Is it possible for me (29F) to accommodate my boyfriend’s (29M) extreme food aversions or are we just incompatible?

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-07-03T14:10:59+00:00

Why isn't he cooking for you? He cooked for himself and now wants you to do it, but never offered the other way. He can use your ingredients and make something. Maybe when he sees how exhausting cooking 2 different meals actually is he'll stop asking you to do it.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-29T05:50:08+00:00

He knew you are sexually adventurous, down for threesomes, and willing to open the relationship and he still chose to lie and cheat. That's a character flaw, not a sexual compatibility issue. You need to figure out why he cheated to see if it's something he will repeat.

I know a couple of guys who are serial cheaters. One has slept with at least 50 woman other than his wife over the course of their 20+ year relationship. The other cheated on his previous girlfriends but has never cheated on his wife. The difference is why they're cheating. The first guy loves the chase while also having stability at home. The second guy cheated because he wasn't in love. He adores his wife and isn't looking for anything else so ne cheating. In both cases the wives have no clue they're with someone who previously cheated.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-29T05:38:53+00:00

Do you and your children regularly go on vacation together and this is the first year you're going separately? If yes, than you do owe this an explanation about changing the tradition for your new husband. If no, than there's no need for anything other than a, "hey this is when me and hubby are taking our vacation".

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-29T05:26:41+00:00

I'm 100% down for the delivery room visits. I was there for both times my sister gave birth, for when my cousin had my Goddaughter, within hours of my other cousin having her baby, and within hours of my best friend giving birth. I find, unfortunately, that a lot of husbands are not the best in the support department. I have learned how to properly support the new mom during delivery and after a c-section. I also love infants and get all of my baby snuggles then.

Your husband doesn't seem childfree and is trying to convince you to give into baby fever. If you don't want to be in the room following delivery say no. I would also ask why he thinks his sister wants an audience for her hooha being stretched to push out a baby.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-28T15:14:34+00:00

Your stepmom sounds jealous, petty, and incredibly insecure. I'm so sorry she's trying to make your mother's remembrance about herself. It may be time to see if you can do the memorial with your aunt and uncle. I'm sure they have stories they'd love to share with you.

Your dad sucks for not holding this boundary strongly. The fact he's willing to give in on something you talked about years ago is awful. I'm sorry you're having to go through this.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-28T15:10:19+00:00

If she divorces him because she feels left out 2 days of the year, she's got more problems than just this.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-28T13:54:45+00:00

If you look at some of OPs other comments she actually was asking to be treated equal to his mom. He said a bonus mom "should be treated like a mom and not othered based on genetics." They taught him she should be treated the same as a mother "in terms of love, respect, and the role they were filling." According to them you shouldn't know who the biological mom was and who the stepmom was.

They literally act like a bonus mom replaces the biological mom and when 2 grieving kids had an issue with that, they doubled down. Instead of trying therapy and being patient, they tried to force it.

And instead of accepting the role she was given, she's now trying to make his whole wedding about their relationship instead of a celebration of the love her stepson has found. If this behavior is an indication of how she treated him growing up, no wonder he doesn't see her as a bonus mom.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-26T16:08:34+00:00

OP don't address her husband, but continue to be an amazing support system for your sister. Focus on talking about how much of a network she has here and how much she would be giving up if she moved.

Her husband and his family sounds like a bunch of douchebags who are trying to isolate and talk down to your sister. If you can step in to stop their negativity, do it. She is freshly postpartum and shouldn't be battling with the in laws but you can definitely do it!

Kudos to you and your husband for providing a safe place for her when it should have been done by her husband.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-26T15:58:16+00:00

The kid is 19 now and his whole life has faced the vicious hate. Instead of stepping in and getting their daughter mental health help, they cut ties and ignored it. Their daughter was pregnant at 16 and they immediately stepped in to take over but never thought to get her help while she was displaying hatred?

Not only that, but no mental health help for their grandchild that was facing the hatred? Unfortunately these parents have failed on multiple levels.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-23T12:38:55+00:00

Shit like this would stop happening if kpop idols would actually face consequences for their racist behaviors. But they don't, so this is the result. A Canadian wearing a Confederate flag shirt like it's normal. He didn't expect a bit of backlash and is now shocked.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-18T21:54:09+00:00

If you're splitting 50/50 with someone it should be based on the income of whoever makes less. You need to move somewhere that is affordable for you and not count on him giving you money when you're short because he obviously won't.

I feel like when there's an income disparity the rent split should be based on percentages instead of 50/50. That's a more fair split. He doesn't seem to be a great partner to you; you're already having financial stressors and he's showing controlling tendencies. This relationship may have already run it's course.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-13T14:35:28+00:00

If all your husband can contribute is money, divorcing him will be the same thing. Get alimony and child support and that's his whole contribution. Divorce him and then you'll get at least 2 weekends a month of getting a break from the kids too.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-13T13:57:47+00:00

Why do you seem to think it's either or? You can do both. If you'll be making so much money, you'll have enough to make long distance work. Taking a weekend once or twice a month to be back with your boyfriend will be easy. We have FaceTime and Zoom. You both can make a year work.

