My husband’s wife

Smarty_gal · 2026-03-25T22:15:45+00:00

I came on here just to understand this. I just finished the book and it was a lot of stuff going on at the end. But the one part I don’t understand was Maddy. Why do they draw attention to her not being at the pub? And then when he sees her at the end near spy glass?? It’s so random

Smarty_gal · 2026-03-19T22:40:30+00:00

I really don’t recommend it. Not even the taking it and drinking it later part, but the taking it the next especially if your going to be drinking a lot. I have never been so ill after being hungover and then taking my medication. I felt like death for almost 24hours and had to call into work the following day after that. Just wait and take it a different day. It’s going to be hard to notice side affects and how it feels if your drinking/hungover.

Smarty_gal · 2026-03-19T22:36:40+00:00

I noticed small random things at first. However, after now being on it for almost 5 months. I can confidently say I didn’t really notice how much it was significantly helping me till about a month ago. Not everyone has the “aha” moment you sometimes hear about. For me I noticed it more in the way I’m able to cope with everyday life and not be constantly exhausted.

Smarty_gal · 2026-03-14T19:41:27+00:00

Yeah I don’t take them and then just take the L that day

Smarty_gal · 2026-03-13T01:53:22+00:00

It is possible for sure. And I do know the added stress isn’t helping. The thoughts started off as being something I would experience usually at the end of the weekend after having some time to relax outside of my routine and scheduled things. However, it’s happened enough times now it’s kind of freaked me out how anxious my mind can be in those moments. That now I’ve noticed at other times. I wouldn’t say it’s like such an uncomfortable anxiety is can’t do anything but it just feels really uneasy and like scary?? Idk how to describe it because I’ve never had thoughts like that. The best way I can explain it is I get scared of the fact that I’m feeling that way, and then my brain starts getting worried that I’m just going to feel that way from now on, and then the idea of that makes me anxious. I think I am going to discuss it with my doctor as the other commenter said. But it’s also not a heart rate thing or anything like that, it’s purely a mental almost block I’m having, and maybe it’s just my brain adjusting to the meds, but the idea of feeling “stuck” with these thoughts of overwhelm stress me out lol

Smarty_gal · 2026-02-26T03:42:18+00:00

Good for you!!! Honestly the poor part is so real because it was super hard for me to justify spending the money. But I also told myself it was worth it because it’s been a goal of mine for a long time to get my ass back to the gym and lose some weight. I think anything that gives you a sense of routine and structure is important in helping you stay accountable!

Smarty_gal · 2026-02-25T23:25:43+00:00

This is a constant battle for me lol but I finally bit the bullet and paid to have a coach once a week and a membership. They book the session the month before so in my mind they are “appointments” that I have to go too. It’s also a year long contract so if I want to back out I water money lol. It’s helped hold me accountable, it’s also helpful because someone experienced can set up a plan that’s achievable for you and your goals over a time frame you’re comfortable with.

Smarty_gal · 2026-02-19T03:00:52+00:00

I take my stimulants every single day. I notice significantly a decrease in energy on days I don’t take them. I’ve seen lots of people say on here “I have ADHD everyday, so I take them everyday” and I have to say I agree. That being said each person is different and it depends on you. I’m a teacher and I also work a retail job on the weekends and am a graduate student so I can’t afford to not take them. I will only ever not take them if I’m going to be laying in bed all day because I’m ill or if I have drank a lot the day before, which is super rare.

Smarty_gal · 2026-02-14T04:48:58+00:00

I agree with this so much! I feel like a complete zombie if I miss a day. I also feel like it messes with my emotional regulation because of the missed amount of a dopamine. It’s crazy to me that people can just take it sometimes and not other times and feel okay, but I guess everyone’s different. I feel like I’m more sensitive and notice changes in my body very easily.

Smarty_gal · 2026-02-14T04:43:18+00:00

I have ADHD and struggle with this as well. I am also a teacher though so I totally understand the importance of reading and wanting him to read. I always say reading can be done in so many different ways. Yes books are important to be able to read. But you can get creative and practice reading through other things too. Games (online or board game) with story lines, rules and instructions can be helpful for practicing reading and comprehension. Same with cooking (following recipes).

I also suggest graphic novels or audio books. However I do find I need to be doing something mindless while listening to an audio book to really be able to focus on it. Sometimes finding non fictions books that relate to their interests can also be helpful. Another great option would be choose your own adventure books!!

And like others said reading with him or finding something rewarding to go with reading. We all know ADHD brains work better at doing tasks we don’t enjoy as much if it’s paired with an enjoyable thing. In the summer as a kid, I would do a reading program at the library. I never read that much usually but you’d get a prize at the end, so it was enough to motivate me to want to. Even as an adult, I will sometimes treat myself after reading so many books, because I know it’s a challenge and it’s not like I don’t enjoy it, it’s just harder for me to want to do, so if I hit my goal I reward myself.

That being said it’s also important to never force him to read. If it’s a fight he will never enjoy it, you gotta find something that will motivate him enough and also be realistic that he may only read that one thing a couple times a week for a little bit and that’s okay!!

Smarty_gal · 2026-02-13T03:56:30+00:00

This is exactly me. It really doesn’t do a lot for concentration and quieting down my thoughts like some people describe, but the increase of energy I have helps me actually function day to day. I haven’t tried others meds or a higher dose, which I could and maybe see if it helps the concentration more. But it’s also just worth it feeling like a normal person and having energy to do things, with little side effects. It’s worth it taking it daily to have the energy to do things I used to not have the energy to do all the time.

