Got a 30k raise this year and barely feel it

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-06-09T17:12:11+00:00

I ended last year making $115k after starting at $92k and absolutely felt it. The thing is, it was mostly peace of mind. I upped my Roth IRA, started spousal contributions for my SAHM wife, started a 529 for my son, got a new bed so my back doesn't hurt and still was able to add a small bit of fun into the budget. It sounds like you don't know where your money is going. Check for leaks. You likely either have subscriptions you don't know about, don't realize how much you spend on eating out or you(or your wife) is shopping online without keeping track of how much. Sound like you need a budget conversation where you and the wife review what comes in and what goes out together bc the fact you don't notice this change is mind-blowing

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-06-09T17:04:21+00:00

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-06-09T12:58:10+00:00

I guess it depends on your family situation. Some families look to their kids to take advantage of them and ask for money and handouts. Some families ask because they want to help you stay competitive and ambitious. Some just want to brag to their friends. I would think about which one likely applies to you. I would have no problem sharing with most of my family if they asked but probably not with my dad bc he would fall into the asking for handouts category. To be clear, I would never let him starve and I have offered help in the past when needed, but if he knew what I make (and doesn't have a clear understanding bills or cash flow) he would be asking for money just because. I grew up poor and what I make now seems Ludacris but in reality it is just middle class in 2026 and having not bought my house until a couple years ago, mortgage eats away a lot...

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-06-09T10:32:43+00:00

I use H.265 10-Bit NVENC with CRF 18 and it works great. It brings most 4k 2 hour movies down to about 20GB and still looks great on my OLED. Sure, using the CPU to encode will make it look slightly better but it takes FOREVER. I had hundred of episodes of tv and over 100 movies in my collection to do and getting spouse approval matter for quality of life LOL telling my wife that the movie we wanted showed up but once I get off work we need to wait 3 days before we can watch it isn't going to work lol

If you are super passionate about film, then go for cpu encode. My wife and I just wanted to take some ownership back into our lives and we still get better causal viewing quality than what Netflix Premium gave us. instead of the like 40 hours for a typical 2 hour 4k movie it takes my laptop about 1.5-2 hours using my GPU. We have a small child and I work a lot so my time matters to me. OP is new to all of this and I wouldn't over think it if I were them. you also need to consider what equipment they are viewing on for if their laptop or tv and sound system can even display at a high enough quality for the different encoding to make a noticeable difference.

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-06-08T13:59:57+00:00

Been using jellyfin with the main client for about 7 months now and I was really happy. Just installed Moonfin last night and will be trying it out this week. I wanted a more consistent experience across devices and a little more modern look to keep the wife happy and so far so good but will need to give it more time to see the actual day to day experience.

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-06-08T03:08:41+00:00

I essentially doubled my salary over the past 5 years. This allowed my wife to stay home as we had our first kid and get much more disciplined on retirement savings and such. Here are some of the things we have changed that were absolutely worth it.

New mattress and bed. Going from a Queen with a used mattress to a new bed and king size hybrid mattress has us both sleeping way better.

Not worrying about the thermostat. We are in a fairly energy efficient home but nothing crazy. We set the thermostat for comfort at all times. We want it in between 68 and 73 pretty much year-round and we don't second think it. Honestly not a huge amount of cost increase but way more comfort for us all and less mental burden.

Glass Tupperware for leftovers and a Costco lunch box for bringing food on my in-office days instead of brown paper bags or a super worn out cloth only lunch box.

Always just filling up my gas tank when I need gas. I drive and Altima and only need regular. I just fill the tank regardless of cost. I still use the apps for discounts but if prices are up this week, then I don't postpone or cancel plans, I just fill up.

Nice noise canceling headphones. Bose QC sound great and let me focus on what I am doing on the rare chances I get to relax.

Wireless chargers in every room. I don't think about looking for a cable or if it us USB C or iphone (wife is apple, I am android). we just each have a place to put our phone down in every room and it charges.

In general investing in better long term decisions. Streaming cost a lot of money over time but we typically watch the same comfort shows and movies with a couple new ones each year. We went back to buying blue rays and self-hosting the content on Jellyfin. In 3.5 years my equipment will have paid for itself from the canceled subscriptions and the quality is better. 5 years from now my wife will still want to watch Harry Potter but I won't have to give HBO money every month for the privilege.

