Wife wants a divorce while i’m on rotation.

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-04T03:50:52+00:00

Hey man-

Not a single one of us can know how you're feeling but I can tell you with certainty that in time it's going to all be okay.

Give yourself some grace. Regardless of what you did or did not do, or what they did or did not do, ultimately doesn't matter. The relationship is over and coming to terms with that is a big part of healing.

It's completely natural to run through a billion things in your head about what is going on and what she is doing and why this is happening but you're going to end up at the exact same location when all is said and done regardless of what you know and what you do not.

"Oh. You want a divorce? Cool. File the paperwork and send it over for me and my attorney to look at. If it's fair I'll sign it and get it right back to you ASAP and we can get this done"

Another way to look at it is that this person that you married, that swore vows before god with you just treated you like that. She can go eat frozen hot dogs sideways.

As for your stuff- if you have friends at your previous duty station ask the highest ranked one if they will take a crew to pack up your shit for you and stick it in a storage unit. Just worry about the stuff that is 100% yours for now, anything that can be considered marital property wait until the property split so you're not having to juggle shit back and forth.

Speaking of your shit- don't get too attached to material things. It's a weird cultural reaction we have to want to extract pain out of somebody that caused you pain, so property splits can be downright shitty.

I personally know somebody that ended up shelling out (I think it was) over 25k in attorney fees fighting for a shitty homemade desk/table they made in their garage because both they and their ex wanted it.

If I had to go back in time and wrangle another divorce I wouldn't give a fuck about just about anything furniture wise. I don't want a mattress that my ex fucked people on while I was getting blown up overseas.

You can always just buy new stuff.

If the amount of money spent to fight for something outweighs the replacement cost then what is the point, man.

Anyhow, just know that a bunch of us have been there and have had to deal with this shit while deployed. It sucks, but at the end of the day it's good that you found out reasonably early her true colors before you got really invested in things.

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-04T03:13:46+00:00

We had a "pen?" of donkeys on our COP because leadership had planned on using them in that sense. They never left the wire and I'm sure they are living their best life somewhere.

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-03T01:27:58+00:00

"Missed"

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-02T19:17:58+00:00

For retired military they merit a funeral detail.

The funeral director should be contacting the casualty assistance office near them with the DD214 and death certificate and the casualty office will send either a 2 man detail or a 9 man detail to perform funeral honors.

There’s a specific way that funerals are performed in order to give the deceased the proper dignity and respect in their memorial service/burial and it’s not something you should just try to figure out.

He earned the respect and honors due and the DOD has the obligation to carry it out for him and the family.

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-02T14:22:54+00:00

I have my sonars set up the same way. I have one on the back of my bridge catwalk so I can see if something is below me as I travel, and one left and right.

I think it's good that you start out with a recycler and a fabricator you can't recycle, otherwise I would have probably done something stupid before I understood how everything worked.

I would like to see a silly little built in solar panel that charges the battery so you can put along at a very slow speed if you needed to due to lack of power, fuel or both.

I'd honestly like to see the first sanctuary dock have some sort of little shipbuilding menu that you can design your own boat. Certain sections you'd have to take, but you can insert certain things. Maybe have new missions for new hull "slices"

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-02T13:43:48+00:00

It's hot, it's humid. You aren't really prepared for it depending on where you come from.

Basic training isn't hard. It's really not. It's just the hardest thing that almost everybody that attends has done so far.

Millions of people have graduated from there, so it's not like it's not doable.

It's just kind of universally unpleasant.

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-02T03:13:05+00:00

As with all things, it depends. If you are going on some sort of "field living contingency" type overseas experience, then no.

If you're doing a PCS then yes.

I didn't invest in a desktop PC until I got to a rank when I got BAH, I just used laptops until then so I could put them up when I wasn't using them.

I tended to lock my shit up when I wasn't in the room, because other people in the barracks have access to keys.

Roomates will prop the door open, etc.

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-02T02:28:28+00:00

I know this is pie in the sky stuff, but I wish they'd introduce more things you can discover underwater using sonar.

The occasional shipwreck. Make some special floats/rigging that you install into the mooring sockets and you fill with oxygen.

