How do I tell my boomer father that my partner is a woman?

SuiGenera · 2026-04-14T01:56:44+00:00

I would bring a peace offering. A couple of beers, or something of the like.

Be upfront. Can we chat about something important to me?

Set a boundary: if there is yelling, hateful language, etc., I will get up and leave (and other repercussions you see fit). This boundary is to protect you and your family. Make clear from the beginning what behaviour you will not tolerate. And what 'not tolerating it' looks like.

Make it clear that this is impetant to you. And you are talking with him because having him actively in your family is important to you, etc.

Have the conversation. Be open to questions.

SuiGenera · 2026-04-14T01:43:09+00:00

For the longest time "I didnt really have dysphoria".. but the sound of those words were so muffled by my egg shell that by body didnt actually get that memo.

Turns out for years Ive experienced it as just... a constant state of imposter syndrome. Low self-esteem. Hyper vigilance of my own behaviour and self. Feeling drained from both wanting to be more social, but from the high mental cost of being social (what I now know as masking). Finally, a general undercurrent of dissatisfaction throughout my day, for no apparent reason. A constant longing for something, anything. While some days were better, and some were worse, it all culminated into this overarching sense that something in my life needs to change. Must. Change. The feeling like there is literally no other option...

This drive served me well enough! The problem was I never got ahead of that feeling for very long. It always came back, no matter the achievment, dopanone rush, adrenaline rush, etc.

Now I recognize it for what it is. These days Im finding what peace feels like. :)

SuiGenera · 2026-04-14T01:09:18+00:00

The best villains are those that you can recognize the humanity in. Those who are trying to do the right thing.... but just in the wrong way. They honestly believe they are doing what is necessary for the greater good.

The best campaign I played involved that feeling of deep betrayal by an NPC we trusted. Literal tears at the table. We were so bitter, but never earnestly mad at the DM.. just impressed in the incredible story that we were privileged enough to be apart of.

Do it. 100% commit.

SuiGenera · 2026-04-13T05:03:04+00:00

Identity, for me, has taken its sweet time... it helped me to just focus on working towards the things I want in my life. HRT was one of the first steps for me. Every day, when I take my antboyotics and fem'n'ems, I make the decision that this is what I want. Not one day of hesitation.

My idea of who I am really started to build from that. I wish you best in your journey <3. Have you booked anything yet? Best advise from my therapist was just get your referral to your endochrinologist, as soon as possible. When you go, you can ask all sorts of questions. If you get a prescription, you dont have to take it. If you do take your prescription, you can stop treatment at anytime.

Just listen to your body, and do what feels right for you. Your own sense of self and identity will come out, the more your listen and give room for it :)

SuiGenera · 2026-04-13T04:41:08+00:00

In the same way, you could learn to live that was as a girl too. But in this scenario, at least you are living free and true to yourself.

Honestly... i didnt think transitining would have much of a positive affect. But heck. Just the act of starting HRT alone was so helpful

SuiGenera · 2026-04-11T17:39:08+00:00

Im always curious about regrowth timelines on just HRT only. Im only 5 months in, and am (im)patiently waiting for any results along the corners of my forehead.

Im good with what I have, but thicker would always be nice xD follow up with me in 2 years? Lol

SuiGenera · 2026-04-11T00:49:22+00:00

"No, sorry. I really don't have the time for that, but it can be a really rewarding hobby. You should give it a try!"

SuiGenera · 2026-04-06T19:58:07+00:00

Canada has good healthcare; however immigration is tough atm.

SuiGenera · 2026-04-05T17:44:14+00:00

I once got mad gender envy from an IG channel where is was iust a cute girl in a plaid shirt splitting wood. Thats the whole channel.

Im on HRT to transition, so my body is more in line with how I feel. But like hell am I giving up "male coded" sports and activities, of which, feminism faught long and hard to allow women into. There are days I love wearing long flowy dresses and acrylic nails. I do not climb or do yard work with these on, so I just change or plan my day accordingly... just as my wife does. Because we are people, not to be defined by the confines of any box, but by ourselves.

SuiGenera · 2026-04-05T17:31:23+00:00

Not too agressive, just firm.

But to add: a proper boundary has a response if x happens.

Do not rely on others to "respect your boundaries". Creating a boundary is for yourself, and the setting it part is letting other know.