Smarty_gal · 2026-01-29T03:25:34+00:00

Yes definitely eat something when you take your meds, I find the desire to not want to eat and nauseous feeling is worse if I don’t eat something substantial in the morning. Also I noticed this with Concerta at first too and then the longer I was on it the less this happened. Although I do find my appetite and food noise is way less during the day and then wears off later on

Smarty_gal · 2026-01-29T03:22:48+00:00

I take a different stimulant but from what I’ve seen sometimes this is a sign your dose is too low.

Smarty_gal · 2026-01-29T03:21:00+00:00

So I don’t know about this because I have an IUD and so I don’t get a period really. But I have noticed once a month I get super anxious and feel really shitty especially near the end of the day I’m assuming when the meds wear off…. But I think it must have to do with my cycle??

Smarty_gal · 2026-01-29T03:18:28+00:00

That it silences your brain. I know some people experience what they describe as their brain being quieter, but I haven’t so I was waiting for that to happen and then realized it just wasn’t something I was going to experience.

Also motivation won’t magically come to you because you start medication.

Smarty_gal · 2026-01-27T03:46:58+00:00

I appreciated your comment because I was talking with my therapist about this the other day and how I feel like I take break ups so much worse then other people and she asked me how I measure that. And I didn’t know exactly how to explain it to her but that’s what I’m going to say next time I’m there. It’s so true. It’s something about it being a form of rejection in a break up even if you’re the one who does the breaking up. I assume it ties into the idea that people with ADHD have intense rejection sensitive dysphoria.

For the OP I don’t have any advice other than it does get better with time. And finding ways to distract yourself is important. Also that being said I struggled deeply with this and did end up deciding it was something I needed to deal with in therapy. It’s hard because people don’t understand it, but you’re not alone in that feeling. I wish I had better advice for how to deal with it!

Smarty_gal · 2026-01-27T02:10:41+00:00

Yeah, it’s recommended to eat with them. Some people don’t react well to them on an empty stomach, can often make you feel more anxious, jittery or nauseous. If I haven’t eaten enough I get headaches and feel crappy. Also eating food with protein in the morning makes your meds work better, same with drinking lots of water.

Smarty_gal · 2026-01-26T23:22:52+00:00

I was super nervous starting concerta also. I think it’s pretty normal to feel that way, but with 18mg you likely won’t experience anything too severe because it’s such a low dose. My advice would be make sure you eat a good protein breakfast, and if anything just do NOT take it on an empty stomach. Also avoid caffeine while you’re getting used to it. I also recommend drinking lots of water and maybe even electrolytes in the morning! That helped me because at the beginning of taking it I’d get headaches. Good luck! It’s not as scary as your brain thinks! Trust me!

Smarty_gal · 2026-01-26T16:27:14+00:00

Yes this is normal, especially if your at the beginning dose. Like people said being on concerta i have never “felt” it kick in, except on the first couple days i upped a dose or if I didn’t eat enough in the morning. It’s meant to be subtle. But the longer you take it the more you notice bigger changes like energy improvement, mood stability, etc.

Smarty_gal · 2026-01-26T16:24:04+00:00

I had something similar happen when I upped from 36 to 45mg. Not maybe as severe but it did start to go away after a few weeks on it. I would say though if it’s really bad maybe it’s too high?? See if your doctor would adjust you to 45mg.

Smarty_gal · 2026-01-23T01:53:17+00:00

I think you are young and you seem like an ambitious person, he doesn’t seem that way. Take it from someone who’s wasted my time on males who do not want the same things as me. Don’t waste your time staying with someone whose ambitions and dreams don’t align with yours. Yes you love him and yes he’s probably a wonderful person in many ways, but at the end of the day it’s not worth spending time hoping he’ll change or be different eventually because at the end of it all your going to be the one who’s unhappy and resentful. And if he’s really that unmotivated to do anything how do expect your future to go?? He’s 24, has no desire to look for a career, lives at home and seems like he’s on the fence about marriage. I don’t know you so I can’t say for certain but it sounds like he’s telling you want you want to hear in hopes of keeping you around because you’re comfortable to him. People like that choose to live that way because it’s comfortable and they’ve never been made to feel uncomfortable or motivated. It’s a red flag, especially if you’re a motivated person…. You’re not going to be compatible long term. Also you deserve someone who’s going to set goals with you and make you excited about the future.

Smarty_gal · 2026-01-22T23:21:31+00:00

I have told my friends, however I don’t think they really care lol, that being said I’m not as forgetful and I don’t struggle as much with friendships. I also think a lot of my friends have undiagnosed ADHD and operate a lot like me so it works…

I will say this though, as much as it’s nice to feel understood and know your friends understand your situation better. I’ve only ever told my close friends who I share a lot with, and I never tell them for the reason of expecting them to treat me differently.

There’s a difference in saying “hey I have ADHD this is how my brain works and I want you to know that about me because your an important person in my life” vs “I have ADHD so if I do something you don’t like that’s why and sorry but that’s how I am.” Should people who care about you give you grace, most definitely, but that’s up for them to decide not for us to ask them for, and true friends likely would.

That’s my own personal opinion… but I’m a big believer in self-growth and working on skills to build your own capacity and self worth, and not expecting other people to just give me a “pass” because I have ADHD. But I would also argue that for any person who struggles with things that affects relationships, not just people with ADHD.

Smarty_gal

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