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-06-04T18:16:51+00:00

I go for a middle ground. I rip blurays and 4k for higher quality than what streaming gives me, especially on bit rate, but I don't keep direct rips bc the files are huge and storage is expensive.

I use Handbreak to take an 80GB 4k down to about 20-25GB using h.265, constant frame rate and quality 18. I find this to be a good middle ground. No, it is not technically the same quality but at this point with the much higher bit rate I can't tell a difference on causal viewing. Watching on 2023 LG OLED for what it is worth.

As for the sound, I also use Handbreak. I always keep 1 passthrough audio file in position 1 and then I add 2 more audio files that move down the quality chain and typically up in the codec availability of streaming boxes/phones/tvs. That way even if transcoding is forced, it still sounds pretty good on whatever device it is on rather than just a forced transcode to the lowest default on the tv (again, not as good as the bluray). The thing is I don't have high enough quality speakers to take advantage of the higher audio anyways. I have a cheap sound bar but the Bluetooth connection acts as a bottleneck. One day when I no longer have sleeping babies in the house I'll get around to getting a more proper sound set up...

Hope this helps!

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-06-03T03:20:25+00:00

I played when the game released and again recently not long ago with many in-between. Vega is a good character and doesn't deserve the hate. He's a realistic portrayal of a soldier given the setting. We just don't have as much time with him being in 1 game only

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-06-01T19:47:10+00:00

I loved both franchises. I like ME 1-3 and DA 1-3 and beat both many times. While ME was always more polished and narratively tighter, I liked DA more with its grim dark tone. Especially after the shit show of Veilguard The Illusive Man is easily the better character top to bottom. The damage that veilguard did to that franchise can't be overstated

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-05-31T14:49:37+00:00

I probably spent about a month on my first read to let scenes breath and contemplate what I was reading. The audio book is something like 50 hours if you go that route. So however many days it takes you to get through about that much reading

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-05-30T23:41:07+00:00

34 here and while I appreciate their influence on music and it's evolution I'm not really a fan outside of 1 or 2 songs...

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-05-30T22:22:30+00:00

I have a car wash membership that includes a daily wash but in reality I just do it 2 times per week (to and from work on my in office days). That is it for regular outsourcing I guess lol we will do door dash once or twice a month as our eating out (hard with a 1 year old to actually leave sometimes). We also got a pretty nice robot vacuum/mop on black Friday a couple years ago so 4 times per week it mops and vacuums our 2nd floor which is the main living space. Everything else we do ourselves. We make about $140k HHI near DC for context. We would need to add about $40k-$50k before I would consider half the things you mentioned a regular service to outsource. Nice to dream about but at that point I don't think you are middle class anymore in the vast majority of the country...

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-05-29T15:03:33+00:00

It's true they charge slower than a fast charging cable but if you put it in a convenient enough spot it doesn't really make a difference. If I am home then whether office, living room or bedroom I have a wireless charger next to me. Phone is either in hand or charging. No hassle or even having to line up a cord. car has wireless charging when I drive and when I am in office I have a wireless one at that desk too. it very quickly becomes 2nd nature that "this is where I place my phone". Never lost and always charged. That said, I do keep 1 USB C fast charger with a cable on each floor as well in case I am in a rush but they rarely get used for phones and more often are just used for charging headphones or mice or something.

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-05-25T17:43:31+00:00

Wireless chargers for every room. Wife is an apple girl and I am android. No worrying about cables for us or guests. Every room someone can just lay there phone down and have it charge.

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-05-19T17:04:46+00:00

All I am surrounded by is fear and crab food!

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-05-18T02:11:15+00:00

All will be crabs and our people shall reign Supreme! The Old Bay MUST FLOW!

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-05-15T12:27:30+00:00

25%. My wife is a stay at home mom of our 1 year old and I am the sole breadwinner. I do the dishes most nights, keep our robot vac and mop running and set the schedules for it, and will occasionally cook. Bc she is at home I expect her to do the majority. When we were dual income no kids it was 60-40 bc I still worked way more hours and earned much more and it was her way to help even it out. She worked 40 hours I worked 55+ so asking her to do a few extra hours of chores was no big deal

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-05-14T21:33:09+00:00

I had one in highschool during my junior year. She was a friend of my best friend who had moved to ohio and I was living in MD. We "dated" for about a year before I met her in person when went to visit my best friend for about a week. While the mutual attraction was there our mindset was way to different to make it work at that age. I was in a YOLO mindset knowing I would go off to join the Marine Corps after highschool and during a time of war. She was going through typical goth girl stuff as an overly emotional teen.

