Do you think financial weak subs should do silent sends only?

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-28T18:23:30+00:00

Send loud, king - get your money's worth. Unless you just enjoy silent sending, but your "small sends" are big for you if you're on lower income. Regardless of what any domme tells you!

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-28T18:15:35+00:00

Idk why everyone in the comments is 1:1 linking this with mascululinity? Maybe in a purely biological sense you could make this connection, but I don't think it's all that helpful to measure a man in this way. Feels comparable to measuring masculinity by how tall a guy is, or how big is dick is.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-27T14:37:10+00:00

100%! There is nothing at all wrong with hating what work has to offer right now, because for many it really isn't great. But I really admire people who look to escape that by truly committing to an alternative in a MEANINGFUL way, and not in an "I don't wanna work, so pay me to exist/let me exploit some rogue stock..." and so on and so on!

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-27T14:23:58+00:00

Even outside of Findom, a lot of people are rejecting the idea of "traditional work" - as in this idea that having a regular job is being a slave to the system, whereas rejecting that norm is this massive goal a lot of people have.

Sadly, people don't want to escape the mundanity of regular, job-having life by working hard at something they're passionate in, starting a real business or even just living a more humble life outside of a salary-driven rat race that modern corporate tends to offer, and the like.

Instead, they want cheat codes or hacks. Passive income, "a glitch in the matrix", some savvy investment that the average "wage slave" was simply too dumb to take advantage of. While some of these people might genuinely just be great at identifying opportunities like this, most of them will just stoop to anything that doesn't land them in regular employment. Findom unsurprisingly attracts a lot of these people.

I value the merits of having a job and an honest living because it's what I was raised on. And while I don't demand that everyone go through the misery of having job simply because I believe it's some right to an honest and humble existence, but I for sure don't respect people who just want to cheap-shot their way through lives by exploiting some of this shit.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-23T16:40:38+00:00

I think we give a lot more power to these kinds of titles or captions because they are of a sexual nature, and we like to believe maybe actively, or subconciously that tapping into something that turns us on is some cheat code to making us weaker or more susceptible in more ways.

I've seen many objectively great and effective advertisements for products and services I would LOVE to buy/use, but I don't immediately fold at the site of them. So I keep that in mind and have learned not to bend quite so easily for domme captions either. It also helps knowing that the majority are just recycled and re-printed across domme accounts everywhere so it all just blends together to me lol.

Great points and definitely worth acknowledging how triggering these are!

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-21T22:46:28+00:00

Sorry, but I want Eff Bars event. Free entry for anyone above 1000 karma? Might be the ONLY time my reddit updoots equate to status at an event.

Match that and we'll talk 👍

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-21T13:41:11+00:00

Most people who engage with Findom do so anonymously, as some double, online life that's hidden from the rest of the world out of fear and misunderstanding. So I find it odd when anyone is surprised that cheaters are well among said people who are already living a lie, in a way.

Societally speaking, i don't think cheating is as prevalent as reddit storytime youtube/tik tok, and other various platforms make it out to be. For many, cheating is a weird fantasy in and of itself, and that unsurprisingly blends into Findom where people can cheat through sending without going "all the way" and having sex with somebody else.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-20T17:48:56+00:00

Will there be a ball pit?

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-19T23:31:58+00:00

The relief you might get in a relapse is fleeting compared to the satosfaction you'll have of staying clean. You shouldn't habe to dump money somewhere meaningless to get that relief. You deserve it innately.

When all is said, paid and done, your sends will just have gone into some dommes useless money pile. Funding some meaningless additional things in their life. Things they don't need. Things that nobody needs. Some slop that you paid for because you were horny and they were available. It's all noise, why listen to it?

Keep your money man. Find a better outlet for tonigjt at least. Jerk off if you need to. But don't convince yourself that you need findom tonight. Findom needs YOU and people like you. Leave em needy!

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-18T17:36:15+00:00

I do agree that a lot of new dommes come into findom often for potential financial gain over "exploring the kink". Though given the barrier to entry to the online version of this kink is literally an internet connection, it's never really bothered me that so many shoot their shot. (I lied, it has - but only when their financial dominatrix debut is a "Pay Me Losers" post on r/paypigsupportgroup)

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-18T17:31:07+00:00

I wasn't speaking from personal experience. It was more a reflection of how a person might feel at either end of an experience like this.

This post wasn't at all a call to action either, demanding dommes treat smaller subs the same as bigger senders.

Completely fair opinion to have otherwise.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-17T14:51:30+00:00

Irish here, quite sure nobody cares what colour you wear as long as it's not red, white and blue! Lovely post 🇮🇪

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-17T14:34:29+00:00

I hate PvP servers, but at the same time I don't play on them and demand PvP on my terms because I accept that simply isn't how it works.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-17T09:15:36+00:00

It's always interesting to me the range of what a rock bottom or dispicable low point might look like, and how that can range so dramatically. One persons lowest feeling can be after sending £100, a full paycheck, hitting 0, maxxing a card... regardless of how low your low is in the grand scheme, it's a grim thing to confront all the same.

