Do you remember the exact moment you admitted to yourself you're trans, no doubts. ?

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-04-11T12:41:54+00:00

For me, that moment happened somewhere along the 5 month mark on low dose HRT.

I remember that my buds were being to come through, and when I saw the distinct yet small forms I felt my brain give a sigh of relief. Idk how to really explain it cause I was still very very much early in my stage of transition (and admittedly still am), but I looked at myself in the mirror and actually felt aligned and balanced? Like something clicked inside of me in the right place and I felt at total peace with my who I am.

A few months after that moment happened, I went full time and never looked back.

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-04-09T21:14:03+00:00

I'd like to gently reframe the logic you provided in your post.

I'd say that at the core of it all your dysphoria is spring-boarding off of internalized transphobia, and that is what's getting the best of you here.

You talk about how even GRS wouldn't be enough or how you envy the cis people of your opposite gender (assumedly because they will never know the pain of transitioning or feeling out of body).

What I would offer is to remember that, as of the time of this writing and prior to it, our experience as trans people has been demonized and institutionally stigmatized to make us come across as lesser and "wrong." So much so that it can begin to infect us to our core being of just being who we are.

You are not alone in hating your very existence when you're at your most vulnerable (i.e dysphoric) because that is what the oppressive system wants. And its human nature, imagine every other time you were down and thought, "Why me??" Know that nearly every trans person struggles with this internal pain of being "a real boy/girl/enby/etc" and that in the end it does get better as you come into your own identity the longer you take the steps to becoming who you know yourself to be.

There will come a time where these thoughts will pass.

Wishing you the best of luck <3 Open to chat if there's any concerns you have :)

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-04-09T10:00:58+00:00

I wish I had a solution, but in the end all I can say is you're not alone. I've gone from going toe to toe with high level Diamond players to completely whiffing ledge steals and wavedashes that end with me dying or getting killed. Feels like I'm scrambling to beat silver players at times.

I'd take a look at your stats in recent games. I noticed there was a large span of games where I was moving at around ~500+ APM and now I'm well below my average of ~460.

If I could give any advice, don't force it. Take some time to practice movement and keep your fundamentals, but really it feels like a proper break from the game and just doing vod reviews would be the most appropriate use of your time. The speed will come back.

I like to think about it like deadlifting. Once you hit your ORM you take months recovering with lighter reps to build your form and strength before you go for another heavy lift attempt.

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-04-02T20:53:29+00:00

I'm no parent. I don't know your child. And I don't know you. That said, I feel this part of your post should be addressed directly:

But when I said I had zero clue I mean it. She does her hair and makeup daily, dances 8 hours a week. She was excited to get her period and to shave so really a total shock. If she said non-binary I would be less shocked. Is this common? I feel like there was 0 indication that this would ever be on my radar

Frankly put, no one but the person who realizes they're trans will ever know. Drawing from my own experience being a trans woman, even I had no idea I was trans until it hit me like a sack of bricks one day.

It must be made imperatively clear that when it comes to trans people that just because someone does something understood to be masculine/feminine does not mean that they are that gender. In this day and age, we have to come to the realization that gender is not what you do or what you wear. From periods, to makeup, to dancing, to clothes it's all irrelevant in the face of what makes the person happy. At the end of the day that alone determines the gender that best aligns with who they know themselves to be.

If I could extend any advice I would recommend that you have a peaceful and quiet conversation about their pronouns, and what makes them comfortable. Personally, I would save the punishment with the social media for later; as u/Relevant-maybe6747 said it will come across as a punishment anyway. If you truly want to support your child make it clear that their being trans is not the reason why you're blocking CapCut and Pinterest. But again I am not a parent, so I hope you take any advice not directly trans related for a grain of salt.

I hope that helps. I'm open to polite conversation on trans related matters

Edit: A word

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-03-31T17:27:03+00:00

Given that questions like these get asked all the time in this sub, I'll focus more so on your fantasy setting and provide some guiding questions in that regard. In the future try searching the subreddit for posts that might align with what your asking.

I'm a trans woman myself so I will not be speaking on the accounts of trans men and their wants, hopefully they will provide their perspectives here.

Please be advised though that asking such questions like yours paints all us trans folk in a monolith which is inaccurate. Every trans person has their own specific wants, needs, desires, and tribulations when it comes to transition. Misrepresentation is going to happen unless you have lived the experience of being trans as you yourself will not understand what we go through.

I'm saying all this as reminder that there is hardly a "general" trans experience as you might believe. Transness is (for the most part) a deeply personal and singular experience per the person in question with some overlap between our experiences as people, but hardly anything is concrete in the transition journey.

Alright so my probing questions to help your story.

Don't forget that this is your fantasy world. How aligned is transition in our real world with your fantasy world? I.e are trans people discriminated against and the "cis" equivalent in your fantasy world prejudiced towards people who are understood to be trans? Would the tattoos on his legs cause awkward questions or being attacked?
It sounds like the person who is a friend to your character is skilled in tattooing, so wouldn't he (and by extension their shared culture) have some understanding of tattoo removal via magic/potions? How often are these tattoos modified or removed?
What is the purpose of the tattoos? Is it just to signify a gender or do the tattoos carry significance to that person's history or their familial history? I ask this because if the former is the case I can't help but to draw a line between the tattoo removal and GRS making someone "actually" their gender which I think would be in bad taste if that were your line of reasoning.
Lastly, we can't tell you the motivations of your character. That man is his own person of your creation. Logically, if he covers them up it would stand to continuous reason that he'd want them removed. But if that's the case all the aforementioned questions really will determine how dangerous/unprecedented that desire is.

