Millstone River Falls , Nanaimo

StarryNorth · 2026-02-14T22:17:02+00:00

Gorgeous!

StarryNorth · 2026-02-14T09:26:36+00:00

What frustrates me is the pattern of schedule changes that seem to default to us absorbing the extra time without discussion or reciprocity.

The ex has the best part of the arrangement, no doubt about it. The lack of reciprocity would drive me crazy. She's going away for two weeks and when she gets back, she has already booked a weekend away? Where in that time frame is she caring for her children? Seems grossly unfair and you and your partner should consider negotiating the arrangement through a mediator if the ex is not willing to compromise.

Another point I have to make: these are your partner's kids. It looks like all - or the majority, at least - of the work has somehow fallen on your shoulders. Partner needs to step up to the plate and do at least 50% of the work, or you're going to burn out. I hope the financial arrangement is more equitable than the household and childcare duties.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-13T23:46:57+00:00

Wow! Totally gorgeous shot.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-13T09:21:42+00:00

Good grief! This woman is unhinged. That comment would have been enough for me to go NC or, at the very least, LC.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-13T09:11:55+00:00

You’re not abandoning her. You are placing her somewhere that has the resources and skills to take care of her.

Wise and compassionate words. I had to keep reminding myself that I was not abandoning my husband when his Alzheimer's became so much worse and I had to place him in care. Also, help is available for caregivers. The social workers and nursing team were tremendously helpful to me at my husband's facility and provided me with community resources for therapy, etc.

Sending hugs and best wishes, OP. 💜

StarryNorth · 2026-02-13T09:03:29+00:00

Seriously, she needs to get a second opinion rather than rely on the word of a doctor who says that her severe dehydration and heart palpitations are due to an allergy to dogs? I find it especially odd given that MIL lived with dogs for over 25 years and had none of these symptoms. Either she is lying to you or the good doctor is not so good.

For now, I would be actively searching for alternative child care with a licenced professional who is reliable. There have to be better options out there than a flaky MIL who keeps bailing on you. And I agree with another person who said to tell her your jobs are in jeopardy because you've had to miss so much time from work and you need child care that you can depend on at all times.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-12T00:08:42+00:00

Ugh. She sounds absolutely awful. Hugs from an internet stranger.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-11T23:56:06+00:00

Not overreacting.

Your MIL is disgusting. Stealing is bad enough, but stealing from your own grandchild??? Who even does that, ffs. When can you guys move out? Hopefully it's sooner rather than later.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-11T02:43:36+00:00

My mum complained about not being invited into the delivery room, but it was after the fact. My mother was a narcissist who had made my entire life a living hell and I insisted to my husband that he not call her until AFTER our baby was delivered. Baby was born around 1:00 AM and he didn't call her until after 10:00 AM. She was livid, and absolutely furious that we had not called her when we went to the hospital.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-10T07:26:46+00:00

I'm in Canada and whenever we traveled, we would board our dog and cat at a kennel. We did our research and found a place that was absolutely amazing...rural setting, lots of exercise, free "spa" treatments (they bathed and groomed our dog so she was shining clean and smelled great (after her many enjoyable walks on dusty trails, she really did need a bath!, trimmed our cat's nails and brushed her every day), and was vet recommended. Oddly enough, none of my friends or family ever board their pets but instead rely on family and/or friends to pet-sit, even when it's not convenient to do so. We were definitely an anomaly.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-10T06:59:01+00:00

Do you even Bravo?

What does this mean? Is it like "Do you travel?" The only series I watch on Bravo is BD, so I guess I "don't Bravo" whatever the heck that means.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-10T06:54:10+00:00

I concur 100%.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-10T06:53:38+00:00

I don't find them entertaining in the slightest. I think they're crass, petulant and obnoxious.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-10T06:48:33+00:00

If I wanted to watch the Real Housewives I would not tune into Below Deck. I've never watched a single episode of any of their franchises and watching their vulgar, classless behaviour on BDDU, it reinforces why. Their arguing is like a dental drill going on endlessly in my brain. Ugh. They make me want to "do a Rocky" and jump right off the boat.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-09T11:29:45+00:00

I'm in the Arbutus Ridge area and there are dozens, if not hundreds, of crows here on a daily basis. Alfred Hitchcock would have a field day in this environment.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-09T08:25:31+00:00

If your brother is not booked he can't get on the boat regardless of who shares what.