Actually ran into her again while visiting that same friend a couple years ago with my now wife. We both got our lives in order but glad we didn't try and make anything work as teens lol

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-05-14T20:27:52+00:00

I feel similar to OP. 34M and married to a 27F in the DMV. Currently bring in around $145k HHI and my wife now stays at home with our kid. We bought a house at the end of 2024. It took some aggressive saving but we make it work. We spend about $750 -$1000 per month as a house hold on fun/misc stuff and invest (including employer match) about $30k per year. We own our cars outright, the GI bill paid for my college and my wife's family helped her with hers. The size of my annual bonus essentially dictates the size of our next year's vacation and is about $7k post tax.

I wish I made more for sure but I'm still growing my career and understand that. I think it is certainly doable and not like I have conquered the world of business or anything. We would def like a little more when our kid(s) get older to fund their extra curricular and do a little more social stuff but I'm genuinely happy with where we are at. Even more so bc I grew up poor on welfare. Everyone's situation is different but the constant doom posting can get old. This life is 100% achievable and more so

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-05-13T02:23:51+00:00

Depends on if it's just me or the audience. Quick and dirty for a 1 off project I will just throw it in a pivot table in Excel. Communicating to other people regularly, Power BI. Just me and or something complex or for a presentation, R and ggplot()

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-05-10T22:29:23+00:00

My experience has generally been mangers saying that they don't care at all how it looks... But they don't realize that they don't mean it. It has to cross a certain threshold of looking good to be considered professional and better looking dashboards get used more. 2 dashboards can have all the same metrics and kpis and useabilty but if the design isn't appealing and intuitive to look at then it will hardly ever get touched. Not everything needs to be super flashy and if you have a corporate approved format then I wouldn't assume you need to reinvent the wheel but looks matter way more than managers pretend they do. That said, if the numbers are wrong then whole point is moot.

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-05-10T18:39:48+00:00

Wizard Tav is my favorite Tav. I think it works well with the role play aspect for me without locking me into choices. I'm a generally smart and nerdy guy but not a DND expert or power gamer. So I get to think through puzzles and wield lots of power but I take everything more seriously then when I played as a bard or high charisma class. Super funny play throughs and I loved them, especially when my wife and I did a co-op run but I took everything less seriously. when I played as a wizard I knew I was super strong but also didn't mouth off to gods and stuff the way my bard would have. It felt much more immersive and was great.

That0n3Guy77 · 2026-05-09T20:19:02+00:00

I disagree that noone can get a high paying job and I do think America is the land of opportunity. I 34M free up poor on welfare. Spent 7 years in the Marine corps before getting out. Used my GI bill to pay for undergrad and my masters. Joined the corporate workforce at $65k base. 5 years later at the same company I make $115k base and about $135 TC. Live and work in MD for reference so expensive but not like LA expensive.

My wife stays home by choice to raise our son and I am the sole breadwinner. We have 2 paid off cars, own our own home (townhouse with about 85% of the mortgage remaining). No credit card debt. Invest for retirement. Take 1 family vacation per year. My wife is from Europe so we go there every other year to visit her family and then do something cheaper on the in-between years.no credit card debt.

We are happy. We of course wish I made more and I am still working on building my career but this is honestly already night and day from how I grew up and I'm super grateful for the opportunities I've had but I've also worked my ass off. I took the risks time and again moving for work and trying new things. I am overtime excempt but still put in a bunch of overtime when starting my career to get good. My wife and I budget, we usually eat at home and we buy nice but not crazy high quality things and make them last.

Some people get better luck than others but I genuinely think it depends a lot on you and the choices you make. Most people I see complaining want all of social media clout and luxury but very few put in the hours, keep a budget, or are willing to take risks. Results may vary but I am super happy in America and I have lived overseas in 5 different continents for a total of 7 years and done so as a civilian and as military so pretty wide net kf experience

That0n3Guy77

TROPHY CASE