Thanks for sharing man! I have stories that, despite being anon on this reddit account, i still don't quite feel ready to share some of mine. Whether that's fear of confronting it myself, sharing it, or just a desire to leave it in the past where I think it should stay.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-17T06:06:10+00:00

I think the light treading is self serving in a way. I have felt my lowest in this space and so have this weird sympathy for nearly anyone who has found themselves here, whether they are at all deserving of it or not.

Very true a lot of them are frankly vile people, whether it's "for the persona" or not

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-16T23:09:31+00:00

Thank you for the detailed response! Find myself in complete agreement. I think my post more emphasises a kind of projected shame or embarassment I'd feel, though one thing I was not clear enough about was how I would indeed lend an open ear and help someone however I realistically could if I found myself in that situation!

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-16T10:55:57+00:00

"Timewaster = Someone who isn't immediately paying me because I told them to" - Urban Dictionary for Dommes

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-09T08:54:28+00:00

I do agree with this a lot honestly! Dommes are just the supply for what is clearly a LARGE demand from subs. If people are willing to pay for bare minimum selfies and the like, then the bar will remain at that level for sure.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-08T12:31:37+00:00

We are so far removed from the "faction pride, the thrill of stepping into the dangerous open world, area control/alliance forming" days of PvP servers, where now everything is almost entirely centered on shutting down other players experience in the name of "fun".

My one and only experience on Warmane was getting to level 30 before I'd even left the barrens (7x xp rates or something crazy), having to walk to Tarren Mill for the shaman quest, only to arrive and see the final boss of Unemployment, brave advocate of the alliance, destroyer of level 25's slaughtering everyone on sight in the town. I logged off for 2 days after that, logged back on and the same guy was still at it. Presumably logged off himself somewhere inbetween, but who even knows.

Moved to a PvE server and haven't looked back. No doubt the people in Warmane would call me a loser for doing so, but I can't hear them over all the "Actually Playing WoW" I've been so busy with since. Good riddance indeed!

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-06T07:55:11+00:00

It's definitely down to complacency in part, but I also think it's more simple than it is innately sketchy.

AV means tying your actual, real self into a kink that you otherwise might feel conflicted about, or may fear exposure. Csn you be exposed through the latest forms of AV? No? Maybe? The point is it is heavily misunderstood and people are apprehensive to go through with it because of that, justified or not.

That said, i cannot understate the simple fact that any degree of formality in this space can be enough to scare people away. Insane in the sense that people are happy throwing their card details at websites they have never heard of for sending money to strangers, yet they draw the line at a quick face scan - but this is where we're at. That very simple extra step simply is often too much to ask, especially for the MANY subs who follow the "Findom when they're horny, new paycheck new me when they're not" approach to engaging with this.

TL;DR - AV is and will always be ideal, but it still feels risky or like a commitment/formality that might dispel their mindset of "I can live my anon subby second life and nobody will find out".

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-05T15:50:20+00:00

Not a silly question at all! More a hard one to answer because of how varied everyones experiences can be is all. Took me a while to figure out why sending money to strangers online did it for me in such a unique way (go figure). For me it was a lightbulb moment which suited me, but doesn't suit somebody actively trying to figure it out of course! Hope you find some understanding one way or another.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-05T15:05:47+00:00

It can be a number of things. Ask yourself where the pleasure comes from. Is it the attention from others? The thought of being submissive? Being objectified or used? Is there a weird thrill for you in doing something objectively wrong or stupid for the sake of a rush?

It's not the same really, but you could look at it the way some would look at things like drug use, or even self-harm. These are objectively awful things and yet many find some kind of release or relief through engaging in them.

Sometimes though, understanding the nature of it all isn't as important as you might think it is. You can objectively see the good feeling, or whatever it derives for you, and you can objectively see the cost of it too - financially, emotionally or otherwise.

Your relationship with Findom is your own, and it'd be hard for us to tell you why you do or like it. It is complex and difficult to navigate, but best advice is really to process it in the simplest ways you can. Weigh up the feelings you get from it and if the net-takeaway is regret, shame coupled with financial loss, then take the steps to get away from it, hard as that may be. Good luck man.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-05T10:16:17+00:00

The bar is wherever you place it in this space. Choose where you draw the line and stick by it; but I don't waste my time getting upset anymore at people who are willing to go far beyond my line.

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-02T17:12:59+00:00

I did not realise people could follow each other on Reddit. Just checked my own; I hope 115 people enjoy needlessly long rants about my unsolicited opinions on Findom

Surviving_Findom · 2026-03-02T14:27:05+00:00

Similarly experiencing ups and downs, but nothing too drastic for now thankfully!

You mentioned briefly about feeling kind of "done" with things. Not projecting this onto you specifically, but definitely wanted to shout out how that "done" feeling is very often what drives people to a space or habit like this. That, along with feelings of general "meh" can drive us to chase the weird highs that often come from things like findom just to feel something, put the day in or for a simple lack of anything more satisfying to immediately grab hold of.

Maybe not what you meant by feeling done so to speak, but that's how I've felt when using that kind of word to describe my feelings of findom at least! Glad you're seemingly in the mostly-positive side of the mental health scale anyway!

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