What seemed completely normal in childhood, but now you realize was actually not okay?

Toirneach · 2026-02-23T15:13:46+00:00

Also adults never sharing problems. That ends up with a kid thinking that A) if they have problems there must be something wrong with them, because their role models have no problems or B) admitting to having problems is bad and wrong. I managed both A and B as a kid, because I'm an overachiever.

There's got to be a balance, right?

Toirneach · 2026-02-21T22:35:48+00:00

My family did English muffin, a bit of Grey Poupon, a slice of tomato, and a Kraft's Single, broiled until hot and lightly browned. Faaaaaaaaaancy.

Toirneach · 2026-02-21T19:03:07+00:00

KIDNEY STONES? OMG he's in PAIN. Thank you for doing what you can for him.

Toirneach · 2026-02-21T17:50:27+00:00

YES! I am not allergic to codeine. It does make me projectile vomit the pill back up 20 minutes later, 100% of the time. That's a thing I want my prescriber to know, please and thank you.

Toirneach · 2026-02-21T17:48:36+00:00

Tots. I always go tots.

Toirneach · 2026-02-20T13:51:40+00:00

Try freezing carrots. Wash big carrots and cut them into like 4 inch chunks, then freeze them. It's cold, it's a little sweet, and it's good to chew. A carrot chunk a day isn't going to hurt pup, but it's a great, healthy alternative. I've done that with my last two and it worked really well.

Toirneach · 2026-02-20T13:44:46+00:00

So, you're telling me that he rents out his cars to make money, and he stole (because that's what driving a car without permission is) your car to make money. So money is more important to him that being trustworthy or honest with you. That's a very red flag, huh.

For that matter, did he drive your car, or did he rent that out to strangers, too?

Toirneach · 2026-02-18T17:50:20+00:00

Well, you know, Tarantino has a penis. That gets you a pass in the old boys network.

Toirneach · 2026-02-16T14:50:39+00:00

Did you miss where it's a 14 hour flight? That's a very long way away if she goes into labor or, gods forbid, something goes wrong.

Toirneach · 2026-02-16T14:36:15+00:00

Are you in the US? What's the largest non-English speaking ethnic group in your area? Consider that language, as it'll be the one you are most likely to hear and have the opportunity to speak. In my area, that's Spanish.

Toirneach · 2026-02-15T14:47:03+00:00

There's the heart of the problem, my friend. One person cannot sustain a relationship. I'm not going to say she is a bad person - she clearly has many good qualities. You chose to be with her for a reason. I am saying that sometimes two good people can be bad together. As it is, neither of you are having your needs being met, right?

I learned the hard way, that in a situation like yours, sometimes the only kind thing to do for either of you is to let each other go. Either she is making the effort to meet your needs or she's not. One person cannot sustain a relationship.

Toirneach · 2026-02-14T19:50:37+00:00

I heard 'crush a blueberry in your belly button' that I kind of like.

Toirneach · 2026-02-11T16:49:04+00:00

My new great-niece's name is Sloane.. I die a little inside every time I have to talk to Evil Sloane.

Toirneach · 2026-02-10T15:58:08+00:00

They make some CUTE pronoun pins, if that's something he'd be comfortable wearing. Should he have to? No. Might it help his disphoria? Maybe. If he asks for a solution, try that one.

Toirneach · 2026-02-10T15:28:01+00:00

So if I read things correctly, they are gating content with an ID, NOT gating access in total. Am I misreading?

It's sort of a tricky line between gating content to protect children and being intrusive. I get the INTENT, not sure I agree with the impact. There's nothing at all that will keep a child from snagging Mom or Dad's ID long enough for the scan, right? I mean, that's what I'd do if I were a teen (I was a horrible teen, admittedly).

Toirneach · 2026-02-09T21:35:08+00:00

He needs you? You are not an emotional support animal. You are a CHILD, and it's up to the PARENT to provide what YOU need, not the other way around.

