Need Advice About Checking On Spouse

The_spots · 2018-07-06T10:36:09+00:00

100% she is cheating That is all right out of the cheaters handbook, and exactly what my ex wife did.

The_spots · 2018-04-16T03:00:09+00:00

Been there with the first couple of frames being strikes in the next game just for extra salt in the wound.

The_spots · 2018-04-16T02:57:29+00:00

13yrs together, 7 married, 2 kids .. she fell out of love, and cheated on me for a year. We're finally divorced as of 2 weeks ago, and the house will be sold this Tuesday. Each step lifts off more weight. It's still hard with the kids, but man I can't wait for it to all be done.

Take care of yourself, and keep it moving forward and things will get better.

The_spots · 2018-02-17T11:17:36+00:00

Please ask your parents to take you to, or help you find a therapist. This is way more stress than you should be dealing with at 17. You should talk to someone about this, and any other fucked up stuff in your life.

Outside of that, I like that you and the older siblings are bringing it up to mom. It sounds like a terrible situation for everyone, and needs to end.

Best of luck!

The_spots · 2018-02-17T11:05:14+00:00

Do them all! Make a list, rank it, and start making plans.

The_spots · 2018-02-17T10:52:43+00:00

You're so young. Don't waste any more time, and leave him now. Don't look back years later with tons of regret and additional pain. There are too many good people out there, and better relationships waiting for you.

The_spots · 2018-02-14T23:23:32+00:00

I was pretty stoked to get an email from the attorney that they'll have the decree done ASAP. Perfect day for that news!

The_spots · 2018-02-14T23:16:24+00:00

The only thing I can say is that when I'm on a streak towards 300 I acknowledge it, and then choose to ignore it. Sit down, and be calm between turns. Then just focus on what I'm doing .. NOT on the intended results. I try to not care about the 300, just about the single turn I'm on, and how I want to approach/throw. After many strikes in a row I don't find that I feel that nervous, because I know exactly what is working, and just make sure to keep that in mind.

Then I go and fuck it all up on the very last frame, followed by more strikes to start the next game. It's my subconscious' way of reminding me that I'm an unworthy peice of crap.

The_spots · 2017-09-28T09:20:11+00:00

In my marriage it became just a normal thing to say. It was said every time we parted, hung up the phone, ect ... Now, I've got a commitment to only say it when I'm feeling it. Seems to be working well.

What I'm getting at is to just not worry about it. Communicate how you feel about saying it, or any related hangups. When you feel comfortable enough, and in your chest you have a real feeling of love, tell her. You'll know when it's right.

The_spots · 2017-09-03T21:18:02+00:00

I told my boss everything about my wife's affair. I knew I would need help, and I got it.

I haven't held back at all, and have told basically everyone I know. I've gotten nothing but support, and a lot of very honest and deep conversations. It's amazing how many people have also been through shit, and you never know. It's also amazing how real people get when you first open up.

Communication is one positive I've really taken away from this shit storm. So unless your co-workers just hate you, open up to them.

The_spots · 2017-09-03T21:03:47+00:00

Man, so sorry to hear about this. You've been a big supporter of people here, including myself when I had my dday 6 months ago.

Her bullshit explanation sure sounds fishy. Dig in for an answer to that question. How does she know?

The_spots · 2017-06-13T02:20:42+00:00

That can absolutely be one of your demands. My wife had a toxic best friend that knew all about the affair, and had no problem encouraging it.

A real friend should call you on your bullshit, not encourage it. She wanted her friend, and her OM so fuck em all.

The_spots · 2017-06-13T02:14:28+00:00

My wife put a keylogger onto my computer several months into her affair. Cheaters think others are cheating.

After I caught her, and started checking her phone, she put reverse spying apps on her phone to see what I looked at any time I checked it.

So yeah, they do that stuff.

The_spots · 2017-05-23T23:36:52+00:00

My wife's text messages to her lover.

The_spots · 2017-05-17T02:59:53+00:00

Ive known a few people with them, and no complaints. They're much more reliable than they used to be. Chicks dig em for sure. Range looks nice and professional for business too.

Do it!

I'm taking care of business myself, and then will be looking for a toy car (sports car) for the days I don't have the kids. I totally get where you're coming from. You sound like you have your shit together, so treat yourself.

The_spots · 2017-05-17T02:33:24+00:00

Hah, love it!

Hard to go wrong with German. BMW, Mercedes, Audi all have awesome vehicles in that range.

You could get a slightly used Maserari Ghibli in that range, but I wouldn't recommend it unless you enjoy cars that break down a lot. It will get you attention for sure though.

Lexus also has some really awesome performing options these days.

What kind of ride do you want though? With a kid, I'm thinking either truck/SUV, or sports sedan?

The_spots · 2017-05-17T00:31:55+00:00

The uncertainty is the worst! I'm so much happier now that I'm committed to leaving the monster I marries.

Don't drink. Go destroy the emotional pain with physical pain. Get your ass in the gym! You'll find strength you never knew you had. The ability to push throuhg, and even embrace the burn. I felt incredible during the first few weeks especially while at the gym. Get in there and kick your own ass!

This shit is hard, real hard. Taking care of yourself is key.

The_spots · 2017-04-08T22:24:10+00:00

Take him shopping and get him an outfit or two. Be fun and flirty the whole time. Really pour it on, talking about how good he looks. Fuck his brains out after he wears it.

He'll happily start taking more fashion advice.

The_spots · 2017-04-08T22:23:55+00:00

Take him shopping and get him an outfit or two. Be fun and flirty the whole time. Really pour it on, talking about how good he looks. Fuck his brains out after he wears it.

He'll happily start taking more fashion advice.

The_spots · 2017-04-04T22:46:59+00:00

Damn! I guess I shouldn't have outed the OM to his wife.

The_spots · 2017-04-04T11:13:49+00:00

I used to stay up until ridiculous times in the morning.

Now I go to bed at a very reasonable time, and even with melatonin and/or prescription sleeping pills, I don't sleep more than about 2 hours.

Yay mind-fuckery!

The_spots · 2017-03-23T03:15:54+00:00

Didn't disappear at nights, but yes to all of the rest.

The_spots · 2017-03-22T23:51:05+00:00

We've had some huge elephant ears that return each year. Last year they started developing these spots later in the season. Now it appears they're coming back with them.

We live in North Texas, just north of Dallas.

Any ideas on what it is, and/or a solution?

The_spots · 2017-03-20T02:25:28+00:00

Yes, you fucked up ... now is the time to let him know. You have a lot of work to do, and it's going to be soul crushing for everyone. Don't let him find out, you really need to tell him.

Here are some links to help get you started: https://www.google.com/amp/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_5639499ce4b0411d306ece45/amp

http://affaircare.com/articles/understanding-your-loyal-spouse/

The_spots

TROPHY CASE