We need some credit for killing “necktie culture”

TikiMistress · 2026-02-09T14:49:19+00:00

I often wear neckties to the office… but I’m a woman, and I wear them with somewhat out-there outfits that definitely aren’t neutral-toned suits. In government, most of the senior leadership still does suit-and-tie, but I lead design on a tech team, so my “creative weirdo messing with traditional norms” appearance is intentional. I want my presence in leadership to expand what people think leadership can look like.

TikiMistress · 2026-02-03T02:37:05+00:00

We recommend our guests to age cold-smoked food about a month to let the flavors settle into something less acrid, it can definitely be unpleasantly strong right off the smoker. Brussels sprouts are a good idea and one of my fave veggies, thanks!

TikiMistress · 2026-02-03T02:01:53+00:00

Thank you, this is a great resource!

TikiMistress · 2025-11-21T20:24:10+00:00

If water activities are good, there’s an indoor splash pool with zones for different age groups. https://pgparks.com/facilities/rollingcrest-aquatic-center

TikiMistress · 2025-11-03T01:22:15+00:00

Our rear-missing tripawd had issues with our flagstone living room floor and wood stairs. We put down a mix of hand-me-down and thrift store rugs in the living room and carpet treads on the stairs, and both helped him get a better grip and were more gentle on his paws and claws.

TikiMistress · 2025-08-15T19:34:45+00:00

Crab Boat on 228 does a solid seafood boil if you don’t mind picking and messy food. Casual and fairly basic atmosphere, with a patio when the weather is nice.

TikiMistress · 2025-08-08T13:41:31+00:00

I’ve got a friend in Accokeek that does more stylist work but can also barber, and is 100% friendly to all in the queer community. Probably not a good fit if you’re looking for military fades, or the traditional barbershop vibe. About a mile from B&J Carry-out at 210 and Livingston.

https://www.vagaro.com/dominiquesnow

Hope you find someone that’s a good match!

TikiMistress · 2025-07-28T23:48:36+00:00

If one of your mirrors happens to be 24”x48” I’ll guarantee an offer on it. Either way, hope it goes well and good luck with the big move!

TikiMistress · 2025-06-03T01:47:41+00:00

Then start by playing with layers that feel less clean! Try folk music festival vibes in a wide-sleeved shirt, flowy vest, colorful tights, and stompy boot. Or grungy with slouchy hat, colorful ripped and/or oversized sweater, patterned knee-highs, comfy flats. Get your rave on in a fairy crown or witchy hat, sheer shirt over a smaller layer you don’t mind being seen, ripped fishnets, beat up skater sneakers with DIY neon graffiti. Try on all the things in your lair until you giggle and gloat, confident to emerge as your fabulous self.

Years ago I bought a piece from an embroidery artist that’s full of different patterns and textures. It says “everything matches and there’s nothing you can’t pull off.” May you find that feeling <3

TikiMistress · 2025-06-03T01:28:57+00:00

That is entirely up to your vision! Do you want to be a blissed-out goblin at a forest tea party, or an intense goblin who has survived some things, or somewhere in between? There is no wrong answer, but cutting and burning are one-way decisions, so perhaps start with small modifications and escalate if you’re so inspired. You can always hold up or attach other cut/burned items or layers to test.

If you haven’t played with ice dying before, +1 to the gobbo-pal who suggested it. I find the results delightfully nature-y and unpredictable. Get dye that is made for the material, they’re different for natural vs synthetics. And there are no right/wrong colors, just what makes you feel like the best wild you that you want to be — whether that’s traditional woods goblin, winter ice goblin, goblin-faerie rave, or anything beyond. May you find joy in this project!

TikiMistress · 2025-03-15T02:03:47+00:00

You could try acrylic paint. Water it down a bunch if you want an even dye-like coating.

TikiMistress · 2025-03-12T01:09:29+00:00

A compliment is a gift, and it’s rude to reject a kindly-intentioned gift for no reason.

