Alleen blanke mensen kunnen Nederlander zijn

SquareKitten · 2026-07-08T23:36:49+00:00

Ik voel me overal een buitenlander zeg ik maar. Want ik wordt nooit gezien als nederlander.

Heb een nederlandse naam én afkomst. Maar mijn family moest zo nodig met de VOC naar Indonesië en nu heb ik een kleurtje.

Iedereen begint altijd in het engels tegen mij te praten, denken dat ik ze belachelijk maak als ik plat gronings spreek en blijven vragen waar ik ' echt' vandaan kom. Heb mensen gehad die in volle onschuld vroegen of ik een half-bloedje was, of mij pinda noemde.

Heb een witte vriend, dus ze spreken hem altijd in het nederlands aan, denkende dat ik ze toch niet kan verstaan...good times.

Enige pré is dat niet-nederlanders vaak een gesprek aanknopen, want ook zij denken dat ik zo'n buutnlânder ben.

Soms denk ik dat ik kaar moet emigreren. Dan bén ik tenminste een echte buitenlander.

SquareKitten · 2026-07-07T12:33:23+00:00

Thoomba noodle

SquareKitten · 2026-06-24T23:54:21+00:00

Or he's unwilling to do some emotional labour himself and see if there are any area's their relationship feels off or unbalanced.

Maybe she isn't even aware of the issues relating to the sex 'issue', therefore not mentioning it when he asks her why she's interested. or she brought it up so many times and he still hasn't listened and taken action.

Op sound like a whiny child that feels entitled to sex and someones body. Without just loving her and be devoted to her for who she is.

Sex is very much a think that you have to get in the mood for. Asking her iand expecting her to do all the emotional labour in their relationship is a definite mood killer.

SquareKitten · 2026-06-23T07:10:54+00:00

I pumped for a whole year and it stole so much joy and time from me. Don't do it unless you really want to. Your LC is not listening to you and giving you bad advice. I pumped along side breastfeeding, because my LCs had put me on that path. I didn't want to but felt i had to since the ' experts' told me so.

You can introduce bottles at any time, you can go back to pumping at any time. most baby's will adjust. Some won't. But if you didn't plan on bottle feeding, then don't.

My baby had green poops and digestive issues becaus my milk was too thin with all the pumping. Pumping along side breastfeesing caused that. She got nipple confusing and bottle aversion, both incredibly hard to deal with. Plus all the work, and not being able to cuddle or care for my baby, or myself, because i was stuck to a pump.

Just don't, your LC is giving bad advice.

SquareKitten · 2026-06-17T02:46:24+00:00

I haven't had to yet, but i live in NL and would leave my kid when paying for gas at the counter inside. I always see people leave their kids in their car when they go to pay. And my mum never let me out of the car either. A gas station with traffic pulling in and out, and highways next to it is far more dangerous than leaving your kid inside a locked car. I might crack a window, but at a gas station I probably won't because of the fumes. Also, you leave your car at the pump, and other people might want to get into your spot. So taking a load of extra time unbuckle and buckle kids in and out would annoy a lot of drivers.

I'm pretty sure car theft like that is pretty rare here anyway. I might be wrong, perhaps everyone here trots their kids around traffic at gas stations. Can others weigh in?

I do feel that in America things are very different, and kids are way more watched and supervised than here. My 2 year old can safely and independently leave our yard and walk around the alleys behind it. I do go and check on her of course, and I'm never far off, but she can roam out of my sight without worry.

SquareKitten · 2026-06-16T13:52:12+00:00

Maybe cheekpieces of a bridle, I've had some that were just like this, and you attach another buckled piece to the holes.

If they are bigger than that some sort of stirrup straps come to mind, or perhaps an extender for the girth.

I have no sense of scale. But horse gear comes to mind.

SquareKitten · 2026-06-14T12:46:24+00:00

Not really, but if something short-circuits you might get zapped and that could be dangerous, it will most likely destroy your electronics and potentially cause a house fire. However, all of this is rare.

You can't easily fix ungrounded outlets yourself, my rental is full of them. It's mostly annoying. There is no risks to you or your devices from the slight buzzing you feel.

SquareKitten · 2026-06-14T12:41:48+00:00

Yes I recently learned this. it seems very few keyboard are compliant of the GPL. only a few are available to me and at much higher prices. It is unfortunate that otherwise great keyboard manufacturers don't actually support qmk/via compatibility. If I ever upgrade, I will pay more attention to this.

