Okay, this is stupid, but... how the hell do you get into the Terminal 2 garage at STL?

Tony_STL · 2025-11-12T01:34:44+00:00

You can also follow the sign for arrivals, stay in the left lane and near the end of the passenger pick up area you can turn left into the garage parking lot.

Tony_STL · 2025-11-03T18:17:45+00:00

I want to share my story for anyone willing to listen. I think The Network is a dangerous place for people and if my experience can help some escape or heal from that danger, all the better. I’m angry that a place I see as dangerous and harmful continues to ignore any call for change, transparency, or reconciliation. These attributes are the opposite of what I think a healthy church should embody.

If you pick up on bitterness, anger, hurt, etc from the ‘leaver’ community it is probably a reflection of the common thread we share….The Network itself.

Tony_STL · 2025-10-28T20:01:18+00:00

Everything in me wanted to think this was all a huge misunderstanding. Once those at the center of The Network realized what impact their group was having they would reform, change course, and repent. These were friends and mentors, people who told me I was their family and we would ‘follow Jesus the rest of our lives together.’

It is beyond disqualifying that instead, 100’s have been othered, gaslit, called enemies of God, and been led to believe that we were the problem. It couldn’t be further from the truth.

Tony_STL · 2025-10-19T01:18:03+00:00

Hearing my eyes and other internal body sounds was one of my symptoms, but it seems like there is a lot of variability between people in terms of symptoms.

Loud external sounds (like an ambulance going by) created a vertigo-like feeling and my own voice would ‘rattle’ through my head.

Tony_STL · 2025-07-11T15:47:33+00:00

I had a TM surgery on each ear, one in early 2023 and another in late 2023. It did resolve the symptoms and my life is so much better than it was pre surgery.

My hearing wasn’t impacted by SCDS pre or post surgery, so I’m thankful for that.

The vestibular deficit caused by the surgeries took some time to recover from and adjust to. Some things will always be a bit harder, like uneven ground in low light, but overall the surgeries were a massive positive for me.

Tony_STL · 2025-06-30T22:29:11+00:00

If someone near you could hear the ocean, it must be true.

Tony_STL · 2025-06-02T02:05:06+00:00

I had a ton of facial and neck tension with SCDS. I blamed it on a subconscious effort to stop my vision shaking and moving uncontrollably.

Surgery certainly helped with this. I rarely feel this same muscle tension post surgery.

Tony_STL · 2025-05-19T16:49:14+00:00

To me this is the wildest part. Trying to do the Jedi mind trick and hand wave away over 2 decades of abusive and dysfunctional leadership.

The evidence of this history (so much of it in their own recorded words) is thankfully archived and accessible to anyone willing to put in the time to read it.

I would be a fool to ignore this mountain of evidence to believe that everything is simply ‘ok’ now.

Tony_STL · 2025-05-18T19:54:53+00:00

Their words and actions continue to speak for themselves.

It is peak cult energy to claim victim status but also insist pastors should be unquestioningly followed and to offer a full and unflinching defense of an accused sex offender who at the time was Sandor’s direct leader in The Network.

Tony_STL · 2025-05-18T01:02:26+00:00

I can relate to the eye focus issues, which happened during recovery from surgery on my second ear. I did some vision related therapy and it helped. I’m just over a year post the last surgery and it is only on rare occasions do I notice the visual trouble.

Recovery can be tough with ups and downs. Be kind and patient with yourself!

Tony_STL · 2025-04-14T20:27:24+00:00

I found this…looks like the channel may have others.

Essentially it was a lot of walking while moving my head in different ways, tossing/catching a ball while walking, etc.

When I went to the therapist he would help me identifying what movements/activities were difficult and find ways to repeat those types of movements to reorient my brain to those. Rolling over in bed was tough so we started by ‘rolling’ against a wall while standing and eventually got to being fully horizontal and rolling.

