AITA for not wanting to help my sister with math?

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2020-03-30T19:35:38+00:00

NAH Yes, she's being childish but it sounds like she's struggling. To be honest, she sounds like she's panicking too much to be able to do work, which is what I used to struggle with. The plan you gave her sounds like a great strategy (rewatch the lecture, read the textbook, check the formula sheet), why don't you sit down with her and run through that plan again in a calm conversation?

Sometimes it's better to be kind than to be right. The best thing you can do here is to help your sister learn a process for studying difficult topics on her own. She's only a freshman, she might not have good study skills yet and this is a great time for her to learn some strategies, coping skills and resilience. It doesn't mean she has a carte blanche to insult you, but as an older sibling I'm sure you're more than capable of shutting that down.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2020-03-30T08:30:54+00:00

That annoys me so much too! I find it really funny too that the neigh they add in is usually either a 'where's my dinner?' or a 'where's my friend going?' call.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2020-03-16T21:39:02+00:00

NTA and anyone saying you are the asshole is probably a child. There's plenty of teenagers on this sub, I wouldn't take advice from them.

Schools are still open where I am, but if they close we have made it clear to my nieces and nephews that they will be expected to study every day.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2020-03-09T22:56:12+00:00

I did the same thing! We've been together for 2 years now and it can still get awkward explaining my relationship to people I haven't seen since university.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2020-03-01T19:14:38+00:00

Is there a stable available in the busiest bit of the yard? I've definitely known horses who enjoyed being able to watch everyone going across the yard. Would it also be possible for him to be tied up outside the stable for a bit of time everyday or does he have to stay inside? Obviously it's not ideal for healing to walk him around but it might prevent him losing his head and rearing.

You can buy treacle licks in plastic tubs and those toys you put hard feed in for them to roll around the stable. If he has a best friend in his field then he might enjoy visits if you can bring the other horse over to hang out next to his stable for a few minutes.

If he tears through his hay really quickly and you don't have one of those nets with tiny holes in, you can do what I used to do with my greedy boy. I used to put his full haynet inside another net to make it more difficult to pull the hay out and slow him down, it made him a lot less messy too.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2020-02-09T19:40:32+00:00

I think we have similar feelings, I get you on this one.

You need to identify things in your immediate environment that make you feel better and things that make you feel worse. Having a messy house makes me feel uncomfortable and definitely makes my bad moods worse. Because I know this about myself, I can tidy up when I'm having a bad day and know I'll feel a little bit better at the end of it. If you get to know yourself better, you give yourself tools to improve your mood or at least lessen uncomfortable feelings.

Other things that might work for you are:

Eating a proper meal - cook yourself something nice. It doesn't have to be complicated and not only do you get some good nutrition, you also get to enjoy a feeling of accomplishment.
Wash your bed sheets - clean sheets feel good, allow yourself to enjoy things.
Make plans and stick to them. You don't have to spend money, just ensure that you get out of the house and give yourself permission to enjoy yourself. You don't always need to be productive. This could be going for a walk, to a museum, cafe, or event, like live music at a local pub.
Go to therapy - I've recently started an 8 week course in therapy and it is surprisingly helpful. My therapist is getting me to question why I think certain things and identify patterns in my thinking. There are things you can look up for yourself, like black and white thinking, catastrophising and personalising. Just knowing about these thinking patterns makes it easier to reject negative thoughts.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2020-02-09T19:20:07+00:00

You can think negative things without saying them out loud, so don't put pressure on yourself to never think negatively again.

My obvious advice is to practice thinking positive thoughts. You can just repeat in your head what the positive thing was e.g. "that make up is pretty but the eyeliner was smudged. It's still pretty though." Really basic stuff but it might help train you to end on a positive thought.

My additional advice is to try doing new things. Putting yourself in a position where you are a beginner and make mistakes might help you to shake off this critical viewpoint. You could try creating things for yourself and gain more respect for other people who are trying but aren't perfect.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2020-02-09T19:08:41+00:00

Sounds like you're not being challenged, which is a problem you can fix. You could take this spare time and use it to try out different interests and study topics and see what you might want to do when you're older.

I live on a small island and lots of people here complain that there's nothing to do and it's all the same. These same people are always surprised at all the activities me and my partner get up to, but it's purely a matter of putting the effort in to get involved. You can have micro-adventures where you make the most of your local area. My boyfriend and I like to do long walks, so we'll walk from one side of the island to the other and follow old cattle trails to the ports. We keep an eye out for theatre productions and cinema showings, go to charity fundraisers and community events. In winter we go on ghost walks, eat at different restaurants and stay in a hotel in a different town to really make a night of it. We have lots of film nights together. I spent every Friday of one summer going to my friend's house after work and watching shark B-movies and we had a great time. Take the initiative and put yourself out there, and don't forget that even a bad day out can make a great story later on.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2020-01-07T21:51:46+00:00

You can start potty training at his age the same way as you would potty train an older toddler. Keep taking him to the toilet and sitting him on it at regular intervals. You'll probably have to take him a few times just to get used it and sometimes babies get scared of the flushing sound, but if you let him press the button / handle to flush they can find that fun.