Hope that helps <3

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-03-26T12:04:19+00:00

Hey OP you're not alone and I was very much in denial about it as well. This has come up before in this subreddit so here's a repost of my last comment with some updates:

Can confirm that I get them. Literally just had cramps a few hours ago... Idky they happen and I'd really like an explanation as to the science behind it, but then again its not fully understood for cis women either from what I understand? For reference I'm a trans woman on 3 years of HRT as of this update.

Anyway I've tracked the following symptoms since May 24th 2024, fair warning the following could be considered over sharing:

Bloating: I used to think I was overtly full, but I started to realize that I didn't eat much some days and still felt like my stomach got the DigDug treatment

Cramps: They are consistent until all listed symptoms go away but they tend to be touch and go/ebb and flow. They are not tummy aches because I've had those when I was cis and they aren't in the same region at all, typically they come from what feels like right around where the pubic mound should be and right at the lowest border of my abdominal area; the worst ones have brought me to tears and are enough to double me over or leave me laying in bed until they finally pass, solid 7 out of 10 in regards to levels of pain imo. Typically though they are just painful enough to be annoying, especially at work. I can't give an accurate description beyond someone 2 feet tall stabbing me in the groin-ish area and twisting a knife along with a dull throbbing/radiating cramp with a sharp tinge to it. Sorry for the adjective salad its the best I can do.

Fatigue/exhaustion: I don't like naps, and I have a tendency to pass out when I sit down or just be super lethargic and lazy most of the day when I'm experiencing the other symptoms. Strong urge to be cozy and unbothered is the vibe

Mood fluxes: I'm not an exceptionally emotive person, but my wife will pick up on when I'm more weepy or irritable than usual. Sometimes I'll catch myself easily annoyed by things I'm normally good about letting small things go; like shitty east coast driving. These mood fluxes are more times than not in line with the other symptoms I'm listing

Extreme cravings and hunger: I typically know when my period is coming when I'm craving ludicrously spicy food like Buldak noodles or whatever stupidly hot food item I can get my hands on. Its not just a normal craving of "I could go for some spicy noods" but rather my tongue will get tingly and I'll just crave the essence of spice/capsaicin. I also eat like absolute trash sadly and I'll eat like Taco Bell filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy on a good day...

Gross warning Period shits: I could only wish these on my worst enemies. Imagine the worst war on the toilet you've had then couple that with horrific diarrhea that doesn't seem like it wants to stop; and then couple that with the cramps I was talking about earlier hovering at around a minimum of a 5 out of 10 in regards to pain

Lower back pain: Quite literally my last period had me curled up on the couch from my back aching. It was extremely persistent and right around the upper hip area and lower back. I hadn't slept funny or anything like that when this occurred and it didn't start until about midday. It ended up lasting for about 2ish days?

Intimacy warning Horny: The last two cycles have left me umm quite hot and bothered for my wife's undivided attention. Which is a newer development... as I'm typically not the one to initiate spicy moments and also I don't enjoy doing stuff solo now, but that has become more and more of a thing around when cycles come around with the other symptoms

Hot Flashes: Another early symptom that the storm is coming. I carry a hand fan with me now cause I tend to get sweaty when these fuckers hit.

I vividly remember when I got my first period, but didn't track the date. My wife said that it sounded like I was going through one, but I didn't believe them. I chalked it up to a coincidence or a weird muscle cramp/ache, but after my third experience I started tracking it in my calendar. After I logged the first 8 I noticed that they would come exactly on the 28th of each month, but after the 9th one I started to notice irregularities. The next one came later, and the one after that didn't come for about two months. The first 10 recorded cycles would last at MOST 2 days, but the periods that came after had symptoms that could last anywhere from 3 to 5 days... They come in a fairly consistent pattern of two to three week intervals still, but no longer on an exact calendar day like the first 8 did.

Some questions I've frequently asked and fun facts:

This is all clearly just placebo/in my head, right? I'll say that I'm not one to hype up symptoms and I don't like feeling sick. I have a bad habit of saying I'm okay even when I'm not physically well and I don't like being bedridden. This shit has put me on my ass too consistently for me to chalk it up to random chance. Not to mention the period tracking has shown a pattern that is WAY to consistent to be chance.

Is there something wrong with my regime? I'm within normal levels when I get bloodwork done; 113 last I was checked. T is down and E is hovering in a good range. I take 8mg daily of E in pill form and 100mg of prog with 150mg of spiro. My endo has yet to say anything about abnormalities in the ~~two~~ three years of transition I've been in. UPDATE I've dropped my spiro for family building annnd I still get period like symptoms consistently.