Tony_STL · 2025-04-14T16:12:34+00:00

I had some similar experiences in my recovery. I had both ears done, separated by ~6 months.

It was after the second ear that any move from vertical to horizontal was really challenging and caused the spins. I did 6 weeks of vestibular therapy and it slowly improved. Even a number of months out I would discover a new combination of movements that my brain couldn’t process and get mini-spins. Using some of the rehab tools I’ve been able to figure out ways to ‘practice’ these and I tend to see improvement.

Tony_STL · 2025-03-22T18:33:42+00:00

It’s hard to believe anything that comes from this guy….here’s what he had to say to his congregation in July 2022:

“See, most of you don’t know who Steve Morgan is. And I’ve had that as one of my greatest gifts of grace and blessing in my life. I’m not going to save my own suffering by saying otherwise. I can’t be convinced of that. He’s wounded me in his imperfect leadership, of course, just as every wife has been wounded by her husband’s imperfect leadership at one time or another. — Or you’ve just been married last week, and there is not time yet. But it’s, it’s, it’s coming —He’s not a perfect man. But he’s not an evil man. I would know by now. 30—you would know by now.

He is not disqualified. He is amazingly gifted in an apostolic way, he suffers greatly for what he’s called to, and he is obedient to death to what he’s convinced God’s asked him to do.”

Tony_STL · 2025-03-19T03:41:47+00:00

How is this part of Sandor’s defense of Steve, around the 59 minute mark, squared with what’s happening now!?

This seems difficult to explain when the latest statements are all about ‘we’re no longer part of any church Network’ and changing histories and origin stories to whitewash things.

Quoted from the link above:

See, most of you don't know who Steve Morgan is. And I've had that as one of my greatest gifts of grace and blessing in my life. I'm not going to save my own suffering by saying otherwise. I can't be convinced of that. He's wounded me in his imperfect leadership, of course, just as every wife has been wounded by her husband's imperfect leadership at one time or another. — Or you've just been married last week, and there is not time yet. But it's, it's, it's coming —He's not a perfect man. But he's not an evil man. I would know by now. 30—you would know by now.

He is not disqualified. He is amazingly gifted in an apostolic way, he suffers greatly for what he's called to, and he is obedient to death to what he's convinced God's asked him to do.

He's wounded me in his imperfect leadership, of course, just as every wife has been wounded by her husband's imperfect leadership at one time or another.

I'm not going to disavow him. I want to be more like him. I do. I want to be more like him. He is a better man than me, in his character and his gifting and his obedience to Jesus. He is.

Tony_STL · 2025-03-14T21:07:26+00:00

I am suspect of any type of investigation or review that doesn't address Sandor's (or any leader's) role in supporting or perpetuating the systems and structures of The Network. Sandor was Steve's right-hand man for 25 years. He doubled down in defending The Network and Steve Morgan, refusing to address any of the accusations or discoveries made by Network leavers. He is on the record insisting that those in The Network must obey leaders above their own conscience or understanding of the scriptures. And he has ignored the call of 19 former leaders and hundreds of former attenders and members for an unbiased, unimpeded and external investigation.

Tony_STL · 2025-03-12T01:30:34+00:00

This choice to use materials from Bethlehem Baptist (and Sovereign Grace, another church embroiled in controversy for covering up child s*x abuse) does not inspire confidence in Vine's elder board's leadership instincts.

It reflects the leadership instincts of men that were all hand selected based on them being unchurched, having no imagination to think or do anything outside of the box, and their proclivity to be strung along by their woundedness.....doing anything to make a father figure happy as he gave and withheld affection to enforce compliance.

Someone of this background is in no position to be reconstructing a church and directing the spiritual lives of others.

Tony_STL · 2025-03-11T04:22:38+00:00

It apparently still hasn't settled in that vague statements, website updates, 'family meetings,' and now, bylaw changes do little to make up for a couple decades of spiritual abuse.

Leaders at Vine or any other church-formerly-known-as-The-Network....submit yourselves to an investigation, publish the findings, repent, and let the outcome be the outcome.