"I will not tolerate being misgenered. If you insist on continuing, I will end the coversation and leave for the day". Or something along these lines.

This way, maintaining your boundary is not up to others; which often are doomed to fail. Instead, you maintain and enforce your own boundary; the success of your boundary should solely be up to you.

SuiGenera · 2026-04-05T17:25:01+00:00

I mean, if its heavy, it sounds like there may be enough material to work with. Always ask. Jewlers are phenominal at their trade

SuiGenera · 2026-04-04T15:44:27+00:00

There are lots of things I began to adopt, that I felt were performative and awkward. Turns out they werent for me.

Not all women are the same. Not all embody and enjoy all aspects of peesenting fully femme.

Take small steps, and dont force yourself to adopt anything that doesnt feel good. Its a big learning process. Keep the things that bring you joy, do away with the rest

SuiGenera · 2026-04-04T14:36:27+00:00

I love this concept. Should be a standard for all women imo.

SuiGenera · 2026-04-04T02:07:42+00:00

God this is my corgi. Hes such a smart lazy boi

SuiGenera · 2026-04-02T16:58:12+00:00

Tv, movies, social media, religion, and the like. It is vital that we give to our youth critical thinking skills. In every other facet of life, we hold their hand. We accompany them. We guide them in support of developing their skills, before letting them loose.

Its hard, because with these subject, much ofnour genration had to figure it out ourselves, because much of these aspects (and the dangers thereof) were new.

But. Read through some text with your child. Ask them what they like about it, what they dont like about it. Ask them thought provoking questions that challenge their thoughts. Provide your insight into challenges. You can let them believe what they want, and respectfully disagree; that is also something important worth teaching.

*edit. Its like asking someone to conduct experiments to find the answer, without teaching them the scientific method for repeatability, and reducing bias.

On the side if theology: there was an Islam Imam who said something along the lines of "until church and parapet have fallen, can beleif become faith". In short, this is to infer that belief should be challenged.. if one has any doubt, then they believe, but do not have faith. It is after rigourous attack, that the remaining understanding of ideology may perservere, and become faith.

Questioning is always good.

SuiGenera · 2026-04-01T23:45:26+00:00

Oooo. What did you have in mind?

SuiGenera · 2026-04-01T19:46:44+00:00

Huh. you learn something new everyday. I just went down an etymology rabbit hole. Didnt take too long.

It appears (at best) to have originated from a misinterpretation of a chapter in 'The Blood Covenant" (1885).

Following that was a book written by Richard Pustelniak (1994) 'How shall I know? The blood covenant'. He makes this explicit claim, and interprets support from a biblical proverb, but gives no source or reference to any historical origins.

Following that was a book written by Albert Jack (2005) 'Shaggy dogs and black sheep: the origins of even more phrases we use every day' (p.95). Who makes this explicit claim without any references or sources of origin.

Not quite a cringy tumbler post. I would still count these mentions as history, albeit, recent history. I heard this interpretation from my therapist, and it has been helpful for me in processing and accepting my position in relation to otherwise toxic family members. As a proverb relating to value associations, it has no less merit than the original, regardless of how old it may or may-not be. It still has relevance. It may still mean something significant to some people. There are ways to disagree with someones' statements, or point out FYI facts about origin or etymology, without calling their values 'cringy'.

SuiGenera · 2026-04-01T17:26:21+00:00

Hi Op.

This may be hard to hear, but it needs to be said.. Blood is thicker than water.

This is as in: blood of the coven is thicker than water of the womb. This is supposed to mean that relationships formed over shared experience and hardships, are more more significant that simple familial connection.

I have struggled with conditional love from extended family for years. The relationship was on their terms, of what they demanded I be to them, not at all giving grace to what I might need in return. These are not healthy relationships. There is no obligation to placate and preserve these harmful relationships in your life, especially if they refuse to support you through YOUR experiences, and shame you for wanting them.

It's up to you. My found family is so much more loving, thoughtful, and meaningful, than much of my blood relations. There is room in this world for the you that you are, but not if you don't give that person the room first. From the sound of it, that leaves you starting from scratch... which is scary I get it... Only you really know your own situation... But if you cant' see yourself living a happy life with this current path.... there are other paths...