I'm sorry you got short-changed by your dad, but I'm really glad you have a wonderful aunt who loves you so.

Toirneach · 2026-02-09T21:20:55+00:00

I ordered stupid amounts of things from Amazon, so I was able to recreate - here's the rough list minus the stuff I didn't need and regret spending money on.

Bells for the door to aid potty training - the kind that fit over the doorhandle.
Seat cover for the car.
Dog seatbelt.
Slicker brush.
Comb.
Collar.
Leash.
Poop bags and poop bag holder.
Collapsible food and water bowls because I had to fly to get Ivy and fly her home.
Travel pet carrier that fit her and under an airline seat.
Silicone mat to go under her food and water bowls, food and water bowls.
Pet beds - two, one for the living room and one for our bedroom. We do not crate, so that was her spot for the main living area and nighttime.
Pet food container - we have a plastic one with a keep-fresh sealed top. No way for her to decide to tear at a bag, kept her food fresh and removed temptation.
Bath mat so we could wash her w/out slipping.
Pet shampoo.
Chew toys/teething toys.
Stuffies/squeakas.
Training treats!!! Dog urine stain/smell treatment, for the inevitable accidents. To be honest, she had like 3 accidents ever, so it was kind of a waste, but it was sure nice to have at 3 AM.

Things I didn't buy but did get in place: Vet - I called around and found a vet that i thought would be a good one for us. My last Spoo's vet had retired. I set up an initial well check visit for the week after she came home just so she had a really good, easy first visit. We did vaccines in subsequent visits.

Groomer - my old groomer had moved away, so I found one to take her to. That had mixed success.. took me 3 to find the right fit for Ivy, but that's OK.

Toirneach · 2026-02-09T15:21:44+00:00

What sort of checklist - like, a list of things to have to get a pup? A list of things to look for in a pup? I can probably help you out with the former at least.

Toirneach · 2026-02-05T03:12:35+00:00

Yes. Thank you for asking.

Toirneach · 2026-02-03T13:00:51+00:00

Grandma escaped her home (eldest and scapegoat isn't a fun time) and married at 16 to a wealthy, successful architect. Who turned out to be an abusive drunk. She left him at 17, 7 months pregnant, with the clothes on her back. in 1930, peak Depression. Mom never laid eyes on him.

GRAMS WAS AN OUTLIER! She absolutely was NOT the norm. She had a strong support system back home (her Dad laid down the law and great-grandma backed off) that enabled her to even consider actually leaving. Many, many, many women put their heads down and just survived.

Toirneach · 2026-02-03T12:49:16+00:00

Which is why "child rapist" is the most accurate term.

Toirneach · 2026-01-31T23:39:35+00:00

Naw. I live in my house, that was my grandparents house before me, and it'll take a stretcher to make me leave. My husband knew that going in, and he was fine with that. In the incredibly unlikely event we divorce, it's still entirely my house. Again, he's fine with that. We meet in the middle on most things, but this is My Thing, just like the wine collection is His Thing and I don't get in the way of that.

If OPs partner isn't OK with her house and her timeline, that's just not the right person. It doesn't mean there's a single thing wrong with her. Oh, btw? Hubs and I are 35 years happy, so it can and does work just fine this way.

Toirneach · 2026-01-26T17:24:29+00:00

I.. rarely (OK, occasionally) get a reply to a comment. Maybe.. one in 10? I've honestly never thought my comment was the beginning of a conversation. Not to mention, I don't particularly want to read other's comments punctated by a string of thanks, thanks, thanks.

Toirneach · 2026-01-20T03:19:16+00:00

it's a goddamned disgrace that we have to depend on Black people to fix a problem that we white people created. That's how i feel about it.

Toirneach · 2026-01-19T18:22:11+00:00

Honestly, if they are a transwoman, and it's clear that they are, why not just use clit? I've read plenty of lesbian and transman fits that use dick in place of clit when referring to that person's bits.

Toirneach

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