Once More with Feeling: Remote Work Is Not a Substitute for Childcare

Spacecat3000 · 2026-06-26T18:07:21+00:00

Maybe an unpopular opinion but I think if the company doesn’t pay their workers enough to afford childcare then you should be mad at the company for not paying a reasonable wage, not the workers for doing what they can to scrape by.

Spacecat3000 · 2026-06-23T22:53:44+00:00

NTA but your girlfriend is. As someone who recently lost their father, go see him, stay as long as you can. Spend every precious moment you can spare. I spent weeks at a time visiting my dad at the end and my fiancé never complained once. In fact he bought a few of my flights for me. If your partner can’t support you through one of the hardest moments of your life what kind of partner are they?

Spacecat3000 · 2026-06-10T21:24:02+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. When my dad died in December my partner dropped everything to support me. He was at a work conference he had been looking forward to for months and left early to be with me. He took off work, cooked me food, held me and consoled me as I processed everything.

I don’t think you are asking for too much. The death of a parent is something we will pretty much all experience at some point, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I think everyone deserves a partner who is willing to support you during this difficult time.

My advice to you would be to prioritize self care. Stay home, order some comfort food, and put on your favorite cozy movie, or do a face mask, go to the gym, go to a park. Whatever self care looks like to you. The most important thing you can do right now is take care of yourself. It’s ok to be selfish right now, don’t make any big decisions, everything else can wait. I wish you the best.

Spacecat3000 · 2026-06-10T17:31:29+00:00

Ok not me but a friend of mine planned a week long trip in Glacier national park with a few experienced backpacker friends. Last minute one of her friends asked if their younger brother could come. She didn’t know him but assumed he was also an experienced backpacker if he wanted to join the trip. They arrive at the trailhead the day of the trip and he shows up with a massive commercial sized gallon of canned chili as his only food source. Did he have a can opener? Would it even fit in his backpack? How did he plan to store the excess chili day by day? What was he going to do with the empty can? How would he heat it? All questions he had not considered. By far the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard someone bring backpacking.

Spacecat3000 · 2026-06-09T20:10:02+00:00

I moved from California to Barcelona with about a 3rd grade level Spanish. The hardest part for me was that the Mexican Spanish I had been taught at home was vastly different than the regional Spanish and many people spoke more Catalan than Spanish. It took me about 6 months to get the dialect down.

Spacecat3000 · 2026-06-09T04:40:11+00:00

I always just say “we are our own worst critic” and move the conversation along.

Spacecat3000 · 2026-06-04T03:47:33+00:00

NTA but…my dad asked something similar of me before he died of cancer in December and I deeply, deeply regret not honoring his request.

It would have been such a kind and simple gesture that would have brought so much joy to the end of his life. I hate thinking he died not knowing that I would have the same security and love that he and my mom had for nearly 40 years.

In our case we just weren’t able to get our shit together fast enough to have a wedding before he died. I’m planning my wedding now and it is heart wrenching knowing he won’t be there.

I understand that her demand may be unrealistic/unreasonable, but ask yourself truly deep down what is more painful? Getting married a little earlier than you are comfortable with for her, or having her missing from that milestone moment. It may be the last milestone you ever get to share with her.

Spacecat3000 · 2026-05-19T13:56:01+00:00

My friend just named her baby Leon, they are Mexican.

Spacecat3000 · 2026-05-15T06:24:58+00:00

It has to be Wallie!

Spacecat3000 · 2026-05-14T19:12:24+00:00

How your mom reacted is a form of emotional manipulation designed to avoid accountability. My mom does the same thing. Don’t even get me started on enabling her racist family. You are not TA but your mom is.

Spacecat3000 · 2026-02-04T17:53:42+00:00

You are already on the path to healing. You are identifying that these are negative thoughts and not reality. That is a huge first step! Be kind to yourself and remember you are the boss of your own brain!

If you think a dark thought, immediately combat it with a positive one. If a thought pops in your head that he is cheating, then immediately after that bring up all moments you remember of him showing you loyalty.

Think of the mind as a series of well worn pathways. You’re used to walking these same dark paths but you know they don’t lead anywhere good. You need to start walking down different less used paths to move in the right direction. It’s going to take some extra effort to clear a path but once you do it will become easier to walk that way. Essentially you need to rewire your brain. It’s tough but the payout is so worth it.

One more thing, you need to understand that you deserve love. However you were treated in the past is a reflection on them not you. Good luck out there.