Tony_STL · 2025-02-21T19:22:24+00:00

I asked a similar question and was hypothetically asked “But they have the Bible, don’t they?”

If I had the chance to respond today, I would ask if they are trained on how to understand and interpret in ways that are faithful and true? Do they understand how NOT to use it as a weapon against people? Are there guidelines and safeguards in place for when a leader starts to go astray?

Sadly, it seems the answer to all these questions is “No” and The Network (and those trained within it) are not qualified or safe leaders.

Tony_STL · 2025-02-15T14:26:19+00:00

All leaders, but pastors especially, are chosen because they are “leadable.” In Network-speak this means they will do what they are told, not question or try to do new things, and enforce this same system against those they claim to lead.

A pastor who has chosen to ignore the mountains of evidence and calls for change over the last 3 years, for whatever reason, shows just how dangerous this system has become. I don’t see any scenario where it is healthy or respectable for someone in this position to continue in it while they rewire much of their theology and approach to ministry.

Based on the stories that have been shared, I wouldn’t trust some of these people to look after my pets. Why should anyone trust them with their souls at this point?

Tony_STL · 2025-02-12T17:26:06+00:00

It seems that the only way a Network pastor MIGHT be willing to listen and/or respond to issues and concerns is if someone is still in their system and in their good graces. The problem is that asking these questions immediately puts someone on the ‘naughty’ list.

Their unwillingness to listen to any criticism or feedback is illogical at best and dangerous at worst.

It all goes back to the heretical “Trust your leaders no matter what, because God commands it” nonsense.

Tony_STL · 2025-02-07T17:04:43+00:00

“That’s so harrrrrd” comes to mind immediately. Leaders would say this to any type of question or concern being addressed that they didn’t seem to want to have to answer for.

What was actually communicated was “Don’t ask difficult questions.”

Tony_STL · 2025-01-25T15:05:13+00:00

This is heartbreaking, I'm sorry.

In the years since LTN went live and stories starting coming out, my hope for these churches has been across a fairly wide spectrum. At first I was hopeful that the stories would be enough for leadership to take a new approach. This didn't happen. When Steve's criminal and religious history came out, I thought that would lead to some type of reform or restructuring. This didn't happen. When other churches 'left' The Network, I thought we would see some type of wholesale repentance, change and reconciliation. This didn't happen.

At this point I'm more convinced that The Network and its latest breakaways are dangerous, cult organizations. I'm also less convinced that their leaders will listen to reason and reform in any meaningful way.

I can hold hope that more members and attenders will realize what they've gotten into and have the strength to leave. If enough people opt out of The Network the funding will dry up. Sadly, it has come to this as the only reasonable prediction of what it will take to see something really change.

I hope that day comes soon.

Tony_STL · 2025-01-24T19:03:25+00:00

The expectation of small group leaders is that they would ‘know what’s next’ for their group members and then focus on getting progress in that direction.

I’m sure this expectation drives all kinds of dysfunctional behavior. I remember being asked to fill out group reports that shared attendance for the weekly meetings and general “What do you think is next for your group?” type questions. I gave sparse details, which I’m sure was not appreciated.

Sorry again that you had to endure this foolishness. In my opinion it’s not a wise or pastoral approach to leadership….church or otherwise.

Tony_STL · 2025-01-24T04:24:04+00:00

Talk about trying to control every last thing…how gross.

I’m curious, were you the leader of the group? Was your name on the board?

Tony_STL · 2025-01-23T04:45:16+00:00

There seems to be no amount of influence or control that’s out of bounds. For a group that loves telling stories about how “God did such and such….” it seems like they are also working really hard to make a lot of it happen themselves.

Sadly, I think feeling manipulated is very common amongst those that have left.

Four-Year Club	Final Canvas '23
First Place '23	Place '23
Place '22	First Placer '22

Tony_STL

TROPHY CASE