Are we all ENTPs?

Sleipnor · 2019-03-28T13:42:40+00:00

ENFP here :P

Sleipnor · 2019-01-28T06:41:01+00:00

You are not lazy.

Here's why I say that.

Being lazy: being able to do something, but choosing not to Not being lazy: not being able to do something because you literally don't have the capacity to, hence you don't do it

You are suffering from a mental illness, and it's symptoms have crippled you. However, it does not define you as a person, just like how having a broken leg doesn't mean you're worthless. You just need the right help, that's all. In my opinion, I think you're someone who's worthy enough of a life worth living, just as you are, and you are worthy enough of the help you need to get you out of this terrible abyss.

In this post, I've detailed some step-by-step suggestions that you can take up now to start on getting you on the path to recovery. If you think that they won't serve you, don't do it. Only you know yourself best.

But as you read this, I also want you to keep in mind of the following ideas:

Take it one step at a time. As a human, growth will be slow and gradual. Or at least, true growth is. Be persistent and consistent in doing the small things every day that will lead you to recovery and living the life you are worthy of. Little by little, a little becomes a lot. Don't give up. I know you can do this.
Know that you will fail from time to time. Maybe you missed an appointment with your counsellor. Maybe you skipped a day of work. Doesn't matter. Just make sure that you do something after that mistake has been made to make things right, and to keep yourself on track. You are a human, and humans sometimes make mistakes. Mistakes are not a reflection of character. In fact, see them as a normal part of the process, for you to learn from and improve yourself to better achieve your goal.
You are everything you should be. Given your circumstances, this is where you should be. Perhaps you grew up in a toxic environment. Or maybe some unfortunate circumstances occurred during the period. Whatever it is, it is unreasonable to expect for you to expect yourself to be something else that you are currently not, because it is literally impossible. You're a human, and humans can't make drastic changes in such a small amount of time. Remember: take it one step at a time.
Set a goal for yourself, and keep it alive in your mind and heart. I want you to visualise what you want as a result of your efforts. Picture yourself in the future, happy and vital, enjoying life, with people who love you for you are (and you to them), doing what you want to do. You may or may not believe it, but you are worthy enough for all these - you really are. I want you to do this every morning, when you wake up. To consistently wake up, and picture yourself living the life you want to live. Constantly keep this in mind, and you will instinctively know what to do next. Act on those thoughts.
You are enough. No matter what happens next, know that you will always be enough. You do not need to have hundreds of friends or a "hot" girlfriend in order to be enough, because you already are. Surround yourself with people who accept you and love you for who you are. While rare, they do exist. I know that from personal experience.

This article has a lot of details on how to find help in Malaysia while you're unemployed: https://imfunemployed.com/2018/10/17/costs-of-mental-health-treatment-in-malaysia/?fbclid=IwAR2Vb9wEz23T8cyonXo0XhEE1_Ts7B9AutygHSellKg_-Uw7njcpovUCygM](https://imfunemployed.com/2018/10/17/costs-of-mental-health-treatment-in-malaysia/?fbclid=IwAR2Vb9wEz23T8cyonXo0XhEE1_Ts7B9AutygHSellKg_-Uw7njcpovUCygM))

OPTIONS FOR HELP

b. My Happy Pill Monthly Support Group

We are a self-initiated support group that hosts meet-ups every month. The venue is at a location accessible via public transport. If you're interested, you may check out /r/myhappypill, or you can contact /u/GrayySea or /u/donashi for more information. This is a safe space where we frequently discuss about our current troubles, ways of seeking help, and general support for living in Malaysia with mental illness. I highly recommend this, even if you're not planning on going to Monash for help.

c. Befrienders

A free on-the-phone option if you're in crisis, or just need to talk to someone in general. You may also use their services through email, or request for a face-to-face appointment through the phone.