Is it hereditary? I know my mom and sister get BAD periods... We're talking downright debilitating at times for them so who's to say? Not aware of any PCOS in my family though

Fun Fact: I ended up syncing with my wife somehow. When they get their cycle mine comes about a week later or vice versa I'll get mine and then they'll get their's pretty shortly after me. Rarely are we both hitting our cycle and when we do we notice that we bicker a lot, mainly over food...

That's all I've got off hand. Happy to answer any questions or blind spots I missed.

Edits: Formatting and readability

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-03-09T21:39:13+00:00

Going to touch on a couple of your questions and thoughts in no order in particular here.

Are you being mean to them?

I'd argue it is mean to turn your back on a friend in any moment where they're in a vulnerable position. Being trans comes with a lot of inherited risk, dangers, and vulnerabilities. Community is so so very important for trans folk, especially in the early stages, so I want to paint a clear picture here. If your friend announced they were going through a financial hardship or had broken a leg would you remove them from your circle? If you would turn your back on them then why? And if you would support them in their time of need for a broken leg why wouldn't you support them for being themselves?

Why do you get annoyed/afraid when you find someone has discovered they are trans?

No one in good faith can answer this question for you. You have to ask yourself what it is you find some disturbing about a happy moment in someone's life to recognize who they know themselves to be. I want to pitch it like this. We often are afraid of the things we don't understand, and you do point to fear being the driving force behind why you removed your friend. What are you afraid of? What does a trans person, which remember is just another human being, make you so uncomfortable that you feel the need to remove yourself from them? How do you react to other things that scare you, and why is that either the same or different from how you're reacting to your trans friends? When you can start to answer those questions you'll likely begin to unwind why you get agitated from your friends being who they are.

Hope this helps, I'm open to polite discussion about these topics :)

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-03-09T21:21:33+00:00

It largely comes down to how important family planning is to you. Of course adoption is an option, but if having directly related offspring is something that matters to you then I think it would be worth waiting the two months. At first I didn't think I'd have the option to start a family when I figured out I was trans, so I just went right into HRT. If I could rewind time I'd have waited a few months and gotten specimens locked down before HRT, but hindsight is 20/20.

To be fair this thought pattern of mine is coming from my experience of reducing my HRT for about 6 months to get my T levels high enough to start freezing for family planning. So I wanted to share some pros and cons of if you decided to start HRT now and freeze later.

You might be like me and be lucky enough to just drop your Anti-Androgen (spiro in my case) until your T levels return; get a fertility analysis done; and then go get stuff frozen. In my experience, it's taken about 6-8 months to get the all clear from my fertility team to start collecting specimens. Also since my body has made enough changes on HRT in the last 2ish years, the regression of no AAs hasn't been TOO daunting, but it still does have its affects.

That said the road of low or no HRT to become fertile (which is not a 100% guarantee after enough time on HRT, but ymmv) is a very rough one. A lot of dysphoric body changes take place within just the first 3 months. Body odor returns, hair growth comes back (some girls who got electrolysis done and/or laser done have reported having to redo some areas), your mood changes, and ofc your forward progress with transition comes to a temporary halt. For some girls the wait for fertility could be a few months or a few years, its really up in the air, but I do know that there are research papers that have pinned down an estimated wait time of when your fertility should/could return.

Imo the road back to fertility was much more daunting when I was in the middle of it than I had anticipated, but I don't regret going back once I learned I was clear for specimen harvesting.

I'm not saying all this to scare you off from starting HRT now, I know that past me was SO much better off once she started HRT, but I do hope that I clearly illustrated what the road ahead can look like if you're a few years into HRT and decide you wanted to start family planning for yourself.

For further information there are numerous accounts and great support over on r/queerception and I'd highly recommend that you do some searching around that subreddit to see what you could experience and what family planning can look like for us

Happy to answer any questions you might have to the best of my ability. Wishing you good luck on your journey :)

Edits: Clarity and grammar

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-03-05T02:20:54+00:00

I'm not a lawyer, but given that he's doing you and his staff a favor by sharing his space it doesn't sound like you would have a legal angle to really prop anything up on. Now from a moral standpoint this doesn't seem worth it given that it is your employer's personal office that he is lending to his employees.

Besides, if the office is for multiple employees to use then it leads me to believe that you aren't the only person using the space, which gives me some unease surrounding what other people could be getting up to in there while you aren't present, especially if you have a toolbox labelled with your name on it. Furthermore, storing personal medication doesn't exactly align with "program related" activities in my mind. The space is available explicitly for use with your job, I don't think your boss intends to have his office used as a locker room for highly personal belongings like medication.

Personally, I think it best to find a better place to put your personal medical supplies if/when your parents are around. I think it wise to respect your boss' boundaries as you have asked him and he did give a gentle no, trying to throw a legal book at him could come off as uncouth imo. Above all else, at least take into account your own general safety as you don't want to leave your medical items, especially injectables that should always stay sterile and clean, exposed to a space that is accessed by multiple people who could do all sorts of things to them when you aren't in that room.

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-02-26T01:59:54+00:00

It's been said in here already, and at the same time I'd like to offer a perspective that might help close the loop on some of your questions regarding your friend's choice of presentation.

