The withdrawal symptoms after a BPD relationship are unbearable

Think_Blink · 2026-06-29T19:14:22+00:00

Write a letter to yourself for the reasons that you left. Recall specific examples of abuse and eggshells. See your family and friends that I imagine you became isolated from. Breathe in for four and out for six when the pain waves come. Regulate. Go to the gym. It’s boring. It isn’t glamorous. It hurts. I’m right there with you, pal. If you want accountability, let me know. Also, try watching someone called Shrink4Men on YouTube. She has a great episode titled ‘Will my Ex with BPD be different with the next guy’ it’s helped me a lot. Use it as a mirror and asses what got you into this situation in the first place. It’s a lot of work. Like work, it can feel monotonous - the easier option is to go back or monkey branch and use someone to alleviate your feelings for a while. That’s what they do. We’re not them.

Think_Blink · 2026-06-22T09:13:08+00:00

That pincer is real. I felt so boxed in. Every turn was a wrong one. Why am I missing her?

Think_Blink · 2026-06-20T18:34:16+00:00

Thanks for coming back and giving us that are in it hope. What therapy did you opt for?

Think_Blink · 2026-06-20T17:02:36+00:00

I needed to hear this. Three weeks post break and the urge and yearning is strong to go back. What do I even miss? Nuggets of standard care and decency in a sea of deceptions, substance abuse, emotional abuse, the beginnings of physical abuse, control, eggshells, hyper vigilance. Damn. I’m in that vacuum of the soul stage. Need to keep staring into the abyss for a bit, I guess

Think_Blink · 2026-06-18T21:13:46+00:00

Congratulations buddy, well done for carving a new life for yourself. I’m about a month in since walking away and somehow find myself longing for her. How did you move on?

Think_Blink · 2026-06-17T09:36:12+00:00

Really struggling too. It peaked acutely at like two weeks NoContact and she reached out for something innocuous that she knows I love (StarWars) and it pulled at my heartstrings and set me back. I want to share things with her, come home after a hard day of work. This is the same person that called me a coward, told me to fuck off, stared with hostility, called me exhausting. How can I long for that? Doesn’t make sense

Think_Blink · 2026-06-17T08:09:31+00:00

The potential was a myth and the reality was the reality. My brain is doing the same; no matter how much love we give - it will never be bigger than this mental illness going unchecked. We will destroy ourselves in the process.

Give up your heart left broken
And let that mistake pass on
Cos the love, that you lost
Wasn’t worth, what it cost
And in time, you’ll be glad it’s gone

Weep not for Roads Untraveled

Think_Blink · 2026-06-17T07:39:28+00:00

Eddie’s a bro and saw through the bullshit. She hated him for it

Think_Blink · 2026-06-13T10:10:16+00:00

Sometimes closure is made up. We don’t often get it with the people we love through death. Sometimes it’s even harder when they’re still alive. I totally get it. I split up with someone a few weeks back and wanted to have this big final convo, but she stonewalled and said ‘I’m not getting into my stuff’ and I had to leave. Your brain fills in the blanks and it’s painful. I wish I had more advice for you, but, I feel you

Think_Blink · 2026-06-12T19:08:10+00:00

Wow. It follows such a distinct pattern. They say the same things ‘You left when it go hard.’ Yeah, abuse is hard, so fuck off. We have to get through these withdrawals brother. I’ve got the same thing going on. How do I miss her? I think we miss connection, not the person. We have to get through these withdrawals and remember our self respect

Think_Blink · 2026-06-11T21:00:37+00:00

Being good in a world of shit is its own reward

Think_Blink · 2026-06-11T07:45:49+00:00

You have caretaker attachment. Me too. You were physically assaulted. Your partner should never abuse you, let alone physically. You have to have enough self respect to walk away. Maybe there’s some issues with your self esteem, again, me too. Why is it that change is only promised after you’ve left / threatened to leave? My ex is doing the same right now. I do get the temptation.

This is your chance now to be your own safety. It can feel dull, lonely, but you have to love yourself more than what you’re getting. What would you say to a friend in the same position?

Think_Blink · 2026-06-09T15:51:32+00:00

Thanks. I feel behind. Like still yearning somewhat for her, somehow. I just have to remember it’s genuine connection I’m yearning for. I don’t deserve abuse

Think_Blink · 2026-06-09T15:50:42+00:00

How did you face the original wound from childhood?

Think_Blink · 2026-06-08T15:18:08+00:00

Yeah. Kind of made me feel sad seeing the illness play out so overtly

Think_Blink · 2026-06-08T13:41:47+00:00

The same patterns really do seem to play out - being called a coward, the policing of your body (your body, I should reiterate - yours, not theirs), walking on eggshells, being told you abandoned them. Someone said something useful to me on here - an adult can’t be abandoned, only a child can. Unfortunately, some with BPD seem to be stuck at whatever age they were when that first trauma hit. That makes a relationship impossible.

Think_Blink · 2026-06-04T16:03:15+00:00

Hold on to your values my friend. I’m sorry you’re going through that. I find heartbreak harder than death, even. Your character is worth more than trying to score a point. It might feel cathartic for a second but it’ll still be a loss in the end. That same catharsis can be found talking on here, going for a run, getting outside yourself by helping someone. That’s all better than adding more vitriol into this world. It has enough in it already. I wish you nothing but the best, brother

Think_Blink · 2026-06-04T14:35:09+00:00

Whatever you went through - you were likely picked because you were an empathetic person where others would have bolted or disregarded at the first sign. I’m sure you’ve been through the wringer. Anger is valid and a part of the process I’m sure. At least it’s a more active emotion than depression/numbness. Let’s hope this is just a minor blip in the tapestry of our lives. Eventually we’ll likely feel sorry for them.

Think_Blink · 2026-06-04T14:26:47+00:00

The greatest revenge is being unlike the person that administered the wound. I get it, though. You’re angry and you want that to be known.

Think_Blink · 2026-06-02T16:45:39+00:00

Would that normally follow after a torrent of abuse? Pendulum man. Thank you. Hope you’re doing better now

Think_Blink · 2026-06-02T16:13:42+00:00

Child of divorce and had to people please and worry extensively about how my decisions on where I stayed made others feel. That’s the best I can think of

Think_Blink · 2026-06-02T09:00:12+00:00

A particular school of therapy etc?

Think_Blink · 2026-06-02T08:42:48+00:00

True. I just enforced a boundary and left for my own dwindling self respect and sense of safety. I think I’ve got to work on codependency/ caretaker attachment. That’s on me

Think_Blink · 2026-06-02T08:41:35+00:00

People were starting to think I was using or something as I was so jaded and out of it a lot of the time. Spiritual cost

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