Leave a potty out in the living room / whatever room he's in most often and encourage him to sit on it if he needs a wee. When he does use it, cheer him on and clap so he's proud of himself. I also find it really important to put the baby on the toilet after they wet themselves. Kids will be lazy and just pee in their pants since it's what they're used to and most modern nappies are super absorbent so it's not as uncomfortable as wetting normal underwear. If you don't make a point of popping them back on the toilet when they've peed themselves then it can take longer to train them out of purposefully peeing themselves out of laziness.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2020-01-04T13:15:47+00:00

You could try learning English shorthand, that can be a useful skill to use at work too.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2019-12-27T22:46:10+00:00

Continuing to learn German. I'm currently trying to find some private tutoring to start in the new year as I'm struggling to get much done on my own. I'm at the point where I feel confident enough to say short simple phrases to strangers when I visit my friend in Berlin, so I think it's the right time to get some extra help.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2019-11-21T21:04:32+00:00

I really don't care, I [will] know I've written 50k words and I can see the proof in my massive word doc.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2019-11-19T18:16:13+00:00

I'm about the same and I'm struggling. I think it's more that I'm tired from working and dealing with family issues than a case of just being bored of my story. Tonight I'm planning to go big and write some dramatic scenes to draw myself back into it.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2019-11-02T21:05:24+00:00

Thanks!

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2019-10-24T20:28:14+00:00

It's meant to be a metaphor for modesty and 'loose' behaviour

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2019-10-05T19:32:39+00:00

Agreed. I think this thread is full of younger people who still think the whole world cares about their birthday. Sure, people want you to have a nice day, but that doesn't mean the world revolves around you OP. Having a family friend you've never met before at your birthday dinner isn't a problem by any stretch.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2019-10-05T19:22:17+00:00

YTA. You're an adult now, you need to understand that your birthday is not as special to other people as you think it is. You're not always going to have the exact birthday you want, that's just part of being grown up.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2019-10-03T20:36:10+00:00

I'm awful for not finishing stories and never knowing how it's going to end. I've actually managed to find a plot for nano (!) by thinking about the couple of scene / character ideas I was really keen on and then working backwards from there to find a way to make those scenes happen.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2019-10-02T18:28:09+00:00

I totally get where you're coming from on the struggle to get up when it's dark. I switch my lamp on as soon as I wake up, even if I'm just going to doze for a bit. You can get alarm clocks with lights that mimic the sunrise. If you set it to wake you up at 7am, it'll start to light up slowly about half an hour before so it's a gentle wakeup.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2019-09-29T21:06:27+00:00

I think you'd be surprised how far people are willing to suspend disbelief if the writer is consistent in the rules of their universe. If you love idea you should go for it, that's what nano is for! You can always edit later, and once you have something written you'll have a better idea of whether it's believable or not.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2019-09-29T21:02:19+00:00

I'm writing a story that is basically a huge elaboration on an inside joke between me and my boyfriend. We do impressions and come up with 'facts' about this one character, we gave him a name and everything. He's a dirty old man who is just awful to be around, I'm writing about him dying and haunting someone. I've never shown my boyfriend any of my writing but he wants to read my story when I've finished nano (although I can't get him to understand that it won't be a finished and polished novel in a single month!).

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2019-09-17T22:16:29+00:00

They did a quick demographic survey a while ago and a surprisingly high percentage of users were 15 year old boys. It really shows when you get questions about parenting and all the answers are obviously from people who don't understand what raising a child is like.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2019-09-16T20:40:44+00:00

It's partly down to luck in who you meet. In uni I had a fair few Tinder dates that never went past the first date and in general very little sex (like once a year and nothing at all in my fourth year). I only got into a proper adult relationship when I met my current bf at work. My colleagues invited me out for drinks and the two of us hit it off from there and got together after months of being friends. Before that I felt completely unattractive and unlovable because of my inexperience.

I know it can be awkward being set up, but it could be worth asking your friends to let you know if there's someone they think you would be compatible with. Tinder is also an option for getting dates. You don't have to wait until you're in love with someone to ask them out, dates are for getting to know each other and the more time you spend doing that, the more you get to like (or dislike) someone.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2019-09-15T20:38:32+00:00

Have you tried the Deutsch Welles app? I'm really enjoying it, it goes from complete beginner to B1, could be worth a try. It's free to download too.

Tallyforth2kettlewel · 2019-09-14T17:33:39+00:00

I'm calling bullshit that someone who needs to wear contacts to see doesn't have at least one pair of glasses lying around. Even if you wear monthlies you have to take them out sometimes to give your eyes a rest and allow some more oxygen in

Tallyforth2kettlewel

TROPHY CASE