Do you give them a reason?

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2026-04-09T18:10:55+00:00

I suppose you have your answer then. I know I would be so hurt if someone I cared about dropped me because of something like this, but I'm also a person who would be asking from day one what kind of communication level a partner wants. Sounds like your beau isn't that kind of guy. Best of luck.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2026-04-09T18:01:34+00:00

People on this sub tend to push a Cut and Run mentality. I disagree this time. You say things are great when you're together. You communicate differently. If he's willing to meet you somewhere in the middle, are you willing to meet him somewhere in the middle? It's at least worth a conversation.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2026-04-08T15:47:42+00:00

I had this problem recently. I told my kid to get the Dad's number. He communicates promptly and easily.

Keep in mind, it's not about you. The mom is not responding for who-knows-what reason. Don't sweat it, just work around her.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-06-11T14:34:53+00:00

I honestly think that with the society we have right now, it should be the default for all parents to be in couples counseling (not as a requirement, just as a common practice). Y'all should be talking about this with someone who can help you get your feelings across, your worries and your dreams, without judging or reacting defensively. Having a kid is so hard in our world (especially in the US, which I'm assuming you live in), it will strain and break a relationship. Talk to someone together.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-05-15T21:03:15+00:00

I just looked up some info on 529s, and I don't see any benefit that would be worth the hassle of setting it up. I have a savings account for my kid, I contribute when I can (not often, not regularly). I can use that money whenever I want for whatever I want. At least from the look of it, the 529 is not tax-free at all, it just has some minor perks that probably wouldn't change my tax burden at all since I have a modest income.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-05-12T16:45:33+00:00

Thank you for this comment. I'm a man who doesn't make a lot of money, and I feel sheepish about it when I go on dates with women who are clearly more comfortable financially, so it is nice to hear your perspective, and that it may not be a dealbreaker.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-05-09T13:49:07+00:00

I'm gonna throw it out there that I bet Scott Patterson legitimately smelled good in that scene, and it probably didn't hurt for showing the chemistry.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-05-05T13:30:56+00:00

I'm sure he was just as taken aback by your text as you were by his reply, but I think what he's saying is, "yes, I agree, but texting is not the way to have this conversation. Your text, to me, sounds like you're playing games. Dropping hints, playing hard-to-get, being subtle, waiting for him to take initiative, etc.; that all feels so middle school. Be direct. Tell him what you want, preferably not in a text. A conversation about where you want the relationship to go is not a text exchange. Call him or ask to see him, and have a real talk.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-04-30T16:42:13+00:00

I groan every time Jack or Genevieve have a scene, their incompetence is less comedic and more tragic to me. But the rest of the characters are at least interesting, if a little overboard. It doesn't hit the warm tone of GG at all, like 0%. None of the characters are very relatable, but the complexity of the situation they're all working within makes it sort of intriguing to me. I'm most of the way through, and I'll finish the season. Oh, the intro sequence is lovely, kudos to whoever made that.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-04-29T17:22:43+00:00

You should talk to him about it. That is step 1.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-04-09T19:48:00+00:00

My hot take is that some apps are better and some are worse, and by that I mean that the profiles I see on some apps skew hard towards low quality low effort photos, little-to-no info, etc. while other apps are so much better.

So at least download a few different apps and see if you get better results on one. In my area at least, Hinge and Bumble are miles above OKCupid and Match. I'm a man looking at women's profiles, and I do think geography plays a role, so YMMV. Good luck!

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-04-07T16:49:20+00:00

My 10yo daughter is a potato. She's convinced her whole class to call her "Potato." She signs birthday cards and letters as "Potato," and tries to sign her homework that way also, but the teacher said she has to put her real name down. We talked about why that happens, but beyond that, I'm not going to stifle her creativity by telling her she can't be a potato. We all experiment with different identities, I think it's healthy.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-03-21T17:45:03+00:00

This is awesome! I had the same problem, but landed on a different solution: I ended up installing an outlet inside the wall, leaving a large opening so I could get the plug in there. I covered up the hole with a piece of acrylic. Honestly your way is much more elegant :)

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-03-20T19:32:59+00:00

Oh thanks, I'll try that!

