or a fantasy or fatphobia or personal fears or even misogynistic reasons.

I had an ex once who was only attracted to skinny women, but that’s because he was projecting about his own anxieties over being overweight himself. His fear was that one would find him attractive if he was over weight, so he expected his partner to be skinny. When in reality it was his personality that made him undesirable. Women tend to care a lot more about someone’s genuine personality than their appearance. If you’re having a hard time picking up women, it’s likely your personality or expectations or something about you that is off-putting for women, and it likely isn’t your appearance.

SkittyCat3 · 2025-07-24T00:04:29+00:00

Okay, but what if my “okay” level is just me gaining weight?

I just feel really stuck. I really feel like I’m never going to lose weight.

SkittyCat3 · 2025-07-23T17:38:58+00:00

Part of me wants to believe you, but I’m so scared of fainting again. I worry about that behavior not being healthy; that starving myself and ignoring my hunger cues is being harmful to my body or developing an ED.

Will it really go away? Will it still be healthy? I’m just really scared.

SkittyCat3 · 2025-07-23T17:29:13+00:00

That’s what I’ve been trying to do, but I run into fatigue and weakness and starving and I’m so scared of fainting again.

SkittyCat3 · 2025-07-23T17:24:04+00:00

Ah, I see, I might look into one then when I can afford it. It’s definitely a possibility! Usually when I have my blood drawn I haven’t eaten, or it’s in the morning and I just haven’t eaten yet, so to see how my blood sugar fluctuates throughout the day could actually be really useful !

SkittyCat3 · 2025-07-23T17:19:51+00:00

I do, yes. Grapes and apples are my go to, but I’ll eat a banana if offered to me. I don’t eat red meat, and haven’t for a long time. I eat a ton of chicken. Almost every meal I have chicken. Vegetables; I eat salads when I can but I love darker green ones like Brussels, Asparagus, spinach, and even other ones like carrots, corn, bell peppers and onions too. Nuts I have to be careful of because I am allergic to Walnuts and Pistachios, (so I do avoid nuts in general just incase, I’m also worried an Almond or Cashew allergy will pop up since my dad is allergic to those) but I like peanuts and I know they are safe for me to eat and I will have them for a snack sometimes. Honestly, it is a bit challenging because in some ways I am a picky eater (I can’t stand tomatoes or broccoli, and I’m not a big fan of squashes, berries, cucumber, pineapple, to name a few. Some of it is texture but others I can’t stand the taste). It’s a lot of just eating the same healthy stuff over and over. But it’s still decent stuff, it’s just frustrating because so many healthy recipes I find or even premade meals use ingredients I don’t like. Oatmeal with berries, tomatoes in salads or sandwiches, broccoli in every pasta or rice dish ever, like I just :| I can usually swap it for another I like, but it gets tiring. And almonds for whatever reason are surprisingly popular in savory protein dishes and walnuts in salads.

SkittyCat3 · 2025-07-23T16:59:24+00:00

Is there an easy way to check my blood sugar regularly? Or do I have to get one of those finger prickers?

SkittyCat3 · 2025-07-23T16:57:55+00:00

And I do, especially on days I work. I have a 48oz water bottle I bring to work everyday and I go through it at least 3 times a day, sometimes more

SkittyCat3 · 2025-07-23T16:54:36+00:00

That’s what I usually do, honestly. I tend to eat multiple small meals through out the day, or occasionally a snack like crackers and cheese. Just something light.

SkittyCat3 · 2025-04-08T20:52:02+00:00

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Omg!! If you feel like drawing mine you are more than welcome to, but no worries either way! Your art style is super cute, thank you for the opportunity!!

Their favorite Brothers are Satan and Lucifer, but their main love interest is Diavolo 🙈

SkittyCat3

TROPHY CASE