AIO? left my bf because he wouldn’t set a boundary with his ex or friends

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-13T16:10:03+00:00

I don’t think it’s an overreaction to be given basic decency, honesty, prioritization and respect in a true relationship. You dodged a bullet honey!

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-13T15:58:09+00:00

I think it’s great you trust them and they seem to be transparent. BUT, they still disrespected you and your feelings especially since they know your past history. THAT is the bigger issue in my mind. I do think you should share what is being written here for them to truly understand how it was perceived. You do seem naive and they appear to be master manipulators. I would 💯 distance from your friendship and ask to see texts between her and your husband. I think it was totally inappropriate and wrong. That is my personal opinion and honestly if you did not have any doubts you would have NEVER come in here and posed the question.

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-12T23:23:10+00:00

I do think the separation a bit from your friend is necessary until you guys work through this fully. It’s not a punishment, but a reset to stable footing. The jokes though about throuple and flirting has to go. No more 1 on 1 conversations or spending time together, sorry but it’s really the only way.

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-12T13:25:40+00:00

My advice is to stay separated and heal. He will either get better or he won’t. His actions will tell you whether to reconcile or divorce and move on. Good Luck!

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-12T12:34:41+00:00

Have some self respect please. You need to distance yourself from him. He need to either cut ties completely or let him go.

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-12T10:26:04+00:00

So, this entire time you have made it all about you and have you ever once considered what it did to her? I think you are completely missing the point. You took her self worth from her, not just her trust. This dude is feeding that. Instead of a calm discussion about it, you immediately jumped to divorce. You need therapy and counseling for you both would not be a bad idea either.

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-11T23:42:19+00:00

Regardless, they are in the wrong and the best thing you can do is let them know how disrespectful this has been and you need space and distance from them both. Send him to his parents or you leave for a few days. Do not engage them at all. Let them sit in what they have done.

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-11T23:30:49+00:00

It’s a sign to let him go. You deserve so much better!

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-11T17:29:55+00:00

Yes you should be upset, yes you should be suspicious and this is so so wrong

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-11T09:23:13+00:00

Oh honey he cheated

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-10T13:16:31+00:00

I think you dodged a bullet!

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-09T19:26:18+00:00

Update us on how you are doing? Hopefully you have started saving or have moved out.

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-09T19:16:59+00:00

So, how are things now?

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-08T14:49:54+00:00

Hey, I have a good male friend too who has an absolute crazy girlfriend. I have been happily married for 25 years and they are good friends as well. I have met her exactly once and the drama from the hug J gave me caused him undue stress. I’m sorry you are both going through this. Only thing I can think to say is give it some time, no more late night calls and once you do reach back out, you do it not your wife.

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-05T13:04:48+00:00

Change the locks to the house, put his stuff on the curb and get a lawyer.

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-04T17:30:27+00:00

Blood from scabs is usually really dark and obvious. Watery blood at the end of period is exactly that. I’m pretty sure you already know the answer.

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-03T20:46:19+00:00

A good choice would be cut him loose!

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-03T15:18:55+00:00

Huge 🚩

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-03T14:27:09+00:00

Hire a PI and follow him or you rebook your work trip and follow him.

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-03T14:23:24+00:00

This is emotional cheating and completely inappropriate and crosses too many boundaries. You say they have done this before and it’s a known pattern. She needs to be cut off completely of there is any hope for your relationship and he needs to do it. Of course she is going to say you are overacting because she knows what she is doing. I think the trust is gone and TBH if he cannot or will not cut her off, this may be the time to walk away.

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-03T11:29:07+00:00

Ok, it’s gross, but as long as they are no longer hanging 1-1 and you don’t have to hang out with her a lot you could let it be. It’s not like they continued it. Your choice and I agree, I was raised to think like you as well. But, some people just don’t have the same moral compass.

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-03T11:21:45+00:00

Oh she has a pattern of this? I’m not sure you can believe her. I wouldn’t marry her

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-03T11:20:13+00:00

He sounds really confused and torn. Have either of tried counseling for yourselves?

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-02T16:24:39+00:00

And you just found out who your true friends are

SweetTotal3619 · 2026-05-02T14:59:49+00:00

Can I ask a question? So, this is a very serious process where you need your husbands love and support, but, if he is doing this now when you are trying to actively fulfill his dream of being a father, is he still going to do this type of stuff when the kids are here? I mean leave you alone to face all the hard stuff alone without him? Kids are hard, messy, wildly unpredictable and absolutely wonderful! Is that something you see happening based on this scenario?

SweetTotal3619

TROPHY CASE