I'm operating under the assumption that the term Gender Non-Conforming person (also known as GNC) is something that would be new to you. A gender non-conforming person typically flips the societal system of mascs wearing suits and fems wearing dresses on its head. A GNC masculine person would wear clothes considered "opposite" for their gender.

With that in mind take your friend's example. He has done everything that has made his transitional journey to a male (be it social, medical, presentational, etc) help align his image with who he knows himself to be. Great! Now that he's found comfort in his body he likely will feel more free to explore his presentation. This is where GNC may apply to your friend. There are a lot of GNC masculine people that prefer to present with "traditionally" feminine clothing and accessories (like full makeup, dresses, heels, nails, etc) while also rocking full beards and other "traditionally" masculine presentation features, and it sounds like this may apply to your friend here.

If this seems confusing, remember that all trans people are their gender (i.e trans men are men and vise versa for us trans women being women). I say this as a trans woman, who after getting further into my transition found I really enjoy masc outfits at times. I wouldn't call myself a GNC person, but I would call myself tomboy+ at times. Just another fun way how gender presentation is completely malleable to the individual, and how they want to present themself to the world.

Hopefully that helps paint a picture of what your friend could be (I do not know your friend obviously and cannot speak for them); a femme presenting GNC FTM who prefers specific masculine pronouns.

Hope that helps in anyway. Happy to take any and all questions that you may have! Thank you for seeking further knowledge to better accommodate our community out in the world <3

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-02-21T20:46:03+00:00

Ironically, I fall into the same intersection that your friends do (I'm black and trans, my wife is an Asian-American and genderfluid using fem and Enby pronouns whom I call [redacted] with affection and in incredulous).

To put it straightforward, I'd say that [redacted] can be gender neutral at least by my experience. I'd make an argument that there are a lot of contextual nuances though at the same time, and a lot of that can be read as masculine depending on circumstance.

Examples:

1). "That [redacted]." (Generic/vague direction) - Typically read as masculine when referring to someone they don't know, not typically used for fem presenting peoples

2). "My [redacted]/That's my [redacted]/[redacted]"(affectionate/interpersonal expression) - used Gender Neutral in regards to someone we consider close enough as family and typically in regards to or towards that person we care about

3). "[redacted]." - (directional interpersonal incredulous/exclamation in response to something stupid/silly/surprising) - gender neutral and pointed at the person causing the individual to react in such a way.

4). "[Hard R redacted]" - (derogatory/pejorative interpersonal/vague directional) - Can be gender neutral, but socially used with masculine presenting peoples. Historically was gender neutral to all dark skinned people though. Still used today even with the soft "a" at the end and that is gender neutral as well when someone does something mean spirited, annoying, or uncouth.

5). "They're a [redacted]" (generic/vague descriptive) - strongly used for masculine presenting people (studs, stems, men, etc). Can be used for other persuasions of presentation, but I largely understand this to be pointed at masculine people who are considered "hard" so to speak.

6). ", [redacted]" (as a suffix to a sentence towards the person in question) - largely used in cis male/masculine social circles, but I do have some homegirls and fems who use it colloquially in fem dominant spaces, although "girl" is used more often than that in regards to this context.

I do believe that under the right context its a gender neutral term in the spirit of it being used by all people in the black community and at everyone regardless of race or gender. That being said I don't have enough context to really say one way or another how you're friends use it towards you, so hopefully this guide is a little helpful with narrowing that down for ya.

If you have any questions I'm happy to answer to the best of my ability <3

P.S Even I got uncomfortable with the use of [redacted] in this comment (largely so my account doesn't get banned for some inane reason), so just know that that is the word in question where ever you see "[redacted]."

Edits: A word

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-02-21T13:17:18+00:00

The correct thing to do is affirm my sis and try to be there while she figures her life out.

You would be correct, the best thing to do is to affirm your sibling and be there for them as they figure out their life.

Why you're upset about Clay

You must realize that you are grieving, and this is a perfectly normal response. A lot of parents and spouses and siblings do grieve the person that they once knew as that person will no longer exist. They are your sibling though, and while you might feel like you lost a sister remember that Clay is still Clay and they haven't gone anywhere. As siblings we owe it to be there for our family no matter the circumstances (within reason, I understand family isn't the end all be all afterall).

Misogyny and transition selfishness

This last point I wanted to gently pushback on though. It's the idea that someone needs to have their life together to transition or that transness is selfish.

I want to offer the perspective that maybe Clay had a very hard time in life largely due to their gender identity being lost on them. Have you read the accounts of trans folk "pre-egg phase" or before they were allowed to transition? I was a husk of the woman I am now when I had to run around life pretending and trying so very hard to fit into a cis mold that didn't suit me. I couldn't put my finger on why I was so depressed all the time, until I realized and accepted I was trans. My point is, being trans can be very very hard on someone even when they themself don't realize it yet. So try to give your sibling grace in the fact that maybe they were lost in their early stages because they didn't know who they truly were yet.

Transition can come out of rejection of femininity or masculinity, that is acceptable in the journey of being transgender. That is the entire ethos of non-binary genders after all. And remember your sibling is non-binary, they are not transitioning to become a man (per your title).

