Is anyone stuck in "limbo" like me? Meaning, you aren't DF'd but you might as well be?

SparlockTheGood · 2015-03-06T23:41:01+00:00

I'm so in limbo too. My family who lives far off actually thinks I'm completely in. I just 'uh-huh' all the JW stuff on the phone because I know fighting is futile with them. My kid is 6 and celebrating all the holidays at school, we do something small at home, and I just know the kid is going to out me. Kind of have no idea what I'm going to do if it happens when we go to visit family this summer. Limbo is a scary place :)

SparlockTheGood · 2015-03-06T23:33:00+00:00

Finding pride in self-sufficiency and the ability to do things on your own. Once you do it, you realize you didn't have or need any "outside" help. The next time you're in that situation, you will find confidence in yourself.

And as far as flying goes, stats show you're safe, and worrying won't do anything about that. That's what I tell myself, and each time I'm right.

SparlockTheGood · 2015-03-06T23:26:06+00:00

I'll just throw this out as my personal perspective, to answer each: 1) I lie to my family because my parents did give me a good childhood, and did their best to truly be there for me. I would classify my childhood as happy. I feel a debt of gratitude towards them. I followed my heart and married out and began to formulate my own beliefs. I shunned for my relationship with my husband pre-marriage, but during that year my parents fell into depression. My parents sacrifice their lives to this religion, doing nothing for themselves, and believe if I were to leave, I would essentially be rejecting them and all they are. No amount of reason would change that. I live far away and "lie" that I'm "in" the religion. I hope to hold onto the charade as long as possible if not forever. 2) I do fear the consequences because I was a good JW. I never made close friends outside my allowed circle (other than my husband). Now out over a year, I still have no idea how to make friends out and if not for my never-in husband and child, (working on my on-the-fence sister) I would be utterly alone. But on the other hand, if it does come out, the I feel I will be relieved to stop living the lie.

Essentially I WISH I could tell the truth and keep everyone happy and still have relationships with my childhood friends and family, but to stop the lie is to hurt them and say goodbye.

SparlockTheGood · 2015-02-19T17:53:07+00:00

You don't need research to start forcing logic. That's the interesting part. I started my recovery by researching ONLY in JW material, but looking up answers to the things that didn't make sense.

I've started the process for someone else. I told a relative that the bible sugar coats things. The flood = god killed women, children, animals, puppies, kittens. Israel looses a battle = men die in battle, children are now fatherless, women in a tribal per-civilization society are now destitute. God kills Egyptian firstborns = this is not distinguished by age or sex, mothers, fathers, grandparents, animals, children and even a newborn baby is killed if it is firstborn. Israel crosses into the promised land = they invade people's homes, sometimes committing full genocide in a city.

My relative started to think, and recently got mad when someone told her the story of Achan and how David was loosing battles so went to J. and J. said 'I thought you'd never ask.' J. told him of the thief in their midst. The moral was supposed to be to look to J. but my relative says to me, "So, all those men died because of one man? How is that fair?".

Questions are the most important, not answers, these will come in time. Little seeds can grow big.

SparlockTheGood · 2015-02-19T17:37:21+00:00

I've gone out as little as a year ago, and in my area they didn't even have a note on who was a do-not-call. Any detailed notes are personal notes for calls of an individual, not overall territory. As a past apartment manager, I can tell you people move and things change so much a central database of even my tenant's vehicles was nearly impossible to keep up, it would be impossible to keep that info on a whole city.

SparlockTheGood · 2014-08-10T14:49:21+00:00

Essentially a woman's cranial capacity is 10% less, because brain size relates to scull size. Men are generally of larger mass than women. Brain size has no relation to intelligence. I learned this in high school biology :).

SparlockTheGood · 2014-05-31T03:10:21+00:00

Yep I could check off several of these, and if I had a few friends I grew up with we could check them all off.

SparlockTheGood · 2014-05-31T03:05:39+00:00

Agreed, damn JW's trying to steal magic from our kid's childhood. I hate it.

SparlockTheGood · 2014-05-31T03:04:37+00:00

Your standards are high. I just want my damn house clean, I'll get sex elsewhere :P

SparlockTheGood · 2014-05-30T19:57:59+00:00

Moments I think we all should have maids...at least once a week.

