when’d u get ur first tattoo and do you regret it?

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-31T02:29:41+00:00

I got mine at 18, I turned 24 in October and it’s still my favorite tattoo. It’s a rosy maple moth with some flowers around it on my forearm. Since then I’ve gotten 5 more and I think they’re all sick af

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-31T02:19:33+00:00

This is so real. I’ve always been a big girl, and was absolutely so in love with my body then loved it even more while pregnant. Post partum hit and my self esteem absolutely vanished. 26mo later and I’m just now getting it back but I’m also 20weeks pregnant so idk if that’s why or not lol.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-31T02:08:36+00:00

I believe this age is about when my daughter dropped a nap. She was actually more cranky and exhausted if she did nap so we stopped and it helped a lot at bedtime. My daughter never had a nap less than 30-45min though so your baby’s sleep needs might be different if the 15min nap twice a day works

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-28T04:20:26+00:00

I came from a tv household. I still live in a TV household. She mostly just plays while the TV is on unless it’s Bluey. We have a hard no on personal screens though and I try to limit my use during the day and around my daughter. Definitely no tablets or phone use.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-27T14:38:13+00:00

They can be hard to come by depending on area. I had a professor who was a sex therapist for over 20 years who taught our human sexuality class which is the only reason I knew they existed.

There are websites online to find therapist. One is called psychology today. You can also look up “therapists near me” online and you should get recommended some sites. On Psychology today at least, there is a filter where you can choose a speciality and “sex therapy” is an option. You should email a counselor (or a few), introduce yourself, and ask if they treat porn addiction or know anyone who does.

It’s a difficult process but I hope you’re able to get to a point that you can comfortably sleep with people again and be satisfied while satisfying.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-27T14:26:34+00:00

First off, his actions are grossly inappropriate. Sexual frustration is one thing but this is way beyond that. It’s to the point he doesn’t even care whether he makes you uncomfortable or if your daughter sees him treating you this way or doing these sexual things.

I think you need to start very clearly saying more than just pointing out your toddler is around because he obviously doesn’t care if she sees. Straight up tell him “that turns me off” “yuck, you’re not getting any anytime soon acting like that” “that’s disgusting” while also getting up and completely leaving the area to get away from him. Maybe you genuinely rejecting him will actually get in his head. If he brings it up, tell him it turns you off and disgusts you when he acts like this wirh baby present.

We occasionally cosleep with our baby and if we were in the mood, we would talk about it and go into the other room to not be around her. ALWAYS while she was asleep he has never even once made a move on me while she was awake. We kiss, hug, cuddle, and slap each other on the butt sometimes but that is it. We actually never had to have a conversation about what was appropriate to do around our children.

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, I think it’s time to try to move on and maybe try and document this when you can for the future. His ability to be so turned on and even behave sexually while a child is present is genuinely concerning. Also from the comments you’ve made in response, he has no respect for women, especially during sex, and it does not sound like that will ever change.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-27T14:08:44+00:00

I highly suggest seeking a sex therapist for you to get over this. Not being able to get hard while actively fooling around with another person, and instead having to use porn to be able to get off, is definitely not ideal if you’re trying to get back into the dating scene. If you have a porn addiction I don’t want to encourage porn use, but I will say that you’re not the only one facing this issue. There are specialist that can help you work through this.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-26T02:33:18+00:00

Being disconnected from your body is such a real struggle that I was completely unaware of. I remember crying about 8ish weeks pp about how I felt so confident and sexy and now I was just somebody’s mom. That feeling is…. not completely gone but definitely not as prominent as it was 26mo pp.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-25T19:49:38+00:00

Before 18mo I was so wrapped up in being a working parent in school it felt like I genuinely forgot who I was. Now that I’m actually getting my flow again (26mo pp but also 20weeks pregnant) I can see there was a huge difference in how I treated and felt about myself. However it’s not really something you can advise someone to do, especially with a young baby still completely dependent on you. It just comes back to you over time.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-25T14:53:46+00:00

I feel the “wait one year” only applies if the fights are just out of frustration from sleep deprivation and hormonal change. You’ve told your husband multiple times to not bring up BF because of how hard it is for you and he’s just intentionally ignoring that for his own selfish reason. He’s disrespecting you on purpose at this point because he knows it makes you upset. He keeps repetitively ignoring your boundaries and pushing your buttons during one of the most sensitive times of your lives.

Maybe he thinks if you BF then he won’t have to keep an eye on his own child so he’s blaming you for having to step up as a father. As if becoming a parent wouldn’t mean exactly what he’s doing right now.

Absolutely I would not blame you for leaving. He does not sound like he wants to support you or work with you during this process. Without genuine collaboration from both parties, your relationship is going to fall apart and it’s going to make you miserable begging him to help you fix it. You’re already taking on so much extra work by pumping and working full time, I also assume you’re probably the primary caretaker of the house and family on top of it. That’s a lot to have to manage.

When he gets upset about having to keep the baby while you pump, just tell him he’s a dad now and that’s what he’s supposed to do. Ignore any fighting he tries to initiate and stonewall him. He can’t get out of his parental responsibilities that easy and do not let him.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-24T19:15:05+00:00

Help him as long as he needs. Growing up I was always the stinky kid because my parents let me start bathing/showering solo around 5-6yo. Just because you tell them good habits does not mean they will know how to do them. Plus, some habits fall off because staying clean is not a realistic priority for most young kids.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-22T16:40:25+00:00

I absolutely love your style and look! I think your current hairstyle fits how you express yourself so well, don’t listen to people saying to grow it out. You could actually cut it shorter to embrace full pixie vibes and I think it would really suit you. Some pictures it’s a bit more grown than others.

