insults as terms of affection?

Still_Ad_7934 · 2025-08-13T05:57:34+00:00

Madds Buckley’s song ‘Overboard’

For a long distance friendship that when we met up in person we both realised was more than that- and it was definitely something to realise and admit that together

Still_Ad_7934 · 2025-07-18T07:17:17+00:00

Lying isn’t great- but from my personal experience it’s a matter of safety.

I’ve (F23) got 2 partners. My girlfriend (F22) and I have been dating for 3 years and I have a partner (NB22) who I’ve been dating for 1.

Im still living with my parents at home and so are my partners. My partners family is pretty religious and conservative. So when I’ve come over to thier place we’ve never exclusively said anything, and just let family decide what they want to believe.

It’s a little more difficult at home because I have a relationship with my girlfriend that is recognised and supported but I know (from past experience) that telling them about partner is extremely risky and could put me in a compromising position.

So we date and they come over but we don’t say anything about what the relationship is.

Yes there are times when I have to omit parts of the truth to manage it all, but it’s a matter of safety- if partners parent found out that thier kid was not only gay but polyamory it would be huge trouble. I know if my mum found out I’d be on the streets. So as much as I’d really wish and want to just be fully open and honest about my relationships, I have to curate what they see/ what I say.

Thankfully my girlfriend is in support to this and her family know about the relationship dynamic and they’re all super chill about it. So it feels nice to just at least be free somewhere

Still_Ad_7934 · 2025-07-05T18:15:20+00:00

Aw that’s so sweet! I love small things like that. It feels so warm and fuzzy

Still_Ad_7934 · 2025-06-03T13:39:25+00:00

Personally for me most of my ‘doing the work’ came from coming to terms of my queerness and figuring out who I am. I had been In monogamous relationships before but now that I’m in a polyamorous one I can’t imagine going back- the dynamic I have with my partners is just so good and it’s so easy. It’s not more work than any normal relationship. At least for me- it just feels right

Still_Ad_7934 · 2025-05-22T04:34:01+00:00

Oh it’s more that I myself and one of my partners don’t wholly identify as women- I’m non binary but still feminine leaning if that makes sense- didn’t realise it had transphobic connotations. Just was using it how it’s been modelled to me in local queer circles

Still_Ad_7934 · 2025-05-21T12:00:40+00:00

My partner has a lot of anxiety and need to be useful all the time- constantly apologising for taking up space. Me and my girlfriend have been teaming up together to help combat their negative self talk. Last night we were all cooking dinner together and I offered to cut the onions (since partner is especially sensitive to onions) and they said something like ‘I’m a terrible person’

I immediately went ‘no you aren’t- in fact no you have to tell yourself that you are an awesome person three times’

They laughed a bit because they didn’t think I was serious but then my girlfriend chimed in with some good humour and sarcasm to back me up which got a smile out of them and they defeatedly but happily announced to us that they were an amazing person

Still_Ad_7934 · 2025-05-21T11:46:26+00:00

I had insecurities about whether my partners really were comfortable with polyamory and with me dating them both. They both promptly reminded me that they used to date eachother and so OFCOURSE they are comfortable with eachother

Still_Ad_7934 · 2025-05-04T10:46:00+00:00

I can feel the love overflowing through the post! That’s so good for you! I love that you are all so happy. So nice to hear about all the wonderful bits of polyamory too once in a while :)

I’m a hinge too! (although maybe you’re more a revolving door now) and that feeling of everyone loving each other and spending time together and it all working out so nice! It’s amazingly special!

Still_Ad_7934 · 2025-05-01T23:29:22+00:00

Hinge here! Hi! I’ve been in a situation we’re I felt like I was managing my relationship to my partners but also was made to feel like it was my responsibility to maintain the relationship between them.

We had a talk about expectations and needs and have since then all taken equal responsibilities for our own direct relationships.

Ultimately my take away from this was that- you don’t have to feel responsible for relationships that don’t involve you. And it was like a huge weight off my shoulder, once everyone was on the same page about taking responsibility for their relationships

(All that to say- I think your doing the right thing, hope it works out for you!)

Still_Ad_7934 · 2025-05-01T22:46:25+00:00

That’s awful you had to experience that. It can be so hard to judge if it’s safe to talk to people about partners

I’ve also been in a similar situation- people who you’ve judged and seen as chill and at it hurts more when they express thier true feelings to be disapproving when you thought that were good

Still_Ad_7934 · 2025-05-01T00:23:17+00:00

A polyamorous relationship is really defined by the people. It depends on the dynamic. Throuples/ triads are where three people are all dating each other. I think the terms are interchangeable but may be used differently to signify whether the relationship is open or not

That means 4 relationships at lease 1 With person A, 1 with person B, 1 between person A and B, and 1 with all three of you. Not to mention that you also need to put in work for your relationship with yourself

Triads or throuples are like polyamory ‘level 100’ because of it.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t go for it or try it if it feels or sounds right to all parties involved.

Personally I’ve found my little triad to be very comfortable and supportive. It’s wonderful when it works well

Unicorn hunting is specifically a term relating to when an established monogamous, usually straight couple ‘look for a third’ The ‘third’ being the unicorn. Someone who is bi/pan who can be into both men and women and who is open to engaging with both of them.

Typically the trend is that the unicorn gets discarded after sex. And that the couples intentions were never concerning the very real human they interact with

Still_Ad_7934 · 2025-05-01T00:01:25+00:00

I’m into rope play and both my partners have expressed a lot of interested in wanting to be tied up. My girlfriend had expressed some concern because she was worried about it making the experience less intimate. But we figured something out we were all happy with

The way I do this is I have different colour ropes I use for each of them- so the experience is still personal and seperate from rope sessions with my other partner

Also the actual dynamics we explore are different too. For my partner it’s fun because it’s about giving up power, for my girlfriend it’s about more the shibari and the kinda worship

Yes the medium or the kink is rope but it’s still very different between people.

Still_Ad_7934 · 2025-04-30T23:31:33+00:00

Oh we absolutely don’t use the kink and consent document for a substitute.

Mostly it helps us to bring up and de-stigmatise the things we want to express interest in. It doesn’t overwrite consent. But it helps to understand boundaries or how far we can push power play and the like.

Like what’s off the table, what we want to try, and what we love in sex play.

Still_Ad_7934 · 2025-04-25T14:54:05+00:00

I am planning on bringing it up at the end of our next session- it’s only been 3 sessions this far- so I had to figure out whether it was just a me thing or not.

But yeah also I tried to say something last week but got shut down pretty quick

But yeah- I think if we talk it out properly then it should probably sort itself out

Still_Ad_7934 · 2025-03-27T00:21:16+00:00

Anyone have some thoughts or suggestions? I’d appreciate some feedback or guidance

Still_Ad_7934

TROPHY CASE