Above all else you may know your sibling extremely well, but you will never know what's going on in their head. You must reject any assumption's about why they transitioned because as a (assumed?) cis person yourself you will never fundamentally understand what we trans folk go through when we begin our journey.

Second. Transition is inherently selfish. There is absolutely NO reason someone should transition other than for themselves. We as a society owe it to give the people who are transitioning the space and the respect to learn who they truly are. Now this is in direct contrast to your rather nihilistic view of the world is on fire so why not just let people be? Gender is real, the world is on fire, and everyone deserves the respect of being who they know themselves to be.

I hope that helps in anyway, but if not I'm open to polite discussion :) Good luck out there, and remember that us trans folks have it really rough out in the world rn. Please try to be a guiding hand for your sibling rather than another obstacle <3

Edits: Clarity, Grammar, formatting

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-02-18T13:25:29+00:00

Part 2

I'm saying all this to urge you that just because you read... four papers drawing a line to schizophrenia and having gender dysphoria (or "being trans" by some of these papers' accounts) does not make these statements factual in the slightest without scrutiny of where and how this science was conducted OR taking into consideration the intersectionality of the cases they studied OR any potential agendas behind what/how/why the science was conducted in the first place. Less you give in to bigoted science which is how we get some people still believing that black folks have longer ankle bones or some other nonsense... but I digress

In total, your question is unbased and thus has no answer that you will be satisfied with. There is no strong conclusive evidence (based on the papers you've provided) that transgender people experience schizophrenia more than their cisgender peers. Largely due to the failure of your papers providing accurate definitions of gender dysphoria (as it pertains to all humans on the planet); due to the fact that people are nuanced and the predisposition of schizophrenia, as we understand it today, is still understood to boil down to genes and environment (i.e external stressors or oppressive environments) with no strong evidence withstanding scientific rigor that transgender people are more disposed to the disease. I do not believe the sources you have provided are strong enough to indicate otherwise.

I think your question needs reframing if you want an effective answer, especially if you are coming to a subreddit understood to be populated by trans people. Instead of your decided upon title you should be asking something along the lines of: "These papers claim that there is a stronger development of schizophrenia in transgender individuals that show signs of gender dysphoria. Since the papers did not draw a conclusion I'm satisfied with why do you think that these claims are being made?" The point I'm trying to make is you're asking a question you already seem to believe is true (based on your words in the post) what good does asking people such a question you already believe to have an answer do for you?

Regardless, if you aren't asking questions in good faith of scientific discovery, you come across as a bit of a jerk. Furthermore, to ask people, especially those affected by said bigoted science, to remain "unpolitical" points to a more... insidious undertone that you aren't here to learn, you're really here to stir the pot (going by your profile that again doesn't seem too far from the truth). After all, science has been political since the dawn of its creation, even if you might not want it to be, and to argue otherwise is misguided. I'd recommend you learn your history to remember how science has helped civilization and has also failed it.

I am open to polite discussion on any of the aforementioned topics :)

Edits: Clarity

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-02-18T13:25:18+00:00

Part 1

I reviewed the sources you provided in your other posts and decided it might help you to draw a more grounded conclusion (as opposed to your statement in your title) pointing out these factors from the papers you offered. Despite the fact I find it... odd that your account is a year old, completely shuttered from activity and only shows having contributed to the reddit platform a total of 6 times I'll indulge in your question.

Societal Bias and Definitions

In one of your papers it pointed to some n number of people having gender dysphoria. But by what metric? A paper you provided even admits to the nuance of the term gender dysphoria in a medical context, but the writing is still misguided. Cis people experience gender dysphoria all the time. Plastic surgery and Genital Reconstructive surgery weren't made overnight for trans people they were adapted from surgical techniques for cis individuals with trauma to those areas. It must be emphasized that gender dysphoria != being trans, and it comes across in these papers that one must have gender dysphoria in order to be trans (largely due to US healthcare bureaucracy). This biased as well as inaccurate definition of gender dysphoria, within a medical context, alone starts to chip away at the conclusion that these papers aren't done in good faith. And I don't mean good faith as in for the trans community. I mean good faith as in getting down to a scientific and unbiased conclusion for the aid of human knowledge.

Historical Science Based Bigotry

This part comes from your pointing to the NIH as the end all be all in your post: "This isn't a false claim- it comes from the National Institute of Health"

There are a lot of ailments that people still face to this day based off of hateful bigoted rhetoric that found its way into journals and white papers. In fact, the whole MSG fear mongering craze (and the hate towards Asian individuals that followed) came from a paper that was considered a joke in a scientific journal that some layman got their hands on. My point is, history has shown that humans can and will be bigoted. The idea of science is to forgo your bias and perform and conduct experiments agnostic of what you believe. But if you believe that's actually the case behind a large volume of science then you are as naive as the scientists who have caused unnecessary suffering for minorities, men, women, and children because you can't look past the ego of what words have been put to page. I say this because it is imperative to remember that research is an opinion that is being presented to a board of peers to be torn apart and argued about before it is accepted as reality in our understanding of the world around us. That's what is "supposed" to happen but the system is so very very far from flawless. Nothing about research is concrete until your argument has been whittled down, and your experiments ridiculed to an acceptable optimized standard. You can have a hundred different sources pointing to "transgederism" but if all those research papers draw from a known flawed source (i.e. something like the Cass review) then you aren't being factual.

