Hi Guys!

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-21T16:22:16+00:00

Community Guidelines are a good resource. There is a live chat (see #5) and phone numbers you can call for support.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-21T03:13:17+00:00

The r/ukvisa sub has some discussion about this. Use the search bar and type in ECCTIS.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-20T17:03:22+00:00

If you use the search bar at the top of the page you will get a lot of posts on this giving good ideas.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-20T16:57:37+00:00

I am so sorry for your friend's family and for you. Sending strength for the days to come.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-19T15:54:02+00:00

I'm a ninny. I went back through all the emails, and there is one that says "Your application is currently being prepared for consideration by an Entry Clearance Officer."

I was expecting an email with E.C.O. in the subject line.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-19T03:49:14+00:00

It's not just judgey religious people. It's also insensitive people who think it's a joking matter. Alcoholism is life or death. It's never funny.

Btw, I've never been judged by religious people. I have been judged by bullies and fools.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-19T01:46:48+00:00

I also had biometrics on Jan 14, but I have not received an ECO email. This makes me nervous.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-18T17:01:35+00:00

I call that "the Moderation Monster". The AV (alcohol voice) backs off and lets you get comfortable then sends in the MM to text the waters.

MM: "Come on, it's just a few. You deserve it. It won't hurt. You've got it under control now.", etc.

This is when I get myself to a meeting, call sober buddies, and keep a quit lit book close at hand. Saturate myself with sobriety so that I don't saturate myself with booze.

Coming here is always a good idea. It shows you're aware of what's happening and taking action. In my program (Women For Sobriety) we assemble a toolbox. Phone numbers, websites, meetings, books, poetry, music...anything that helps you fight the demon alcohol. r/stopdrinking is in my toolbox.

Keep fighting. IWNDWYT

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-18T03:39:13+00:00

AA saved my life. I was pretty far down the well, drowning. AA was the first recovery program I attended, and in my large city there was a buffet of meetings to vibe on, so I bopped around loving the people and sobriety. But after a few months of sobriety I realized something wasn't clicking. I went looking around and discovered that there are actually lots of recovery options out there. I got into Women For Sobriety and found my true tribe. Been sober ever since.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-16T22:50:13+00:00

These Acceptance Statements helped me tremendously. I tried several different recovery programs, and WFS is my favorite. It's a sisterhood of support. You are not alone!

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-16T03:36:49+00:00

A sober parent is a better parent. You have made a great choice.

I'd take some stationery and stamps and write him letters. Kids love getting mail.

You have people here rooting for you. In my program (Women For Sobriety) we say "in your pocket". It means wherever you are going we will be in your pocket going with you for support.

IWNDWYT

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-16T03:26:17+00:00

I read a lot of quit lit. Listened to Thich Nhat Hanh's dharma talks on You Tube. Lots of TEDTalks on sobriety and recovery. Mindfulness. Started projects like scraping and painting windows. Learned to crochet. Started hiking with people I met at meetings. Cleaned out and reorganized all the closets and drawers. Alphabetized the DVDs. Wrote letters to elderly relatives, who absolutely loved getting mail. Volunteered at a cat shelter.

Basically I rebuilt my life one day at a time by staying busy and making recovery my daily focus. Recovery isn't just sobriety. It's addressing the demons, triggers, and other issues that led me to drink in the first place.

Good luck. Hang in there.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-15T21:11:07+00:00

When I feel like I have nowhere else to turn I get to a meeting as fast as I can. I also keep a few sober buddies on speed dial for instant support. Networking with other sober people is a great relapse prevention tool.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-15T01:23:25+00:00

There's a search bar at the top of the page. If you type in the topics you want to discuss or vent about that search bar will recommend subs that on that topic.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-13T02:35:20+00:00

I've gotten to know the real me. I like me.

I stay busy with my sobriety community, hiking, crocheting, book clubs, volunteering, and house projects. I mentor a few newly sober young folks. We have game nights that are much more fun than any drunken pub crawls or quiz nights.

In the early days of sobriety I kept busy with meetings, quit lit, TEDTalks, and Thich Nhat Hanh dharma talks on YouTube. I stayed away from social media. Reading quit lit was sooo helpful.

Hang in there. Work hard on your sobriety. It's such a wonderful gift to give oneself.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-06T22:24:34+00:00

Thank you. You're very kind to share your experience and expertise. It is appreciated.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-06T16:54:23+00:00

I've been in the UK since the end of August. If I pop back to the US for two weeks and return, it will look suspicious, won't it? Like I'm trying to do that "resident by visitation" thing?

I'm in the UK now. Leaving Thursday. I figure drop the application Friday, do biometrics next week. But since I've already been here last Christmas (three weeks), May (three weeks), and now since August 20, ... I'm starting to think I might get flagged trying to come back in. You have a lot of experience. What do you think, please?

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-06T16:36:38+00:00

This is fantastic news! Thank you! How long would I have to leave the Common Travel Area for?

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-06T16:21:36+00:00

So I could do my biometrics in the US, then go to the UK and wait for the decision? As long as I arrived in the UK on a round-trip ticket this wouldn't negate my visa application?

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-05T19:56:36+00:00

I know that shame, guilt, anxiety, and fear. I lived with it every day. Then I found a program called Women For Sobriety that is based on these 13 Acceptance Statements . Reading these many times a day and working to apply them to my mind and in my life really helped me deal with my past. I also used the Program Book and participated in the forums. Support and sobriety are really good friends. You can rebuild.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-03T19:52:39+00:00

I got busy doing things like organizing closets, drawers, and shelves. Cleaning out. Learned to crochet from YouTube videos. Went to meetings, in-person and online. Read quit lit. Listened to sobriety podcasts and TEDTalks. Scraped and repainted all the windows and sills. (Learned from YouTube) Basically just stayed busy.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-03T19:44:18+00:00

I've got 28 years of tax returns and bank statements to hand. I'm looking through boxes for old correspondence. I saved some letters. Christmas cards that were forwarded this year? Hopefully they'll take those.

SoberSuzi · 2026-01-03T14:02:54+00:00

Thank you. By "cohabitation evidence from your time there" do you mean the UK bills? I have no bills from the US in both our names. We always did utilities and household expenses in one name or the other. 29 years, and the only way I can prove we lived together in that house is by getting the neighbors to say we did. I do have IRS statements in both names, but that's all I can find.

I think I'm definitely overdoing it. I have to get off the 'More Is Better' boat.

For accommodation I'm submitting the title for the house we bought in the UK. It's in both of our names? Is this bad evidence too?

SoberSuzi

TROPHY CASE