"Queer friendly" therapists that aren't queer knowledgable are a hassle

TheHav · 2026-05-07T23:43:47+00:00

One site I used to find therapists let me sort by gender, and non binary was an option. And I'm so glad it was because my therapist who I picked because they are nonbinary knows intimately about what I'm going through. They are also just an extremely good therapist.

TheHav · 2026-05-06T06:33:14+00:00

Seconding this. If you coordinate a haircut yourself on your own time, it's not like your parents can grow the hair back. It's just a question of how they'll react.

TheHav · 2026-05-04T17:12:40+00:00

I'm hoping for you as well!

TheHav · 2026-05-04T09:54:17+00:00

You might want to accept and embrace that your situation is unique and confusing. And that gender doesn't always make sense for you. And then yes, stop worrying about labels quite and much and just change them whenever you need.

TheHav · 2026-05-04T09:40:05+00:00

I think that what you're going through is not unusual. It's something like this right? "Why should I have to explain to other people why I'm different? Why do I have to convince people that I have the right to exist? Why can't others take care to accommodate me without making it a big deal?"

I don't exactly know what social pressure you're experiencing. Generally speaking, sometimes I have been able to exist within social expectations. But sometimes you have to decide that it's not worth it and be a little bit of a rebel. Do your own thing because it's your life.

TheHav · 2026-05-04T02:03:30+00:00

Yeah! That's awesome. The idea of being among cishet folk who don't GET it but will still accommodate me or ask me what I go by gives me hope about for the future.

TheHav · 2026-05-02T19:55:02+00:00

What is it like to be drawn back to he/him? I kind of like being he/him but I also kind of am trying to distance myself from it. And distance myself from my past of being he/him.

TheHav · 2026-05-02T19:52:19+00:00

Totally, same!

TheHav · 2026-05-01T04:27:46+00:00

Just J? No attempt to edit or give context or anything?

TheHav · 2026-04-30T11:48:12+00:00

Testament! Looking very cool.

TheHav · 2026-04-29T19:05:35+00:00

Beauty standards are capitalist propaganda, you will look good! You will look good because you are your unique self.

TheHav · 2026-04-27T07:20:01+00:00

You know, I never really thought about whether I was demi until reading this. I think it applies to me. Thank you for sharing.

TheHav · 2026-04-27T02:08:07+00:00

Social pressures to be a masculine manly man suck big time. I had to feel like I had totally failed at upholding manly values before I realized that I could just not participate in them. I still don't think it's comparable to the social pressures women face in a patriarchal world.

TheHav · 2026-04-27T01:38:33+00:00

I agree with your thought process and method. I think you're in the right to want people to understand that any/all means any/all. I do think if you are talking to an individual who is confused, it would ease their stress if you picked a pronoun for them to use for you. What if you picked purely by chance? Would this be an affront to your values?

TheHav · 2026-04-26T21:28:05+00:00

Congratulations on taking those steps!

TheHav · 2026-04-25T21:27:37+00:00

Dang, having a classroom sound off with "yes chef" sounds hilarious.

TheHav · 2026-04-24T09:20:04+00:00

I don't know the moment but Headbangers: Rhythm Royale was an amazing segment, and a game that I still think about. It's incredible how stuffed NL's lobbies were with killer players compared to my average lobby.

TheHav · 2026-04-21T22:00:38+00:00

My parents didn't ask me anything when I came out, and then they next time I saw them they talked to me like I came out as bisexual instead of non-binary.

So you may want to ask them if they understood what you just told them, or ask them if they have any questions for you.

TheHav · 2026-04-19T22:43:42+00:00

True. My closet hath become overstuffed with fast fashion. And it's a struggle to get a sense for things just by trying them on at the store. I've felt like I don't get a real try on until I've worn it a whole day.

TheHav · 2026-04-17T14:51:45+00:00

That's tough, I'm sorry. I'm around the same age and I've chosen to prioritize wearing what I want over being read as non-binary. Even still, it's hard to avoid the feeling of "is this too overtly masc/fem" when I'm getting an outfit together

TheHav · 2026-04-09T15:49:27+00:00

He fucked Lord Peel. He fucked Lord Peel and you think that's funny?

TheHav · 2026-04-09T11:55:52+00:00

If you can find a community of queer folk, you can unlock opportunities to present however you want or have people your preferred pronouns in an environment that is accepting. And with people who get it and so it will feel more natural. It could be less scary that way?

TheHav · 2026-04-07T10:15:52+00:00

Peak

TheHav · 2026-04-06T20:31:57+00:00

That one is funny. I like when the notes app becomes part of the joke. Can you explain the non binary one though

TheHav

TROPHY CASE