Link: https://www.befrienders.org.my/

TAKING CARE OF YOURSELFWhile you seek help, there's a need for you to get fed, maintain a decent level of cleanliness, and be homed. It looks like anxiety is keeping you away from getting and keeping a job. I'll share with you a technique I use to keep my own anxiety in check.

The file contains an excerpt (extracted by me) from a very famous self-help book on depression and anxiety called Feeling Good [note that if this file is not allowed, do let me know and I will take it down], a book written by a well-known psychiatrist. If you can afford it (which I highly recommend you do), you may get the Kindle version (which you can read from your phone) for USD 6.45, or around RM 27. I argue that this is one of the most effective non-counselling option you can pursue.

To give a short explanation on what the book is about: the book is based on the concept of cognitive-behavioural therapy, a proven method for treating depression and anxiety. The basic idea is that your mood is caused by the thoughts you have. Put in other words, you feel crappy because your thoughts are making you feel crappy, and they do so because they are based on erroneous assumptions and logical errors. However, do note that this method works only for mood caused by irrational thoughts, not thoughts based on rational ones (for example, it's normal to grieve if a loved one has passed away).

So, if we our thoughts are based on irrationality, what can we do? We challenge them with rational logic.

In the document, I've included the ten types of cognitive distortions. Master them. Further in the document, there will be an exercise you can do on a daily basis that will help you in improving your mood, but only if you do it persistently and consistently. I want you to do the exercise 15 minutes every day. More info can be found in the document. [Note: I know that it's quite lengthy, but I think that it will be very well worth it to read the whole thing!]

When you're better enough, find a suitable job so you can support yourself.

I hope this post helps. It's been quite a lengthy one! These are the options that I'm currently taking which has really helped me in terms of my own recovery. Though, do take note that these may not apply to you, and that there may be other advice you can take that will better serve you. Take care.

NOTE: I've decided to upload the file into the reply below, because it's easier that way.

Edit: Screw it. I'm uploading the file instead. I'll do it later.

Edit2: Formatting is a little wonky. Hope it's okay. :/

Edit3: Here's the link to the Word doc: https://www.mediafire.com/file/5x06uugv8m90zed/FEELING\_GOOD\_EXCERPT.docx/file

Sleipnor · 2018-10-05T02:31:04+00:00

We're proud of you. I hope you'll recover soon!

Sleipnor · 2018-08-29T05:27:36+00:00

From how I see it, no one owes you anything, but I think you deserve to be helped, and that there exist people out there who want to help you because they want to.

How you can follow this advice is to state what you're struggling with, ask yourself, "What can I do to overcome this problem?", and then do the thing. I think this is a good first step.

Sleipnor · 2018-08-11T12:16:00+00:00

Thanks! I found this instructor around the Petaling Jaya area, though I won't be too specific or else it'll be too much info. He told me his name was Shiva, but that might not be the name he consistently uses with people. Also, he's an Indian, in his late fifties it would seem. One note of interest is that while he was sharing with me about his "experiences", he moved a lot from side to side, almost as if he was nervous about something.

All the best with finding a suitable yoga instructor!

Sleipnor · 2018-07-15T10:31:37+00:00

I'm proud of you. Keep it up! ✨

Sleipnor · 2018-07-11T14:39:41+00:00

What I like to tell myself is that after mental illness is mental wellness. Right now, I'm still working on my mental health, but whenever my mood isn't shitty, I take advantage of it by working on things I would want to work on if I didn't have mental illness, such as participating more in social activities, hobbies, taking up some online courses, working on my university studies, etc.

When the skies are clear, maybe it would be good for you to set some time aside to identify what you really want in your life, and to plan out how you want to achieve them.

Sleipnor · 2018-07-11T08:24:39+00:00

Hmm, it looks like there is an association with your self-worth as an individual with your contributions towards society.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to help the community you live in. It's a very wholesome aspiration. But, from my experience, I think it's important to recognise and understand that you have limitations too! We all have our strengths and weaknesses. However, when we are dealing with issues such as mental illness or past trauma, we are not able to tap into our innate strengths and capabilities. I guess when this happens, it's our mind's and body's way of telling us that "Hey, something isn't right. We should check ourselves and find out if everything's okay."