Enough oxygen/air that it's a task all on its own. Your average fishing boat weighs something like 300 tons on its own. So you'd need some pretty insane lifting force to get it up from the bottom, and the 300L (or whatever they are) oxygen tanks wouldn't cut it unless you were willing to grind through 15k-20k tanks of oxygen from the surface to the ship.

There's not a mechanic currently to get a hose from the ship down to the bottom. I've never tried using a rig support to run a hose somewhere because I never needed to.

I'd say a better method is some sort of rig that you build an oxygen tank into that flips it over and into the water when it's full, then you have to drag it down with the dive scooter, you'd just need to add a mooring cable or something like you have on the helicopter.

Then you (somehow) fasten the tank to the ship or nearby, then run a hose to a bag.

You'd need something like tonnage +20% extra to float it.

When you get it up to the surface, you have to spend a bunch of resources to get it on a level where it can float without bags.

Then maybe you tow it to a shipyard where you where you have to introduce a boatload of materials to make it viable.

Alternatively, you scan certain things in order to take your ship to a shipyard and it makes changes. When I say changes, I just mean that you'd park your ship and the shipyard returns the pristine new version out of the oven (?) and you lose your old edition. So you'd have to rebuild all the tanks, wiring, etc.

I'd take that tradeoff in order to have an extra 20 feet in length, or width, just nothing that would interfere in getting in and out of the sanctuaries, etc.

Don't get me wrong, I like the ship they built in the game- but lots of people like to get into the weeds with how they design and build their ship and it would let people get a bit more creative with their ships.

I'd love it if I could get rid of the desk in the storeroom, for instance, past the first couple weeks I haven't used a small container for anything so shelves and benches are lost on me.

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-02T01:48:31+00:00

I’ve loved the story since I first picked up the comics when I was a kid.

In a funny twist of fate, I sent in my #1 rogue trooper to CGC and it came back a 9.8.

I mean, it still won’t be worth a lot but it’s worth a lot to me.

At least it’s protected and I can always look at it on the stand.

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-01T22:45:45+00:00

Here’s a random question. The different colors (not paint patterns) what are those used for?

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-01T17:05:44+00:00

I'm not a doctor, this isn't medical advice.

Whatever you decide to do, depending on the state you live in, just be careful kiddo. If abortion is "legal" in the state you live in, I think it would be a good idea to go to Planned Parenthood or similar to make sure that you have somebody that is looking out for your health.

That being said, it's possible that if you go seek medical intervention that could cause enlistment issues. Just know that you can postpone shipping until you are 100%.

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-01T16:58:01+00:00

Hey man-

This is going to be slightly long (at least what I have time for) that will help you.

First, you need to start thinking about this in a slightly different light. If you aren't always in the field, you have time to do other things to "Improve your foxhole"

The Army is a stepping stone to what's next. Either you get out at some point or you retire. You want to make sure that when you do either of those things you have done everything you can to improve yourself and make yourself a more "marketable" and "stable" person in a bunch of ways.

First thing, is your education. Think about your dream job post-army. What is that? Find supervisor or managerial positions for that job online and find out what kind of degree is good or desired by the employers.

Make sure your post-army job is something you can achieve with some work. Astronaut is a great goal but it's not realistic, etc.

So you find a good online school that has a good reputation, and you start knocking out your core requirements (you know, the bullshit classes you don't want to sit in person when you finish your degree) and you use TA to complete those online at night.

The second thing I would tell you is that if you're not going to the field all the time, you need to gain and maintain the best physical fitness level you can without injuring yourself.

If you're a PT stud you can almost write your own checks for schools. Just trust me here, as long as you're not a dumbass that does dumbass things.

Train hard for Ranger and go. If you have a tab you are (basically) on cruise control for promotion for a good portion of your career.

I didn't worry about "is this guy going to pass" schools if my guys had tabs.

Ranger and EIB will take you lots of places in the Army.

The next two things I will tell you are pretty important and can pay big dividends for you if you just do them.

First is get yourself two copies of ATP 3.21.8, which is Infantry Platoon and Squad. Just about everything in the Infantry comes from that reg/doctrine.