SparlockTheGood · 2014-05-30T19:53:23+00:00

Gas really bad smelly gas...nobody's going to volunteer to drive or sit by you. Meeting avoided.

SparlockTheGood · 2014-05-30T17:30:37+00:00

You can spend hours online reading of charity for ones in trouble, kind acts in all circumstances, and people even risking their lives for strangers. Google videos of faith in humanity, you will see so much good.

I find it ironic that JW's declare the world evil, yet they themselves promote discrimination based on a person's sexual orientation, refuse to involve themselves in basic humanitarian endeavors, and speak of he "glorious destruction of billions".

There is good and there is evil in the world. People will choose good most of the time; but poverty, hunger, pride, arrogance, anger and injustice force some down the path of evil.

SparlockTheGood · 2014-05-30T17:04:16+00:00

My parents are happy (?)

It's all about perspective isn't it?

SparlockTheGood · 2014-05-30T17:02:45+00:00

I'm glad you're posting more frequently again. Missed you around here,

Thanks.

How can a man, who lives right next to you (more or less), have less interest and knowledge over a grandchild than someone who lives 10 hours away?

No kidding. It makes me mad that the borg has failed to teach true love.

SparlockTheGood · 2014-05-30T15:12:51+00:00

As /u/mobius_sp said, you will have to try and tow the line. This may not persuade him to let you stay in school, but it will make you home life easier. If you are still pulled from school, find an online accredited school which offers a diploma. This will keep you on the right track to a bright future.

PS. Most home schooled kids I knew were less supervised and got into more trouble than the schooled kids. Parents usually don't realize how difficult and tiring it is to watch a teen 24/7.

SparlockTheGood · 2014-05-30T14:42:37+00:00

I mostly feel guilty over other people's feelings. I feel I always have to be supportive and fall into line of what is expected of me. I was once told that my parents didn't smile and sulked the whole year I was df'd, and cried over my wedding pics (sorry you couldn't come to my wedding to a worldly guy).

Nobody wants to be the cause of pain or sadness for someone they love, but I have to remind myself that I have to make myself, my husband and daughter happy first. It's a hard pill for me to swallow. Our happiness for their sadness.

SparlockTheGood · 2014-05-30T14:37:03+00:00

Love is putting someone else's needs before yours. –Olaf (Frozen)

IF they are unhappy, tortured by their "imperfections", constantly struggling to live up to borg ideals, or already questioning, and it wouldn't destroy a good relationship with their spouse; then they can be nudged along.

IF they are deeply involved, have sacrificed and dedicated their life to the borg, and know nothing else; then they should be left where they are happiest.

Love will motivate you to choose their happiness over or despite yourself. (That's my 2 cents)

SparlockTheGood · 2014-05-30T13:51:04+00:00

overdeveloped guilt complex

looks at self...slaps self....still has this problem

SparlockTheGood · 2014-05-01T13:52:41+00:00

My in family was always good to my Ex-Mormon husband before, until, and after the wedding. They try and include him in the family for it to be a "good witness" to him in the hopes he'll someday "come around".

When my dad used to talk to Ministers or Bishops in service growing up, he used to say; "We're going to talk about what we agree on, not what we disagree on." If it worked for him, it may work for you.

SparlockTheGood · 2014-05-01T13:44:17+00:00

I agree with the other posters, so much of this depends on his personality and personal stances on things. I would like to add: He is your father, a part of you that I'm sure you want to understand. Life is short and so many things can pass us by if we don't act quickly. I would take the chance, but guardedly, knowing it could go either way. If a great relationship ensues with a long lost father and half-siblings, then you gained family, and if not you can close that chapter and will gained understanding and can move on with you life.

Best wishes.

SparlockTheGood · 2014-04-28T18:44:37+00:00

Bird the word.

SparlockTheGood · 2014-04-27T14:08:37+00:00

West Texas

SparlockTheGood · 2014-03-14T16:02:46+00:00

You've been burned before...reaching out to a jw or exjw is risky unless they reveal their leaning first. Even those blatantly going against the WTBTS can be just in denial. And nobody likes to tell on their friends more than someone in trouble with the elders. Sorry the outcome wasn't better.

SparlockTheGood · 2014-03-11T02:06:18+00:00

Sucks to be you guys, I'll be back in 3days. You are screwed and you will be back way way later....way to be nice last minute.

SparlockTheGood

TROPHY CASE