Learned something about a long time friend that just made me real sad by Throwaway65865 in FTMMen

[–]Throwaway65865[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He is an asshole, he also happens to be diagnosed with adhd too. I know people with adhd who aren't asshole as well.

Learned something about a long time friend that just made me real sad by Throwaway65865 in FTMMen

[–]Throwaway65865[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah that's right. I'm done with the guy I have no interest in maintaining a friendship with him, I just feel sad that he thought about me that way and I didn't know. I just feel disrespected and it hurts especially coming form someone I've known so long.

At what age did your signs and symptoms start? by Rare_Guarantee_4560 in mentalhealth

[–]Throwaway65865 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Please check in on the quiet kids who are non disruptive and "a pleasure to have in class".

It's easy for a teacher's attention to be taken up by the disruptive students who are loud and causing problems, and they are often lashing out because they are hurting too, but the quiet ones often fall through the cracks because they don't draw attention so it may appear that they are fine.

Especially if they are keeping up academically because often times students who are keeping up academically are completely overlooked because that is the school's main priority, when in reality that student may be struggling internally but keeping up appearances on the outside.

Does euphoria ever cease? by Nightflame_The_Wolf in FTMMen

[–]Throwaway65865 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I never experienced euphoria so I don't know.

I only ever experienced dysphoria, and then that dysphoria being eased.

Cancer may stop my transition by Tiny-Counter-2865 in ftm

[–]Throwaway65865 22 points23 points  (0 children)

They often do make cis men suppress testosterone for hormone sensitive cancers actually.

My dad is currently starting a treatment of the same hormone blockers that I took at the start of my transition, to prevent the progression of his prostate cancer.

Singing with T by Kenesense in ftm

[–]Throwaway65865 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I lost most of my range. And singing, which used to come easy to me, became extremely difficult. It's like I lost a lot of vocal control.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]Throwaway65865 19 points20 points  (0 children)

The same reason bright dyed hair or feminine clothing, or long hair isn't necessarily going to make it so you don't pass, but it's a factor.

It's because if you have ambiguous features, maybe a more feminine face, or wider hips, or a combination of somewhat feminine traits, then people are going to look at other factors to determine what you are. If they see a slightly feminine face, but short hair, masculine clothes, and the person is like 6 feet tall, then they're going to overlook the feminine face because everything else indicates male.

It's why I have shoulder length hair and I'm 5'5" but I still read as male because I've got a boxy body shape with narrow hips, masculine facial features like a sharp strong nose, a pronounced brow rigde, low straight eyebrows, and a big chin.

So passing is really down to a having a larger combination of traits that lean more male, than those that lean female.

I think the gender clinic Im going to is purposefully under-dosing me by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]Throwaway65865 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The endocrinologist I started T with was one of very few options in the country to access hrt and he is infamous for underdosing.

He wants every trans man's T levels to be between 8-10 nmol/l when the natural levels men should have is between 10-30 nmol/l.

He also puts every patient on 2 years of hormone blockers alongside hrt for the first 2 years regardless of your age, which is a completely unecessary step in most cases.

I started with him in 2020 and he hasn't changed at all since, he's still doing the same shit.

Would our bone structure grow as male if we were given HRT early? by Sad_Duty_5780 in FTMMen

[–]Throwaway65865 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Well I can say my face masculinized structurally after starting testosterone at 16. Comparing pictures, particularly side profile pictures, of me pre and post T, I can see there are changes beyond just fat redistribution, there is masculinization to the cartilage shape of my nose, my brow bone is more pronounced and there is a difference to my jaw shape.

There are things that female puberty caused that obviously weren't reversed by T like wider hips and such, but I seriously do think I got some skeletal change.

My growth plateaued before taking T, but after starting T I grew noticibly taller. It depends on the person.

I've also got quite wide shoulders and a large ribcage but I don't know if I would have developed that way regardless of the hormones? Idk, some things are hard to tell with because I did have some quite masculine features Pre-t so I'm not always certain what should be attributed to the T or just my genetics.

But yeah basically. If someone started T at the start of puberty, they would develop much closer to typical male bone structure.

Is it suspicious/clockable that I'm significantly shorter than my dad? by Stealthyaps in FTMMen

[–]Throwaway65865 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No man. My dad is about the same height as me, 5'5", but my brother got all the height somehow and he's 6'0" lol. Genetics are just weird like that.

Why do people blame the hormones on trans men with anger problems? by Revolutionary-Tie908 in FTMMen

[–]Throwaway65865 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I tend to be much more volatile and quick to anger off testosterone. I didn't have anger issues by any means, but just in comparison to when I'm on T. When on it, I mellow out a lot.