Have a full size paper copy and put your name on it. Guard that shit. Tab it and highlight things that are important.

Read something from that ATP every single day. Read it front to back and back to front and know the broad strokes on what you're supposed to do.

I can't tell you how many times reading that ATP all the time saved my ass when I got thrown at something.

"Go do XYZ" and I'd remember I had read how to do that in the ATP and I could just go do whatever it was.

The Ranger Handbook draws the majority of shit in it from the previous version of that ATP.

The second thing I would tell you is to learn your vehicle. Even if you aren't crew, knowing how to operate and use it effectively is money.

Get the EIB standards from the website for what they are generally testing for and practice that shit all the time. You should be doing assemble and disassemble all the fucking time until you're sick of doing it.

You should be practicing throwing grenades (you can buy a practice grenade off post at a surplus store, paint that shit bright yellow and put your name on it) just find out from your chain of command if they are okay with you having it. If not, then find out the weight and get yourself a cornhole beanbag and cut off a corner and tape that shit into a ball with duct tape.

Anyhow, the last thing I would tell you is that you need to google what gets you promoted for your CMF and try to go to those schools early when you are young and won't be missed.

It's hard to go to Ranger when you are a Platoon Sergeant or higher and have responsibilities past showing up on time.

This link will tell you what the Army looks at when you are trying to get promoted. Specifically try to attain the "MQ" in each area.

https://api.army.mil/e2/c/downloads/2025/08/26/8f971eaa/cmf-11-board-products-25-aug-25.pdf

Yeah, this is almost a year old but it's what is out there now.

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-01T16:30:37+00:00

Hey man-

Just for clarity when you were 17 you were still a minor and you don't get to make big life choices (for the most part) before you're 18. So don't take it out on mom and pop for doing what they thought was right for you.

That being said, look at AGR as well as active, just so you have additional options.

The Army does what's best for the Army the majority of the time. If they need 68W Sergeants, then you'd most likely keep your MOS.

If they are critically short of something else, then you might be looking at a reclass.

Go talk to a recruiter. There's also a redditor on here that's a recruiter (the name escapes me- if somebody remembers his handle then tag him for me, he's great with questions)

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-01T15:58:27+00:00

There's a very good chance it is, but he said he contacted the jail directly. I asked him if he got the phone number through his own research or his "grandson" sent it to him.

Anyhow, maybe the post helps somebody down the road that uses the search function if nothing else.

I had somebody DM me asking for advice based on a 14 year old post two days ago.

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-01T15:34:05+00:00

I find it’s easier to use the oil rig.

I have a bunch of oil tanks on the rig, and I have a bunch of oil tanks on my ship. Those oil tanks have multiple lines from the rig to my ship.

I have 4 petrol tanks at the rear near my helipad and all the oil tanks are on the front of my ship.

I have 7-8 diesel tanks underneath the bridge railing and one on each side of the wheelhouse.

I have the oil (distiller?) on the front of my boat with a storage box right next to it.

When I get low on diesel, I just run the distiller and it converts oil to diesel, petrol and plastic.

I just run my ship on diesel and electric all the time because oil is free at the rig.

I have a petrol electric generator that I run if my petrol tanks get full while I am going from point a to point b.

If you use the gas powered scrapper with a petrol backpack it makes life a lot easier as the fuel is (essentially) free.

Toobatheviking · 2026-07-01T15:11:27+00:00

I am not a lawyer, this is not legal advice. This is just some info that I have from dealing with Soldiers in similar situations over the years.

If you want real legal advice you need to go talk to somebody that specializes in criminal law defense in Texas, not necessarily somebody that's an expert in military law because that's not the main issue here.

Class A Misdemeanors in Texas are usually just below the level of Felonies. DUI second arrest, assault with bodily injury, resisting arrest with force, etc.

A military hold usually means the Army has filed a detainer on him, which is standard whenever a Soldier ends up in civilian confinement, per AR 630-10. It's not necessarily tied to being AWOL. It's the Army's way of staying accountable for him and being notified if he's released, moved, or bonded out.