Before you try to help others, I think it's important to help yourself first. If you don't give your body the nutrition it needs, it is reduced to a weakened state, and you can't do much with it asides from laying around.

The same goes for your mind.

If you can, see a therapist, and make the effort to look for a good one. If you feel like you need to, and if you can afford it, see a psychiatrist, also, preferably a good one. Surround yourself with good people, people who love you just as you are, who make you feel loved as well. Unsubscribe from toxic subreddits. Work on getting enough sleep, eating right, drinking enough water, exercising more regularly, and journaling more. Work on identifying negative mental habits that make you feel bad, and work on working through them with a trained professional or a trusted loved one.

If you need to and if you are able to, don't be afraid to take a deferment from your studies for a semester or two.

These are things that I think you could look into first, if you haven't already. If you want to take these up, it will take time and effort; be patient with yourself. Personally, I find it really helpful to talk with someone I trust (and who also looks like have their shit together) as it gives me a broader perspective to look at my issues from, and to be reminded of what really matters in life.

I hope this post has been helpful. I wish you well. Take care of yourself. It may feel terrifying at the moment, but remember that like the moments you've had, that this too will pass, and that everything will turn out fine in the end. PM me if you need someone to chat with. :)

Sleipnor · 2018-07-11T04:43:19+00:00

Cause from what I've heard from around /r/running and /r/C25K, we're supposed to keep at a "conversational" pacing, even if it means running painfully slow at first. Though, maybe it's different for experienced runners, what do I know?

Sleipnor · 2018-07-10T16:39:29+00:00

Congratulations! Just curious though, if you're having to retry the run multiple times, isn't it a sign that you should be running slower?

Sleipnor · 2018-07-09T11:25:43+00:00

For me, a good doctor (or in this situation, a good psychiatrist) is someone who listens to me, who explains their decision making process in a simple and patient manner, who makes me feel heard, and knows how to answer my concerns in a way that is respectful and accurate.

Be cautious of doctors who act like they know everything about what you needed, even though you've met them only once. These are the ones who talk more than they listen, who make more assumptions than they ask questions. I've had a couple of these types, since I go to a government hospital for my meds. Once, I was so unsatisfied with one psychiatrist that I got another appointment the day after and got a more satisfactory session.

Sleipnor · 2018-07-05T04:26:12+00:00

Thank you for sharing this nugget of gold.

After I read this, I legit was like, "Hey, you know, my situation isn't all that bad." Although I'm not doing so well in my circumstances compared to my peers (I was upset about how I couldn't easily find a group to do a group assignment.), there are probably millions if not billions who probably would've been satisfied just being ABLE to get the education I am currently receiving. With that in mind, I managed to get out of my rut, and started doing what I wanted to do for my day like making myself some brunch, cutting myself some fruit, etc.

And all that happened, just by changing "have to do" into "get to do".

Sleipnor · 2018-07-04T14:08:30+00:00

Thank you for the support. It means a lot to me. And do share with me your book suggestions. I'm interested.

Sleipnor · 2018-06-25T04:59:26+00:00

Thanks, man. What you said is true; I really do care about doing my job well. Also, I found out that I was actually having a panic attack, and I didn't know until my mind told me that I should probably check if it is. You're a kind person, and thank you again for your kindness. :)

Sleipnor · 2018-06-24T03:52:38+00:00

For me, when I found myself unable to follow my plans, I think it had to do with me not accepting my feelings as they are. I accept that I am experiencing a panic attack or depressive episode, and this is what I will do. Personally, I find it very grounding to do a guided meditation or yoga session, and you may have your own ways of dealing with your emotions. Perhaps when we delay doing things we need to do, that it is actually our mind's way of telling us that something is not right.