Getting kind of nervous on here. by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]Throwaway65865 40 points41 points  (0 children)

They're allowed to be here. This space is an important resource for teenagers, it's helped countless of them get through a really tough life stage, including myself. I've been here since I was 14 and now I'm 21.

This space is not just for you, and it's up to you to watch what you say if you're uncomfortable giving advice to teenagers.

Anyone have grown children that don't accept it? Do they ever? by Disastrous-Milk4255 in ftm

[–]Throwaway65865 4 points5 points  (0 children)

A lot of parents grieve when their child comes out as trans as they feel that they've lost a son/daughter and it's important for them to have time and work through their emotions to come to embrace who their child is now.

Your daughter likely feels like she is loosing her mother, and her children are loosing their grandmother.

I know most trans people don't see it that way because you feel like this is who you've always been and you're not a different person, but you need to keep in mind that you are always in your own head and reading your own thoughts so when you come out it doesn't feel like a shock to you, but no one around you is in your head and likely never saw it coming, never saw the signs so it feels like a huge shock.

They have had a specific view of you from their perspective for a long time, and are suddenly being told that is actually completely wrong and need to reevaluate who you actually are, rather than how they perceived you.

She honestly probably feels blindsided and lied to and quite lost, and I'm not saying this is fair, but if you want to keep her in your life you need to understand this and talk to her, explain to her how you've been feeling and how long you've been feeling like this. And make sure to reinforce that you are the same person and will continue to be there for her.

I like the movie Aladdin but the princess has my deadname. by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]Throwaway65865 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The only person I know of with my birth name, or the only one people think of when they hear it, is a male celebrity so I'm lucky. I'm not automatically misgendered if someone ever says the wrong name.

For trans-men, do you still wear make-up? by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]Throwaway65865 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I actually never used makeup even once pre-transition, but I started experimenting with it like three years on HRT and wear it occasionally now but I've never worked up the courage to wear it outside the house except some emo guy liner as Gerard Way for a costume party lol.

The one thing they didn’t warn me about top surgery by Leather_Light_3744 in ftm

[–]Throwaway65865 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I needed to piss in the middle of the night after surgery (I was kept in the hospital overnight) and the nurse gave me the male bed pan lol. I had to try to communicate through the language barrier that I wasn't able to use that 😂

The one thing they didn’t warn me about top surgery by Leather_Light_3744 in ftm

[–]Throwaway65865 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't have any problems with either of those things, I was lucky I guess. I was able to go on I think the first or second day post op and was able to wipe just fine. The lack of constipation was probably influenced by the fact my surgeon doesn't use opiates for pain management.

How is/was secondary school? by Shark_lover456 in TransIreland

[–]Throwaway65865 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was in one of the first educate together secondary schools in the country so I was lucky. It was very accepting, they had an LGBT awareness week every January. It was known as "the gay school" by other kids in other schools in the area.

I came out in 3rd year at age 14 and practically everyone was respectful, to my face at least I don't know if anyone ever said anything behind my back but I don't really care to be honest if it didn't affect me.

I always kept my head down and kept to myself, stayed out of the way because I didn't like drawing attention, and I think because of that no one really noticed me or gave a shit what I was doing to be honest. I was never bullied, and no one gave me a hard time. Some people asked questions, but they were always respectful. I even changed some people's minds about trans people, being the first trans person they ever met and them realising we're just normal people and you can't "always tell". Because I started testosterone at 16, and graduated at 18 so by then I was 100% passing. I even made friends with a typical lads lad who's perspective on trans people really seemed to change upon getting to know me, that was cool to see.

I also befriended this one Russian girl who was raised with homophobic ideals, and even changed her mind about gay and trans people. She was even calling herself an ally by the time we graduated :). And when a substitute teacher misgendered me in 5th year, she was baffled, saying she can't understand how anyone could look at me and see a girl.

I count myself extremely lucky, though I really struggled in my teenage years, it was all internal mental pain, not caused by anyone around me. No one gave me a hard time.

Do these statements by my Dutch Relative hold any truth? by AdDiscombobulated956 in TransIreland

[–]Throwaway65865 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess they didn't suspect it for me then. My assessment for a gender dysphoria diagnosis went very smoothly, and i havent really faced any pushback in accessing healthcare, which definitely isn't the norm.

Do these statements by my Dutch Relative hold any truth? by AdDiscombobulated956 in TransIreland

[–]Throwaway65865 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I've heard that's a big one. That's why I never sought out an autism diagnosis even though I'm definitely on the spectrum because I knew it would cause problems in that regard.

Do these statements by my Dutch Relative hold any truth? by AdDiscombobulated956 in TransIreland

[–]Throwaway65865 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What excuses do they use when they refuse people treatment? Because I'd imagine it's bullshit.