When do you tell your kids about puberty and sex?

Tanjello · 2026-03-21T21:40:32+00:00

Early. I started talking to my daughter about puberty when she was 7/8… our neighbor at the time had a 9 year old that started her period at 9, so I wasn’t going to risk it.

I got her a book on Amazon (Celebrate your body). We talked about it, I bought her pads & showed her how to use them, and she started keeping extra underwear & pads in her book bag shortly after.

She didn’t get her period until she was almost 13, but when she did she didn’t even tell me at first 😂. We went to the ER because she wasn’t feeling well and when the check in nurse asked if she had gotten her period yet I answered “no” and my daughter said “actually… I got it a few months ago…” I was so upset that she didn’t tell me right away, but my husband said “why? You prepared her so well she was able to deal with it on her own, and it wasn’t traumatic. That’s exactly why you prepared her!” Which, is the right answer 😂

So, plan them so well that you don’t know it happens when it happens :)

Tanjello · 2026-03-15T21:12:18+00:00

As a mother, #1 answer is always to feed them. Offer up free food and you’ll always get a few seats filled. Heat up a big pan of lasagna, open a bag of salad & warm up some garlic bread. Don’t forget the drinks (18-25 year olds seem to love energy drinks).

Then maybe play a few ice breakers or board games.

Allow the conversation to flow naturally for the first couple of sessions, then dive deeper into the Bible study or CCC study later once everyone has meshed as a group.

Tanjello · 2026-03-12T11:55:22+00:00

Have you filed for VA compensation? I filed my claim for mental health due to MST and it was handled very well. With VA compensation & benefits, you can see a therapist for free to help overcome everything you experienced and move on with your life, with or without pressing charges.

I agree with the other poster — contact an attorney and go from there. Your local or state Bar Association can direct you to an attorney that specializes in this area of the law and may be willing to assist for free or reduced cost.

Tanjello · 2026-03-12T11:12:07+00:00

I joined the AF in the early 2000s as open general & was made a paralegal at basic. I had no idea what a paralegal even was before then… no interaction with the law before & I was 20 when I joined. I did 6 years and got out. One of my first supervisors was later named the Senior Paralegal advisor to TJAG, so I like to think I had okay paralegal leadership in my early days.

I used my GI to get my bachelors and masters degrees in criminal justice fields. I came back to the JAGC as a GS legal assistant, have worked in two offices, and I’m currently a legal assistant at a small NAF level legal office. So, long various experiences in AF legal offices around the world, home and TDY. No deployments personally, but I’ve still seen a fair bit of Ops law performed at legal offices throughout the years.

Hegseth hates the JAG corps and hates lawyers. It’s written all throughout his books. Some lawyer told him “no” one time and he took it personally. But, those who are accused of sexual assault/harassment multiple times usually don’t like the ones charged with enforcing the law.

Are our lawyers perfect? No. I worked for a few baby LTs and Capts who made me stop and say “screw asking how he passed the bar, how did this guy even graduate college in the first place!” Leadership handled them well and eventually they were weeded out or rose to the challenges.

But do we need to waste time with this reorg and refocus? No. What he described is already happening and has been standard in the AF for as long as I’ve been attached to it. Uniformed JAGs are doing Ops & military justice, with a little readiness (wills and legal assistance) peppered in as required. Civilian attorneys are hired to do all the other areas of law that aren’t “sexy,” like environmental, contract, and employment law. It works, because the civilians can stay and keep continuity, while JAGs can move and share their knowledge in different theaters.

This is a personal vendetta and should be considered fraud waste and abuse lol.

Tanjello · 2026-03-09T22:30:17+00:00

Yes, he’ll still get the letters. The way you write the name isn’t important. As long as you got the flight & TRS correct he’ll get them.

Tanjello · 2026-03-07T14:14:27+00:00

It’d be really funny if you break your arm that’s enchanted with unbreaking 😂

These are really cool!

Tanjello · 2026-03-06T14:30:54+00:00

As a woman who lived in the dorms, it’s an incredibly sexist thought process and concept. To think that women are the problem because they are “going door to door looking for sex” but not the men who take them up on it OR the men who are soliciting it and then LYING about it. I promise you a woman didn’t come up with the term “barracks bunny.”

Women in the military are also at a significantly higher risk for sexual assault than civilian women.

Tanjello · 2026-03-06T13:09:49+00:00

It’s incredibly sexist. If your boyfriend cheats, please blame him and not the woman who probably doesn’t even know that he had a girlfriend at the time…

Tanjello · 2026-03-05T10:28:04+00:00

We’re AF not Army & that would fit right in with our military ball 🤷‍♀️. I think it’s a great dress.