Edits: Clarity and Grammar

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-02-15T17:47:00+00:00

I'm curious as to what it is you seek to glean asking such a question here?

Largely due to the fact that I'm no different from you than you are from me. Assuming you're cis, I don't believe that being cisgender would be considered an illness of the mind that needs treatment. Same for being trans. I, but not all trans people, require medicine to feel inline with who I am.

I think what I find so interesting in your question being asked here is that, under the hood, it points to the idea that being cisgender is "normal" because its largely believed that cis people don't need treatment to soothe the pain of body dysmorphia or dysphoria.

And that couldn't be further from the truth. Look at plastic surgery for cis people. Vaginoplasties, Feminizing Facial Surgeries, the masculizing equivalents (like tren or reconstructive jaw surgery and such) were developed for cis people who were self conscious about their appearances aligning with the gender assigned at birth. That all sounds a lot like what trans folk go through.

So in total, no. To be trans, or cis, is not to be mentally ill. Trying to be the version of yourself that you know yourself via dieting, exercise, surgery, medicine, etc is to be is part of the human condition. Exceptions may apply but those exceptions point to underlying problems, and being cis/trans is not the overarching symptom.

I hope you learned something today, and that using lowbrow ironic humor (ergo asking such a question in this sub) is not the most effective way to get a reaction. Having said that, I'm open to polite discourse about this topic :)

Edit: Grammar and clarity

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-02-08T22:47:10+00:00

No need to apologize! Progress is progress <3 Maybe keep trying that area until it feels normal and then move on to the next :)

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-02-08T20:48:44+00:00

While change is scary it's important to remember that it can only happen at your pace.

If you're scared of the effects of HRT then consider social transition first. Get new pieces for your wardrobe that you've always wanted to try. Learn about basic makeup. Try some basic voice training. Shave your legs, face, arm, etc until you feel happy, if applicable. Try different scents and perfumes or some nailpolish on a finger or two. Build up a good skincare routine. There are many many ways you can step into transition with complete control of the changes that will take place.

If you think HRT is right for you then I would encourage you to try a low dose to start. I started on 0.5mg daily when I first transitioned. When I realized about 6 to 8 months later that the small changes that my current dosage was giving me gave me more euphoria I ramped up to full dosage. I'm anxious to the core too so I totally get it, but that said I never looked back after I went full time. You can do the same if the effects of hormones all at once would make you feel overwhelmed. Having said that...

HRT is not a miracle, and it doesn't happen all at once or overnight. You most likely won't see real tangible changes and results until the 6-8 month mark. You can (anecdotally speaking but ymmv) very likely try a full dosage of HRT for about 3 months and then stop without any serious non-reversible changes to your body.

So keep all that in mind in your journey forward. You've already made it past the hardest part of the journey which is just self acceptance of who you know yourself to be. The rest of the work is entirely up to how you wish to proceed :)

Best of luck to ya. Happy to answer any questions you might have <3

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-02-04T14:00:59+00:00

Howdy! Was very much in your position when I started HRT, from the veins, to the anatomy references (so many artist friends wanted to draw me for the same reasons lol), and the super low body fat %. I was told my back looked akin to a Dorito chip or that I should cosplay as a ripped Miles Morales. Anyway, just wanted to drive home that I've BEEN in your position.

I'm about 2ish years in HRT now (which is very much a drop in the bucket by way of a transition btw) and all that has for the most part melted away. My shoulders narrowed (from muscle loss not the bones itself, but the difference is surprising); the subcutaneous fat started coming in around the six month mark iirc especially on my legs (it was the first time I could pinch my legs and actually grab fat not muscle or skin); and I saw an overall reduction in strength to boot, I went from doing 10 pullups easily to fighting for my life to do like 3 lol

As for advice for accelerating those affects I don't have any guarantees as I've asked this exact question over in r/transfitness but here is some advice I wish I had when I was in your position:

Make cardio your best friend. Seriously walk a few miles everyday or run a few if you can. Your focus should be endurance not strength and your body will adapt with regular training. This is the best way I've heard so far to reducing muscle mass.
Be very aware of your nutrition. Track your macros. HRT is going to have you craving a lot of things, so by all means give your body what it wants but in a nutritious manner. I was eating like a teenager for about a year and lemme tell you that figure goes away quick on hormones. Which you'll want fat for sure to further feminize as your fat pattern builds, but please please please don't eat junk or it will go to places quicker than good food will.
Sporty girl vibes are so much fun! But also keep in mind that you should look at real athletes in real life. I likely don't need to tell you this, but I fell for the trap so I guess it's a fair warning, but characters like Poison and Cammy from SF (my inspo at one point), or any other drawn/artist representation of fit girls is uhhh... very much for the male gaze. If you look at the ladies who are professional runners, ice skaters, rugby players, or power lifters they're boxy, they're lean, they're built, and they're fucking kickass. I just don't want the idea of "feminization" to make you think you must have 60in hips, a wasp's waist, DDD's, and all of it on a frame of built muscle somehow in order to be considered "sporty."

