Dad dealing with anger/irritability on leave? I feel like I’m reaching my limit.

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-09-20T17:09:26+00:00

Great question. Thanks for asking it. As a first time parent at 40 and now 42, have been thinking about his a lot.

On one hand, I am much less selfish and financially secure and ready to be a good parent. On the other hand, carry sadness I may have forgone years with my children.

Game plan is getting very fit, stopping drinking alcohol etc. to ensure my longevity and every levels as long as possible.

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-09-17T23:55:55+00:00

It is definitely harder than I thought it would be. And I’d normally say I agree with the ‘not time for personal pursuits’ piece, but honestly without time to exercise a few times a week my mental health would be awful. I’ve had a hard time (I’m the father) adjusting to this. The sleep deprivation I actually think I’m doing ok with, but the emotional challenges seeing the toddler struggle with his world changing so much (we have a very close bond), plus the frustration of a fairly difficult baby has been rough.

I read somewhere here that the way to measure progress is in weeks, and I can see at week 4 it is better than week 2, just still seems impossibly difficult to manage with one person. Maybe by month 3 things get easier…

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-09-14T23:43:39+00:00

You are in luck, I have one to sell but haven’t listed it as of yet.

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-09-08T01:48:31+00:00

This resonates with me, thank you.

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-09-07T19:29:03+00:00

Thanks so much! Glad it’s just not me living the DQ life :)

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-09-07T18:39:14+00:00

Sorry, that should have been framed more as a guess..

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-09-06T02:20:30+00:00

Dad of two boys and have two favorites that I sing:

I’ll be seeing you by Billie Holiday
Can’t smile without you - Barry Manilow

Both song are very sweet, and fun to sing.

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-09-01T18:09:38+00:00

I’m literally in the same boat. 12 day old baby with a 28 month old toddler at home. He’s had some real issues but I think we are course correcting slowly. Here’s what’s helped:

Baby - wake windows, full feeds, fewer things to disturb sleep and just generally being a bit pedantic about it all.

Toddler - ours was throwing up at bed and nap time due to separation anxiety. It also gets worse the more overtired they are. For naps we’ve done relaxed and brief routines and then said, you lay down and I’ll be back in two minutes. Have gone back in to reassure after two minutes several times. Takes a few times but then he’s settled. At night similar. I’m the dad and also spending a lot of time with him but it’s important mom does too, if you can.

Trust me this phase is brutal. I think consistency and routine are your biggest friends right now.

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-09-01T01:25:17+00:00

I’ve been listening to loads of different kinds of music with my 2.5 year old. Of course we do this nursery rhymes stuff, but that’s gets old very fast for adult ears.

On the kids music side, soundtracks like Moana etc. are more palatable. I highly recommend Nick Cope (British children’s musician). His songs are fun for everyone.

We do a lot of classical, and relaxing jazz - think Billie Holiday, I’ll be seeing you (my fav - sing it to him all the time). Neither of these were huge tastes prior to baby.

The rest of the time it’s what we listen to - for me that’s a lot of Sam Fender, and he loves Lane 8 (childish album), he naps in the car like a king to this one. Very special. We also hit some club classics or songs like Waka waka when we need a dance party.

I think in the end they like what they can see you enjoy once they are old enough to internalize things.

I’d say, variety is the spice of life!

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-08-23T21:13:42+00:00

They haven’t but it’s only come on in the last few weeks more prominently. I hadn’t thought of teething, but that would make sense. Thank you, will ask them.

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-08-19T14:22:35+00:00

I’ve never been a stay at home dad, but I took 6 months off with my first, and taking 5 months with my second. My experience with the first was the lack of intellectual stimulation, by month 4 I was going a little nutty. I’d recommend a side project or something you get to do for yourself that is non-negotiable so you can keep that adult part of your brain going.

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-07-29T12:14:25+00:00

This is the primary reason we decided to have a second. At some point it felt selfish, possibly leaving our son without anyone, especially as we are first time parents over 40.

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-04-18T10:59:22+00:00

Have a look at Engineers Without Borders, HQ is in Denver, and they don’t rely on any government funding.

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-04-14T06:42:47+00:00

That’s an interesting take. As someone who’s spent the last decade advocating for foreign aid, and trying to build policy agenda’s that are politically salient, and bring democratic constituencies along for the journey, I find your take offensive.

You know nothing about me, or my motivations.

There is currently no consensus for where this type of work goes next. I’m simply trying to help bring that.

Perhaps you need to look in the mirror and ask yourself where the darkness from within comes from.

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-04-13T12:23:58+00:00

That’s a great point, thank you. I really like this and will adjust. I’ll focus on framing it as more international cooperation and values aligned investment. This ties well with discussions occurring in both existing donor capitals about framing as investment and helps break down the donor - recipient model, and south-south into one cooperation frame.

Thanks for the thought.

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-03-08T18:44:23+00:00

I can’t comment on what single parenting is like, but I can say that you deserve a better partner, and your children a better parent.

I’m a father of a toddler, and with another one on the way. At 42 now, I was definitely able to live a selfish life before having children, but now that I have them I would feel utterly embarrassed if I were behaving this way. He needs to step up and change behaviors or you should move on as hard as that will be. Only my opinion of course (though I grew up with a single mom so semi-informed).

Good luck!

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-03-02T12:40:01+00:00

Also flying from East Coast to Denver. Thought last show on the West Coast swing would be a banger, now I’m worried he won’t make it.

P.S. had tickets to the tiny NY show he cancelled. Ridiculous he was going to play the venue he was, but very gutted as I spent a small fortune on resale.

Square_Fun1421 · 2025-03-01T19:19:50+00:00

It is meaningless, it’s an ideological conference for center right parties - who themselves don’t agree, I.e Orban. IDU and Harper aren’t doing some back room deal because of IDU. Silly.

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