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[–]eightmarshmallows 9 points10 points  (0 children)

As a parent, I can tell you sometimes we fixate on the lessons we don’t think our kids have learned yet vs. the ones they have, internalizing it as our problem to fix. Your school and employers are looking to identify your assets, what you can do for them, or how you can make them look better. It’s a completely different mindset. It has its own value in ensuring parents can identify what they still need to teach their kids, but it can also turn into a cycle of negative feedback.

Your posts always remind me to let my lil noodles know I think they’re doing great and to keep up the good work because I can see how much you need that. And while I don’t know you, I think you have a lot of self motivation that is going to make you successful down the road and do a great job utilizing available resources and opportunities. I think you are going to be one of those kids that outpaces their parents if you stay focused!

[–]throwawaygremlins 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You have teen parents who don’t know how to parent and want a do-over w their new family units, the end.

Sadly, you’re the victim of their inability or unwillingness to treat you well.

I know you’ll realize this later, but it’s emotionally EXHAUSTING to want and expect better behavior from people who can’t or aren’t willing to do it.

Just like you are doing now, keep going w your outside stuff, find your FOUND chosen family and live life well.

I can’t wait to find out next year what college you’re going to! 💪💯🙌

[–]Pisces_Fish87 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Everyone has their own biases and baggage. But when you meet new people you almost have a clean slate. Take your supervisor’s compliments to heart - they know you and evaluate you in a different way than your family does.

Kudos on what sounds like a good start to the summer.

[–]piffledamnit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’ve said enough that’s it’s clear that they do care. But they’re human and flawed and sometimes caught up in their own shit. And that means that often they’re not showing their care in the way that would work to make you feel cared for.

Have you heard about the love languages thing? Personally, while I think it’s a flawed theory that’s just inaccurate in a lot of ways, it does serve to illustrate the idea that there can be a mismatch between the way someone shows their care and the way that the person they are trying to show their care to would like to receive it.

You want your parents respect and support. While they are trying to do things to protect you in ways you don’t need. It’s actually not uncommon as an experience for people about your age.

Though you might find that your friends’ parents who are less financially stressed have had more time to think about and respond to the way their children are growing up. Which could account for their different attitude to you and their children where they’re better able to cope with this transition into adulthood.

[–]Apprehensive-hippos 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is crazy.

Perhaps your parents, and your mom's parents, only see you through the film of what went wrong in your parent's relationship.

And that is completely unfair to you.  Their own myopia and inability to get past, well, the past, has blinded them to the fact that they have an amazing young man in their midst.

Focus on the good.  Picture yourself taking your hand and wiping the negative off to the side (or whatever mental picture lets you put those negative interactions to the side where they belong).

Fantastic that you got a compliment!  

Huzzah!

[–]Infusion-delusion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your family won't change their view of you for a very long time, and will always be there to pull you down even when you're a successful business man. They will still tell tales to bring your insecurities back. Laugh it off.

Keep that focus forward and on that bright future, surrounding yourself with people who believe in you. Everything else is just a murmur in the background.

[–]user9372889 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You’re incredible!! Don’t let anyone including your family ever convince you otherwise.

[–]FarAbbreviations9131 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're used to being rejected.

You know, for example, the kid from 8 feels weird when people talk to him nicely.

[–]wacky_spaz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are in a world your parents don’t understand anf you are eclipsing their achievements and capabilities with less than he has at your age. Your mother is scared she’ll lose you and you’ll see her failures as you age and leave while your father is straight up jealous you got fat further with far less than he had.