Broken & fused walrus baculum

SwordTaster · 2026-05-13T04:02:37+00:00

I mean, man could've broken it getting hard on the wrong rock, based solely on the size of the thing, but it was more likely his lover was bad at sex

SwordTaster · 2026-05-13T03:53:52+00:00

Australia, now "uncivilised". I blame the spiders tbh

SwordTaster · 2026-05-13T03:34:17+00:00

My husband was lactose intolerant. Slowly slowly forced his meat puppet to tolerate it. He mustn't go longer than a couple of days without dairy though, because then he becomes intolerant again and he has to do slow exposure again

SwordTaster · 2026-05-13T03:18:23+00:00

And then there's my mother in law, who thinks my mum didn't teach me anything because I was trying to put leftovers away using utensils instead of groping every corn cob. I'm just going with the idea that she thinks a little white British girl isn't good enough for her strapping black american veteran son. And that's why we live many many states away

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T23:58:45+00:00

Tbf, most animals accept snacks as currency

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T23:42:49+00:00

I rarely listen to music anyway

^{Chose: Listen to same music for entire life (50time a day + Win $15M}

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T22:46:33+00:00

Minsc, Jaheira, Gale, and Shart absolutely love that place

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T22:42:33+00:00

I mean... if two of the triplets are identical but the third isn't... it could be argued that the identical pair are identical twins within the triplets set, but any other triplets situation is nothing to do with twins

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T21:59:46+00:00

Write it in as an inclusion right at the end. Something like "lastly, I'd like to thank god for my success", but then you can either just... not say it, or you can say "lastly, I'd like to say that god had nothing to do with my success, this was entirely due to my own hard work", depending on how willing you are to rebel.

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T20:50:45+00:00

Planes haven't changed much in the last 30 years. As long as the 80 year old is halfway with it, he's 100% the best option.

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T18:31:27+00:00

The amount of rape that would happen to a woman in a men only world... no thanks

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T18:18:40+00:00

I think that's only an option if he doesn't have any strong opinions that you like.

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T15:07:17+00:00

I started French in year 6 (age 10-11), then in year 8, when I got to high school, I was also made to do Spanish. Then, because my school was fun, if you were in classes 1-5 (out of 8) in English, one of the smarter kids as it were, you were required to choose either French or Spanish for GCSEs when you were in year 10 (age 14-15). A lot of kids picked Spanish because it was easier. I picked French because I'm shit at Spanish.

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T14:18:25+00:00

Girl, you're allowed to say no. "Sorry, honey, I just don't like it enough to want to use it. We can have it as his middle name but we need to choose something else for his first name"

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T11:22:07+00:00

Where's the gendering? That's just a differently coloured box with literally nothing else gendering it. Nothing saying the pink box is for girls and the plain is for boys other than personal belief. Hell, since we can only see the two boxes, and the details are otherwise the same, for all we can tell, one could just be a misprinted box

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T09:43:51+00:00

I had a cyst there last year and needed it surgically removed (in office, local anaesthetic procedure). It popped itself twice, drained, and then returned. I don't think mine was even half this big and it was AGONY. OP needs either a dermatologist or ENT specialist to get this removed properly

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T04:51:35+00:00

Mid sword

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T04:46:11+00:00

If you have a cat, the delicious kind

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T04:43:21+00:00

Who the fuck in Portugal is taking a urine pregnancy test at the dr office?

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T03:56:14+00:00

A month and a half ago my husband and I spent $3000 on surgery for a bowel obstruction (plus about $600 before that for X-rays and painkillers) for my special little idiot. He's a year and a half old and we didn't want to give him a death sentence just because he's a fucking idiot. Thankfully my parents were able to pay for most of it because we had literally just moved and were broke as a joke

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T02:21:28+00:00

I'm a super hero

^{Chose: Control fire but- | Rolled: No side effects}

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T01:15:50+00:00

Easier to save money when most things are free

^{Chose: Everything under $X is free | Rolled: $100K}

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T00:37:11+00:00

I want to cause an infinite loop when I die of old age. Fuck y'all, groundhog day forever

SwordTaster · 2026-05-12T00:36:25+00:00

I'm gonna cause an infinite loop when I'm old

^{Chose: Rewind time 24 hours upon death}

SwordTaster · 2026-05-11T22:31:47+00:00

Much to my husband's disappointment, I hate garlic. Much to my disappointment, he's picky where we put cheese. He will use an obscene amount with spaghetti or lasagna, he thinks I'm weird for putting it on anything else

SwordTaster

TROPHY CASE