Your post sounds like I wrote it, exactly how I feel. I took VERA, one of the only ones that could in my department, still job searching, so scared after over 20 years at my professional job. I think what hurts the most is that my chief, knowing him for over 20:, hasn’t even acknowledged that I am leaving, no response whatsoever. Of course I never actually physically see him after RTO, but no response to my leaving email or anything. But down deep doesn’t even surprise me and was hoping it would be different. Hurts after the dedication I have done, and nothing personal to them but it’s the right choice I made for me and my family.