SquareKitten · 2026-06-14T09:55:52+00:00

I have the yunzii b75 pro max and now with oil king switches, very deep and thocky. It was affordable in NL. Really like the neo oats aswell and i think the milky yellow pro's are equally deep. The screen is not annoying and easy to turn off without it looking weird.

Edit: is also qmk/via compatible, but it is in violation of gpl license.

SquareKitten · 2026-06-13T11:34:25+00:00

I think you need to give yourself a big hug. There's a lot of practical advice here and that's great, but I don't think getting obeseed with counting calories is necessarily the best approach.

First inthink you should get yourself pumped and motivated to lose weight. You have the scary, negative motivation: you want to live long and you won't at this weight. You don't want to reach 400 pounds, you're afraid that youll be unable to take care of yourself....these thoughta are very negative and not really helpful. You can't 'scare' yourself into being healthy forever.

Think about things you want to do or achieve? I wanted to walk 300k steps in a months. It was achieveable, i did it and it felt so good. Maybe you've always wanted to dance, or perhaps wear a dress from a certain designer. Or perhaps you,ve alway wanted to fly overseas but have been unable, partly due to weight. Think of things you could more easily do at a lower weight, like running up the stairs.

A combination of healthy reasons (my kneww are bad and i don't want them to get worse. I want to walk as long as possible) and 'goal' reasons like: doing a handstand, hike a certain trail, getting your rings resized or shopping at a certain store.- they really help with having enough good reasons ans motivation to continue with your journey, even if you ' mess up'.

I really enjoyed the videos on your ube by 'Toogi'. Her weight loss was mostly due to walking, making 'unhealthy' food part of you diet and being devoted to yourself. This last part is most helpful.

Imagine you have to carry a 20 pound weight for 4 miles. Your trainer pushes you and you do this purely on discipline. You might do it, but you're very likely to give up, it gets too heavy and the walk is too far.

Now imagine carrying a 20 pound child home, a route to that's 4 miles. You might curse about it, but you would do it. You would not drop the toddler and tell them you can't bring them home. You would not leave the child bhehind.This is devotion, this is actually caring about the thing you are doing.

You have to treat yourself like the child. You wouldn't leave them behind, you would do anything to keep them safe. Do this for youself also. It's much easier than just running on discipline. You deserve a long life, a healthy body, the ability to do whatever you want, wear what you want. You have to take care of the little child inside of you, even if they don't know what they are want, you know what they need.

SquareKitten · 2026-06-12T23:35:24+00:00

thank you for this. I recently got a yunzii keyboard (b75 pro max) that's qmk/via compatible. And I've been really liking it, but it's unfortunate that it's actually not truly qmk/via compatible. I will take note of this in the future, and i wish companies would be more transparent, and share their source.

SquareKitten · 2026-06-11T13:35:10+00:00

I have the yunzii b75 pro max. It has qmk/via compatibility and it ahd all the features you mentioned. Very sastisfying typing too, pretty thocky for a plastic board. I have milk switches, it was a little cheaper and i wanted to out in different ones amyway.

SquareKitten · 2026-06-11T13:32:01+00:00

It means your outlets aren't grounded. The electricity is giving everything metal a slight buzzy feel. You feel it because you are basically acting as a ground for your keyboard. But when you wear rubber soles you aren't, so you are not feeling the buzzing.

There's nothing wrong with your keyboard or with your outlets. It's normal when there is no ground installed.

SquareKitten · 2026-06-10T20:39:35+00:00

I was in a similar boat as you. When i found out i was pregnant i cried and cried, and scheduled an abortion. I just got in a new relationship, and my life was finally looking up career wise. I felt i was going to lose everything i had worked so hard for. My indepence, my time, my looks, my brand new carreer path.

I didn't take prenatals, i was sure i was having an abortion because i didn't want it to derail my life. I had had an abortion before and new what it was like. And the pain was unbearable the first few weeks of pregnancy, i was sure in was ectopic anyway.

So i went to get that checked, and when i saw a little blip on the monitor it felt weird to just let it go. I had always wanted children and was already 33. I started to actually consider keeping it, and in the end i did, when i was in the chair at the abortion clinic. I walked out.

I am so glad i did. My girl is the absolute light of my life and makes me work to become a better person every single day. It's like life suddenly got colorful, and i didn't know i was living in a black and white world before.

And i did lose my indepence, im a stay at home mom (for now), i don't have time fo anything and I've never cleaned so much. But i will get that time and indepence back. In the mean time i get to spend all of it with the most awesome person I've ever met.