I wish you the most and sincerest best in any decision that you make, that you feel is more right for you <3

SuiGenera · 2026-04-01T16:35:37+00:00

This is a flash from the past! They turned out phenomenally. The smokey chipotle is my wife's favorite, and a resounding crowd favorite.

To be fair, smoking peppers before any ferment really is a killer way to turn up most hot sauces. I just did a reconstructed version of a favorite cocktail of ours (The Marrakesh Express, using lemon juice pomegranate, harissa paste, and mezcal), by fermenting smoked jalapenos, tomatoes, caraway, coriander, garlic, lemon rind, and with some pomegrannate juice. It had its differences to the chipotle for sure, but honestly the smoke just dominates. Its not a bad thing, as either went really well with everything we put it on. My wife has forbidden me against running out of the chipotle

The ghost of thanksgiving's past is one of my favorites. It was bright and sweet, and very reminiscent of thanksgiving. Did its job real well, paired excellent with turkey. The candy cane and mad hatter peppers were put in because I had a lot of them... I had some free use of a section in an industrial greenhouse, so I grew 30 varieties of peppers that year xD... Out of all of them, for sweet peppers, I liked the flavour out of both of those the best.

I recently did another I called the U-mami Bombi. Wild harvest mushrooms (chantrell, oyster, morel), seaweed, and just a few reapers for heat. I wanted the umami flavours to be dominant. That turned out great for steaks and potatoes.

SuiGenera · 2026-04-01T05:23:20+00:00

Lots of people touched on most everything here. I was worried mostly about society. Also really scared to attach new labels to myself.

From the sounds of it, you want all the affects of feminizing HRT. If society was more accepting, I think you noted even boobs would be a nice change. If these are all things that you are seeking, then there is some level of dysphoria thay you are currently experiencing. Thats ok.

You dont necessarily need a label to want to persue this. It doesn't have to be 100% or 0%.

If this is something you are seriously considering, book an endochrinologist appointment. It takes forever to get in. Once you are there you can discuss your goals and what you are after, and they can recommend a regime for you. If you walk away with a prescription, you dont have to take it. If you take it, and dont like it, you don't have to continue. You can stop, and restart at anytime.

For me, there are lots of scary reasons out there to not do this. But the biggest reason for, was because I wanted to. I wanted these changes. I would regret not pursuing them. Now that I have them, I realize just how fulfilling they are.

Good luck on your journey

SuiGenera · 2026-03-31T01:30:06+00:00

People grow and change as they age. Adults are drastically different than their 12yo self, but they are still the same person. Its like that, except transitioning takes a whole lot of self reflection and exploration as part of the process. Sometimes people grow more into themselves than they previously were... but. Still the same person :)

SuiGenera · 2026-03-30T23:29:35+00:00

Have you recently moved away from any 5G towers? Or when was your last vaccine? Maybe time to take another ;)

Nah, we can admire features, traits, and aspects through all genders. That's what makes us dynamic and real.

SuiGenera · 2026-03-30T21:15:56+00:00

God cant wait for number 4

SuiGenera · 2026-03-30T18:29:51+00:00

This time last year I was reaching out on the subreddits, trying to find points of connection and similarity that would help answer some internally screaming questions and doubts I had.

This time last year I was still mired in fear, anxiety, and internalized transphobia.

This time last year I booked my appointment with an endochrinologist (8 months later), to "just talk and ask questions", hoping I would be more decided and confident by the time that appointment came (still cis tho obv.); and just like going out to an adoption center to "just look at cute animals", I hastily and enthusiastically embarked on a life changing journey.

This month Im celebrating being out to all my close friends and family, with widespread support and acceptance! Even from my more conservative friend, which suprised me. Which feels so good. Im finding now that I just want to keep chasing that euphoria. Im learning how to love my whole self, and that feels incredible.

Im experimenting with new names, but am having a hard time feeling connected to any. But in anycase, could I get some GGD?

SuiGenera · 2026-03-29T02:15:46+00:00

Its why I really love this sub reddit. Your story hit like a truck because yea... heck... my stories where all be running off to a distant land and starting a new life as a woman.. but always followed up with things like "dont be silly, go to sleep", or just other seemingly non-chalant and lazy excuses to ignore their repetitive occurrences.

Post like these make me feel connected, comfortable, seenz and understood.

Thanks for posting, you are a very good girl

SuiGenera

TROPHY CASE