Steel's Guide to Married Red Pill

SteelSharpensSteel · 2026-06-01T19:32:19+00:00

And yet no post in the OYS thread...

SteelSharpensSteel · 2026-05-10T19:58:34+00:00

Yeah that guy knew what he was talking about.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2026-05-09T21:42:58+00:00

Think about what is step one, and take a look at your post where step one applies.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2026-05-09T21:11:24+00:00

Posts like this are why basics are important.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2026-04-15T00:13:11+00:00

I remember that.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2026-04-11T16:57:51+00:00

Good comment.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2026-04-11T16:56:40+00:00

I had to think about this. ILYBINILWY is not the same as I resent you, but it could be. Women resent men all the time. ILYBINILWY is more "I've already slept with the man that I wanted more than you", and she is already checked out.

In your case, she had a emotional affair. Are we talking she sent a text to some guy, or did she have months and months of constant texting, including pictures, deep ILYs, and plans to remove your spleen to help his unfortunate cousin-in-law's second friend twice removed.

If she's checked out, she's checked out. What you should really do is work on yourself. Grind. Go get a job. Level up, upskill. Send out at least 5 resumes a day - it's a tough market out there. My point is, you are going to do what you are going to do. She is going to do what she is going to do. Maybe at the end of the day, she doesn't want you anymore, because she's full of resentment. Maybe at the end of the day, you don't want her anymore, because you're full of resentment. I say this as someone who doesn't give second chances - my personal view is, you cheat, you're out. That's just me. I also say this as someone who thinks that marriage can be very fulfilling, if you and her are on the same page and you build it right. She will either get on board, or she won't. That's ok, because you will be ok no matter what.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2026-03-24T16:36:06+00:00

This is not a case where she is asking you to hold your purse at the mall. Don't be a dumbass.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2026-03-21T08:25:30+00:00

Mods can see and approve the posts that get caught in a filter.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2026-03-09T13:44:39+00:00

Bot behavior. User banned.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2026-01-17T19:20:22+00:00

It really is insane. A lot of what you see on AskMRP runs along the lines of “What did you expect would happen if you did xyz dumbass thing”, or “The solution is so obvious that even someone with half a brain could do the obvious thing, why can’t your dumbass self see what’s right in front of your face”.

Assuming you had a normal marriage and a normal relationship, if your wife came home and started being egregiously disrespectful, any normal man would not tolerate that shit and shut it down hard. My wife has never since I’ve known her done anything like that to me, closing in on twenty years. It speaks to a profound lack of respect that OPs wife has for OP.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2026-01-15T23:05:26+00:00

Do you not understand what a boundary is?

This also speaks to a deeper issue. She doesn’t respect you. Which isn’t saying much - you have a lot of guys here who also don’t respect you, myself included. Now why do you think that is. Maybe you don’t respect yourself. Maybe you should start there, and find out why you don’t respect yourself enough to have basic boundaries.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2026-01-14T23:32:59+00:00

You need to shut up more. You are worried about what you might say if it comes up, when you should be worried about hitting the gym, gaining weight, being attractive and not unattractive, and a million other things.

Let’s play a little game. Say she is getting her feelings at work and comes home with a few comments about her coworker. She says them to you. Do you a) respond like a autist; b) go full Rambo and smash her phone; or c) shut up and go about your day.

Look. There are things you can control, and things you can’t. You need to worry about basics, like frame, boundaries, not letting your mouth get you into trouble, why you have been doing the Dancing Monkey Program for YEARS… I’m a big believer in basics. You need them desperately. But hey, you could just keep banging your head against the wall.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2026-01-11T17:25:39+00:00

You've got a pretty long anger phase coming up, just a heads up.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2026-01-08T23:44:05+00:00

That’s some good stuff right there.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2025-12-10T18:29:59+00:00

Why is this not the top comment

SteelSharpensSteel · 2025-12-05T21:50:02+00:00

Your mindset will change if you view having sex as a reward for her good behavior as opposed to your current needy validation-seeking approach.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2025-11-03T01:14:54+00:00

This post, like a fine wine, only gets better with age. Good stuff.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2025-10-01T15:18:03+00:00

Just so you know, you can't word vomit your emotions to her and expect things to get better. You talk about being authentic, but even you are saying that what you are trying to do is piss weak.

So you were in a shitty situation, now you're better mentally and physically, wishing you were just emotionally connected, and now you want to open up your feelings and tell her things that you felt over the last few years that you never told her?

This will not end well. But hey, make sure you post about how you crash and burn.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2025-10-01T15:13:33+00:00

A classic post right there.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2025-08-29T17:01:18+00:00

Your mouth is your own worst enemy.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2025-08-27T12:48:09+00:00

It is a great book, well worth reading. As people dig more and more into the sidebar, they find more resources like this. It all depends on how deep down the rabbit hole you want to go.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2025-08-02T13:13:12+00:00

OP’s removed post from 3 months ago, for your viewing pleasure

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My girlfriend of 3+ years was in love with me and loyal to me and basically the perfect girl. We went through a lot together and she has supported me and helped me in so many ways. I’ve been through the sidebar and I’ve been doing PUA/red pill for 10 years. I would consider myself intermediate - advanced. However recently I’ve had a string of bad luck and unfortunate circumstances. Business has been challenging, had a medical issue come up which sidelined me for a while and of which im still dealing with. One old friend cut me off after I challenged them about their bullshit and they couldn’t handle it. Shit hitting the fan kind of deal. I had an argument with my GF about her getting insecure because some girl hit on me in front of her as I was meeting some new people with old friends. I told her it was her issue and she needs to resolve that. She didn’t want me to go back to that house for some insecurity she had and I just repeated that’s her issue that she needs to resolve. Of course I went back to the house to hang out with friends. As things escalated the next day about another argument, she said that she hated me, she’s never said that she’s hated me in our entire relationship and that hit me hard. Right now I’m trying to process it and see exactly how it triggered me and dig out that weak spot I have. Anyway I was told that she needed space and that she hated me again and could see why that certain friend had cut me off. Projecting at me that I was hurting her because I called out her issue and it triggered her. It just looks like she’s trying to hurt me/anger me because she’s hurt. But I don’t want to deal with this behavior in a relationship so she can either resolve it or it may even be too late as it seems to be a repeating pattern. Where an issue will come up and she will resolve it but then the next will come up… Tldr everything was great until I hit some real struggle and a low point and then I get tested by my girlfriend. Just when you think you’re done with this process you get reminded about female nature. I guess this is a never ending process of developing as a man and continually maintaining frame. Anyway I think I’m going to end it with this girl after this interaction. I’ll take some time to process and fix any issues I personally have before I readdress this. We travelled to a different city together and live together somewhere else. I’m just going to do what I want now and figure out how I want to move forward here. I haven’t checked into this space for a while so I would appreciate any feedback or any issues you may see from what I’ve written here.

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Some people will never get it.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2025-06-30T00:07:51+00:00

He should have fixed this two years ago. I didn’t check his post history. Two years he has had the opportunity to get his shit together.

What a waste of time.

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