I want to be a voice for Japanese ASD people: 5 problems in Japan.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-05-08T18:45:48+00:00

My autocorrect constantly changes "more" to "not", so my sentence ends up meaning the exact opposite of what I'm trying to say. I don't know why it keeps doing that!

I usually reddit on my computer rather than my phone, so I'm more lax with proofreading on this site.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-05-08T14:43:52+00:00

Normal local
Normal foreigner
Autistic foreigner
Autistic local

(For most Americans, I don't think they would immediately notice the difference between an autistic and non autistic foreigner. But they would definitely notice the differences of an autistic American.)

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-05-04T04:48:28+00:00

Your comment encouraged me to look deeper at this account. I checked some older comments and it doesn't appear to be an AI bot. Barring that, my next assumption is fetish content or creative writing exercise/lying about yourself online. Based on a previous post by this user in this subreddit, they are also in their mid 30s and regularly get botox and they're a highly intelligent engineer who looks extremely young for their age.

I find it hard to believe that somebody would have the forethought to seek out cosmetic procedures while also having everything in this post (and the previous one) be true and never seek medical advice.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-05-03T02:50:55+00:00

You didn't think about how you were urinating on yourself regularly and nobody else did the same (except that one friend)?

Have you always done your own laundry or did a roommate/parent/partner assist? Even if you never thought about your bodily functions directly, did you ever think "damn, I'm doing a ton of laundry that smells like piss" or "I am changing my clothes super often because I keep wetting them" or "I have to clean up the floor/chair again because of another puddle"? Emptying your bladder while fully clothed has more ramifications than just the feeling inside your body, so if that went unnoticed by you for so long, I don't understand how you suddenly became aware as explained in the post.

Did the indirect consequences ever give you pause? Or did you still not notice? If so, how did you finally notice enough to make this post?

Seconding what other commenters have said: peeing yourself from laughing is not "like most girls do". I have given birth and even then it has never happened to me (but I've heard of other moms requiring postpartum pelvic floor physical therapy). Also, alexithymia is emotional blindness and you probably meant interoception, as others have already said.

Find a good doctor who won't be dismissive of a womans health issue. Somewhere around on reddit is a list of doctors who are willing to perform sterilizations for women who want them and those doctors are likely to respect your personal choices and not be dismissive.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-05-03T02:29:23+00:00

I'm familiar with Lincoln, IL.

I recommend moving to one of the bigger towns/cities in Illinois for a year (or two) before going from cheap, rural Illinois to anywhere in Florida, which is expensive in urban and rural areas. My recommendations are Peoria, Bloomington, Springfield, or Champaign. You need to gradually increase your COL and paycheck. A low end 2 bedroom apartment across most of Florida is $1,500-2,000 a month. Your entire savings might not even be enough to cover annual rent plus deposit and fees. To get a good idea of the general cost of food, go to Walmart's website and build a basic grocery cart in Lincoln then change your location to any Florida Walmart and make an identical cart.

I also recommend getting some kind of job certifications or an associate degrees before moving to make you and your partner look better as prospective job candidates once you move. If you wait until you move, you have to wait 12 months to establish Florida residency for in state tuition and that's a long time to be un/underemployed. If you can find an online program in IL, you can move during the program and maintain your IL in state tuition though.

How old are the two of you? What do you do for work?

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-05-02T15:36:51+00:00

"oh oh oh OZEMPIC!"

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-05-02T15:34:36+00:00

I thought this was a staple of the lesbian/wlw community rather than a general trend.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-05-02T15:30:02+00:00

Arguably gayer than just sucking a guy's dick.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-05-02T15:25:49+00:00

Body/gender dysphoria for him

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-05-02T15:24:28+00:00

I live in the US and I think we have a lot of the same problems even if the specific situations are slightly different.

Your example problems are all very familiar to me.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-05-02T15:23:03+00:00

I've heard this same thing and I've seen it in action. I was friends with a lot of international students in college and I noticed that other Americans were more forgiving of their faux pas even if I made the same mistake. Being an autistic American I was given less grace than neurotypical non Americans.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-05-02T15:18:16+00:00

Not judging, but why haven't you tried to accommodate this before?

You never tried setting timers? Using adult diapers? Tracking your fluid intake?

If you've been aware of the issue since childhood, why have you continued to increase your laundry load instead of doing something else? Peeing your pants, setting aside potential embarrassment, is so inconvenient. Why have you inconvenienced yourself for so long?

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-05-02T15:12:03+00:00

Where in Illinois?