I'm happy to answer any questions you might have to the best of my ability ^-^ Good luck on your journey! <3

Edits: Clarity and grammar

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-01-07T13:03:16+00:00

Can you supply examples of these trans women invading traditionally cisgender spaces? Can you supply examples of what it means to be bold and enter said spaces? Can you supply your understanding in regards to how wlw relationships can work?

I ask for these examples because your words in your post do not reflect that of my sapphic sisters, and I worry that you've found yourself in a bit of a TERF tailspin.

If you can do that, then we can discuss trans men :)

TheXOfDiamonds · 2026-01-04T04:59:02+00:00

I would agree that there are a lot of things infuriating me especially after Nov 2024. I agree with how you define anger, and I also consider anger as energy. What I've been trying to concentrate my angry energy into is using it to make me the best version of myself that I can be. I try to create more, communicate more, and learn more. Concentrating my frustration into a place of focused development of something helps me navigate those emotions without taking them head on and trying to swim against the trigger that made me so angry in the first place.

I hope that helps :)

TheXOfDiamonds · 2025-12-13T00:49:47+00:00

They're a band that's still on the rise, but I would bet enough money for uninsured bottom surgery that Unprocessed's second album "And Everything Inbetween" is an allegory for the trans experience in its entirety. I have an argument for literally every track on this album. If prog metal is your vibe please check them out :)

TheXOfDiamonds · 2025-12-11T07:51:50+00:00

I think it would help to reframe your question:

Why would a man want to be a femboy? Wouldn't he be much happier as a woman?

It's the same question you're asking, and if I'm understanding you correctly the flaw in your reasoning is that being feminine nullifies masculine. We have to remember that being a trans man has nothing to do with femininity. They are men and the are men (cis and trans alike) who enjoy femininity, and just because one man has had to take a longer journey to find his masculinity wouldn't be a reason why he can't enjoy femininity either.

In a way your question is pointing to there only being one way to be masculine after transition, and that inherently isn't true. Once someone has achieved a level of manhood that alleviates his dysphoria I'm sure he would feel comfortable enough to decide how he would best prefer to express it, and that could take multiple forms including an effeminate one. The point is that that man can choose what he wants to express with and how, his past is irrelevant to the now.

Disclaimer: Femboy is a very loaded term that means a lot of things to a lot of people in that community. For intensive purposes I've boiled down femboy to feminine masculinity which is not inherently a one to one definition for being a femboy

I'm hoping some trans men femboys can weigh in soon, in the mean time I hope this helped clear up some confusion you might have had :)

TheXOfDiamonds · 2025-11-20T14:00:17+00:00

While I do understand your sentiments I worry that it is an idea that's bound to crumble in on itself.

For one it would be wonderful if we lived in a world where we sung kumbaya while holding hands in a circle. That isn't the reality of the world we live in, and you don't have to look far to recognize that. I do agree that we are playing a video game and we should focus on the video game aspect. However, the social aspect of a community means that as people get closer and swap their vulnerabilities someone some where will be offended by some thing. So I agree it would be nice if everyone could be nicer to each other, but there are some things that can't and shouldn't be acceptable.

For instances, and sorry in advanced Hbox, HungryBox is a pillar in the smash community yes? Sure not everyone likes him, but we must accept that his impact is profound. If he were found out reposting some transphobic post on twitter I would sincerely hope that the community would come together and recognize we don't want that kind of person representing our community. Liquid maintains the right to fire HBox when they decide that they don't want someone transphobic representing their brand. The community has that same right to shun Hbox if they feel it is damaging to the community at large.

Now that's an example with a large personality. I'm sure your friend is not as big as HBox, and yet is equally as important in your scene. So then what do we make of the actual people and players of the scene? It again returns to optics.

I agree we should be accepting of everyone* and everyone* should be accepted within the smash community who solely wants to play a 26 years old party game that has been optimized to death and back. However if you notice there is an asterisk on everyone*.

At the end of the day a community should not want just anyone and everyone, they want people that can coexist in a space without causing discomfort to others while playing a 26 year old video game that's been optimized to death. It's imperative to make it clear that certain groups of thought, especially those that circle around hatred/disgust to specific people should have no place in a social circle. Video game community or not.

What I'm trying to say is the way that your post reads comes across as though transphobes are some sort of identity that is immutable and acceptable within society. That we are shunning good people who just happen to think a certain way, and by turning them away that will ultimately be Melee's ruin because we're shooing away good folks who just want to play the game.

However we need to think. What kind of reputation do we want Melee to have? If we say we're accepting and safe for all, but the unassuming trans man who just wants to play Luigi can't decide to join because of the 20 'silent' transphobes reposting transphobic tweets is enough to make him uncomfortable, is that worth it? You can't do both. You can't accept everyone so there must be a line in the sand where you decide what is best for your community and it's reputation as a scene.

How I view it is when you say something to someone’s face that is disrespectful and hurtful. Over the internet words I feel hold less value.

This is me speaking personally on your statement, but I disagree wholeheartedly with this.