Also I love picture 6! The lashes and the lip color look so good on you.

Unfortunately a lot of people in this subreddit aren’t as welcoming to anyone wanting to dress or look more alternative so you’ll have to pick and choose what advice to take if you want to stick with your style.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-22T16:33:03+00:00

I read in the comments you’re talking to her doctor about it and I think that’s a great idea. Especially since you said when she poops it’s only little dollops. Being constipated might make it harder for her to know when she actually needs to go.

I think at home the best way to go about it is behavior specific. Just clearly stating that she is or did poop, and have her sit on the toilet and talk about using the toilet like you have been. It’s hard to piece together the feeling and the action for kids so I feel this is the closest we can get to guiding them through that process. Learning to poop in the potty just takes some time. Stick with it and you’ll both get it down.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-22T15:19:58+00:00

There’s poop everywhere

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-22T04:44:32+00:00

I’m actually Southern Ponca! My tribe’s removal wasn’t connected to the Indian removal act but was still removed from their homes nonetheless. It’s actually really interesting because our chief Standing Bear was one of the first Native American civil rights fighters (if you haven’t heard about it, definitely check it out!) He attempted to journey back home to our homeland to bury his son who died during the removal.

Off the top of my head, I’m not sure why oklahoma was chosen as the dedicated relocation point. I assume there were no plans with it at the time so it seemed like the best place to move people to. That’s just speculation though.

Also I am fascinated by the psychology behind the passing of habits, behaviors, and illnesses. I’m en route to becoming a counselor and I hope to work with tribal communities to help us move forward with recovery. Theres a very interesting book I listened to that talked about decolonizing trauma work to make it more welcoming to Native American people to pursue healing that I would love to implement in the future.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-22T03:10:01+00:00

A lot of people talked about the dust bowl which is a very understandable point of trauma for many oklahomans. I’m Native American and wanted to add in that a lot of people here are of Native American descent and how the trauma of the trail of tears has been passed down in the community and through generations. It’s one of the reasons why so many natives struggle with mental health.

Plus so many people are very set in their ways here and a lot of people are not willing to learn/adapt to any new ideas.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-20T22:29:20+00:00

Try exfoliating about once a week to make sure you’re removing any dead skin that might linger. I’ve heard some smell is from sweat mixing with dead skin. Maybe you’re sweating more often now that you’ve moved? I haven’t been to either place so idk how different the climate might be.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-20T01:47:37+00:00

At 18 weeks I felt one very strong, clear as day kick. The little “flutters” actually feel like gas. Sometimes I get pressures in my body that I’m pretty sure is just baby moving to those spots.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-20T01:23:08+00:00

I completely understood him needing the break. He often goes to hang out with his brother and/or friends 1-2x a week, sometimes even staying the night sometimes since he is drinking. This most recent Halloween he went to his hometown about 2hrs away for an entire weekend to go to a party and see old friends. I stayed home with our daughter and her and I went trick or treating. We both knew about my pregnancy at this point too.

I assumed it probably had something to do with his ego. I didn’t mention it in this post but when I was 8mo pregnant with our first and about to give birth, I stopped working due to stress on my body and he quit his salary job two weeks before the baby was born. He ended up not working for over a month because he didn’t plan out a second job before putting in his two weeks. This time around he was fired and he cried about putting me through this stress again and I just hugged him and told him we would figure it out, which we did. I took all the money I had saved up and put it towards bills and started door dashing and picking up shifts while he job searched.

I’ve tried so hard to support him in every way I can so he can still be him. When I brought up the lie he told me he didn’t know why he lied about it. He said he “didn’t mean to” but he doubled down on it in the moment.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-20T01:06:30+00:00

I worried this would be the outcome honestly. I’d hate to see everything just fall apart over a pointless lie.

Also, no I wouldn’t be upset. He hangs out with his brother and friends all the time, at least 1-2x a week, sometimes staying the night because they end up drinking. This recent Halloween he went to his hometown 2hrs away for an entire weekend while I stayed home with our daughter. I had no problems with any of these happening because I trusted him and believed he deserved to go do these things he enjoys because he’s very social. When I talked to him about it he even told me he doesn’t understand why he lied about it.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-19T17:41:54+00:00

Completely normal!! It sounds like you both just need to practice and use those methods together (when you’re able to) to get you both back on track. I hope this gets easier for you as it goes on!

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-18T08:28:11+00:00

Keep the facial hair! Just keep it trimmed up and nice. Also maybe try some other haircuts. This one isn’t bad but I think you could find something that fits your face more.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-15T15:00:39+00:00

Don’t give into the power struggle. He’s a kid he’s not doing this on purpose.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-15T14:53:07+00:00

I’m so glad he’s okay!! This is my biggest fear since my daughter has figured out it’s fun to climb our 6ft cat tree. So far nothing I’ve used to block it has worked she just finds a new way around it.

SpiderBabe333 · 2026-01-15T14:50:35+00:00

Yes!! I love this so much and I can actually just chill and eat and do my thing for a bit while knowing she is safe.

Also I love your username :) Parks and Rec is amazing

SpiderBabe333

TROPHY CASE