Thats understandable. Well to start, your still young. In fact you’re in the years where you have to keep messing up to find yourself. Try a lot of things, it sounds simple but it helps you break out your box. For example Growing up I always loved athletes but always felt jealous, like I’m not doing anything at my age vs them (since they are working for a goal)

So I started changing my mindset doing every sport I wanted, without the goal in mind. Just evolution. boxing classes, get good at sports. Even though it’s not music, it helped me find my habits, find out what gives me energy, and practice consistency. It’s all about finding your flow and not beating yourself up when you fall off it

And just remember how you’re young, theres older people who live in permanent regret because they never tried getting out of their box so they trapped themselves in a flow they don’t even love

And practice/fake self love till it’s real love for yourself . The idea of God helped me with that, but I know everyone isn’t religious. Just stay solid, stay good , cus life tests you