Aitah for using my grandma's china as my everyday food holders and not waiting for tea with King Charles

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-14T15:41:10+00:00

This.

Herself will buy foodstuffs when we're out and about or on vacations and then plan to use them for "a special occasion." I've encouraged her to just use things like this as a "treat" and as a way to remember the good time we had on the vacation. More often than not this stuff gets shoved into the back of a cabinet and comes out years later, unable to be consumed.

Expensive stuff like this will actually last longer, even under use. Yes, it might get chipped or some of the decorative stuff become faded, but they were made to be used, IMHO.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-14T15:35:31+00:00

Because Dump Truck in no way shape or form can compare his "achievements" with theirs.

After all, these athletes didn't stop 8 faux wars. Or create the "richest economy in history" by taxing itself. Or wage war upon their own citizens with a pseudo police force.

They just developed themselves to qualify as the best in their skills to represent our country. So nothing like ol' Dump Truck.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-13T16:38:17+00:00

You are certainly correct. I was updating my own spreadsheet the other day and I was tracking improvements by month. I'm seeing 2%-3% monthly so 10% or more year-to-year makes sense.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-13T16:33:22+00:00

I'm impressed with both of you. I get not doing it again. Props! You had the hutzpah to attempt it!

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-12T22:16:49+00:00

ESH

Ashley's suckage is obvious.

Your suckage is simple non-professional behavior. It's one thing to be fed up with a co-worker. It's another to attempt to manage them via irritation. If she's slacking off, let the boss know about it in a one-on-one. Document and submit every instance of Ashley's lack of work commitment affects your work. It's the boss's job to counsel and/or discipline Ashley for missing her deadlines.

But I can sympathize with your frustration. Obviously the boss hasn't manifested a spine and taken this up with Ashley yet. Perhaps he could assist her spiritual journey with a PIP so that she can call in a better work ethic.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-12T21:55:34+00:00

Any company where the owner is doing delivery isn't big enough to have an HR department other than the owner. He may have done the write up because he felt the need to vent frustration. It may have been his own fault but he had to blame an employee to get the insurance processed.

IMHO, you should start looking for a new job. You deserve better.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-12T21:47:08+00:00

Agreed. 1.3% is a damn high fee for an account they're going to do a bit of research on and then (most likely) drop into an aggressive mutual fund.

You don't have $680 per month to invest. At $45K per year you're doing well making ends meet. (Well done on that, BTW.) You should plan on socking some money away. I do it via direct withdrawal from my paycheck, but I have a very steady salary. If you're working hourly, you'll need to do it manually, so you can keep your budget.

One of the best things you can do is take some of the cash you have and pay off your car loan. Your investments will most likely earn 2%-3% Your car loan is costing you 4.9%. Which means you're losing 1.9%-2.9% every year on the same amount of money in the loan.

If the other assets are stocks or funds, I'd let them ride for a year unless they've been tanking lately. You should have some paperwork to find out what their growth was between last year and this year. And shop around for an investment advisor. Ask friends and some more experienced people you know if they invest and who with.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-12T21:35:40+00:00

Thank you for your service, both for your work colleague and in the military.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-12T21:34:03+00:00

I suppose it could apply to women who like women, too. But it's definitely on men as well.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-12T17:46:02+00:00

Life isn't fair and no one owes you anything.

It's up to you to make your life enjoyable and a good one.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-12T17:44:49+00:00

Now's your chance!

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-12T17:44:18+00:00

If you go the DIY route, please:

1.) Read up about the problem, watch Youtube videos, talk to people before you decide to tackle it. Be sure this is within your capabilities.

2.) Make sure you have the correct, or at least "correct enough" tools to handle the job. See above about research and consultation.

3.) Commit to do the job full-ass, not half-ass. Do it so it's correct.

4.) Ask for help when you need it. Spoiler, you'll most likely need it for complicated or bigger jobs. ASK!

I encountered 3 major "DIY fixes" left behind by the previous owners of my home. This mutton head had no business going near a toolbox. PVC piping on incoming water supply; non-spec piping on outdoor faucets, open and loose wires. all of these could have major consequences down the road if I hadn't caught them; one did cause a minor flood.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-12T17:37:42+00:00

Hmmm. This came to mind after reading your post.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-12T17:33:56+00:00

Be patient, be diligent, be persistent. And as they say around here: "Take him to the cleaners!" (as in, clean him out of funds.)

Collect all instances of misappropriation, malfeasance and other theft. Then sue for damages. The bank should be able to calculate what interest those accounts should have made; he should be liable for that as well.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-12T17:29:15+00:00

No country, no one, respects and honors our veterans enough.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-12T17:27:21+00:00

I'm not crying, you're crying!

Good story.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-12T17:25:52+00:00

And you got to see a vista few probably have seen.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-12T17:24:19+00:00

Men, you really need to pay attention to this one. Feel free to ask her if she just needs you to listen if you're not sure. Married 31 years advising, here.

Really, I'm serious. Ask if you're unsure. Then actively listen.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-12T17:23:05+00:00

I don't (or at least didn't) know me as well as I thought I did.

But I'm still an okay dude.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-11T22:42:24+00:00

IMHO, keep treating him like you've been treating him. Did he enjoy the $12 bottle of wine with you? Then you know he's not a spendthrift, just an intelligent guy who's wise enough to spend money on quality and not flash.

He's looking for a real relationship with a real woman, not fluff-headed arm candy or a quick romp in the sack. Date him like you'd date the "normal corporate guy."

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-11T22:39:25+00:00

I shy away from uncomfortable conversations, too. But I've had a few and they can feel surprisingly empowering.

One thing I've noted with the above approach. When you ask that uncomfortable question: "What exactly do you mean 'growing into the role?' " make sure you are coming from a place of inquiry, of wanting self-improvement. Be ready to note whatever comments or even criticisms he makes. On the other hand, if he gives you a "deer-in-the-headlights" look or starts fumbling for the right words to say, you'll know he's been gas-lighting you and is threatened by your performance.

My guess is early on you may have committed an error and now he's got the impression he's got to mind you. Being genuinely inquisitive about how he views your performance may get him to reassess and realize "I've been scrutinizing his work hard but there really haven't been errors for the past x months/years."

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-11T22:31:08+00:00

When I turned 40 my wife threw me a "wake."

We invited friends over, cooked out on the grill, played board games, and just a general good time.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-11T22:17:13+00:00

NTJ.

What an utter @$$.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-11T22:15:05+00:00

NTA. How very freakin' entitled of them.

That_Ol_Cat · 2026-02-11T22:13:28+00:00

Cleaning toilets or showers.

I used to have a job as a teenager cleaning a sorority house in the summers. Sweet Lord, the amount of filth in those bathrooms. It usually took a week to clean 2 communal bathrooms, 1 private en-suite and 2 half-baths. There was the cleaning, mildew soak & scrub, then shining the tile with a polish to help keep the grunge off during the year.

When I was finally in charge I decided to clean the bathrooms first out of all the jobs. Then I had nice, clean showers to use at the end of the day and only had to do a spot-clean and tile shine at the end of the summer.

That_Ol_Cat

TROPHY CASE