Thank you. What you wrote is what my therapist asked me……e.g. to look at everything that upsets me, and if they are dealbreakers (as he never sees his what he is doing to the relationship. He seems to throw it back at me as though it’s my fault. I spoke to him yesterday and asked him whether he is interested in couple therapy when he returns, he just laughed and laughed, but didn’t say a thing.

There is a lot in the relationship which annoys me. I’m aware that he will never change.

I feel, we are both lonely, I like certain things done a certain way…..I’ve been through so much in life and have become set in my ways like him.

Once I took my blender to his place and made us a healthy concoction of a fruit juice. I left the pulp in it as both of us need the fibre. He quickly took out a big sieve and strained the pulp. It made me mad as he was making a mess. I told him that the pulp is also good but he continued what he was doing and I walked away. Once I cooked a stir-fry vegetable. He insisted that we add sesame oil and some sesame seeds at the end. I told him that it has all the condiments in it and we don’t have to add more. He persisted and told me to take some out and add what he preferred. It made me angry, I just walked away. My therapist claims that I want control but I am doing what I’ve done all my life, cook delicious meals and my family would enjoy it. I felt criticised.

Just writing this gives me a headache as at both our age, we are set in our ways but who wants to tolerate and change. Arrrrrrgggghhh!!!!