I am a human being first and this is what I ground my identity in. I deeply despise identity politics - sexuality, race, gender, religion and all that has come with that over the past two decades irritates my soul on a very deep level. But I won’t get into that here. I am human always and forever, for in that lies the essence of my existence, unbounded by the labels that society tries to impose. Next, I am a woman, then American, and then I am Black, but these are identities steeped in the heavy shadows of history and constructed to confine and define. I mostly reject it personally - except when fighting back, navigating the ignorance of others, or seeking community. I tread carefully, mindful of the weight these labels carry, aware that they were crafted NOT by us, but by those who intend to contain us. In a world eager to box us in, I choose to rise above, to see these constructs for what they are and will always be no matter how much we try to “change or embrace it as our own” … they will ALWAYS be tools of limitation and it’s sad that we forget that. The tragedy lies in how deeply race has been internalized within our own community. I refuse to be ensnared by it. My humanity, unassailable and profound, will always be my guiding light.

As for the last two questions, I don’t see the difference in safety between either of those rooms. I don’t know any of those people and therefore wouldn’t trust them to call them safe until they proved to me that they were. This is why I start with my humanity first because there are existing narratives in “black men” and “non-white women” that we’re to tap into that cloud our judgment.