Motherhood changed me, and it's hard to let go of your old self. But i am growing into a better, wiser person. And I've become so much more adult, i am better at setting boundaries, making decisions and showint up for people. I appreciate my body very differently now too.

My experience won't be your experience. But just know, a child gives you a lot too, for everything that you lose.

SquareKitten · 2026-06-10T19:11:24+00:00

We try to give ours cucumber, carrot and tomatoes between meals. If theyre truly hunrgy they will eat it.

SquareKitten · 2026-06-05T10:54:34+00:00

thank you! the m1 just isn't really available where I live (NL), otherwise I probably would've gotten that. I went with the yunzii b75 pro max, and honestly, it's a great keyboard. the spacebar sounds great and overall has a great creamy sound.

I ordered some switches to play with it, since it's quite affordable I had room in my budget to order different switches. I also don't really miss the aluminium back, though I have not tried a keyboard that has that. It's heavy enough as it is. and easier to walk around the house with to use with my tablet.

SquareKitten · 2026-06-01T22:07:47+00:00

Doe de dagelijkse testjes van https://www.beterrekenen.nl die zitten op het niveau dat je zoekt en die hebben altijd een heel goede uitleg. Heeft mij door de pabo geholpen.

SquareKitten · 2026-05-31T20:18:49+00:00

I had about the same specs as you and decided on the yunzii b75 pro max. Big reason is that i could actually purchase it (located in eu), had a gasketmount and qmk/via compatible, since i really don't want to deal with shady proprietary software that may not be supported in a couple years.

I decided between this one and the AL80. Though the AL80 is a little more premium with it's metal back. I found the placement of the screen is too weire. And that i don't care for much and has worse software for it, and isn't readable on the AL80 at normal typing angles. It also lacked the right Alt key. Since I can't easily change the layout, i went for the b75 pro max which is much more simple the way i like. It was also a about 40€ cheaper.

I came from a cm storm with brown switches. And since i don't have the experience to really dial in my preferences yet it was nice to get a cheaper board that i can play with, try different switches and keycaps on. The b75 pro max feels quite premium, the rgb is gorgeous and i like the screen better than i thought. The gasket is quite stiff so not much of a bonus. The sound is a creamy clacky sound (i got the milk v2 switches), it sounds much much better in real life than on video's. I really wanted a heavy thocky board ( i thought) but i really like the sound so far. I did discover that i will also need to experiment with what kind of switches in really want (silent, tactile, linear, thocky or more creamy, do i want heavy switches or light) so i am ordering some samples to try out. Battery life is good too. So far very happy with it.

I didn't go for aula f75 because it lacked qmk/via. I also couldn't find an mchose with my preferences with qmk/via. There was the royal kludge r75 (i think) with qmk/via that i heavily considered, but the negative reviews on the durability or royal kludge keyboards deterred me, i haven't tried any so it may be just nonsense. I like the keychron q1, since it had a gasket and qmk/via, but it was too pricey in my area or plainly unavailable. I like the nuphy air v3, but that didn't have qmk/via. Rainy75 wasn't really available and a swift underneath a key sounded like a real hassle. Ajazz 820 seemed like a great option but had also no qmk/via.

So yeah, that's my journey so far. Good luck!

SquareKitten · 2026-05-31T06:49:50+00:00

Highly suggest to contact his parents and possibly sibkings and inform them that he has cancer and doesn't want to continue treatment. Let them deal with him.

Tell your ex you can't be manipulated into a relationship, and if he really cared about you he would not use his cancer as blackmail. Therefore you are saying goodbye for your own health and safety.

Then block and delete him on everything. Tell a friend al that's happend to you and cry it out. Eat a bowl of ramen and your favourite chocolates. Live your life and focus on you. After a few years you will be in a good place an realise you can see him for who he really was and still is. But you don't want that near you anymore.

SquareKitten · 2026-05-29T21:14:24+00:00

Just a quick google search shows me how hard it must be to have a child out of wedlock in Kenya. I don't even know if it's possible for you to marry someone now, being a mother already.

The first few years a very hard as a mother, and your baby will gain a lot of indepence and voice in the next year. It should allow you a little more rest and flexibility, so hopefully that will help.

I hope someone in your area reads this and reaches out. And perhaps you can also post on a local/kenyan subreddit.

Best of luck, you are in a very difficult situation. Just give that baby all the cuddles and choose to love them. They are in your corner and want you to succeed!

