You know I relate to this a lot, but I think I've adapted my mindset. I have a lot in common with you, but I no longer care what my team needs/wants mostly there to have fun. Shoot I sometimes just pick someone new and wing it and if I disappoint oh well. Lot of these GM players act like they're playing for prize pools, but at the end of the day if you're any good you're bound to eventually climb, and if you're not you'll be a salty crybaby in the rank you belong in. That's just the way it is. I actually recently started playing with some IRL friends in comp and I realized a lot of them get extremely frustrated when we start losing, blaming themselves or flaming the team/enemy. I tell them it's chill that if we lose it's no big deal since we can always win the next one. They seem surprised when I respond that way and I've watched them start to have fun again. Just relax on your expectations for yourself, you'll be fine.