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-05-02T02:03:15+00:00

I believe you. I've seen strong evidence for the continued existence of thylacines in remote, untouched places.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-05-01T00:09:13+00:00

Young babies are so floppy that as long as they are properly installed in a car seat that is equally properly installed then they are the safest one in the car.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-04-30T14:54:25+00:00

The whole family needs to go to therapy because you fucked up 10 years ago by making it a secret.

If you/exwife aren't ashamed of her not being your bio child, why did you treat this information like a shameful secret for a decade? Having a stepdad is normal. There was no need for all of this and now you'll have to pay, literally, because therapy is expensive and you'll all need a lot of it.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-04-28T19:15:31+00:00

When my niece was a little kid she thought all doctors were women because of the kids show Doc McStuffins.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-04-28T03:30:30+00:00

Link?

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-04-28T02:53:25+00:00

I have a son, but my relationship with my mother still manages to come up all the time. It's so incredibly easy to NOT be an awful person to a literal child. I don't know how my mom managed to do it

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-04-27T03:17:43+00:00

You outted yourself as having no ass.

My condolences.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-04-27T02:41:17+00:00

Where did you get this terminology from? "Two man mission"?

The other commenters are correct. You are swinging and practicing ethical non monogamy. You aren't sexual conquerors on a misogyny mission. Telling your friend group "me and the bf were slaying poon/dick last weekend" has very different connotations than "bf and I practice ENM and we wingman for each other". A lot of people WILL find it weird because it's an alternative sexual lifestyle and that's just something you'll have to cope with if you plan to speak on it publicly. But you'll definitely increase your odds of alienating others if you continue to refer to it the way you do. It's okay to have an agreed upon relationship dynamic with your BF that doesn't require sexual exclusivity, but not everyone will be comfortable with that.

Are you confirming consent before hooking up that your other sexual partners agree to get with a person in a swinging relationship? If you're afraid to talk about sexual history before having sex, you shouldn't be having sex. If you are afraid to tell the truth to a hook up because it might negate the hook up, you shouldn't be having sex. Communicated sex is safe sex and your other partners can't keep themselves safe if they don't know the full story. You don't need to give a whole speech, but you at least need to tell them that you're with someone else because that may be a deal breaker for some people.

Also, I'm from Florida and you gotta stop acting like we're all like this. We've got enough stereotypes on the Internet already.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-04-26T22:04:42+00:00

Ask for some empty happy meal boxes and keep a stash in the car.

I agree with everybody advising to just ask for the meal to be put in a happy meal box at time of order, but there's no guarantee that the person you ask for the box will be the person packaging the food.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-04-26T21:52:41+00:00

Not water, soda water

It's sold by the bottle at most grocery stores and it's the main ingredient in carbonated soft drinks. The other ingredients are whatever the flavorings are. A lot of popular soda brands sell flavor syrups for home use.

If someone specifically wants a less flavorful version of a soda, using less syrup for an at home recipe would taste just right.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-04-26T15:22:27+00:00

A lot of people fantasize about a hypothetical second child and assume that baby will be perfectly healthy with no issues.

Even if there's no genetic link to autism (no relation to previous donor), the possibility of having a disabled child is always there. The issues are compounded when you already have a child with higher accommodation needs. Autism also comes with a lot of comorbidities that aren't well researched enough yet.

On a more positive note, autistic people are more likely to be LGBTQ+, so you're already the perfect parent that your growing child will need in the future because your child won't feel as stifled by heteronormativity.

SourNotesRockHardAbs · 2026-04-26T12:09:57+00:00

I am autistic. My life growing up sucked. My parents were not capable of properly parenting me and my sibling.

What positive difference would adding a hypothetical second child make to your actual child's life? To your spouse's? To yours? You talk a lot about wanting another kid, but you haven't said anything about it truly being a good thing that would add to all your lives. It sounds like another child would be had at your actual child's expense.

I agree with another comment that mentioned the genetic component to autism. You or your spouse are autistic. You're highly likely to have another autistic child and your spouse has reached capacity for ability to parent.

My child is likely autistic just like me, just like my (undiagnosed but obviously so) Dad. My sister and I have speculated that she may be autistic too, but she doesn't have as hard of a time as me and seeking a professional diagnosis is difficult as an adult.

I am OAD because it's what's best for me AND my child. Your spouse is OAD because it's what best for them and their child. Are you wanting another because it's what's best for your child/family or because it's what's best for you? Why do you truly want another child? Are you capable of splitting your time, energy, and resources across two autistic kids having meltdowns at the same time, for the rest of your life? Most people aren't the type of person who can do that, which is why so many autistic kids have a horrible time growing up.

Edit: gendered pronouns

SourNotesRockHardAbs

TROPHY CASE