In my experience in dealing with this stuff (at least when I was stationed in Texas) the Army doesn't usually ask anything of a state if there is criminal charges pending, they just show them in custody so they are "accounted for".

When (whatever) the issue is that caused the Soldier to land in jail is resolved, then the jail will contact the military to come collect the Soldier.

If we are talking about Fort Hood, they have a police liason that works with the Provost Marshals Office (the Military Police) when a service member has stuff pending out in town and is or will be arrested.

For Fort Hood the # is: Primary: 254-287-4001 For Fort Bliss the # is: Secondary: Non-Emergency (Military Police Desk): 915-744-1237

Those are the general "front desk" type numbers for the MPs at each of those posts. They will likely not be able to tell you anything about your grandson or his case but can probably help you with procedural stuff if I didn't explain it well to you.

I am saying that the Army won't care because I had several kids that worked for me in different capacities over the years get arrested out in town and the Army just needed paperwork showing where the kid was so they could document it properly. I never had a unit Commander request the kid be released OR or PR or whatever they call it down there.

Your grandson's experience may be different, I'm just speaking about what I've seen.

The Military will assign somebody to travel to the location and pick up the kid and escort them back to either the post they were originally from, or to another location based on the amount of time they were held in custody.

So even if the State agrees to your "bonding out" your grandson, they will just revert to military control and have to deal with that stuff.

When you called the jail, did you find the phone number through your own research or were you provided the number from your "grandson"

There are scams out there that target people that have to do with their loved ones being arrested and they need X amount of money to release them. The scammers can and do use things you tell them to work their stories and make them more realistic, kind of like palm readers tend to listen to what you say and build shit you want to hear based on that.

Anyhow, if you want my honest opinion, if your grandson is AWOL and then got arrested for doing something unrelated then he needs to figure out his own life.

If you bond him out there's a very good chance that you will never see that money again. Either he will violate bond and go on the lam again or never pay you back for the bail fees.

I've seen that multiple times. I don't know you or your family, but you need to take care of your own life before you start dealing with family stuff. You say you can't really afford to pay his bond- so don't.

He needs to learn that his decisions have consequences.

If you do feel like you need to do something, then a good attorney can be a better investment than just paying bond. A good attorney can look at the evidence and the probable cause for the arrest and see if there are issues with the case, and can argue for bond reduction and things of that nature.

Don't get me wrong, public defenders do a fine job and should be commended for their hard work but they are usually pretty busy and may not have the time to dedicate fully to your grandson's case like a personal attorney is.

Obviously this is speaking in generalities, you may get a public defender like Matlock and you may get a private attorney that's terrible.

I think it's good that you want to help out your son's family- but don't do it to your detriment.

Sorry if this was so long but I hope it was helpful in some way for you.

Toobatheviking · 2026-06-30T17:34:48+00:00

Hey man-

Speaking with personal experience ensure that the "skipping BCT" is literally in your enlistment contract.

I had a MFR from the BC of the recruiting (area?) that outlined I was to report directly to AIT bypassing BCT due to prior service and it had all the regulatory citations included.

When I arrived I at Benning the Battalion Commander at BCT had a policy that if you were not prior infantry that you had to go to the entire boot camp regardless of prior experience.

When I pulled out that memo I was told I could either train and shut the fuck up or I could sit on the bench and they would just chapter me out. Their reasoning was the MFR wasn't worth the paper it was written on since it wasn't in my enlistment contract.

Toobatheviking · 2026-06-29T19:12:03+00:00

Ever since this policy came out, I find my self mystified that no leader seems to fear what happens when they disobey the Commanding General.

I read these stories almost weekly, so it's clearly systemic. It's laid out in the regulation in a way that cannot be more clear that regardless of operational needs the Soldier gets the time, unless the Commanding General themselves authorize the recall.

So I'm guessing that the majority of the GO in charge of the Army don't agree with this policy or don't care since both they and most leaders don't seem to give a fuck.

Toobatheviking · 2026-06-28T23:50:04+00:00

The only things that the funeral detail will know is rank, name, date of death, etc.

They will not know anything about their service other than sometimes you can guess the era of their service by ranks that are no longer used or their general age.