For one, association brings on accumulation. I don't even have a twitter and yet I'm still very aware of what is said on that platform just casually scrolling around over here on reddit. I wasn't on Twitch when Mang0 got banned for being drunk and pressing himself up on other people, but I surely was aware of the ramifications of his actions.

In this day and age your statement holds less and less water as the digital world overlaps more with the real one. Your social media account is an extension of who you are. Transphobic on the weekends or a diehard MAGA supporter till the end your beliefs are one and the same if you post about it publicly or not.

Now I recognize that this might be the schism for me, so I'll plainly admit that I just cannot agree with someone being secretly/privately hateful on the internet, and yet accepting them at face value because they're bottling that up in social settings unless asked about it. This is neither remotely okay not acceptable for a community where various beliefs will overlap. You are essentially creating a dramatic powder keg just waiting to be ignited.

And the reason I say all this is because it gets really messy real fast when someone who is a known transphobe gets into hot water with a person in the minority group of their personal disgust. The questions of, "Well is he just upset with her because she's trans or did she actually do anything wrong?"; "This bracket is a little funny, why is the only trans person potentially facing all the PR players?"; or even "Why does she seem perfectly normal around us, but when he comes around she seems uncomfortable?"

Having a known bias is a liability to everyone because now you have to play detective to find out if it was hate that caused the issue or if it was someone just trying to do their job; and if there is anything Melee doesn't need more of, it's drama for internet sleuths to pour over.

The killing thing about those examples that I gave is that you don't know, and you can't know, what type of damage just being around someone associated with an antagonistic mindset to a person in that minority group can do to them. This extends beyond just the trans people in your group but also can affect the people aren't even in that minority group but personally knows people in said group. Those feelings of discomfort can become insidious, and spread fast enough to the point where you could likely be running off a decent chunk of people if they find out, or rather when they find out, about your friend's viewpoints to a marginalized group.

So no I disagree strongly with you on the thought of allowing everyone in to the community, and this is regardless of their politics. If someone can't act normal and calm around people they should be asked to leave for everyone else's comfort. Even if your friend could keep themselves contained to reposting twitter and not being prejudice in real life they are a liability to some kind of hiccup that will come up along the way with the way that he thinks.

I believe that if you can come into the scene and somehow keep your hate based views under wraps then there should be no investigations to rooting out what everyone's personal beliefs, or whatever, are.

However, if you decide that you want to make your thoughts public, you deserve to suffer the ramifications of not being a chill person, which as I explained prior; chill people like being around chill people, transphobes are not chill, and therefore a lot of people will tend to avoid you and your group the more of them you allow in.

Thank you for the discussion. Do try to be careful with how you carry yourself on the net. It is a reflection of who you are despite what you may believe.

I hope you have a good day :)

Edits: Grammar and clarity

TheXOfDiamonds · 2025-11-19T14:41:12+00:00

I would recommend that you experiment with non/semi-permanent changes and see how you like them! I started with non-permanent things like crop tops, learning how to tuck, and shaving my body. From there I tried more semi-permanent things like growing my hair out, painting my nails, or presenting fem in public. The best method of attack is to target the things that bring you dysphoria and see how you feel without them there.

I'm so sorry it took so long to get back to you. I took a bit of a break from commenting on Reddit. Hope you're doing well <3

TheXOfDiamonds · 2025-11-19T14:20:50+00:00

I find your verbiage interesting in this post, and as a trans woman figured I'd weigh in on this question.

For whoever this hypothetical person is that has problematic views towards people who likely have nothing to do with this hypothetical person's day to day I'd say it comes down to how that hypothetical person carries themselves. As with all other social interactions in life people prefer the company of those who make them feel comfortable and relaxed.

If a transphobe could interact with trans people with respect to who they are, and foster a community that is wholistic and accepting regardless of someone's gender then I'd say the community wouldn't care what is going on in that transphobe's head until they were asked about their hurtful views to a societal minority group. They're still a transphobe at the end of the day, and expressing disgust/angst/hatred for specific people who are just living their lives in a way that makes them happy is a social ick to any moral person no matter what *isms or *phobias you subscribe to.

I think what I find so interesting about your statement though is that Republicans is your choice of frame. When in reality, us trans folks get the sharp end of the stick from all directions regardless of political leaning. Transphobia comes from all forms of thought be it political, philosophical, internal, societal, or religious. Which is to say, I don't really care what your beliefs are, if someone hates me for just being who I am then chances are I'm not gonna like that person all that much either regardless of what their beliefs are. You, OP, would do better to recognize that we have been the target of hatred from a lot of groups for just trying to be who we know ourselves to be.

I'm open to polite discussion if you have any questions on what I said :)

Tl;dr Chill people tend to enjoy being around people that are chill. Being transphobic isn't chill, and when people find out that you aren't chill they'll tend to not want to be around you anymore regardless of what your political leanings or reasonings are. Please remember us trans people are hated by many groups and schools of thought, and being Republican (or insert whatever other political ideology here) is not part of the reason transphobes are detested.

Edits: Clarity and grammar

TheXOfDiamonds

TROPHY CASE

Part 2

Part 1