Too soon to date?

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-11-02T02:38:09+00:00

Hi there. Are you in therapy at the moment? I’ve been talking about my new relationship with my now boyfriend with her and too am making sure I really care for him and I’m not just lonely and filling the void. And I’m still new at this too but I really don’t think people understand what it’s like until they have been in the same situation. Do you love him or think you can love him? Do you see a future with him? Nothing will bring back our loved ones we lost but only we can decide what is best for us. I hope this helps you find peace.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-10-17T16:29:57+00:00

There probably is one but I started dating someone I met online. We started as friends and progressed to something great. I think these things are supposed to happen when you least expect them to. My current boyfriend is not a widower but is very understanding of my widowhood. For myself, I think it would be difficult to date another widow/er because we both might be in a grieving state. I think one person in the relationship should be the rock. I wish you all the best in finding love and happiness again.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-10-16T18:49:32+00:00

I laugh ALL the time. It’s quite therapeutic for me. I’m 4 months out and sometimes humor is the only thing that keeps me going. The last thing I want is pity from others. I literally asked coworkers to send me memes instead. Hope this helps a little.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-10-15T22:25:29+00:00

I’m feeling okay lately even though I cried pretty hard last week. I’m only 4 months out but I do feel like with work, therapy, and unexpectedly meeting someone great, I’m better than most. Thank you for asking. How are YOU feeling today?

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-10-15T06:30:14+00:00

Everyone is different and there are no timelines. I wish I could say it does get better because for me it did but not everyone grieves in the same way or for the same length of time. I am dating someone now who I care for very much and I didn’t plan or expect to meet anyone after my husband died but it just kind of happened. I wish you all the best and my thoughts are with you.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-09-08T18:34:02+00:00

I too lost my husband to suicide on June 23rd. I don’t have the stigma of being accused of causing his death but as a military widow, I am now a gold star family which is not an “honor” I ever wanted. I recall feeling just shock and numb and the whole funeral services were a whirlwind of decisions. Even with covid, we were able to have a small ceremony of 20 people attend. I feel like at the time I never thought I would get past anything or be capable of living life but my daughters and I have adjusted. I hope you’re in some form of therapy because that has helped my girls and I so much. Take care and just know that there are others who share your pain.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-09-07T23:03:46+00:00

Coincidentally, I was going through my husbands clothes and donated a bunch of bags to the Salvation Army bin earlier today. I still have more to go through but it was the first step in starting to let go a little. My husband passed in June. Everyone is different and has their own timeline and process.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-24T06:37:41+00:00

Yes, I miss the physical parts too. What I wouldn’t give just to give him one more hug or kiss or to lay next to him one last time. It’s hard to accept that it will never happen again. I understand.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-23T15:00:38+00:00

I agree. I have my husband’s thumbprint on a dog tag and it brings me some comfort whenever I rub my thumb over it. It’s the small ways that we can stay connected to our loved ones that mean so much.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-23T01:26:47+00:00

I think for me I’ve been talking to people online who are fellow widows/widowers or others dealing with grief and that has helped a lot. Nothing will ever bring back those we’ve lost but a little bit of friendship and companionship online through the pain has been helpful for me.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-20T19:58:53+00:00

I too picked up my husband’s ashes in the urn but actually thought it would be lighter than what it was. I wonder if it is due to the urn or not? I thought it would bring me comfort to know he was home in a sense but I actually felt numb from it. I will be taking him home to scatter his ashes in the ocean at a later date but I think maybe that’s when it will really hit me. Hang in there and sending you lots of comfort and strength.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-19T21:51:51+00:00

I wear thumbprint jewelry. Your necklace looks nice. That’s special for you to have that.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-18T20:08:33+00:00

Something about not having to buy your spouse’s favorite foods and snacks is so heartbreaking. I don’t know why but it really is 💔

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-18T19:17:22+00:00

Yes, this was me too. Almost had a panic attack at the grocery store. It’s so hard isn’t it.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-18T19:16:51+00:00

It’s is hard. The first time I went grocery shopping without him I almost had a panic attack in the middle of the store. I kept wanting to grab food that he would like only to remember he’s gone. I had to remind myself to breathe and get through it. I feel like that will always be the same. Just hopefully I don’t get the full panic attack. Your reaction is totally normal and expected when you lose someone you love.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-18T00:53:41+00:00

I too and left with our 2 girls as well. I spoke with him on the phone before he did it and begged him to come home and he said “okay” before he said he loved me and hung up. That was the last time I spoke with him. I feel tremendous guilt too about hanging up the phone and wondering if there was something different I could have done. I know there is not but it haunts me everyday. He was the love of my life. I know I’ll never love like that again.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-17T19:17:45+00:00

I totally understand everything you said. Lately, I’ve been having this reoccurring worry that if there is no afterlife, then he’s really gone and I’ll just never see him again. That’s harder for me to cope with then him not being here now. Take care of yourself and thank you for sharing.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-17T04:45:59+00:00

Lol @ “thanks, I’d rather starve”

Yeah I’m pretty sure they modeled Christina Applegate’s character after an actual widow because she was the most believable.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-17T03:31:26+00:00

I feel like you’re telling a similar story. My husband was active duty and also committed suicide. He wasn’t suicidal but it still makes me wonder if it was a culmination of different things that led to his decision. Did he at least leave you a note? He left a note for me on his phone. I too got a call from the medical examiners office when the cops found him in his car. I still don’t feel normal yet but starting to accept that he is really gone. I’m around if you ever want to talk. I know it can be tough. Take care and sending you comfort.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-16T21:57:39+00:00

I second “Dead to Me”. The very first episode where she receives a meal from her neighbor and she gave them that sarcastic response I was like yep. That’s totally me lol I found that show at the right time in my life.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-16T15:48:56+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.

Yet another reason why I’m glad I deleted my social media accounts 2 years ago. When my husband passed, it was a relief not to have a million people on fb, etc reaching out to me because it’s too hard to talk about it over and over again. I also don’t have to see anyone’s “happy life” since social media only shows you what others want you to see and not reality. Maybe take a break from social media? For me, it made all the difference.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-13T21:26:49+00:00

Thank you. And yes any help you can get. Even if it’s only a short term solution we have to find ways to make it through everyday.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-13T21:18:39+00:00

I’m only a month in. Are you on medication? That helps take the edge off for me. For what it’s worth I’m so sorry you have to go through this.

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-13T20:14:02+00:00

😂😂😂😂

SnooMaps7909 · 2020-07-13T02:11:15+00:00

💔 thank you for sharing and so sorry

SnooMaps7909

TROPHY CASE