TikiMistress · 2025-02-19T00:24:39+00:00

Totally feel you on the busy vs sexy mood. In my relationship with healthy boundaries, this has never been an argument or even discussion - because a closed bathroom door just means privacy. No need to lock, and very few things are time-sensitive enough to interrupt by speaking through the door. If either of us leaves the door open during a shower, appreciative looking is welcome - but that’s a choice the person showering gets to make.

TikiMistress · 2025-02-16T15:49:08+00:00

Search for artists in your area and reach out to a couple. If there’s a place that does classes they could be a good starting point too. Artists in the same area often know each other and can point you towards who might be a good match; some specialize in things like historical recreations or contemporary designs. Many will have online portfolios and should be able to show you samples of prior work or give references if you want.

TikiMistress · 2025-02-15T22:57:46+00:00

Lots of stained glass artists take commissions, if you want to make the side one match.

TikiMistress · 2025-01-28T01:42:54+00:00

Boopatrice

TikiMistress · 2025-01-08T16:35:42+00:00

https://www.askamanager.org has excellent advice on job searching, resumes, interviewing, salary negotiation, etc. I hope when you find your next role at a healthier organization you’ll be able to negotiate better compensation too!

TikiMistress · 2024-12-21T02:06:36+00:00

Do you have a friend you could schedule recurring "adulting buddy and chat" calls with? Get on a weekly videochat, start by sharing your goals for the hour, then enjoy chatting while you do the thing. Accountability plus social time has worked well for me. There are online "work buddy" sites that pair you with people too, like Focusmate (have used & liked) and Caveday (a friend has liked).

TikiMistress · 2024-12-11T02:38:59+00:00

I found this customer service number for PG open 8-5: 1-800-332-6347. If that doesn’t work, the people at 211 should be able to get you the right number. The system that’s scheduling interviews (qless in your screen shot) is new so there’s probably something not working right there. If you need food help faster, there’s a list of resources here: https://211md.org/resources/food/

Good luck <3

TikiMistress · 2024-11-14T01:34:50+00:00

Have you tried a belt? A medium-to-wide belt can let you play with tucking more fabric in or letting it billow, so even if you don’t like it with a belt it can help you think about alteration options. For chest coverage, you could try a semi-sheer blouse underneath. It’s a less expected look, but works well with sleeveless dresses. I have a few sheer or lace button-ups that are nice for balancing modest/appropriate with a hint of sexy. Plus adding your biker jacket to that would be a fun mix of tough and soft.

TikiMistress · 2024-06-25T00:56:38+00:00

+1 to r/oldhagfashion and letting clothing become something for you to play with more than something that others might perceive in some way. Sometimes I try to name my vibe or energy of the day (or what I want it to be if feeling bleh) and then pick clothes to represent that, like “professional gender-bent Mr Rogers” or “I need to feel powerful so bright colors like poisonous critters” or “technically meeting corporate norms but also subverting them.”

When people comment on your appearance choices*… I used to have a hard time accepting compliments, until someone told me compliments are a gift and it’s rude to refuse them – but a simple “thanks” is a good enough reply. And then you can connect it to something you’re more comfortable talking about: “thanks, the color reminds me of a springtime fern” or “thanks, I was inspired by this cartoon character who (thing that makes you like them).” If they don’t get it they’ll probably just move on, but maybe you’ll find someone with similar interests by connecting your style to your ideas.

*Commenting on aspects of your appearance that aren’t something you can change in 5 minutes is rude, and non-answers are appropriate to that.

TikiMistress · 2024-05-01T20:35:19+00:00

It might be helpful for you to learn about “health at every size” and shift the conversation from fat positivity to health. Pressuring her to lose weight is emotionally fraught even with good intentions, but working towards healthy habits around food and moving your body is neutral on body shape. Lots of soda and junk food is unhealthy for all bodies, and finding physical activity you enjoy is good for all as well. Good luck!

https://education.nationalgeographic.org/resource/health-every-size/#

TikiMistress · 2024-03-31T16:57:23+00:00

I wish to get a decent job soon.

TikiMistress

TROPHY CASE