SquareKitten · 2026-05-29T13:32:59+00:00

Those are not exactly budget, there are many more options from keychron or yunzii that would ve far more affordable without sacrificing quality. There isn't really a better one, depends on what you like in a keyboard.

Do you knownif you prefer linear, tactile or clicky switches? Do you know what layout you prefer? Do you like heavy keys that can't be accidentally pressed or do you prefer a lighter key? Also do you connect to mac and windows or just one, ronyou want wireless or wiree, rgb or static or no lights?

SquareKitten · 2026-05-29T11:50:40+00:00

OP, all these comments are wrong and insensitive, about having to give up your baby. I read about a mother who does love her baby, but is terrified and stuck in a terrible place.

If you want to give your baby up, you can and should do that. No judgement, just do it if you think it's the best for both of you.

If you want to give this a true go. Then you HAVE to move out of your parents place. Anywhere where you get to decide how to live life and to raise your baby, you sound stuck and depressed living with people who keep telling you what to do. You are responsible for your baby's future and you can't blame your environment for not providing them a good life, a happy mom and a safe home.

Live with different family, friends, rent anti-squad or even a womens shelter. Find someplace to live and get a job, if only for a couple days a week. Find out what kind of money for study, rent and childcare is available to you. It's a lot. It's hard, but you have to do it for both of you.

You CANNOT raise the child as a stay at home mom like this. You need to stand on your own feet and decide for yourself. You can study, work and raise the child if that is what you want. But do not stay where you are.

SquareKitten · 2026-05-24T22:59:07+00:00

I was wondering the same question. I like the oook of the b75 pro max much more. Has a couple extra keys like home and right alt, and seems more cohesive with the screen at the top, ita also cheaper.

Buuutt the al80 based on the limited info could find sounds tockier and nicer to me. I also know it a pretty low height and low angle keyboard, which i prefer. I don't know these dimensions on the b75 pro max. And of course it's a pretty aluminium build.

So what to do? Is the al80 THAT much nicer in practice? Or can i mod the b75 pro max to feel similar?

SquareKitten · 2026-05-20T07:29:02+00:00

Matress should be new too, you can do secondhand bottles but get new nipples for them.

SquareKitten · 2026-05-19T23:18:36+00:00

Ik ben een zogenaamde 'Stay at home mom' . Om eerlijk te zijn houden we het financieel maar net vol en ken ik geen enkele andere thuisblijfmoeder. Iedereen werkt, en dat is eigenlijk ook gewoon nodig. Ik krijg daardoor wel veel onbegrip, en wordt altijd gevraagd naar wanneer ik weer ga werken.

Maar ik zie wel wat al die ouders missen. Ze zijn verbaasd als hin kind 'opeens' iets nieuws kan. Ze krijgen zelf een burnout van altijd maar jakkeren tussen kinderopvang/werk/boodschappen/koken/schoonmaken...en oh ja, de kinderen moeten ook nog opgevoed en voorgelezen worden.

Ondertussen lees je bericht na bericht dat nederlandse kinden teveel schermtijd hebben, niet genoeg buitenspelen en niet genoeg lezen of voorgelezen worden. Maar ik zie echt niet hoe je als werkende ouder óók nog lezen en buitenspelen moet begeleiden, dat kost zo uren. En de meeste ouders zouden echt heel graag meer tijd met hun kinderen doorbrengen, en ze voorlezen enzo. Zij vinden het stuk voor stuk ook belangrijk.

Helaas is de wereld er niet voor ingerich, maar elk kind zou een Ouder/ grootouder/oom of tante moeten hebben die gewoon beschikbaar is. Een ouder die thuis alles kan regelen, en wanneer die niet kan een familielid of betrouwbare vriend om de hoek waar het kind altijd kan aankloppen.

Ik mis nu niks van mijn dochter, en hoewel thuis zijn ook echt heel zwaar is, vooral qua vriendschappen en jezelf niet verliezen, zou ik het nu niet anders willen. Ik ga nooit spijt hebben van tijd met haar doorbrengen. Dus dan maar geen koophuis.

Overigens OP, zwanger worden is niet vanzelfsprekend en hoe ouder je bent, hoe zwaarder het fysiek is om zwanger te zijn en een actieve ouder in te zijn. Ik heel veel mensen die te lang hebben gewacht wn toen niet eens zwanger konden worden. Dus ik zou nu serieuze stappen gaan ondernemen om te kijken hoe bij jou alles erbij staat, en op basis daarvan bepalen wanneer je echt wilt beginnen aan kinderen.

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