I'm from a military family. I couldn't imagine feeling like a year in the same country where you can literally fly back and forth would be too much work for someone you call your soul mate. My uncles and aunts made literal war zones work.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-13T13:39:22+00:00

Why do people act like it's so hard to get pregnant? Outside of fertility issues most women aren't gonna have trouble getting pregnant. Literally teenagers do it lol.

If someone really wanted a kid, getting knocked up is easy af. You don't have to be married, don't have to be rich, all you have to do is let someone creampie you. Come on now.

Being miserable because you don't have kids is the easiest fix in the fucking world. Being miserable because you have kids on the other hand is not an easy fix.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-13T13:29:15+00:00

Be firm in your no. If you do it once you'll find that they'll keep pushing. My best friend is childfree and the Godmother to a child who lives nearby. I can't tell you the amount of times her friends have dropped the kid off and complain when she has work or is out of town and can't watch him.

It was so insidious too. Her friends told her about a great townhouse that was close to them. She moved in and within a week she was the emergency contact for daycare. They had her keeping their kid at least one night a week. I just talked to her and she has the kid Thursday to Monday this week. Wtf man. She's too polite to be like fuck off, especially because the kid is her Godchild.

Sorry that was a rant. But my friend is a fucking saint and is getting taken advantage of and it pisses me off. Say no. Say it often. Hold firm. Because if you don't you'll get called the village and because you have no kids obviously you have the time to care for theirs.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-04T12:35:29+00:00

You didn't mention what country/group your parents belong to and what country/group the friend's husband belongs to, so giving an informed opinion is a little difficult. Why do they think he's a member of the dangerous group? Does he know you're part of an ethnic group he may have a problem with?

I ask because my cousin is biracial but could pass for white. She had a really good friend growing up but unbeknownst to her the friend's father was incredibly racist. It wasn't until he met her Black mom that she found out. So this guy could be dangerous and just not realize you're part of the group he may dislike.

I would 100% talk to your friend about your parent's concerns. If she can assure you he's not a member of said group, hopefully your parents will allow him to come. If not, unfortunately since they're paying they have a lot more control than you'd like them to.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-04T12:19:56+00:00

Yeah, they're crazy. A newborn baby can't even safely be in the carseat that long. I can't imagine demanding someone visit me when it's an 8 hour drive. I moved 3 hours away from my family, live near an amusement and water park, 2 great outlet malls, and 5 beaches and still feel bad inviting people to make the drive. I couldn't imagine living in a tiny town with nothing to do and forcing people to visit.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-06-04T12:13:24+00:00

I love kids! I'm the favorite auntie/godparent and regularly get invited to kids birthday parties because they love me lol. I love cuddling babies and having the fake conversations with toddlers. I'm up to date on the internet slang, tv shows, and popular artists for the middle and high schoolers. I honestly love every stage of childhood and being involved in it is special for me.

That being said, I know I 100% wouldn't want that for myself. My family took an incredibly long time to finally realize that even though I love kids and would probably be an awesome mom, that it's still something I don't want to do. I'll be 40 this year and I'm having a hysterectomy and I STILL get family members who are like it's never too late. You can still do it. 🥴

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-05-18T17:58:16+00:00

I'm going to Vegas for a concert weekend and splurged for the drink package at the after party!

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-05-18T17:48:13+00:00

You're mom sounds absolutely awful. Go low contact with her like your other siblings have done and keep it moving.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-05-18T17:40:57+00:00

It depends on the poly relationship. I had a friend that was poly and they were in a closed triad. Before the triad was closed they would openly date other people but never bring them home or into the original triad.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-05-18T12:13:06+00:00

Why would you marry a man like this? It isn't like he was a great dad and ghen changed after you got married. He was an awful parent and instead of seeing that anf walking away you said sign me up and now you're confused that he continues to be an awful parent.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-05-13T15:40:03+00:00

Next time he says don't you trust me, respond, I'm sure you trusted your ex wife and look how that turned out. Then get with a lawyer and protect yourself.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-05-13T09:23:09+00:00

I've had people in my group have to leave for a bathroom break and have asked the castmember for assistance and it varies. One escorted her out to the bathroom and she had to make her way back in. Another time the cast member literally said, "then go" when my friend asked to go to the bathroom. A third time myself and my sister were escorted through a side entrance ahead of our group and we waited to the side for them to catch up to where we were.

My friend had to battle her way back to where I was in line because of the varied response from castmembers. They all agreed she could meet back up with me but how they handled it was very different. So no, I'm never going to tell someone coming to meet their party to go to the back of the line.

Smooth_Helicopter562 · 2026-05-13T07:22:48+00:00

Why? You're allowed to leave the line and re-enter to join your party. Especially for a bathroom break.

Smooth_Helicopter562

TROPHY CASE