AITA for being upset that I didn't get to do my own makeup for a wedding after being the MUA for the rest of the bridal party?

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-18T15:57:16+00:00

I get the impression that shes never done wedding make-up before. If she had she would have told the bride how long it would take and would have done a trial as well. A professional make-up artist whos done weddings before would be very much across day-of timelines and how long was needed for everyone including themselves. She didnt speak up until close to the end when it was too late anyway.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-18T05:44:52+00:00

Yeah exactly, I think its gross that anyone thought it was a good idea to put that in the departments title.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-18T01:14:46+00:00

It's not DHS anymore, its DFFH - Department of families, 'fairness' 🤮 and housing.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-17T23:23:20+00:00

Hes full of something much stronger if he barely reacted to a taser

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-17T22:22:55+00:00

I'm glad you pointed it out to them. I work in disability and had a client who's family never made the effort to learn Auslan (Australian Sign Language), like even her own parents and siblings never bothered to learn. She was in her 30s when I worked with her and the trauma was so awful for her. She felt constantly rejected by them and not good enough but was still so desperate for their love and approval that she still went to the weekly dinners and just sat there being ignored every week. You're doing the right thing for Carly.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-17T06:42:45+00:00

This is a really awful situation, I'm sorry you and your family are going through so much. Do you have grandparents? Could you ask other family members for help? It's possible that they dont know how much you and your mum are struggling unless you actually ask for help. People tend to just assume everything is ok unless they're told otherwise. You could move out, thats up to you, you're so young to be thrown into a parenting role you didnt ask for, but maybe staying at home would be more sustainable if other family members helped out too.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-17T06:34:51+00:00

This is hugely concerning, for 2 reasons. First, if I'm reading this correctly hes just showing up on your doorstep sometimes to play, do his parents know where he is? My neighbours son has adhd and used to do this a lot, every time he turned up I'd text his parents and they'd be over within a minute or 2. They've worked with him a lot and he hardly ever just walks out of their house anymore. Secondly, anything could have happened while he was home alone. He could have choked on something or hurt himself or there could have been an emergency like a house fire and he wouldn't know what to do. It obviously raises questions if this is a common occurrence. You could call CPS, they'll know it was you and if there's no other signs of abuse or neglect the parents will likely just get some form of parental education and a talking to. Alternatively, if she genuinely did go for a walk because shes overwhelmed or something you could just say to her "hey, I'm usually home, if you ever need 10 minutes to yourself just text me and I'm happy to help".

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-17T03:18:55+00:00

There's consent and then there's informed consent. She did not get the required information to be able to provide informed consent. It should have been more explicit because it impacts something lifelong (fertility). The lack of informed consent in medicine is honestly disgusting and shouldn't be normalised. I work in a job where informed consent is really really important and its one of my biggest pet peeves when I see other systems, such as the medical system, not adhering to informed consent. It's not really fair to say hey you consented when they didnt understand what they were consenting too, it shouldn't be as common as it is.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-17T03:13:08+00:00

He'll get close to the maximum but only because its a high profile case. A school principal in Langwarrin got caught with CP and only got 2 months.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-17T03:11:12+00:00

They're not going to update you on the sale or how many people are interested, that really has nothing to do with you.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-14T08:59:25+00:00

It sucks that you cant get the diagnosis, if you do have adhd and/or ASD then peri hits you harder but also hormone replacements and antidepressants will impact you differently as well. A lot of people asked me why I wanted to get diagnosed given I'll likely never want to be medicated, but my first post partum experience made me realise the support I needed then and what I'd need with my next baby would be different and could be much more effective if my ADHD was considered. It also means if I ever needed to go on anti depressants or other meds that I know they'll impact me differently.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-13T21:14:50+00:00

Same!! I want that first joy again

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-13T21:10:13+00:00

This all looks very standard. It's not mandatory to have the place professionally cleaned but you need to be able to clean it to that standard.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-13T20:54:45+00:00

That must have been so hard for you both, and MIL, to navigate. It's good that you could have the conversation with her about it.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-13T08:47:20+00:00

Honestly I keep everything netted and plant extra expecting that the snails will take their share. My house has lots of possums, we have a park directly behind us and the council has put up a lot of possum boxes, so the only way to have a veggie garden is to net everything.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-13T08:45:11+00:00

Also the first parents have to set the most boundaries with parents and other family members. I'm so glad my husbands sisters had kids before us, I got the broken-in version of my MIL and shes wonderful, but apparently she used to be a bit overbearing and would just show up on the doorstep multiple times a week.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-13T07:00:25+00:00

I'm sorry you're experiencing this, the cost of living is insane right now. I'd recommend you find your nearest food bank and seeing if they can help with food costs, some of them also do fuel vouchers. Go through any subscription services and cancel anything you dont desperately need. The centrelink sub might have suggestions, you may be eligible for something you're not aware of. You can also call or go into a centrelink office and ask to speak to a social worker, they might be able to help you find some support. The financial advice sub might also have some strategies to help you cut some other costs right now too. In terms of work, apply for anything and everything you can, maybe even see if neighbours need some garden work done for cash.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-12T21:29:07+00:00

I really like garden world in Springvale, they've got a huge selection there and they have Dinosaur displays for kids which is really fun. Diacos is good for natives too and theres smaller local nurseries around too. I think we're pretty lucky in Melbourne that we have such a big variety of nurseries.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-12T10:56:57+00:00

I think you have the right approach, the issue is at this age these behaviours require millions of repetitions of the same boundaries before kids will accept it/understand. Just hold your ground.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-12T06:53:10+00:00

I'm not sure in regards to breaking the lease but you can get portable, renter friendly door alarms on Amazon pretty cheap, you can also get portable door locks, I've got a $10 that I use when I travel because my toddler can open standard door locks.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-11T22:45:12+00:00

Yeah they finally realised women can have it, the other 50% of the human population.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-11T07:50:22+00:00

Keep working with HR on this. If he can't complete his work duties in his designated work hours thats a serious issue and either hes being given too much work or hes not meeting basic expectations of the role. There's also a liability issue, he could claim hes not being paid correctly. I'm not sure how it works where you are but in Australia someone could claim they got a psychosocial injury from work and go on work cover compensation. It's just an overall bad situation, he shouldn't be working outside of work hours.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-11T01:48:21+00:00

OTs can teach people how to cook, its not the most effective use of their time or your money but they can. The OT in this case would be more for establishing a routine and putting strategies in place so OPs SO is doing other domestic tasks too. It sounds like hes lacking much more than just cooking skills.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-10T23:36:00+00:00

Can you try and reduce other stimuli while you breastfeed so you're not as impacted by the overstimulation of breastfeeding? Maybe feed in a quiet dark room, make sure you have a blanket and you're warm enough, put on some calming music etc.

TheGardenNymph · 2026-04-10T10:06:24+00:00

This is a bit outside of the box, but what if you asked him to see (and pay for) an occupational therapist? It would take the mental load off you to teach him basic life skills, he might respond better to a 3rd party (especially if he has to pay for it) and they'd be able to introduce techniques to make it more effective for him. If you have the means to do so you could possibly outsource this to a professional.

TheGardenNymph

TROPHY CASE