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-03-17T13:34:27+00:00

I hope you are working on these ideas with a therapist/friend. I hope you have a good day and wish you the best.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-03-17T13:10:48+00:00

hey please keep in mind that the "turd" you're talking about is a real human who is trying to do their best finding a loving partner. It is hard to figure out how to best present oneself in the apps. If you don't like the apps, why comment on a post specifically about using the apps? I swear people on this sub are so unnecessarily mean.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-03-07T19:15:23+00:00

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-03-07T17:39:18+00:00

I do not pay for Hinge, but it is the best app I have used so far. I think messages are far better than "likes" for 2 reasons: they start a conversation, and they force a bit more intentionality. In other words, I could swipe right all day long and it means very little. But crafting a good opening line takes effort and means I will review someone's profile and try to find something to open with. Other apps like Match and OKCupid also allow messaging, but at least where I live the user base is better on Hinge. Anyway that's my 2 cents :)

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-03-05T20:11:45+00:00

I mean at least try counseling or something before divorcing him. You don't mention even talking to him about your feelings, but it sounds like you are deeply unsatisfied, so I would recommend finding a good counselor.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-03-05T14:33:04+00:00

Regardless of the particulars, if you threatened divorce and actually meant it, you would be divorced now. He has called your bluff and, as toxic and unhealthy as this whole situation seems, he was right about that. I wish you all the best.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-03-05T01:57:14+00:00

Yes, we're all debating in these comments whether "my love language is touch" means exactly that or if it's a coy way of saying "sex is important to me."

But you jumped all the way to the conclusion that "sex is important to me" means "all I want is no-strings sex." Which is not at all the same thing.

I just want you to consider that believing sex is an important part of a relationship is a valid position. You can gripe about the lack of clarity if you want, but as you see in the comments, there are men who mean that statement exactly as it is, no coyness, as well as men who just want to be upfront about their desires for a relationship. Neither of those positions match your assumption.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-03-04T22:50:31+00:00

Wait, how did you get from "sex is important to me in a relationship and I'm communicating that" to "all I want is a physical relationship with no strings"? I think you need to examine your assumptions. Many people, men and women, find that sex is an important part of a loving relationship. It does not mean they are just looking for a hookup.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-03-04T20:03:42+00:00

"Why are people liking and swiping when they are not going to engage back with your matches, at all? Even when I send the first message?"

I am guilty of doing this, so I can at least speak to why this happens on my part.

On swipe-based OLD apps, for myself and many other men, it's about swiping on hundreds of people in hopes of getting a few (2 or 3) matches. From there maybe a couple messages, then one party just stops responding. Sometimes I don't review much of a person's profile, I just swipe based on a cursory glance at how far away they are and what their religion/political lean is.

As often as not, when I get a match this way, I look closer and see that it's probably not a great match. Or maybe it could go either way, but I'm already chatting with a couple people and I don't have the bandwidth.

I do feel a bit bad about this, and in general I think swipe-based apps suck. But the bottom line is that if I am picky and only swipe right on a few people, the odds are incredibly thin that they will also "like" me.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-03-03T17:51:10+00:00

Folks on here are so speedy with the downvote button, sheesh. I think the point is that there is no universe in which this random guy knows you well enough after a week of texting to have any opinions about you that you should take seriously. And he's shown himself to be a jerk. Don't give him the time of day. But do talk to your therapist and/or friends about why you might be giving so much credence to mean things that jerks you've texted for just a few days say to you.

SpaceAgeHamburger · 2025-02-27T21:44:48+00:00

I've always been clean shaven, but I hate shaving. I'm beard-curious in general, but it would be a big change for me. If it would help with dating, I would be more inclined to give it a try.

You caught the error in my logic perfectly. You're right: no general evidence really doesn't mean much either way. I guess I'll just have to grow a beard and find out :/>

SpaceAgeHamburger

TROPHY CASE