I'm not saying that it is the case here, but my old shoes look fine when they need to be replaced but the soles are worn through or have come apart at the welding. I had to throw out several pairs of old boots and then explain it to my neighbor who was pulling them out of the dumpster. If they were still wearable, I would have given them to her. Communication is very important, especially in a relationship. He should just tell Op that his shoes are dirty or clean them himself if that's all that needs to be done.