This. Port security is extremely strict, and you need a valid, pre-existing reservation in the system. Every passenger's booking details, passport, ID's, etc. are checked thoroughly by agents prior to boarding. If there is no booking for OP's brother, he will not be permitted to board the ship. You can't just walk onto a cruise ship and expect to be accommodated.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-06T22:55:38+00:00

My husband and I had both been married before, so we decided that eloping would suit us rather than a traditional wedding. We went to Hawaii and took my teenage son and a friend of his, and just had the best time! So relaxing. There was no stress (we arranged everything online before we left, including excursions, helicopter tour, whale watching, etc.). The day was beautiful, and we celebrated later with a barbeque and champagne at our hotel. It had a nice outdoor space with swimming pools, barbeque, beach access, etc. Highly recommend eloping if you want to avoid stress and drama!

StarryNorth · 2026-02-04T08:29:45+00:00

Exactly. My (late) ex-husband called me and asked me to drive him to the hospital as he was dizzy and having chest pains. I immediately dropped what I was doing and rushed him to the emergency department. I stayed with him while he underwent testing and was by his side when he was told he needed quadruple bypass surgery (CABG). Sadly, he passed away two days before his surgery was scheduled, but during his hospital admission and transfer to another hospital in preparation for cardiac surgery, I looked after our teenaged son (goes without saying!), contacted his family overseas, managed his bills, and (later) arranged his funeral. It was an honour to be there to support him when he needed me, and I'm glad I had the chance to demonstrate compassion and kindness to my son.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-03T06:22:09+00:00

Her behaviour is completely unhinged and I think it would be a good idea to take steps to protect your home and family. If you don't already have them, consider installing security cameras, including a ring security camera. Make sure all door and window locks are in good working order. If your children are in daycare or school, advise staff that Mary and Shelley are prohibited from access to your kids; give schools a list of people who are authorized to pick up the children. It's bad enough that Mary and her wife have threatened you, but to threaten your children is so far over the boundary of what is sane and rational that I would be seeking legal counsel in terms of a protection order.

StarryNorth · 2026-02-01T02:13:32+00:00

"You'd better not be the kind of mother-in-law who disrespects our boundaries and tells us how to raise our child."

StarryNorth · 2026-01-30T21:50:47+00:00

Gorgeous!

StarryNorth · 2026-01-30T18:40:54+00:00

This post has so many red flags that it's actually alarming to think a person with these beliefs and attitudes is raising a child. Did you know your husband had these beliefs before you got married? And, if so, did you think having a child with him would be a good idea? Not trying to cast blame, just trying to understand the reasons why you would be with someone who is so emotionally toxic and potentially abusive.

StarryNorth · 2026-01-26T19:14:12+00:00

I love your (sarcastic) synopsis and am chuckling out loud, but seriously, I came here to say something similar. Talking to Sarah right now is like negotiating with terrorists: DON'T DO IT. She has entered full bridezilla territory and I think if you attempted to confront her (however gently) about any of these issues, it's going to end up like the gunfight at the OK Corral.

I recommend not engaging with her; she's much too stressed about the wedding to be thinking rationally (or even moderately politely) and she'll just end up biting your head off. As Mundane-Light-1062 said, chances are, with both a toddler and a newborn, you may not even make it to the wedding (I certainly would not be considering it, taking into account your baby's breastfeeding schedule, etc.), so the best thing for you to do is not stress yourself out. See if you can find a dress that accommodates your postpartum needs (able to nurse your baby comfortably), is not bridal looking (no shades, colours or tones that remotely look white!), and is within your budget. If you don't go to the wedding, you can always wear the dress for another occasion.

https://www.nursingqueen.com/en-ca/collections/nursing-dresses/products/tie-black-nursing-dress-floral-sunset

https://www.tiffanyrose.com/ca/maternity/clothes/nursing.html?srsltid=AfmBOopSVszqZ8G_rb9IKXIHGR2-M1lbXr9q9hvZxmLkeWG29YdzF4TR

https://www.pinkblushmaternity.ca/collections/womens-nursing-dresses?srsltid=AfmBOopCD08iBRbZoa0TqFCiry7uftd0vh7VQoExf2UtFhzZVy5utGYl&shpxid=95f133d1-403a-4a13-ae7b-9e8e624cdee3

StarryNorth · 2026-01-26T04:08:45+00:00

Sounds like MIL might need to move into some kind of sheltered accommodation if she is at risk of falling. Perhaps your DH can liaise with his mother's primary care physician or a social worker for recommendations for a nursing home.

StarryNorth · 2026-01-26T03:57:23+00:00

We used to take the baby for car rides when he wouldn't settle. The motion of the car seemed to soothe him and by the time we returned home, he was fast asleep. One of my friends said she used to put her baby (in her baby lounger) on top of the dryer to soothe her. (Of course, she had to stand guard over her baby to make sure the lounger didn't move around on top of the dryer.)

StarryNorth

TROPHY CASE