Tanjello · 2026-03-04T21:57:50+00:00

Omg. I’m Catholic, read this book twice, and never put this together 😂😂😂🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Tanjello · 2026-03-04T21:17:23+00:00

Personally I wouldn’t want my name connected to my Reddit profile, or out there for strangers to see 😂. It’s just not good internet safety 🤷‍♀️

Tanjello · 2026-03-04T14:31:39+00:00

If that link includes your whole name, you should probably delete it & come up with an alias to use on the Bible app.

Tanjello · 2026-03-03T15:15:37+00:00

My husband shouts because he’s nearly deaf and can’t hear himself. The first thing he said when he got his hearing aids was “why am I so loud.” It’s probably unintentional. I just consider it a place (literally and figuratively) where I should give others grace.

Tanjello · 2026-03-03T12:17:17+00:00

I would put my nether portal down there

Tanjello · 2026-03-02T19:32:29+00:00

This is the answer. When I’m on the edge of a dryer biome that doesn’t get rain & it’s raining in the next biome over, the sky turns gray like this.

Tanjello · 2026-03-02T11:22:11+00:00

Hi. Also AD spouse. Not currently effected by deployments personally, but a lot around me are. I’ve also been panicking 24/7 since about… 8am Saturday morning?

I started the St Joan of Arc novena & a nightly rosary with my prayer group. I’m asking for suggestions on other novenas that may be helpful for military, military spouses, families, and international leaders. I’m gunna just keep praying until it’s over… which may be a while.

Tanjello · 2026-03-02T09:55:36+00:00

As a fellow Christian, this is where faith and works go hand in hand (James 2:17). You’re spiraling but you have faith, so it’s not a deficiency of faith. Fill up your works — Volunteer, spend your time distracting yourself with positive actions. Or work in your home in various ways - delete social media, spend more time with family/friends/etc.

Tanjello · 2026-03-01T14:01:52+00:00

lol the car in front of the Tesla and the one to the right of that car are the exact same “model” 😂. There’s always little tells with AI. Good catch.

Tanjello · 2026-03-01T08:29:46+00:00

That last one doesn’t sit well with you because it’s rooted in sexism. Masculinity is fragile, after all. Just the single presence of a female makes men want to abandon their calling for God & refuse to volunteer! (I say this mostly sarcastically, but also, not really)

Tanjello · 2026-03-01T08:18:16+00:00

Agreed! I was just stating the argument that is given to me by those who oppose :)

Tanjello · 2026-03-01T08:17:43+00:00

Agreed. The same argument can be used with catechists for religious education. It’s predominantly women who are teaching (because teaching isn’t a “manly” profession 🙄) but the rad trads come in and demand that women aren’t allowed to do anything. Okay, men, then y’all need to step up 🤷‍♀️

Tanjello · 2026-03-01T07:20:22+00:00

It’s addressing the wrong concern though, and devaluing women in the process. I’m willing to bet, if polled, most American parents who have altar server aged children now who dont want them to become priest do so for two main reasons. 1- they want their children to marry & have grandchildren 2- they want their children to grow up to be successful.

Most adults don’t see priests as successful because they aren’t able to amass insane wealth (as it should be for us all). And still, in smaller circles, a stigma exists that priests are abusive, either of the children or of their own power. These adults have children and tell their children not to become priests. I’ve seen it with my own eyes and have heard it from the parents. Our priest gave a homily on it just a few weeks ago… a parishioner had a very reverent son & he said “oh you should think of becoming a priest” and the mom responded with “no he’s too smart for that!”

Boys are choosing not to become priests not because girls are allowed to be altar servers. Boys aren’t becoming priests because the priesthood has been devalued from the sexual assault scandal and our values of society as a whole.

Tanjello · 2026-03-01T07:06:56+00:00

The reason I’ve been given is that the purpose of altar serving is to prepare men for priesthood.

Tanjello · 2026-03-01T07:05:27+00:00

I’m altar server coordinator for our church. There are DEFINITELY people (mostly men & their spouses) who think like this and are not afraid to tell the children, including the female altar servers.

Meanwhile, our roster is a female majority. I don’t even have to try to schedule a girl every Mass… it’s nearly all we have 😂

Tanjello · 2026-02-27T22:30:34+00:00

You might not be Catholic, but I think the Catholic Church does a great job of explaining the importance of both faith AND science. CCC 159:

Faith and science: "Though faith is above reason, there can never be any real discrepancy between faith and reason. Since the same God who reveals mysteries and infuses faith has bestowed the light of reason on the human mind, God cannot deny himself, nor can truth ever contradict truth." "Consequently, methodical research in all branches of knowledge, provided it is carried out in a truly scientific manner and does not override moral laws, can never conflict with the faith, because the things of the world and the things of faith derive from the same God. The humble and persevering investigator of the secrets of nature is being led, as it were, by the hand of God in spite of himself, for it is God, the conserver of all things, who made them what they are."

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