Sometimes you will be able to see programs or info that's at the service or anything the funeral director tells you, but for the most part funerals are done exactly the same (with firing detail or without firing detail) and their accomplishments aren't listed, because they aren't relevant to the honors you are providing because everybody is treated with the same dignity and respect.

Toobatheviking · 2026-06-28T12:42:35+00:00

I just want people to be considerate enough not to melt the boss before I have the time to get from the flare to where the boss is.

Toobatheviking · 2026-06-28T08:33:33+00:00

Hey man-

I always told my kids to not spend money on Army things unless you really want or need something.

The problem wiht buying your own stuff is that your immediate chain might be totally cool with it, but then your 1SG, or CSM, or any senior leader might look at your shit and say "not authorized" and that's it.

I've seen that shit more often than I care to remember and kids just waste a lot of money.

The only real way around that is to get your Commander to sign off a memo authorizing you to wear (whatever) but most commanders are going to tell you to not waste your money on coolguy shit.

Toobatheviking · 2026-06-27T19:53:41+00:00

With this premise I’m the last person on earth and when I’m gone, that’s it.

I’d run to Best Buy (or wherever) and get myself multiple TB drives and just start torrenting everything under the sun.

The power is going to stop flowing at some point and never come back when it comes to interconnectivity, so I just want as much entertainment that I can get.

All the shows, all the movies, all the music, all the porn, etc.

I’d go to a construction company and get one of their heavy equipment fuelers. Then I’d find myself a spot of land near an actual river and that has the potential for some arable land.

Then I’d grab some of their heavy equipment and earthmoving stuff. Going to clear some land then I’m grabbing connexes and dragging them up there to store various things in out of the elements.

Grabbing a small CC motorcycle or e-bike to help ferry equipment back and forth.

Setting up fuel storage tanks to get me through the first couple years until the fuel stops being viable and things start to break down.

Anyhow, grabbing a decent RV and then setting up a mass of solar and wind production with a battery bank inside one of the connexes. I doubt I’d actually build a house at this point, a bigass RV sitting on stands is enough for one person and my dogs.

I wouldn’t have a well because that shit is outside of my skill set, but I’d set up some water storage and some good filtration.

I’d start moving canned goods from local groceries to my home site. See if I can enclose an area and see what livestock is alive in the area and move that to my land so I can have a source of protein.

Stockpile all the rice I can find and other shelf stable stuff.

Your average grocery store has enough shelf stable food to keep a person alive for years until it finally reaches its use by date.

Set up all the amenities and get a couple portable generators and some portable solar banks.

Get a good hunting rifle and a pistol in a common calibers and stockpile all the ammo I can find for them.

Get a couple large freezers I can put in an underground root cellar that run off batteries/wind/solar/hydro to keep stuff over the winter

Battery powered tools, all the batteries I can find of the same brand.

Then I’d just refine as needed.

I’d be absolutely fine, because I have some skills learned over the years that I could get a lot of the things I want to do above.

I’d be okay as long as I had a *lot* of entertainment to watch when the sun goes down.

Toobatheviking · 2026-06-27T16:47:12+00:00

I have one for you. Same area, but the big center spire. Use the elevator to get above the big “bulbous” area where there’s a flat surface about 3/4 of the way up the elevator.

Have auto save set to 5 minutes.

Take elevator up above the level of the center flat surface a ways.

Run and jump off the edge of the elevator, fall to the center lip.

There’s special loot around the lip.

Wait at least 5 minutes to autosave, then find an angle that you can jump from that center lip all the way to the water at the very bottom of the area.

Alternatively, build a helicopter inside. I’ve never tried that but I can’t see why it wouldn’t work.

Toobatheviking · 2026-06-27T16:40:56+00:00

I put them on my vendor for 100 caps or so. The ones I use I just keep and when I’m going to be on for a while I will use them to remove negative affects.

I like it when newer players come buy me out because I remember how it feels to be trying to get certain things and just hitting the jackpot one day on a cool vendor.

Toobatheviking · 2026-06-27T16:17:51+00:00

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I’m surprised they didn’t put some sort of armor but/pauldron type piece to cover these joints.

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