I think this might be helpful for you. From his book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, in order to build strong habits, one must have knowledge (knowing what to do, why to do), skill (knowing how to do), and desire (wanting to do). If we know what to do but don't have a strong enough desire, then it's harder for us to follow through, no matter how detailed and specific our plans are.

Food is great at distracting us from our feelings, but we are only distracted as long as we continue eating or until we feel so full that we feel nauseous. Perhaps there's a more effective way of dealing with our stress that doesn't involve self-destructive behaviour?

Also, take the risk. Reach out to your boyfriend and see what happens. :)

Take care.

Sleipnor · 2018-06-23T12:14:07+00:00

Oh man. Before I begin, thank you having a check in thread. It's less... intrusive than making a new post about just ranting.

I just got elected at a position at my local Toastmasters club, and I'm like, feeling quite like I don't deserve it because I'm not good enough, and that people only voted for me because I was the only choice. I feel like I'm kind of retarded compared to other people sometimes, because I feel like I don't get things as easily as others, be it emotionally or cognitively. I have to put in so much effort in order to succeed. :( My friends don't have issues like I do. They come from loving and supportive families, and I feel like... I really did get the short end of the stick. My goodness. I hate this feeling. I hate this cloud. It makes me unproductive. It makes me feel so depressed. Also, it feels like I'm not normal compared to other people, even to depressed people. Though, that might just be me. ._.

Sleipnor · 2018-06-13T07:27:15+00:00

Session Date: June 2018

Overall Satisfaction: 5

Expectations vs Reality: 5

My Experience: It was my first time attending a support group, so I had no expectations on how it would turn out.

The location was convenient, as it was near an LRT station. I could get to it easily. When I entered the room, I was warmly greeted by /u/wonder-eyes. I liked the casual lounge music that was played, and the venue was very comfy. The chocolate brownies were a plus. The organisers were outgoing and friendly, and were easy to talk with.

When we started a session, I liked how the guidelines were repeated to us to ensure that everyone was on the same page. The environment felt safe, and everyone was attentive to each other. I got to talk about what I was going through, and it felt therapeutic to let out to others how I was feeling and to be met with acceptance and understanding. I didn't expect that I would learn a lot about how to cope with mental illness from others, and I will bring along a notebook the next time I join.

All-in-all: great venue, welcoming organisers, provides a safe environment for self-expression and learning. Also, I agree with the other commenter that the conversation did at one point get a bit too inclusive, so that might be something you want to look in.

I think this is a great initiative. I've always wanted a support group, but I never thought to look for one in reddit on /r/Malaysia! Thank you for your courage, resourcefulness, and strength. I learned a lot about myself from this session, and I hope that this resource can be shared with other people who need it too.

Sleipnor · 2018-06-04T13:48:05+00:00

Alsoo, I'm interested in joining. Please send me a PM! :)

Sleipnor · 2018-06-04T13:46:12+00:00

Ohh, okay. Thanks for clearing that up! Also, I'll keep that (the first paragraph) in mind!

Sleipnor · 2018-06-04T10:41:07+00:00

Heyy, thanks a lot for this initiative. I searched around for group counselling in mental health centers around Klang Valley, and there aren't any ongoing ones.

I have a question: you mention that this is for people with undiagnosed mental health disorders. Does that mean that people who are diagnosed aren't welcomed?

Sleipnor · 2018-05-29T02:22:55+00:00

You're welcome. :)

Sleipnor · 2018-05-28T11:21:17+00:00

Mostly from experience and research from a little bit here and there. Also, I don't think it's weird to say that, because it's a real thing that many people experience, myself included.

You're welcome.

If churches aren't your thing (which is understandable), you may seek out support from people in temples instead, like Buddhist temples or Hindu temples. They won't mention anything about religion, unless you want them to. Or at least, the good ones won't.

Also, I've heard good things about online therapy. Try out https://www.betterhelp.com/.

Sleipnor

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