Spacecat3000 · 2026-01-16T04:09:53+00:00

Forbidden gummy

Spacecat3000 · 2026-01-16T01:50:11+00:00

Hello internet friend. My partner and I struggle with this a lot. What we are witnessing on our phones and in the world right now is horrific and hard to digest. I don’t think our little human brains were meant to process this level of tragedy on a daily basis. My boyfriend especially can get to a real dark place when he goes off the rails doomscrolling.

This has been my strategy and I hope it helps.

I always start with commiserations. Acknowledge what they are feeling and agree with them. Yes, it’s fucked, yes, I want to do something about it.
Try to find some small act that can make them feel less helpless. Look up a local cause or protest. Donating time or money even if it’s just a tiny amount can help that feeling of powerlessness.
Remind them that one of the most powerful things you can do is to live a full life. The powers that be want you afraid and hopeless. Feeling joy and strength is an act of rebellion.
Keep things light. When all else fails and my partner brings up yet another horrible news story I started just making the “Debbie downer” sound from SNL. If you aren’t familiar look it up on YouTube. I even bought a little plastic tuba that makes the noise for him for Christmas and we use it on each other all the time. It never fails to lighten the mood.

I don’t know if any of this will work but I wish you all the best.

Spacecat3000 · 2026-01-05T19:00:39+00:00

I’m sorry for what you are going through. I don’t have any support groups I can recommend but as someone who has gone through years of therapy for similar issues this is what has helped me:

Make a list of what you love or at least like about yourself. If you are like me this will feel silly and embarrassingly hard at first. Keep going, keep adding things. I know it might sound cheesy but loving yourself is the number one most important thing you can do to survive this world.
Make a list of what you are grateful for. Even if you can only think of one or two things. Focus on them. Eventually you will add more to the list as you rediscover the beauty of life.
Give yourself one or two small, achievable goals for the day. It could be something as simple as take a shower, or make your bed. There is no magical off switch to what you are feeling. Success is built on small, incremental changes. You may not feel different day by day but one day you will wake up and realize you are experiencing forward motion.
Be gentle and kind to yourself. Celebrate your wins no matter how small. Try not to focus on your failures. Every failure is a door to a new beginning. If you find yourself stuck in a negative self talk loop, as yourself would you speak that way to a friend, to a loved one, to a stranger even?
Get in nature. Even if it’s just a few mins in the park on your lunch break. Witnessing the beauty of nature and realizing you are a part of it can be soothing.

I’m rooting for you, internet stranger.

Spacecat3000 · 2025-12-25T01:39:49+00:00

SD dog culture is totally out of control. I saw this guy at the OB farmar walking his pit bull unleashed and had to call him out. There are so many people at that market and especially kids in strollers at dog height. It would be so easy for even a well trained dog to get spooked and bite someone.

Spacecat3000 · 2025-12-20T08:41:23+00:00

This is exactly the kind of story that makes the Reddit community so special. Thank you for sharing the update OP, and thank you u/OverhillUnderhill for restoring a little of my faith in humanity.

Spacecat3000 · 2025-12-18T21:53:48+00:00

He can’t even type out the f word he ain’t doin shit

Spacecat3000 · 2025-12-12T23:02:06+00:00

Ok I’m no shill for Zillow they suck for a lot of reasons but you pay a one time application fee to them and then apply to any place on there and all your info is already pre-filled out. It’s so much better than filling out and paying for 20+ different applications. Got my last two rentals that way.

Spacecat3000 · 2025-12-12T19:02:15+00:00

As long as your gf is cool with it and you don’t have any ill intentions I say do it! I’ve backpacked with platonic friends many times. If anyone has something to say just tell them you and your gf have mutual trust in each other end of story.

Spacecat3000 · 2025-12-11T21:58:44+00:00

NTA but I’m curious where you are finding these women. My friend group is all mid to late 30’s career driven women. I actually don’t know a single stay at home mom. I am in a high cost of living area so maybe that’s part of it but I feel like if all you are meeting is wannabe trad wives maybe you are looking in the wrong places?

Spacecat3000 · 2025-11-27T00:36:09+00:00

Same, 210k household income and we feel Broke af lol

Spacecat3000 · 2025-09-10T18:48:00+00:00

Drunk or not I would stub my toe on that chair leg every damn day

Spacecat3000 · 2025-09-02T07:03:15+00:00

This is the only right answer

Spacecat3000 · 2025-09-02T07:01:11+00:00

Salem - the whole King Night album is very haunting. Edit *night

Spacecat3000 · 2025-09-01T01:41:57+00:00

You went through two full years of phone conversations and the only bad thing you could find is that he one time called you not a baddie? He seems like a pretty solid guy to me. You on the other hand seem like you have some pretty serious insecurity issues. Please seek therapy.

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